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“Right!” Garreth slammed his tray down so hard both Ominis and Sebastian jumped. “RAG week is coming up soon, and I’ve realised I believe in karma and don’t fancy being reincarnated as an insect, so I’ve decided to make my own contribution.”
Sebastian narrowed his eyes suspiciously at him.
“It’s not something that causes permanent damage to university property, is it?”
Garreth pretended to be offended.
“Of course not.”
“And nothing that causes permanent damage to one’s physical person?” Ominis asked.
Garreth rolled his eyes.
“You’re such bullies. No, nothing and no one is going to be harmed… permanently.”
Sebastian didn’t like the pause he left hanging at the end of that sentence. He took a bite of his sandwich and said:
“Well, out with it then. What have you planned?”
Garreth gave them a mysterious grin.
“I’ve realised this university is sorely lacking in warmth, drama, love and physical affection. So I’ve decided on… a kissing booth!”
“No,” Sebastian and Ominis said in unison.
“The student council would never allow something like that,” Ominis added. “There’s a little thing called consent and prostitution, Garreth.”
Garreth rolled his eyes again. His food was going cold on his plate, but he didn’t seem to care.
“Yes, Mr I-Can’t-Have-Any-Fun, I know. That’s why I’ve already spoken to the student council and they’ve agreed to let me run the kissing booth on the condition that everyone involved is a voluntary participant and that innocent options — like a kiss on the hand or cheek — are included. I’ve already sorted the table, sign and price list. I only need one thing.”
Sebastian really didn’t like where this was going.
Garreth looked at them with wide, pleading eyes.
“Will you stand at the booth?”
“Absolutely not,” Sebastian snapped, putting his sandwich down. Good intentions were all well and fine, but he’d never been particularly invested in RAG week. Besides, there was only one person he wanted to kiss, and volunteering as some sort of professional kissing-booth tart felt rather counter-productive. He glanced at Ominis, fully expecting his best friend to be just as vehemently opposed. Ominis tilted his head thoughtfully and said:
“All right.”
Sebastian whipped his head round like an owl.
“What?”
He couldn’t believe his ears. Ominis blushed if Sebastian so much as hugged him when they met, and he was forever lecturing people about his moral principles; from cheating on exams to accessible PDFs or social hierarchies. Yet now Ominis looked completely calm, almost serene, as he picked up his own sandwich and took a bite.
Garreth let out a delighted shriek.
“I knew I could count on you, Ominis!” He looked like he wanted to lean across the table and hug him, but evidently thought better of it. Though was still bouncing in his seat.
“Why do you want to be in the kissing booth?” Sebastian asked, stunned. A nest of snakes began twisting about in his stomach.
Ominis shrugged. “It might be fun.”
Even Garreth looked a little doubtful. He and Sebastian shared a look, like: is this really Ominis?
“Right,” Sebastian said, trying to swallow the bitter taste in his mouth. “I… suppose it might be.” Truth be told, there was probably nothing in the world he’d enjoy less than standing there while Ominis kissed other people, even if it was only a peck on the cheek.
“Can you join in too, Sallow?” Garreth pleaded, eyes wide with hope. “Ominis is stunning, and anyone into that sharp, aristocratic, posh-boy vibe will flock to him. But I need you for the whole rugged, popular bad boy look.”
Sebastian glanced down at his hoodie and ripped jeans.
“I’ve been told I’m more of a golden retriever,” he said, tugging on the pocket of his dark green hoodie.
“A naughty golden retriever,” Garreth said sycophantically. “Come on, Sallow, please. The local kittens get neutered and you get some action. God knows you need it.”
God also knew the only reason Sebastian wasn’t getting any ‘action’ was because there was only one person he wanted it from. He wasn’t entirely convinced he believed in God either. He sighed.
“Fine.”
While Garreth squealed in triumph, Sebastian sneaked a glance at Ominis, who had now put one AirPod in and seemed to be scrolling through something on his phone. The snakes in Sebastian’s stomach twisted worse than ever.
