Chapter Text
“…So that’s why the one who has to accompany me is you!”
Impeccably planned, from start to finish. Every single excuse, every single explanation, every single detail. Every route of the quest Merlin presented before the knight before him could only end in one place: The only one who can be by my side is you.
Warmth was manifesting within Merlin’s heart. Such a feeling was once alien, but around him, it was almost like it was the very experience he had been seeking his whole life. He could finally know the illusive butterflies-in-one’s-chest sensation that others spoke of as a normal component of their lives. This powerful force… “love”, that could topple kingdoms, had started as a small seed that day Merlin met him in that otherwise empty field of pink flowers. Over time, it grew to be a large, thick tree, unable to be felled by any axe. Looking into his eyes was like being told all the answers of the universe, like finally understanding every mystery whose solutions seemed unreachable.
“Love”.
Humans speak of it as though it’s what makes them truly “human”.
Kissing, holding hands, yearning, fighting with one another, breaking up, hurting, making up, and going through the tango once more…
Humans speak of this as though it’s a universal experience that everyone alive must have felt at one point or another.
So, by being so close to this man he “loves” so much, he’s becoming more and more human, isn’t he? No longer is he a devil or some sort of strange beast, but just an ordinary man living in an ordinary way. That’s why, no matter what, he had to keep his beloved by his side. Yet, the knight seemed to have other plans.
“…It seems that Sir Lancelot would be a better fit, would he not…?” Bedivere rubbed his fingers against the grooves on Airgetlam as he followed up in a quieter voice, “Sir Gawain, actually, would be the best possible choice – he is very charismatic, and his words could move anyone…”
“Well- it’s a timed mission, so we’ll be working at night some. It also requires someone who’s gentler than Sir Lancelot! Finally… right, the king personally recommended you, so that’s why you have to be the one to go!”
This was, of course, a lie. All of it was. There was no chaos breaking out, no villages to save – just the scheming mind of the court mage, and an overwhelming desire to show the man he loved how he felt. Just a date would not be enough to communicate that. Riding with him, pursuing a common goal, being blanketed by the stars, being in a vulnerable state in front of him – this was just the tip of the iceberg of all the things he wanted to do with Bedivere, and he needed to communicate as much.
It would be nice if Bedivere felt the same way, too.
“My king – is that true? The king specifically requested me?” Bedivere’s face lit up, “I cannot turn down such a quest, then, even if there are better alternatives… no, I cannot doubt his judgement – I’m sure he has a reason for this.”
There was a brief pang in Merlin’s heart at this sudden shift in Bedivere’s behavior, a wish settling within him.
I wish he would’ve done it for me instead of his king.
Yet he knew that he could expect nothing from the Knight of Loyalty than for him to put his king first always.
“Ahahaha… I’m sure the king’s got a good reason. Anyway, be sure to get ready for a long trip- I’ve already gotten permission for rayshifting, so you don’t have to worry about that!”
Bedivere silently nodded to Merlin before exiting, leaving him alone
and feeling this persistent emptiness once again.
Merlin shook off this thought before preparing to rayshift himself. He never liked how cramped those coffins were – like a claustrophobic jail cell closing off his only contact to the world. This time, he’d have Bedivere with him though, so it’d be okay. He pulled out a map of the location they’d be rayshifting to and gave it one more cursory glance as if to confirm whether he really wanted to go through with this.
Merlin met up with Bedivere in front of the coffins. Bedivere’s arms were full of survival tools in case any sort of “what if” situation would arise, and upon his back was an overstuffed backpack. With much effort, he managed to stuff everything into his respective coffin, before finally lying down in it himself. He gave Merlin a quizzical look upon noticing his hesitation to enter his own coffin.
“Is there a problem? If there’s a time limit, I assume we should not take our time…”
“Oh!” Merlin snapped out of his daze, pulling his attention away from Bedivere just long enough to throw himself into his own coffin without thinking, “Right, right, time limit! Don’t want to leave anyone who needs rescuing waiting, after all!”
