Work Text:
The first time they held hands was uneventful.
They were walking by the park, over a small bridge in small pond in a lazy afternoon.
Cale was telling him about something that happened in his work. Roksu couldn't remember what it was, but he remembered how the corner of Cale's eyes crinkled when he laughed, how the wind fluttered his hair, or how his laughter sounded like windchimes on a spring day.
Roksu didn't give it much thought.
He just noticed that several couples they passed by were holding hands, and he thought since he and Cale were a couple, that maybe they should hold hands too.
So he slipped his fingers between Cale's, clasping his hand and noticing how soft they are.
Cale had stuttered into a halt.
The look of surprise on Cale's face was memorable, and to borrow the words from their friends: "It looks like Cale has malfunctioned again, Roksu-nim".
Roksu didn't fully understand Cale's reaction then.
They were just holding hands after all. It's what couples do, right? Roksu had worried a bit if he did something wrong, but he shouldn't have worried.
Cale, not knowing what to do with himself, had panicked and called the first person he sees in his contact list to ask advice on what to do.
Poor Choi Han was in the middle of teaching when Cale called, and thinking it was an emergency, ended his class prematurely.
Roksu stood there amused and confused as Cale and Han argued on the phone until Han convinced Cale to hand the phone over to him.
Cale had crouched down the ground, embarrassed, while Choi Han explained to him that Cale had planned a date where he'll hold hands with him for the first time because, apparently, Cale wanted all of Roksu's firsts to be special.
Choi Han called Cale an idiot, Cale had confessed that he didn't want to mess up this relationship like the ones he's been in before, and Roksu had assured him that everyday is already special because he's with Cale.
It ended up being a story their group of friends would not stop teasing Cale with, much to Cale's annoyance.
(And through it all, Roksu recalls with fondness, Cale never let go of his hand)
They held hands more often after that.
Roksu had often wondered how Cale managed it, wooing him.
He had never been particularly interested in anyone the way most people do, and he's not sure if what he feels for Cale is the same way Cale feels for him but...
Cale had made Roksu feel comfortable in a way very few people had managed to do.
And even then, Cale had managed to become special.
Maybe it is because Cale simply accepted his everything. Maybe Roksu liked how Cale was so similar to him and yet so different. Maybe it is because he's stubborn, determined to be in Roksu's life even if it meant forever being just a friend.
Maybe it is how Cale is so clumsy and yet so endearing with how he expresses his love.
If Roksu finds it all adorable, who could blame him?
When Roksu took that leap of faith, accepting Cale's love, he had been prepared to to give it his all.
Cale accepts the way he loves too, after all, so he thought he should do the same.
So even when he doesn't really understand it, doesn't really care much for it, Roksu also opened up to Cale in the physical way most people do.
He didn't really understand why Cale had been so emotional, had asked again and again if he's sure, had been so excited and yet so shy at the same time.
But Roksu supposed, with Cale looking down at him him with expression full of love, their hands clasped together tightly as they become one...
Roksu supposed he doesn't mind holding hands like this too.
It's just another way to express love afterall, and Cale was very adept at it, expressing his love.
He's very adept at making Roksu feel it, at least.
Really, what could Roksu do but grow fond?
They had held hands in many other occasions.
Happy times, sad times, in beginnings and ends, in different milestones of their life.
So many things had happened, and yet Cale remained there, with his warm presence and his warm hand holding his.
What can Roksu do but strive to do the same?
When Roksu suddenly learned of a long lost sister and a nephew,
When Cale had a relapse in his struggle with alcoholism,
When said sister dies and he's suddenly thrust with the responsibility of raising a child,
When Cale had to return home and mend his relationship with his family,
When they finally tied the knot...
When Cale's career took off and Roksu got his promotion,
When they bought their first house and welcomed two new additions to their home,
When they hosted their first Christmas party, surrounded with their friends and family,
In all these instances, and even in the mundane everyday life, Roksu always had Cale's hand holding onto his.
Before Roksu noticed, it had become natural, entwining his hand with Cale's.
It had become part of life, a part of Roksu's reality, something he looks forward to everyday
Still, even now, Roksu doesn't fully understand what got Cale so flustered the first time they held hands.
They just held hands. It's what couples do, after all.
Maybe he'll never fully understand.
Roksu finds that he doesn't mind.
He doesn't need to understand, he just needs to hold Cale's hand.
Roksu smiles, brushing their fingers together as Cale responds to the touch, seeking him out, holding him and not letting go.
In another uneventful day in Roksu's life, passing by the same bridge they first held hands on, Roksu caught their reflection in the water.
Their children ran pass them, and Cale called out to them to be careful.
Cale is still holding onto his hand, and Roksu's heart swells.
Oh, Roksu thought, as he saw the water reflect the small smile on his lips, the intertwining of their hands, and Cale's loving gaze on him.
All this time he had been wondering.
What's so special about holding hands?
The answer had been so simple all along.
It isn't about the action.
It's the person.
Roksu squeezes Cale's hand in his, feeling profoundly the warmth and affection and the love, and he is content.