To Sebastian’s surprise, Garreth’s booth was actually rather cute. A table covered with a deep red cloth, a scattering of fake rose petals, and a price list pinned up showing the cost of each type of kiss. A kiss on the back of the hand was one pound. A cheek kiss, two pounds. An Eskimo kiss, three pounds. And finally, a kiss on the lips, five pounds.
Sebastian shivered and buried his fingers into his scarf.
“Do you seriously think anyone’s going to pay five quid for a kiss on the mouth?” he asked Garreth, who was busy arranging the cash box.
“No, I think people would pay not to kiss you,” Garreth replied. Sebastian rolled his eyes.
“I can still back out.”
“Nope!” Garreth said cheerfully, snapping the lid of the box shut. “You’re here and you promised.”
Sebastian scoffed. "I did no such thing. You nagged and guilt-tripped me into joining. I am doing this solely for the sake of every non-spayed female cat out there."
"And look at Ominis, who is doing this solely for the sake of his pure heart and good intentions." Garreth gestured at Ominis, who looked absurdly adorable in his grey earmuffs and green-and-silver striped scarf. He was shivering too, and Sebastian resisted the urge to pull him close and warm him up.
“Oh come on,” Sebastian groaned, regretting his participation more and more by the second. He picked up the cash box and waved it demonstratively in front of Garreth's face. “No one in their right mind would pay to kiss me.”
“No, people would do it for free.”
Both Garreth and Sebastian stopped bickering and turned to Ominis, who looked as though he absolutely hadn’t meant to say that out loud.
“I mean,” Ominis said quickly, clearing his throat, “I heard people talking about the kissing booth earlier, and they were very excited that you’d be in it.” His cheeks were slightly pink, though maybe that was just from the cold.
“When you two are done with whatever that is,” Garreth said, gesturing between them — Sebastian suddenly realised he’d been staring at Ominis like an idiot while Ominis’ cheeks got redder and redder —“you can start. There’s already a queue.”
He pointed, and sure enough a small crowd had gathered, shuffling nervously and apparently working up the courage to step forward. Sebastian let out a long sigh, setting down the cash box.
“Remind me why you’re not standing here yourself?” he asked as he pulled out his lip balm and wetted his lips. Garreth began backing away.
“Because I have a very jealous, very smart and very sexy boyfriend who I’m now going to help with his own charity stall, which happens to involve selling handmade star maps and constellation jewellery.”
Sebastian made a disgusted noise, but had to admit Garreth might have a point.
If he ignored what he and Ominis were about to do, it was actually rather cosy watching the courtyard fill with students and colourful stalls. Sebastian spotted Poppy, selling handmade jewellery shaped like ladybirds to raise money for the local animal shelter. Imelda had planted herself on a tall chair with her arms folded. Behind her was a sign stating that it cost five pounds to make her laugh, and if you succeeded you got your money back. Nellie Oggspire and Nerida Roberts were doing face painting, Everett Clopton was selling his grandmother’s knitted gloves, and Natty offered henna designs on people’s hands.
“Right, here we go,” Sebastian sighed, flipping the sign to show their booth was open.
To Sebastian’s surprise, the queue kept moving. He knew he looked decent enough, but he hadn’t expected a non-stop line for two hours straight after opening. It had been a bit slow to start, but once the first girl — a cute thing with light blonde hair — had stumbled over giggling and paid for a kiss on the cheek, the floodgates opened. After that, people poured in.
Sebastian had expected it to be awkward between him and Ominis — there was, as previously stated, few things worse he could think of than idly standing by and watching Ominis kiss other people. In reality, though, Sebastian barely had time to glance over at Ominis, as his own line seemed neverending.
There was an awkward moment where his ex, Samantha Dale, lined up and asked for a kiss on the mouth. They had dated briefly over two years ago and ended on mostly mutual terms, what with Sebastian realising he preferred his partners with less boobs and lip gloss. Preferably also with a white-and-red stick, hair like sunlight and a drawling, pearly chuckle whenever Sebastian said something stupid. As Samantha handed over her bill, Sebastian glanced at Ominis, who was resolutely facing away from them. He didn't have anyone in his queue at the moment, and was mostly fiddling with his foldable cane, turning it over in his hands.
