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A young girl hunches her shoulders as she walks to school, looking as if the world were about to fall apart at any moment. But still, her friend is approaching. Not wanting to worry them, she raises a hand and forces a smile.
"Good morning."
It's quiet, with a hint of lethargy to it. But to those who only spared half of their attention, they wouldn't have noticed the dark shadow hanging over the first greeting of the day.
And all of a sudden, the same words cut through the air for what seems to be the dozenth time.
"Alright, Tachibana-kun!" Neji's voice immediately shatters the setting Kisa has set. "One more time!"
"Yes!"
Kisa runs back to where she first started. After a mere ten seconds, she reemerges again—only this time—as someone completely different.
An exhausted-looking young man clumsily emerges from his tent, having gotten the exact opposite of a good sleep last night. Clearly, it's affecting him. And just as he shoulders the bayonet over his shoulder, his superior walks by.
Unfortunately, as a mere subordinate, he can't afford to be tardy. Mustering all of his energy, he stands up straight, raising his hand in a salute.
"Good morning, sir!"
It's loud, maybe a little too loud.
"...I'm feeling cold, somehow."
A Quartz student of the 78th term wraps his arms over himself, shivering. Fumi couldn't blame him.
"Alright, Tachibana. One more time!"
"Again?!?!"
Suzu cries out in a mix of outrage and befuddlement. But Kisa doesn't object, immediately going back to where she started.
"Oi..." More than irritation, Fumi hears the tension in Mitsuki's voice. "How much longer are they going to do this for?"
Beside him, Kai's brows have furrowed into an uncharacteristically deep frown, clearly troubled.
It's been ages, and for whatever reason, Neji hasn't shown any signs of stopping this weird, twisted game of his. The longer it went on, the further Quartz's mood devolved into something that felt like...apprehension.
Everyone felt it. The unsettling obsession of creation, and the approaching destruction that came with it.
And what really terrified them wasn't Neji's ruthless desire to continue, no.
It was Kisa.
A frazzled boy dashes out on the stage. It looked as if he'd lost something, with the way he was frantically searching around his person. As he pats his pockets in an attempt to find it, his friend comes over to greet him good morning. To that, he responds:
"Yeah, yeah. Good morning!"
He's not in a good mood, and delivers his greeting with more agitation than he should've.
"That's amazing." A senior—Fumi's fellow classmate—mumbles, astounded. "He's crazy good to be able to come up with so many variations on the spot."
"Crazy good, huh...?"
Fumi has talent. He's more aware of it than anyone else, knows that with the extraordinary gift bestowed upon him, the heights he could achieve should he go wild were up to the sky.
Then, what does that make Kisa? If Fumi is a talented human being, then....
"All right, I'd like you to do another take of "Good morning," if you would."
Fumi holds out a hand in an attempt to stop him. "Hey, Kuro—"
"Right."
Again.
Again. And again. And again.
'Why won't you stop?'
Unable to succeed in stopping them, Fumi watches wordlessly as Kisa willingly returns to the same spot, and thinks back to when he first saw her at the auditions.
It was an encounter so strange, so magically one-sided, that just thinking about it made him want to laugh.
'That's...a girl?' was his first thought when he saw her dance, her body clearly unaccustomed to performing the role of a "boy," and thus, gave away her true identity to the one person who knew about such differences better than anyone else in the room.
Initially, it confused him greatly to see a female take the entrance examinations to Univeil, an all-boys school. By all means, she should not have made it past the screening gate. She should not have been here.
However, that confusion was quickly followed by excitement.
Yes, for the first time since Fumi had torn his wings apart for Quartz's sake, he'd felt excited. Soon, his heart began to be moved by her every action, by her desire to reach greater heights, and watched over her with a fervour that surprised even him. He wanted to see just what she was capable of, to see her grow and shine as she polished her talent.
But not like this.
A middle-aged man—worn from life's troubles—walks slowly as he heads for work. The days continue in an endless cycle of monochrome shades, and he could no longer remember what it felt like to be free.
"Good morning."
