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Lucanis knew this was coming, deep inside, ever since Camille had moved to Treviso to be with him. It was obvious the Crow’s life did not suit her. It never had, not truly. She had never been a woman for shadows and secrets; after years of living in the Necropolis she belonged in the sunlight, in places where things grew.
And now she stood in front of Caterina’s desk—no, his desk now—and her voice broke as she uttered the words Lucanis had feared.
“We met at the worst of times, Lucanis, yet we saw the best in each other. I saw someone who could be more than what they were... who could leave it all behind and build something new. But you haven’t. You’re still in that world, and I…” She paused, her breath shaky. “I cannot stay in it anymore.”
His heart stuttered.
She’s leaving. You knew it all along. You just didn’t want to admit it.
Lucanis ignored Spite but the ache of the truth gnawed at him. He looked at Camille, searching her face for any hint that she might change her mind. “Camille... must you go?”
You must stop her!
Camille stared through him, the way she always did when she knew Spite was speaking.
“Spite, enough,” she said, traces of magic whispering through her voice. “This is about Lucanis, not you.”
At her words, Lucanis felt Spite still within his mind.
“Is this about—” He regretted the words the moment they left his mouth.
Camille shook her head in disbelief. “Not everything revolves around you Dellamortes.”
“I had to ask. I know you have been close, spending time with him.”
“He’s a friend,” she protested. “One that I needed. How is that any different from all the letters you receive from Minrathous?”
That cut deep. He knew his accusations were not fair but even then a small seed of doubt lingered in his chest. Lucanis rose from the chair and walked towards her, kneeling down as he took one hand in his.
“I can leave the Crows,” he said. “I will. If that’s what you want…”
Camille’s face tightened but her eyes softened. “You will never truly leave. You will always be one of them and you could not walk away any more than I could give away my magic.” Her voice began to shake and tears formed in her eyes. Lucanis resisted the urge to stand and wipe them away. “I do not know how to live with that anymore, Lucanis. You’re always a step away, a shadow of someone I used to know.”
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, the words feeling like they might choke him but they were all he could give her. “If you must go?”
“I have to.”
“I love you, Camille.” The words came out more desperate than he meant. “And I always will.”
“I know,” she whispered, voice trembling as she turned away.
She did not look back again as the door clicked softly shut behind her.
He had been hearing rumours all week, the mutterings around the Crows that she was leaving. Lucanis had been locked in his study since then, refusing to speak with any except Viago, and Illario figured there must be some truth to the matter.
Illario should have worried for his cousin, perhaps even pried open that door and tried to talk sense into him. But every rational thought fled under the pounding rush in his chest.
He had to find her before she left without hearing him say goodbye.
Moving quickly through the corridors, he made his way toward the wing where her chambers sat tucked away, tracing footsteps he knew too well. He had approached a dozen times with words ready on his tongue but never knocked.
Tonight he didn’t intend to hesitate.
But as he turned the last corner, he stopped short. Teia stood guard outside the door, arms folded over her chest, and she did not look surprised at his presence.
“No, Illario. This is not appropriate.”
“Please, Teia, I have to speak with her,” Illario pleaded.
“You Dellamortes have caused her enough heartbreak. She does not need this turmoil.”
“Please, Teia.” His voice cracked despite his effort to control it. “Just one moment. I have to…”
“You know she hates goodbyes,” Teia counselled.
“So do I.” His voice was barely a whisper. “But I can’t let her vanish without hearing me out. Without… without telling her what she deserves to hear.”
By some miracle, Teia stepped aside and Illario slipped inside before she could change her mind.
The chambers were tidy and a travelling chest sat neatly packed on the rug. Camille stood by the window, staring at the garden outside, as though she were already halfway miles away.
She didn’t turn at first. “So you’ve heard.”
Illario swallowed. “Everyone has heard. But I needed to hear it from you.”
“I cannot stay. I tried for Lucanis but this life,” she shook her head, “I cannot.”
He stepped closer. “Then let me come with you.”
“Illario—”
“I will go. I’ll leave the Crows behind. All of it. For you.”
“You know…” She let out a shaky breath. “That is what Lucanis promised too.”
Illario flinched.
Camille continued. “Neither of you can. You were born into this life. Shaped by it. Leaving the Crows is not just walking out a door. It is killing parts of yourselves you don’t even recognise yet.”
He took another step until he stood directly before her.
“Maybe he couldn’t,” Illario stated. “But I can. For you, I can.”
She lifted a hand but faltered halfway, so he reached out and took her fingers in his. He lifted her hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to her palm.
“Let me try,” he whispered. “Please.”
Camille’s breath caught and Illario’s keen eyes noted her free hand curled at her side, nails biting into her palm.
“Illario…” Her voice broke. “I am leaving alone.”
She lingered a moment then pulled her hand free.