Sebastian leaned in and pecked Samantha quickly on the mouth. Her lips were cold and sticky from some sweet lip gloss.
The snapping sound of Ominis folding up his cane made them both startle a little.
"Have a nice day," Sebastian said awkwardly, wiping his mouth as Samantha giggled and walked off.
He glanced at Ominis, wanting to say something, but then a girl walked up to Ominis and asked for a kiss on the hand. And then another girl came up to Sebastian and asked for a kiss on the cheek. And the moment was over.
Apart from Samantha, most people bought cheek kisses or a kiss on the hand, which Sebastian was grateful for. Even so, by the time the lunch break came around his lips were slightly dry from all the mouth kisses he’d given out.
“I swear,” Sebastian groaned, flipping up the temporary sign to say his half of the booth was closed for now, “why do girls insist on wearing fifteen layers of lipstick or gloss? My mouth tastes like cherries and Sephora.”
He dropped into the cold plastic chair, half hidden behind the table and behind Ominis, who was still carrying on while Sebastian took his lunch.
“I don’t know,” Ominis replied, somewhat stiffly. “Maybe because they’re girls. And because everyone’s had a crush on you since you shouted ‘here’ at registration.”
Sebastian’s stomach fluttered again. He didn’t say what he was thinking (“By everyone, do you mean yourself as well?”), but pulled out his lunchbox and watched, subtly, as his best friend carried on working.
Ominis hadn’t had as long a queue as Sebastian, but Sebastian was fairly sure that was only because most people were a little scared of him. There probably wasn’t a soul alive who thought he was unattractive: Ominis looked like an angel carved by God himself. With his straight brows, delicate nose and long lashes framing those grey, unseeing eyes, Ominis was almost painful to look at. His fair hair seemed to glow like a halo.
But he had had a few customers, and so far every single one had only bought cheek kisses or kisses on the hand. (Sebastian had almost gone cross-eyed trying to keep track of his own line while keeping an eye on Ominis’.) Every time he saw a new giggling girl approach Ominis’ side of the stall, Sebastian’s stomach clenched into knots, and it only loosened once he heard her buy a cheek or a hand kiss.
Sebastian had relaxed just enough, absorbed in his lunch, that he nearly toppled off his chair when a deeper voice said:
“A kiss on the mouth, please.”
Startled, Sebastian leaned sideways to see who had the nerve to order a real kiss from Ominis.
Isaac Cooper was leaning arrogantly over the table, elbow propped on it, looking at Ominis with raised brows. His dark blue scarf was loosely wrapped around his neck and he looked, infuriatingly, very good.
Sebastian’s lunch threatened to come back up.
Ominis looked just as shocked.
“I… yes, of course. That’ll be five pounds,” he said weakly, holding out his hand. Cooper placed a note that looked like it was worth far more than five pounds into his palm, and curled his fingers around Ominis’ hand as he took it.
“Keep the change,” he said smoothly, and Sebastian genuinely thought he might be sick.
Ominis didn’t seem to know what to do either. He fumbled with the note before locating the cash box and dropping it inside. Sebastian almost looked away, but forced himself to watch as Cooper leaned in, tilted his head and kissed Ominis full on the mouth.
The snakes in Sebastian’s stomach had climbed all the way into his throat. He sat frozen while Cooper placed a hand on Ominis’ cheek and deepened the kiss — and hold on, that was far more than a standard peck! None of Sebastian’s own kisses had lasted that long or involved any extra contact.
His only comfort was that Ominis stood frozen, kissing back only with stiff, automatic compliance. It felt like it lasted forever, Sebastian’s stomach twisting and twisting, until, finally, Cooper pulled away with a loud smack, the kind that would have sounded hot if it had been Sebastian kissing Ominis. As it was, it only made him gag.
“Apologies for the little show,” Cooper smirked, licking his lips. “But I did tip quite generously.”