Thankfully, he pulled some strings just well enough to get an ‘OK’ from the higher ups for this impromptu mission that had little bearing on the fate of the world. It also seemed to him like Da Vinci had some fascination with his goal, but he might’ve just imagined that.
After one rocky, nausea-inducing ride, Merlin and Bedivere found themselves on a dirt path with endless, spanning green fields in all directions. Bedivere looked about, trying to get an idea of his potential location, only to come up with a total blank.
“Where are we?” Bedivere turned to Merlin, “You said that this mission was set in a Welsh village, but there’s nothing here to really indicate our location, nor where we are supposed to go…”
Shoot, they must’ve overshot a bit. It was fine. They just had to start in a direction, walk enough to find any kind of landmark, and then correct themselves to the proper path so they can hit every romantic site Merlin thought of.
“Right, let’s just go this way! That’s what my gut- I mean, strategic mind is telling me!” Merlin began marching in a random direction with a confident air, chest up towards the sky. He had to hide any sense of apprehension, or Bedivere would catch on for sure.
“Hmm…? This way… do you know this area so well that you can pick a path even without any indication of where we might be? I suppose this should be expected from the court mage…” Bedi bought Merlin’s act hook, line, and sinker, and walked behind him with a pep in his step similar to that of a duckling following its mother.
I would’ve liked to walk side-by-side with him like he does with his knight friends, but oh well.
Merlin cast the occasional glance back to Bedivere, getting an eyeful of his current visage. The punished man trudging through the wilderness on a broken body, clutching only the sword that changed his fate as motivation to move forward, was no more externally. Despite the weight on him, he walked with a strength to his steps of a man whose heart’s turmoil had been resolved. His face was carved with determination, focused on one goal and one goal only: to help those he believed to be hurting.
A pang of guilt briefly filled Merlin. There was no village in danger that he knew of. There was no reason for Bedivere to worry so much. The look in his eyes radiated one who seemed to already know the pain that the villagers were going through. It bordered on desperation, like every step of his could be the one to coincide with their final breaths.
Perhaps, the suffering faces he foresaw were not of strangers, but of those from the Secret Village, which he failed to protect from his fellow knights.
Those who showed him kindness despite his sins…
Those who welcomed him despite him being the source of their agony…
Those who included him in their festivities, treating him just as human as they were, despite his long journey changing him into an existence neither man nor Servant.
Those were the sorts of thoughts that must have been running through his head. Merlin cursed himself for using such a charged topic as a cover story. Hey, maybe if he was lucky, there really would be some village in need of their help, and then he could get away with his lie Scott free –
No, maybe he shouldn’t wish that on anyone.
“Hey, Bedivere,” Merlin spoke, turning his attention back before him, as he wracked his mind trying to think of something to talk about.
“Yes?” Bedivere responded.
“Sooo, uuummm…” Merlin cleared his throat, “…got anything you want to talk about?”
“…My apologies. I’m not well experienced in conversation, nor am I a suitable partner if you wish to discuss anything that may be of interest to you…” Bedivere trailed off before he could continue his self-derogatory statements.
“Nah, I just wanna hear you talk!” Merlin piped up, “I don’t really care about what- or, I mean, I’ll care about whatever you tell me about!”
He definitely nailed it.
…Well, actually, Bedivere didn’t think so.
“We are on a highly important mission that has a time limit, Merlin. We should keep the conversation to a minimum and instead keep full attention to the journey before us,” Bedivere sternly responded, shutting down any possibility of continuing further.
O merciful Da Vinci, please have made an accident and transported me somewhere other than my intended location so we can find some desperate village and fix things up real quick! I’ve got a hot knight to talk to here and he doesn’t even want to talk to me because he’s so devoted to protecting made-up people!
Merlin wanted to cry, just a little, at how badly his plan had proven to blow up in his face. It was great that Bedivere wanted to help suffering people so badly, but what about the suffering, sexy court mage right in front of him!? It’s not easy being this handsome! He’d love if a certain silver butler offered him a hand…!
