Chapter Text
"Gooood morning Hawkins! This is Rockin' Robin with your morning commute tunes. I've got the perfect song to get your day started on the right track."
Steve plays a laughing track. Then a sad trumpet noise.
"Okay, okay, that's my only corny pun for today, I swear. Enjoy this song from The Cure's 1985 album The Head on the Door, Close to Me!"
Robin plays the song, and the red "Live on Air" light turns off.
"This song better be good Byers, our ratings are down and I cannot lose another job. In fact, it's a miracle me and Robin still have this one!" Steve says as he emerges from the radio booth.
"Anything by The Cure is good. Jonathan will back me up on that. And stop taking your stress out on me! It's not my fault that Vecna's aftermath caused the station to be down for a whole month."
"Yeah Steve, leave the kid alone. We need his music taste."
Leave it to Robin to back me up. Ever since me and Robin started hanging out a few months ago, I've been coming to the Squawk with Dustin on most Saturday mornings. Mike sleeps in until noon because he stays up all night writing and Lucas usually hangs out with Max. So, me, Dustin, Robin, and Steve have formed a little group. Most of our morning conversations consist of Steve complaining about his dating failures (although, he's been going strong with this one girl lately, who he refuses to say anything about) and all of us teasing each other. Robin comes and sits next to me.
"Soooooo how're things going with Wheeler?"
Robin unfortunately looks to be more interested in my love life than Steve's this morning.
"It would be going better if he didn't stay up all night writing and then not answering my calls in the morning cause he overslept again. I've been reading his stuff, and it's really good, but I feel like he's in another world half the time."
Don't get me wrong, dating Mike these last couple months has been great, but he can still be a bit clueless sometimes.
"It's true! He missed Hellfire last week too. Claims he has a ton of homework but still has a C in Spanish due to missing assignments." Dustin chimes in. In honor of Eddie, who has now been somewhat redeemed in the eyes of Hawkins, Dustin restarted the Hellfire Club back in January. I was happy to finally be playing D&D again, especially since I was in California for the first Hellfire. If you can't tell, Dustin takes it very seriously.
"Sounds like we need to give Wheeler a reality check."
Robin abruptly stands up.
"Ohhh I have the best idea. Harrington, you know how you used to talk about all those prank wars you did in high school?"
"Yeah, but how is that relevant to..."
Dustin breaks out into a grin and interrupts, "A prank war! On Mike! Robin, you are a genius."
"Is this really the best idea? I mean, isn't a bit immature?" I say.
"Of course! But isn't that just Wheeler needs? He can be so much like Nance sometimes, all work work work."
Robin's right, Mike has been really focused on working lately. News outlets have come up with their own Hawkin's horror stories about the events that have gone down in Hawkins, but Mike and Nancy have sworn to make an accurate story. Nancy puts together the information through interviews, old papers, and of course what we've all experienced. Mike puts everything together by writing it into one big story of Hawkins. It's a really cool project, but while Nancy has actually been better about not throwing herself into work, Mike has not.
"Okay, but we're doing this together. There is no way I can pull this off alone. I have no idea where to even start."
"You've come to the right place. If there's anything that Steve 'The Hair' Harrington can do, it's pranks."
"You'd think he would have matured more."
"I have matured Robin!" He throws one of the pillows from the couch at Robin. "Excuse me for wanting to have a little bit of fun with my life."
Robin smirks before picking up the pillow she was just hit with and throwing it back at Steve. The both of them look very much like they're about to start a pillow fight. This plan is already bringing out everyone's super mature personality.
"Ohhh you are so..."
Dustin jumps between Robin and Steve.
"Guys, let's not waste the mischievous energy on each other when we could be plotting pranks for Mike."
"You've got a point, Henderson." Robin dramatically announces, "Let operation 'Bring Wheeler Back To The Fun' commence!"
...
The four of us are standing around a giant paper with a list of all the possible pranks we could do on Mike.
"Some of these are funny, but the point isn't to be mean guys. I'd rather my boyfriend not freak out, this is supposed to cheer him up."
"But Willllll, wouldn't it be so fun to spray him with Farrah Fawcett Spray?"
"Maybe for you Dustin."
"Not maybe, it would be fun for me."
"I think we should revisit some of my ideas. AKA 'Steve's Master List of Superior Pranks'"
I look at the paper:
STEVE'S MASTER LIST OF SUPERIOR PRANKS
1. Replace shampoo with bright orange hair dye
2. Hide a fake snake in pillow
3. Make him solve a puzzle with a piece missing
4. Put balloons in his room
5. Tape random drawings over his windows
6. ???
"Actually, I kinda like the idea of filling his room with balloons."
"OH and we could put confetti in his shoes of something!"
"Are we throwing him a birthday party?"
"No Steve, but what better to cheer Wheeler up than party vibes?"
Robin starts a new list:
PLAN BRING WHEELER BACK TO THE DARK (FUN) SIDE
1. Fill his room with party balloons.
She looks up at us, "What else?"
She finishes the list as we shout ideas at each other, eventually leading to five more pranks:
2. Put confetti in his shoes.
3. Fill his backpack with D&D dice.
4. Put an orange mohawk wig on his bike.
5. Steal all his D&D miniatures and bring them to the Squawk.
6. Get the rest of the party and set up the strangest campaign known to man.
"I actually kinda love this plan."
"Well, what are we waiting for then?"
...
We put our plan into action. I get Mike on the phone (finally) and tell him that everyone's meeting at the Squawk tomorrow to hang out. He's staying the night at Lucas', so he'll come home tommorow morning to a fun surprise.
The four of us will set up the pranks.