“Thank you for your contribution,” Ominis said weakly, mechanically. Cooper winked at him — Sebastian swallowed down the urge to point out that was pointless — and watched as he swaggered off.
Jealousy clawed at him from the inside.
Fuck.
He’d known from the start that agreeing to this was a terrible idea. But stupidly, he hadn’t actually believed anyone would dare to kiss Ominis properly. Especially not the way Cooper had.
He didn’t mention the kiss, and Ominis didn’t bring it up either. Instead, Sebastian finished his lunch, told Ominis mechanically that it was his turn for a break, and watched as Ominis sat down and pulled out his own sandwich.
The moment Sebastian flipped the sign back, the queue returned, and he spent the next three hours kissing until his lips were sore. The newly bought lip balm he’d brought with him shrank rapidly. Ominis didn’t say a word during his lunch, and when he came back he worked like a machine.
Around three o’clock, Garreth turned up to check on them. Sebastian was almost grateful for the interruption. He and Ominis had barely spoken, and while it wasn’t exactly a tense silence, it definitely wasn’t comfortable either.
“How is my favourite couple doing?” Garreth chirped. Sebastian glared at him.
“We,” he said pointedly, “have raised quite a lot of money for your charity.”
Garreth lifted the cash box and let out a low whistle at the weight and the crackle of banknotes.
“Excellent! I knew two hot twinks like you would rake in donations,” he said, pleased with himself.
Irritation flared inside Sebastian. It wasn’t really fair, as none of this was Garreth’s fault (well, alright, in a way it was), but jealousy had been eating him alive ever since Garreth first mentioned the words kissing booth.
“I just want to go home and be done with this dreadful activity,” he grumbled. “It’s disheartening and bad for my well-being.”
Ominis turned towards him, looking indignated.
“Excuse me? You’ve had a queue since we opened, even your ex-girlfriend lining up, and you’re the one who’s suffering?”
Sebastian threw his hands up.
“It’s not like I’ve enjoyed watching people kiss you either!”
“Oh, forgive me,” Ominis sneered, “I didn’t realise it was so disgusting to see me experience affection.”
That wasn’t the problem at all; the problem was that Sebastian wanted to be the one giving Ominis affection. No one else, especially not Isaac Cooper. But he couldn’t exactly say that.
“I’m just saying this was a stupid idea from the start and we never should’ve agreed to it!” Sebastian burst out. “I mean, for example, I don’t understand how Cooper got to kiss you on the mouth!”
Ominis looked both surprised and hurt.
“I apologise, I didn’t realise I was so hideous that it shocked you to see someone actually wanting to kiss me.”
Sebastian’s jaw dropped. Fuck.
“What? That’s not what I meant! It’s just… I thought he went a bit overboard!”
“You’ve snogged about thirty girls today, but the moment I get my first kiss on the mouth, suddenly it’s an issue?”
Sebastian fell silent. Ominis did have a point.
“Garreth,” Ominis said sharply, reaching for his cane. “I need to take a walk. Can you help me?”
Garreth glanced helplessly at Sebastian, torn between refusing a blind man guidance, and betraying one of his best mates.
“Of course, Ominis,” he said at last, and Sebastian watched him lead his best friend away and disappear into the crowd. No matter how many times Sebastian swallowed, the lump in his throat wouldn’t budge.
Ominis didn’t come back. It was nearing four o’clock, when the whole charity event was due to close. Even Sebastian’s queue had started to dwindle, and he found himself slumped over the table with his chin in his hand. Every now and then a giggling first-year approached for a kiss on the cheek, but most people seemed to have got their fill of paid affection.
Time dragged painfully slowly, and Sebastian realised that as much as he hated watching Ominis kiss other people, it was still better having him beside him than imagining him wandering through the crowd, possibly looking for Isaac Cooper. The knot in his stomach tightened.
With only a few minutes left until four, Sebastian had completely given up hope that Ominis would come back. He sat behind the table, scrolling aimlessly on his phone and cursing himself for ever agreeing to this stupid situation. He’d have to see if he could find Ominis afterward and apologise.