Merlin was caught up in his thoughts, and only came to be aware of what was coming into sight as Bedivere’s footsteps quickened. Bedivere soon overtook him, seemingly determined to leave him in the dust. The source for Bedivere’s fervent pace was clear – there was plumes of smoke rising to the sky. Both Merlin and Bedivere ran as fast as their legs could take them towards the smoke – soon, there was a fire visible. A village was on fire.
Yippee! I mean, oh nooo!!
Even as the legendary wizard, the sort-of-Grand Caster, the court mage, Merlin found himself incapable of keeping up with Bedivere’s speed. In his heyday, Bedivere was regarded as one of the fastest knights of the table, but his unflashy attitude and tendency to crowd Kay cruelly landed him as being a nobody in the history books. Even so, Bedivere could out speed any of those famed, peerless knights – Lancelot, Tristan, and even Percival, in both his footwork and his sword thrusts. Merlin soon became a background character in his own romance story as Bedivere became smaller and smaller in the horizon and rose to the ‘main protagonist’ status of his adventure tale in the making,
It was not until a good fifteen minutes after Bedivere had arrived at the burning village that Merlin stumbled through its doors, sweating and wheezing as he leaned on his staff for support. His legs felt like they could buckle out from under him at any point. He was made for reading tomes and biting his tongue while trying to cast spells, not for running marathons!
Merlin huffed and puffed his way towards the flash of silver in his now blurry sight, crouched over like every one of his years was hitting him all at once. The smell of smoke filled his sinuses, and the voices around him seemed to be just as blurred as his vision. He leaned against a nearby wall and tried to reorient himself by focusing on what was directly in front of him.
He could barely make out words from the cries that rattled his eardrums.
“… dragon-“
Like, a real one? Not the sort of barely ‘dragon’ dragons Chaldea has to fight all the time? There was one here? Really? He certainly didn’t see one, but then again, he could barely see anything.
As his vision cleared up some, he could make out more clearly that Bedivere was rescuing people from a burning building. Again and again, he went in and brought out inhabitants two at a time. Soon, Merlin was surrounded by injured people. Merlin finally recovered enough to get his act together, allowing him to finally hone in on the fact that Bedivere was unsuccessfully attempting to put the fire out before it could spread further.
The villagers should take priority, but by stopping the spread of the fire, it could prevent more people from getting hurt!
Merlin inhaled and began to chant, holding up his staff. Early into his spell, he managed to bite his tongue.
“Yowch!”
This pain was still minor compared to the pain those caught in the fire must be experiencing, so Merlin persevered with this not-so comforting thought in mind. After biting his tongue another two times, Merlin managed to get through the whole spell. Soon after he uttered the last clumsy syllable, the skies opened up and rain poured down on the land.
With the fire underway of being taken care of, Merlin then chanted another spell, narrowly avoiding biting his tongue. Flowers manifested under across the village, and everyone’s burns healed and wounds closed.
“Whew! That’s that, then!” Merlin gave the ground a hefty tap with his staff.
“Is everyone alright? Are your injuries all healed?” Bedivere went from one villager to the next, personally checking on each and every one of them.
Wish he’d show me the same level of concern he shows total strangers.
Merlin patted his face to scare the jealous thoughts away before helping check on everyone. Thanks to Bedivere and Merlin’s collective efforts, everyone was relatively unharmed, and the fire was stopped before it could spread to other buildings. Unfortunately, the damage done to the building was unfixable. With the threat gone, the rain stopped.
“uum--“ One of the villagers finally spoke up, “how did you… no, umm…”
“We’re mages…knights…magical knights…?...!” Merlin grinned, patting his chest, “No, wait, I mean, we’re wandering warriors looking for people to help!”
“You… are?” Another villager, a younger woman, leaned forward, “You’ll help us?”
“We have already by putting out the fire, haven’t we? Unless there’s something more serious going on…?” Merlin scratched his beardless chin, “Maybe- let me think- a dragon?”
