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Struck with guilt, one would spiral until they lose sense of place. But no matter how agile, you cannot fool the heavy consequences of your actions, it will catch upon you.
Caitlyn was a woman of duty, core of her being was rooted to be a part of something. Something her fancy name would not matter. A success, a purpose she could call her own.
Officer Kiramman, that's what she aimed for. But the arrow of destiny was rather playful, leading to a path paved with rotting bones of loved ones whom she've lost. They would crack under her heavy steps, grief was only growing taller with each.
She wanted to silence every glimpse of laughter in the world. Wash away all colors and corrupt the land under her feet. The world had turned upside down and nothing in life seemed to matter.
"Your mother will have justice."
That was the weak thread she was hanging by. Justice. But was she ready to be justified as ruthless? Wouldn't her mistakes swallow her soul whole as well? Was it worth to seek and run for one thing that cannot promise you any peace at the end of the day?
Ambessa's fist knocked her down and brought Caitlyn back to reality. She gasped for air as trembling knees pinned her to the ground.
"A hazey mind will be nothing but your end on the battle. You shouldn't think, Kiramman. Once you set your foot in front of your enemy" she pointed to the spear, "this is all you have. Act."
Caitlyn catched a glimpse of her reflection on the face of the glorious Noxus spear. Her thin brows were knit together tensely, sweat dripped from her forehead and chapped lips were pressed shut together. Everytime she heard "Kiramman" through Ambessa's thick voice, it was a reminder to lock in. To fight. For a brief moment she heard Vi's gentle whisper filling in her ear "Cait."
She quickly brushed it away, fixing her belt to keep her hands busy. Vi is not here, she won't be here. Caitlyn wasn't the one to mourn, as if everything is not her own doing. Consequences of her actions were clenching through her steps to pull her down. Oh, if only she could see her again. They kept training until late in the afternoon. Then, Caitlyn was left with aching limbs and bruises to take care of.
It was rare of her to lead a night watch, mostly because there were bigger hassles to handle. But she knew, heard, the uncontrolled brutality enforces pushed down in the dark, tight walls of the lanes.
"A commander should not bother with such insignificant parasites. Your men will handle them just fine." Ambessa said.
So Caitlyn definitely had to go and hold them accountable, investigating the reason for "rioting Zaunites" and how enforcers handle them. She did not trust Ambessa. But she was daft enough to hold the title she gave in a moment of foolishness. The cape that draped over her shoulders felt heavy , but never as heavy as knowing she was making wromg choices.
This couldn't go on. People of Zaun were choking on shimmer while their lives were terrorized by gangs under Silco. And now, they were paying the price of a few political decisions the Council didn't even bother to think through. How could people whose number is less than someone's fingers could decide for nations? If protecting the greater good meant Caitlyn to be the monster, she would hold the blame. Her sole presence was the one thing stopping Ambessa compeletely destroying both sides to reach Hextech. Not that she was scared of Caitlyn, no. But even poisoned with greed, Ambessa acknowledged the impact of allience. War meant to lose.
Did Caitlyn have anything else to lose?
Jayce was spiraling around as equal wrong decisions, if not worse. Her father acted like a lifeless doll, mostly staring into the blank walls like he was in a trans. He was mostly drugged anyways, doctors kept saying he needed time. Well, time was passing wasn't it? Caitlyn was spending her days working, fighting, orginizing, making out. Every night, Maddie's touch left her curled with guilt. Caitlyn didn't know what she exactly felt towards her and did not care enough to figure it out. Presence of someone was what she needed and Maddie was able to provide. But no matter how long Caitlyn kept her suffering soul busy, the hole her mother left in her chest did not get filled. She could try to cram any worldy matter into it but the ghost of her dearest strangled every breath she took.
She longed to be held in Vi's arms. To be secured, safe and embraced.
Shoutings across the street brought her back to reality. Her right hand quickly reached the hold of her riffle, just in case. She raised the other to stop enforcers.
"Wait for my sign."
It seemed like a casual street fight. A big and burly guy had pushed someone on the ground. The other held a bottle in her hand, a black leather jacket draping off of her shoulders. Caitlyn recognized her voice.
"Now, why the fuck am I not getting my money?"
"Because you lost! Get your head together and leave my pit, punk."
She quickly got up from the ground and grabbed the collar of the guy, looking directly into his face. Caitlyn couldn't believe how greasy and messy Vi's now black hair looked, almost like she covered herself up in actual engine oil.
She spat on the guy's face.
"I know you still owe me from yesterday. Plus, what's thrown in the pit gets to be mine- don't fucking play with me, bastard."
He tried to escape her hand but it was useless. Then a strong figure showed up from the distance and held Vi's shoulder.
"Let's go, Vi. I'll handle that later."
After a moment of hesitation, Vi punched the guy in the face, leaving him with a bloody nose and leaned on the wall.
"I'll be back for the paycheck." She said after wiping her bloody knuckles to the side of her pants.
Caitlyn did not say a word and watched her walk away with the other guy. Then, she turned to the officers.
"You go to the other route and continue the night watch. I am done for today."
"Yes, commander."
After they left, Caitlyn started walking fastly to the direction Vi went. Though, afraid of being noticed she kept her head low and distance fair.
"Loris... Stop walking so fast will you?"
"Can you believe he tried to scam me? That little bastard- I won the match!"
"No, Vi. You lost."
She teasingly pushed his arm, the movement causing her steps to fumble into each other.
"I won... I never lose a fight."
"Sure, Vi."
