Chapter Text
It was a cold winter night. Juhoon was sitting there in the living room, a cup of warm tea in his hands patiently waiting for his roommate and best friend, Martin, to come home. He had promised him that they'd watch his favourite movie tonight together, but he's late... like how he always is lately.
Juhoon had no idea he had this much feelings towards the taller boy. He never intended for them to form, but it kinda just happened... and his heart aches.
Why now? I known Martin my whole life, so why now?
Was it because of how Martin got super busy lately and Juhoon had some time alone (without him) that it allowed his mind to have the space to acutally think of this?
There's no lie that these two were always attached to the hip since middle school. Best friends since then and inseparable. Martin being the bright one that talks a lot and Juhoon being the quiet one that gladly listens.
Why do I miss him this much? Do best friends miss each other this way...? It can't be... something is really wrong with me.
Juhoon is spiraling. He hasn't been seeing Martin much lately, the taller boy claiming he's busy now with uni's projects alongside his own projects as well. Martin is a music major and he's been passionate about it since middle school. On the other hand, Juhoon is an IT major, but he's also on the basketball team, and played football as a kid.
Juhoon is also a music lover, he plays many instruments and that's something him and Martin bonded over. Martin loves Juhoon's nerdy but still very cool vibe alongside his artistic one. While Martin himself is not sporty at all, but still Juhoon can't help but be absolutely amazed by his music abilities, claiming he's gonna be world wide famous very soon.
Juhoon reached for his phone. 12:07 AM. Still nothing from Martin. He's definitely upset, but is it reasonable to be this upset because your best friend got busy with his projects that he forgot their plans? He's not sure, but it still doesn't change the fact that he's upset.
Juhoon sighs and decides to go to bed, after all he does have morning classes tomorrow and he had waited long enough.
Of course he's unable to sleep, so he lays there wide awake staring at the window. He's never been able to sleep when Martin is not home yet.
Suddenly, he hears the sound of keys twisting. Martin is finally here.
He could hear him hurriedly hanging his coat and taking his shoes off. He hears fast yet soft footsteps approaching his room. A faint knock, but Juhoon is too upset to speak up so he just says nothing.
Martin thought that maybe Juhoon fell asleep, but he still wanted to see him, so he opens the door slowly to find Juhoon laying there awake.
"You're awake? I thought you were sleeping since you didn't say anything when I knocked. " Martin says in an almost whisper.
Juhoon doesn't look his way, he can't. "I don't feel like talking." He states flatly.
Martin feels his heart sink. He knows it's his fault, he knows he fucked up, he knows the older is upset with him and rightfully so.
"Jju- I... I'm really sorry. I swear I tried to finish earlier, but this project is truly taking up my time and sanity as well. I'm just sor-"
Martin is cut off.
"I don't feel like talking." Juhoon says again, same tone.
Martin feels his heart sink again. He has never seen Juhoon this upset with him and it's killing him. It was already killing him being this busy which lead to him being way from the older boy, he missed him so much, way more than he'll ever admit, way more than he's ready to explore. But still, he can't let him stay this upset, it physically harmed him.
Martin approached the older's bed, slowly with motivation. He's been carrying so much lately. So much and he wasn't able to tell Juhoon, because that's the level to which he was busy.
Martin approached with a heavy aching heart. His project wasn't going so well. This particular group project was a disaster from the beginning.
"Jju... please." Martin said in a whisper as he sat down. Heart so heavy, he thinks he might cry. Martin doesn't cry.
Juhoon's expression changes.
Why does Martin sound like he's about to cry...
Despite Juhoon still being upset, but he couldn't ignore the boy in front of him. He was always protective over Martin.
"Did something happen?" Juhoon asked immediately.
Martin's head shots up. He noticed how Juhoon's entire vibe changed.
"I..." Martin started and sighed. "You have no head how stressed I am. We are supposed to be done with this project, which is why I suggested for us to watch something tonight, to make it up to you and well...I missed you haha-" Martin spoke and laughed lightly scratching the back of his neck. "But now, our professor heard our track and absolutely butchered us, and it's nearing the end of the semester and I just- I don't know what to do! I'm so upset with myself, I have lost any confidence I had left in myself and my abilities... fuck" the last part came with a choke.
Martin is crying...
Juhoon immediately held the boy's face firm. "Don't you ever let anyone shake your confidence, you hear me?" He said firmly. "So what if this professor doesn't like it? He can suck it!" Juhoon's gaze is cold, not towards the taller, but towards the source of the taller's stress.
Martin's eyes were wet, his chest tight and feeling like he's gonna throw up. More tears continue to fall.
Juhoon brings his arms around the taller's shoulder, hugging him. Martin wraps his arms around his waist, sinking into the older's warmth, completely burrying his face in the crock of his neck. Already feeling calm and better.
"I missed you so much." Martin said softly and defeated. It stings Juhoon's heart.
Do best friends speak like that to each other...?
"I missed you too." Juhoon's admits. "Way more than I thought I would" he whispered the last part hoping Marting doesn't hear it, but Martin caught it and tightened his grip around his waist.
They stay like this for a while, just holding each other. Juhoon playing with the taller's hair with one hand while the other was tight around him. Martin getting heavier by the second leaning against Juhoon. The older figured that he's falling asleep and he doesn't have the heart to tell him to go to his own room and sleep, not when he's been missing him so much.
There's something different about the way he's holding me now... am I imagining things?
Martin shifts and lets go a bit to realize where he was.
"You good?" Juhoon asked, while his heart was pounding so fast considering how close Martin was.
"A bit better, but... can I be honest?" Martin says, his eyes anywhere but on Juhoon.
Juhoon nods.
"I kinda don't wanna let go of this hug... I didn't realize how much I missed you, is this weird?"
Oh
Juhoon being terrible at words, he just drags the taller's body, so he can lay on his bed, same position but instead of sitting they're laying. He leads Martin's body where it was and his head where it was. Martin is too tired to overthink it or to analyse it. He doesn't know where to put all those feelings, but right now he doesn't care. All he knows is that his brain is making so much noise and the only thing that's making it stop is Juhoon.
Martin lays there. Half his body is on top of Juhoon. His arms around his waist, head buried in his neck, feeling the rise and fall of Juhoon's chest. Juhoon's running circles on his back and gently playing with his hair. He doesn't care. All he knows is that he doesn't want Juhoon to stop.
Juhoon lays there hoping Martin can't hear how loud his heart is beating.