“You know of it?” The younger woman’s eyes widened when Merlin spoke the word ‘dragon’, “The dragon…”
“Right, call it my clairvoyance!” Merlin puffed his chest out, “So, tell me- why’s this dragon burning your village?”
Bedivere rejoined Merlin’s side, awkwardly placing his gaze on the ground. He would always clam up when it came to ask details about quests. Kay and Tristan certainly were beneficial in such situations, because they had no social anxiety to speak of.
“There’s this dragon that’s been kidnapping the women of the village. If we don’t set up a sacrifice every six months, that horrible beast comes and sets one of our buildings ablaze! How are we supposed to survive this!? I’ve heard rumors that other villages have all been wiped out by this!” A gruff voice spouted from the crowd.
“So, based on the fire… you didn’t set up a sacrifice this time…?” Merlin tilted his head, contemplating this, “Was anyone taken?”
“In all the ruckus, I haven’t the foggiest idea!” The gruff voice answered back before calling out to the rest of the crowd, “Hey! Everyone here!? Anyone absent!?”
Among the voices of the crowd, a weaker-willed, panicked voice shouted a cry:
“My daughter! My daughter was taken by the dragon! Please- please, great warriors, you have to go save her!”
Bedivere stiffened before catching hold of his voice.
“We will find your daughter,” Bedivere stated with confidence, “… and we will bring her back safely. Please tell us everything you know.”
“Do you have a map?” A bearded man in a hat spoke up, “If not, I can share what I’ve made with you.”
Merlin went to grab his own map, just to realize that so far, nothing they’d seen had linked up with it. Landmarks were missing, and he hadn’t seen anything about this village on it. It was safe to assume that they were wildly off course.
Great thinking, Da Vinci! Win-win!!
The bearded man scuttled off before returning with a map. He shoved it in Merlin and Bedivere’s faces before firmly jabbing a finger at a circled area.
“We’re here,” the man grunted, “and the dragon…”
The man traced his finger across the map before jabbing a finger at an X on the map, “…is here. In the cave in this cliff face, here. You can keep this map if you promise to kill that thing with everything you’ve got.”
“I have… some experience slaying dragons…” Bedivere’s tough façade was wavering, “…for food.”
The man squinted at Bedivere as he scratched at the back of his neck, “I don’t know what kinda lizards you’ve been killing, but one dinky little pointy stick like the one by your side isn’t gonna cut it. Only one coated with the pollen of a belladonna that bloomed on the full moon can slay that beast. It’s officially called a ‘moonshade’ here rather than just ‘nightshade’, because it’s definitely different.”
“Have you… tried just… using normal nightshade? Just, a normal belladonna flower?” Merlin voiced his disbelief.
“No,” the man forcefully spat back, “What’s it to you?”
“Merlin, we must take them at their word. If this is the only method that works, we must try it. Otherwise, we will never save her,” fire burned in Bedivere’s eyes, “We cannot possibly risk such a thing.”
Try to exercise a little suspicion in people, Bedi! Most people don’t know a lick about magic nor killing phantasmal beasts, but they talk like total experts!
“Sir,” Bedivere turned to the man, “How do we distinguish ‘moonshade’ and ‘nightshade’? Where do we find it?”
“What do you mean, how do you distinguish the two?” The man grunted with irritation, “It’s obvious which one’s which. One smells like nightshade, the other doesn’t! Obvious, right? If you don’t know what nightshade smells like, just… I don’t know, sniff around until you can find one that isn’t like the others, and that’s probably it. As for where it is--“
The man pointed to a field on the map that was between the village and the cave, “Right here. Can’t miss it. Huge field of flowers, and there’s belladonna all over the place in the middle. Don’t eat the fruits, though, Pigtails, or you’ll die faster than that dragon ever could kill you.”