Caitlyn watched Vi to lose balance and tightly grab the bars of the stairs. The man reached to hold her quickly but Vi pushed him away.
"Fuck off."
With a sigh, Loris let go of her and turned around. Caitlyn's gaze followed her until Vi tripped on the stairs for one last time and got inside a sketchy apartment.
She wanted to follow her inside.
Without giving it much of a thought, she found her hand resting on the door knob. A quick push with her shoulder was enough to break in.
A hand reached from dark and slammed her on the wall. Vi pressed the back of her arm on her throat, tightly grabbing the riffle under the cape with the other hand.
Their eyes met.
Caitlyn's deep dark blues searched the familiar softness but met with stiff, cold looks of the other instead. Vi's brows came closer, squinting as if she could not tell who she is.
"Didn't think you were breaking and entering type."
Caitlyn did not care enough to try to push her arm that's still pressuring on her throat. Annoyingly calm, she took a deep breath.
"Night watch. Keeping the peace and order."
Vi let go, avoiding to meet her gaze.
"So, terrorizing our home."
She reached for the almost empty bottle on the counter. Bitter taste of alcohol rested on her tongue, still not enough to end the stinging feeling. /Caitlyn was here./ Of course she was. All of a sudden, Vi could feel all her wounds, aching muscles along with the sharper smell of the blood.
"Pitfighting, huh?" She said and sat on the bed.
The warehouse was half-lit by a single flickering lamp, shadows stretching long over concrete and rusted metal. Her eyes followed the day counting scratches on the wall. Caitlyn swallowed.
This was where Vi lived now.
"You need to leave, Caitlyn." Vi said, but it came out rougher, more desperate than she wanted. Caitlyn could see blood stains on her tight wrappings around the chest and a bruise painfully settled on her cheek.
"We need to talk."
"Fuck you."
Caitlyn stood up and stepped towards her. Despite every inch of her body stinging with fear that she is going to regret her actions later, she reached to hold her hand.
Vi pulled off sharply.
"You think you can just walk back into my life? After everything?!" she snapped, finally stopping to avoid her eyes since the moment she came. Caitlyn's lips parted hesitantly.
"I wanted to find you. Talk. Fix."
"I have nothing to talk with you. Not with someone like you."
"Oh. Like me? Would you bother to eleborate?" Caitlyn said, anger tightening her chest as she crossed her arms.
"Don't you- ugh! I have seen your nasty dictator shit propaganda! People are fucking dying under here, kids are shitting their pants when your men are on watch. There are at least hundreds of Zaunites that want your dead body!"
"I am not the one to blame for all your misfortunes-"
"Oh please!" Vi screamed. She pointed Caitlyn's chest with her tremblibg finger.
"You are a part of this. You always have. It doesn't matter if you are too fucking selfish to see. "
"You yourself put a badge on. You know it means a chance to fix-"
"Fix what? Years of opression? You hunted me down in the middle of the night to whisper sweet nothings in my ear?" Vi's voice broke viciously through hers. "You left me in that pit. You aimed your gun at a child."
Caitlyn's jaw tightened. "I would never hurt her. I don't miss."
"You're trained to. " Vi spat. "You were going to. Jinx was knocked down. You didn't need to shoot."
"You told me to shoot if I see a chance-"
"A child, Caitlyn." She looked away. Vi doubted if Caitlyn pushed any longer will she find her in her arms.
"Violet." There it was. That sweet, dangerous call.
"I know I need to fix what has been done. But I can't do it without you."
Vi’s breath hitched at the touch—gentle, precise, maddeningly familiar. Caitlyn’s fingers ghosted along her cheekbone like she still had the right, like nothing had fractured between them, like Vi wasn’t held together by spite.
"We made a good team."
For a moment for one tiny, treacherous second Vi let it happen. Because she remembered.
The way Caitlyn used to look at her, like she was untouchable, yet desired. Something other than a child grown from Zaun's cluttered ground. The way Vi trusted her so desperately. Their hands clutched together like hers won't ever break again.
She also remembered Caitlyn's riffle aiming to a child. Zaunites growing up in cells. Kids choking. Jinx flinching as Caitlyn's grip tightened on the trigger. Carving lines on a wall every night in her cell, counting hours bleeding on the ground.
Vi held her breath. She wanted to melt into the touch she craved since she was left in that pit. Her stomach crumbled. When Caitlyn leaned in, Vi's body betrayed her for the warmth she offered. She didn't want to let go. Her aching hands found Caitlyn's hips without even realizing. Their bodies sinked into each other even more.
Caitlyn could feel her heart drumming in her ears. She leaned in deeper.
"Don't." Vi's voice cracked. She swallowed as a sharp, twisting pain shot through her ribs. Caitlyn reached again, more hesitant this time. Vi took a step back because if she let her touch again, she wasn't sure she'd be able to walk away.
Every deeply instinct battled in her chest. Every unique piece of her. The woman who loved Caitlyn. The sister who lost Powder. The orphan who knew what a badge stands for in the Undercity. Vander's progidy, Zaun's violent child. The fighter who fought nail and tooth her way out to freedom.
"I can't stand for this anymore."
"You know we can fix it. There is a chance- Vi, we don't have to choose sides." Caitlyn choked out, desperate, raw.
"That's the thing, cupcake. We already did."
She looked at Caitlyn, genuine this time. Silence pressed on them. Guilt, regret, a gut aching longing for each other. Vi was not facing an enemy. But she was not salvation either.
But oh, how tempting her parted lips looked.
"You need to leave. Before I do something we'll both regret."