It made one feel depressed just listening to it. But the man himself didn't seem to care and continued to give out bland greetings to his co-workers.
Fumi starts unconsciously biting his lips. To his side, he sees that Sou isn't doing any better than he is. His eyes are filled with frustration and worry for his childhood friend, but he's unsure of how to stop it, so all Sou can do is sit back and watch with the expression of a man approaching an impending deadline.
"Hm, good, good..."
And just as everyone thought Neji was finally going to call it quits...
"Hm, hm. Okay, again."
The atmosphere was slowly growing tense. Even Otori—who was always eager to show the best of himself at all times—couldn't quite hide his growing unsettlement.
And yet, Kisa does not falter.
"Okay."
That simply made it worse.
Tension is building up, but the sources themselves were too preoccupied with their desire to perform and create, so they didn't notice it at all.
It felt as if the bubble would soon pop and disappear.
"Hey, is that normal?" A Quartz student unconsciously grips the hem of his tracksuit. "I mean, it's cool and all..."
Really, it was so simple. All Kisa had to do was say that she's had enough. She was not obliged to push herself further for someone else's whims, nor force herself to continue pursuing something without a clear end goal.
But that's the problem.
Kisa does not want to stop.
A young girl bounces onto the stage, footsteps thundering against the wooden beams. She's practically vibrating with excitement; maybe something good happened. Unable to contain her frenzied energy, she calls out to her friend while skipping.
"Gooooood morning!!!"
There's a sense of hysteria to her words. This time, Fumi's not sure if it's part of the act.
Who's the one pushing who here? Was it Neji and his endless expectations of her?
"One more time, if you would, Tachibana!"
Or was it Kisa, who simply did not know when to stop when it came to the stage?
"Yes!"
It should be beautiful. It should be captivating. Fumi watches as Kisa dips her fingers into the world's colours and uses them to paint over her face, creating skins and skins of human expressions. She layers them onto herself one by one in a fervor similar to an artist unbound and free from any restrictions, a luxury not given to many.
How many more faces shall she make today?
Kisa goes back to her spot. People watch with bated breath, expectant, wondering what kind of person she shall become next onstage.
She lingers in her spot, eyes closed as she ponders. She must have realized that there's something she's missing, and Fumi hopes that she'll finally call it quits and realize the true nature of Neji's repeated requests.
Ten seconds pass.
And then it takes longer.'
'Wait, something's not right.'
Kisa's eyes open, but she doesn't move. She simply stares, and stares. Stares at the floor with a ghastly, detached look as if she were boring her eyes into a being no one else could see. And maybe she is—looking for a ghost, that is. Her ghost.
The rest of Quartz watches on as she continues to stand there. The vibrant figure of Kisa, which was overflowing with colour, is now replaced with a forlorn child, lost and fragile.
And then, Fumi sees it. He sees Kisa dig her hands into her flesh and skin in an attempt to peel away the coloured masks she'd layered onto herself in a visceral, desperate attempt to regain the true "Kisa".
Kisa, the girl. Not the boy.
Fumi's hands are cold—no, utterly freezing. He could barely move them. And his limbs—which were always thrumming with life—feel as if they're being turned to stone from a curse. A weight presses down onto his chest and crushes it inwards like a cage made from nylon blends.
"..."
He's terrified for her.
"Kisa."
'Kisa is a hardworking girl. Her cheeks puff up when she eats rakugan, and she always takes the time to savour the sweetness. She has an unconscious preference for teal colours. Sometimes, the way she eats her food with such gusto reminds him of a hamster stuffing its cheeks. She actually really likes dressing up, and always casts longing gazes at everyone's costumes, both Jack's and Jeanne's.'
'Kisa is incredibly observant, always watching those around her and responding to them in kind. Her ever-growing love for theater makes her a curious soul ready to accept any and all challenges thrown at her. She is patient with others, and yet, sometimes it feels as if she's rushing forward to the stage at a speed that scares even him, while remaining enchanting all the same. And whenever she says "Good morning," she earnestly looks at people straight in the eyes while replying to them.'
All of that and more is what makes her "Kisa Tachibana".
"Morning there."