“I… um…” Bedivere rubbed Airgetlam, “…know that, but thank you for your concern…”
A pout appeared on Bedivere’s face as he moped about discovering that this man considered him the sort to eat things without considering whether they were truly edible. Unlike his cousin, who would shove just about anything in his mouth, Bedivere prided himself on his ability to tell edibility versus lack of edibility of objects! He, perhaps, might consider himself a gourmet compared to his cousin, although Lucan, the true gourmet of the three, regarded both of their diets with fear and horror. Merlin couldn’t help but laugh a little at Bedivere’s face, but it seemed that Bedivere remained oblivious to Merlin in favor of accepting the map from the man.
“Now that you know what you’ve gotta do, your next step is to get some horses,” the man turned around, “Follow me.”
“Hmm…?” Merlin leaned over Bedi’s arm to look at the map, “This is pretty detailed, isn’t it? You made this, you said? How?”
The man chuckled, a 180 of his previous behavior, before turning to them and shoving a thumb into his broad chest, “Might not look like much, but I was once a wanderer just like you two beanpoles.”
“Don’t dawdle, now! You’ve got a lady to save, don’t you!?” The man tilted his hat before marching away from them.
Bedivere and Merlin followed him towards the stables, a few children pursuing them with eyes of wonderment and fascination. They tugged at their capes and sleeves, chattering and tossing rapid-fire questions at them.
“Are you an angel!?” One boy asked as he tugged at Bedivere’s cape, “My mom said you’re an angel!”
“Ahaha…” Bedivere laughed awkwardly, “…No, my apologies. I’m a knight.”
“Wooooowww!” The boy waved his hands around, “I wanna be a knight, then! My mom said I couldn’t be an angel, but if knights aren’t angels, I can go be one, too! Then I can go save people from scary fires too!”
“Maybe when you’re a little older…” Bedi gave the boy a pat on the head, “I’m sure you will be a great knight if you don’t give up your wish to help people.”
A pigtailed girl grabbed onto Merlin’s robes.
“I have a big stick too!” The girl held up a stick, “I found it! It’s just like yours!”
“It… sure is!” Merlin laughed, unsure how to handle kids. He glanced at Bedivere out of the corner of his eye, who was expertly handling the children mobbing him.
I forgot he was a dad of two until now! It’s just hard to imagine him as anything other than the single bachelor I knew him for before I got stuck in Avalon! Good going, lady, scoring him – he always was a shy one!
Hmmm… wait, come to think of it, I never saw his lover when I was snooping on everyone… was there one, or…
Merlin quickly shut down this train of thought before he could start considering questions that were absolutely none of his business. He didn’t even want to imagine that scary smile Bedivere would definitely shoot him if he asked something like, ‘Hey, Bedi, where’d your kids come from, anyway!? Who’d you make ‘em with, huh!?’ The rather persistent child by his side helped occupy his mind.
“I can spin mine!” The girl spun her stick, “Bet you can’t spin yours as well as I can!”
Merlin’s smile was straining as he tried to think of a response. He was not one to back down from a challenge.
“Uuuuhhh- yeah, no way! Actually, I come from Stick Spinning University, so I’m an expert in it! Better try in the next life, kid, because I’ve got degrees by my name for this!” The ridiculous words came out of Merlin’s mouth before he could stop them. He spun his staff with a swift motion, only to bonk himself on the head.
“Yowch!” Merlin rubbed his head, moping as the girl started to giggle at him, “I’m really an expert at this, you know! That’s just a stunt I did to make you think you’re better!”
“You’re a sore looooser! Looo-ser!” The girl stuck her tongue out at Merlin before joining the other children in their grand quest to ask Bedivere as many questions as humanly possible. Merlin stuck his tongue out back at her as she left his side.
“Now, now,” Bedivere patted her head, “That wasn’t very nice. You wouldn’t like it if someone called you a loser, would you? It would make you sad, wouldn’t it?”
“Duh, ‘cuz I’m no loser! I’d be mad if someone said I am!” The girl crossed her arms defiantly.
“Of course. Someone might say that, but you aren’t, are you? You would want then to apologize for it, would you not?” Bedivere responded gently, stopping in his tracks to lean down some.
“…Uhuh,” The girl tilted her head.