Disagreements between them weren’t uncommon — they stood on opposite ends of the morality scale, after all — but they usually hashed things out almost immediately. Neither of them was the type to storm off in the middle of a fight without resolving it; Ominis was far too indignant to miss the opportunity to deliver a speech about moral choices, and Sebastian was far too hot-headed to leave before he felt placated or proven right.
Not knowing where Ominis was, and where they were standing in terms of their friendship, made uneasiness curl in Sebastian's gut.
Footsteps approached and he sighed inwardly. Could people not just go home? It was 3:54.
He looked up, ready to send away his next customer — sod Garreth, he’d raised more than enough money — when he froze. Anne was walking towards him, her arm linked with Ominis’. His sister had been working at a booth raising money for rare disease research, and he hadn’t seen her all day. Now she was heading straight for him with an expression he didn’t much like.
“Hello, dear brother,” Anne chirped as she drew closer.
“Hi,” Sebastian said warily, eyeing the banknotes she held. “I’m not kissing you, just so we’re clear. No matter how much you donate.”
Anne made a disgusted face.
“Why are you like this? Did Mum drop you on your head as a child?”
Sebastian rolled his eyes and avoided looking directly at Ominis, or as much as one could avoid those piercing grey eyes. He wasn’t entirely sure if Ominis was still angry with him.
“What do you want? I’m tired, cold and hungry. If you want to donate, just put the money in the box yourself. Without a kiss. Or maybe a kiss on the cheek.” Maybe he was being a bit rude, but he felt embarrassed and confused after his little fight with Ominis.
Anne regained that mysterious expression.
“It’s actually not me who’s making the donation,” she said.
Sebastian’s stomach dropped as Anne pressed the notes into Ominis’ hand. No way…
Ominis stepped forward and held out the money. His hand trembled slightly.
“I’d like to buy a kiss on the mouth,” he said, tilting his chin up. “Keep the change.”
Sebastian stared at him. Then at Anne, standing just behind him and grinning like mad. Then back at Ominis. His cheeks were bright red, but his eyes held that determined spark that Sebastian usually found ridiculously attractive. Today was no exception.
He cleared his throat, suddenly painfully aware of his dry, chapped lips. He fumbled for his lip balm and said hoarsely:
“That’s… a rather large donation."
Ominis seemed equally as nervous when he said:
"Well, I heard that generous tipping can have an impact on the ... provided service."
For a brief moment, Sebastian thought of Cooper, and the usual spark of jealousy flared up inside him. He swallowed it down, said:
"Well, I suppose it’s only fair you get your money’s worth.”
Ominis nodded. “Exactly. And I’ve heard the quality is quite high.”
“It will be,” Sebastian promised, and then they leaned in at the same time. Ominis’s cold nose bumped against Sebastian’s, they both let out a small laugh, and then—
Sebastian had kissed a dozen girls, and two boys, today. And none of it compared to Ominis. His lips were cold, a little chapped too, but it didn’t matter because it was Ominis, and now he was kissing only Sebastian and no one else, even if the angle — Sebastian half-leaning across the table — was a bit awkward.
Sebastian didn’t want to break the kiss, so he drew a breath through his nose and tilted his head further, deepening it, swallowing the surprised noise Ominis made. He thought about how Cooper had cupped Ominis’s face and jealousy flared again, made him do the same: hands framing Ominis’s cheeks and pulling him impossibly closer.
“Oi!” Anne complained, making them both jump. They broke apart with a resounding smack, and Sebastian hazily remembered how that sound had bothered him earlier. He had to force himself to drag his gaze away from Ominis’s flushed face and look at his sister.
“It’s a kiss on the mouth, not a bloody strip tease,” Anne groaned. “Ominis, you said you were only going to peck him.”
“Plans changed,” Ominis said absently.
“I noticed,” Anne muttered. “I’m traumatised for life.”
Sebastian hardly paid attention to his sister’s grumbling. He was too busy staring at Ominis’s lips, now slightly flushed, and trying to work out what the hell any of this meant. Why had Ominis donated money just to kiss him?