'So please, say good morning to me too. The way you always do.'
"Ah..."
Kisa freezes, looking as if a bucket of cold water had been dumped over her, startling her awake.
'It's alright. It's okay.'
"Well?" Fumi tilts his head playfully, masking the unease that had crept into his bones, gently urging her to answer back. "Your reply?"
"Good...morning!" There was a slight crack to her voice. But it was, without a doubt, a voice that belonged to Kisa.
And so, everyone learned how to breathe again.
✧
It's dinnertime for Quartz, so Fumi walks through the wine-lit hallways of the hotel to head to the cafeteria to grab some food. But as he turns the corner, he spots Neji idling around a few feet ahead and calls out to him.
"Good work today, Kuro. Also..."
Neji spins around towards him in an exaggerated fashion. For some reason, he was wearing a pair of pyjamas despite it still being hours away from bedtime.
"Are you planning on wearing that to dinner?"
"Why, yes, I am!" Enthusiastically, Neji strikes a pose with a flawless prose and dexterity that would make one doubt if he really spent most of his time holed up in his office. But Fumi knew better. "Even if people mock me for my choices, even if they throw their chicken bones and celery at me, I shall choose to be myself, first and foremost!"
Fumi eyes the tuna patterns decorated on the flappy fabric of his pyjamas, feeling slightly nostalgic. "No one's going to throw their food at you, Kuro. Wearing whatever you want is fine; it's not like we're at school. But..." He chews on his words for a bit before breaking out into a huge, cattish grin, as he pulls Neji over by the hand.
"Kyaaa~! F-Fumi, you mustn't! Not in public, they'll see...!"
"That's fine, isn't it? I think people could use a good show, so why not dance with me till morning?" His tone is light, but his scarlet eyes gleam with an intensity that makes it seem as if he really was ready to pull Neji along for a dance off for the rest of the night.
Neji dramatically squeals as Fumi dips him by the waist. "I'm a more fragile person than I look, Fumi! I couldn't possibly keep up with you and your monstrous stamina—!"
"It's scary, right? Having to keep up with other people's expectations."
Fumi spins Neji lightly, humming.
"Kisa seemed to do alarmingly well in that regard. I'm sure that if I asked him instead, he'd say yes anyway, even knowing he'd drop dead when morning came."
Neji has steadily grown quieter, so Fumi stops spinning him. Slowly, he pulls him back up on his feet and steadies him on the ground.
He's fastened Neji back onto the lifeboat, so all Fumi can do now is hope that it'll be enough to keep him afloat, for the time being.
"Still, Kisa's a blooming young talent. I'm sure the day will come when he'll finally be ready to keep up with the rest of us."
Neji adjusts his glasses, peering at Fumi curiously. He then asks in a tone too quiet for him, "...You're not asking me to stop?"
Fumi smiles, but doesn't say anything.
To be honest, a part of him believes that Kisa is partially to blame here. Like how all humans drink water when they're thirsty, or crave food when they're hungry, there's always a natural, built-in response in them for everything, for the sake of self-preservation.
Kisa doesn't seem to have that same sense of self-preservation. At least, not when it comes to the stage.
"Well, whatever happens, I'll be there for him."
If Kisa won't put a stop to the brakes, then he'll just have to do it for her.
'And then there's Kuro.'
Neji is another problem by itself. Fumi understands, but he also doesn't. Or rather, he doesn't understand enough.
"C'mon, it's dinner time." Fumi heads on first, leaving Neji behind. "I'm going even if you're not."
"Yes, yes, Princess Fumi." Neji fakes a pout, cheeks puffed up and eyes rimmed with crocodile tears behind his glasses as he massages his back like an old man. "There goes her Royal Highness, leaving me behind..."
"I heard they're having grilled meat."
"And so the time comes for redemption! I'll definitely get my meat, just you wait! I'll fight anyone to the death if they take away my beloved juicy, fantastic, muscled, gorgeous, very delicious meat away from me!"
For today, Fumi puts the topic to rest. Hoping that in the far future, something will change for the better, without having it be at the expense of someone else.