“Merlin is a very skilled man even if he makes mistakes sometimes. You should apologize to him,” Bedivere pointed to Merlin, “You will make him very sad if you don’t. You don’t want to make him sad, do you?”
“…Nuh-uh- I just wanna play ‘spin sticks’ with him…” The girl’s shoulders lowered some.
Creative name. Brat.
“He would be very happy if you apologized. It’s okay,” Bedivere smiled, “I know you can do it.”
The girl turned to Merlin, her skirt swishing from her spin, “Sooo-rry. I didn’t mean it. You’re kind of okay at spinning sticks…”
“…Uh, yeah. Thanks,” Merlin wasn’t sure how to react to being apologized to be a gremlin – no, child. This was the first time in a while anyone had apologized to him… Bedivere really didn’t need to do that. He wasn’t really that hurt at all…
Was it for my sake, or for hers…?
The girl scuttled back to Bedivere, hiding by his side and occasionally giving Merlin a peek. Eventually, the otherwise uneventful walk ended, and the children scattered as Merlin and Bedivere ended up at the stables.
“Took you long enough – didn’t need to entertain those brats the whole way,” the man scratched his neck, “They’ll bug off if you tell ‘em too.”
“It is important to respect their feelings, too…” Bedivere mumbled under his breath, but couldn’t bring himself to meet the man’s eyes.
“Anyway, there’s a few horses here,” the man gave one of the horse’s muzzles a pat before pulling his hand away as it snapped at him, “including this nasty one. Sugarcube, the brats call it. Named for its white coat, see? It’s always been around since we can recall, and it’s always been unruly. When we let it out, it just stands there like it’s waiting on something. Useless excuse for a horse!”
Merlin looked over the horse. It was clearly no normal horse – he could detect magic radiating off of it. With the dried, rotting weeds embedded into its mane, he could venture a guess that this horse was fae in nature – most likely a kelpie. Before he could say anything, however, Bedivere approached Sugarcube and put out his hand for it to sniff.
It watched him judgmentally before giving his hand a sniff. Sugarcube, despite its rude nature, seemed to accept Bedivere, and allowed him to pet its neck.
“Is it okay if I ride you?” Bedivere spoke in a low, kind voice.
The horse snorted, leaning into his hand.
There he is!! One of the Three Horsemen of the British Isles! Wait, no time to be impressed. I can’t let him ride a kelpie!
“Hey, Bedivere…” Merlin patted Bedivere’s shoulder as Sugarcube was freed from his stable.
“Merlin, you should pick a horse, too,” Bedivere started to mount Sugarcube, “You shouldn’t have to walk the whole time.”
“Uuuh, well, about Sugarcube…” Merlin waved his hands, “Maybe, you could pick some horse… other than…”
Merlin could tell that Bedivere was confident about his choice. He groaned, looking through his choices. His eyes landed on a horse with a dull, light brown coat and long mane. It was huddled into the corner of its stable, nervously chewing.
“Heyyy, buddy…” Merlin approached. If Bedivere could befriend horses, he could, too!
“That’s Haybale,” the man piped up, “Haybale’s extremely shy – nobody’s been able to do anything with that one, either. Waste of hay, that one is, despite its name.”
Something about seeing the introverted horse struck a chord in Merlin’s heart. He pulled out an apple, his favorite snack, from his pocket, and held it out for Haybale. Haybale eyed it cautiously as Merlin averted his eyes. Slowly, Haybale trudged forward, freezing whenever Merlin made any sort of move…
…and eventually took an itty, bitty bite off the apple.
“We really don’t have time for this…” the man groaned, “Couldn’t you two pick the easy-to-handle horses!?”
As simple as it sounded, it was an impossibility for both of them – something within these two horses drew both Bedivere and Merlin to their respective horse. Neither could place a finger on what it was, but they knew that for this journey, the only horses they could take were these.
With some difficulty, Haybale was eventually extracted from its stable, and Merlin mounted it successfully. The two now ready, Merlin and Bedivere began riding towards their destination. First up, the flower field. Hopefully, there wouldn’t be any significant hurdles in the way…