He cleared his throat. “So… was there a particular reason you wanted to donate?”
Ominis went scarlet. He licked his lips.
“I thought that… well, it’s for a good cause. And considering that was quite a bit more than five pounds, I was hoping it might include a little extra.”
“Oh yeah?” Sebastian’s heart went wild. He barely recognised his own voice when he said, “Like what?”
Ominis smiled tentatively. “Like… a dinner, perhaps. And maybe a few more kisses. It was quite a big note, after all.”
“I think we can arrange that,” Sebastian managed to say. His heart fluttered in his chest. He barely noticed Anne letting out a loud sigh and saying, “Thanks, Anne, for this brilliant plan, and sorry for traumatising me.” But Ominis laughed and said, “Thanks, Anne, for this brilliant plan,” so Sebastian rolled his eyes and dutifully added, “Sorry for traumatising you.”
Anne sighed dramatically and began to back away.
“I have a feeling you’ll traumatise me even more if I don’t leave now. I need to pack up my stall anyway. Thanks for finally getting your heads out of your arses, you two. And, you know… use protection.”
Now it was Sebastian’s turn to make a disgusted noise.
“Anne!”
His sister just grinned at him and walked off.
Left alone were Ominis and Sebastian. For a few seconds, neither of them knew what to say. Around them, the other students were starting to dismantle their stalls. Sebastian would also have to help Garreth take down the sign, fold up the cloth, and sweep up all the rose petals. But it was hard to think about any of that with Ominis standing in front of him, cheeks still flushed and a small smile on his lips.
“You know what?” Sebastian said, fishing the note Ominis had given him out of the cash box. “I think we should keep this as our pay for helping Garreth. And we can use it to go to a nice restaurant or something.”
He hesitated for just a second before adding, “Like… a date.”
Ominis looked extremely pleased as he reached for Sebastian’s hand.
“That sounds perfect.”
“Hey,” Sebastian said, leaning back and swirling the wine in his glass. “Why did you actually agree to that bloody booth?”
Ominis, who managed to look like temptation itself in a casual blazer and crisp white shirt, gave a crooked smile.
“Well, it wasn’t exactly a well-constructed plan,” he confessed. “I was just tired of pining after you, and I thought the kissing booth might… spark something. Maybe give one of us a kick up the arse.”
Sebastian chuckled a little. “Isaac Cooper was a paid actor, then,” he said, and Ominis rolled his eyes.
“Please,” he scoffed, “don’t even mention him. He kissed like a wet goldfish, all slobbery and uncoordinated. The only good thing that came from it was that it made you pull your head out of your arse, I guess.”
Sebastian couldn’t help the swell of smugness in his chest. Maybe Cooper wasn’t quite the catch he liked to think he was.
“And then Anne had to meddle, of course,” he sighed, fond despite himself. Ominis cleared his throat.
“I actually asked her,” he admitted, looking sheepish. “I didn’t know what else to do, so I told her everything. She was the one who suggested I go and buy a kiss myself.”
Sebastian blinked at him.
“Right, but why did you give me a tenner when a kiss only cost a fiver?”
Ominis shrugged and smiled again.
“Like I said. Seemed like good value for money. I did get a date out of it, didn’t I?”
Sebastian didn’t think twice before reaching across the table and taking Ominis’ hand.
“You’ll get plenty more dates out of it,” he promised, threading their fingers together. “And you won’t have to pay me for those.”
“Bold claim, considering we’re using my money to pay for this dinner,” Ominis said, raising an eyebrow. Sebastian scoffed and waved a hand.
“Minor detail.”
In the end, the kissing booth hadn’t been such a terrible idea after all. Not when it led to him sitting here opposite Ominis in a softly lit restaurant, sharing a dessert and another bottle of wine, talking and laughing and getting steadily tipsier. Garreth was going to be unbearable when he found out what his little scheme had started.
But it was worth it, Sebastian thought, when Ominis leaned across the table for another quick kiss — this time without paying for it.