Chapter Text
“No, Derek, we can’t just get a plastic tree! Are you mental?” Titch all but shouted at the taller man.
“W-What’s wrong with a…a plastic tree? They’re less faff, cause you — uhh — you d-dont have to water them all the time, and — uhh— y’know, they-they’re more environmentally friendly if you k-keep using them.” Derek responded.
He’d thought that by now, with just his wonderful boyfriend as company, he’d be able to speak like a normal person, like how he used to speak before his life went to utter shit. But he tried not to think about that; Titch didn't care, as far as he could tell, so why should he? Even if he did, he was a hell of a lot better than when he first got to the farm; usually, it was only bad in times of ‘heightened negative emotions’ . Or, at least, that’s what Dr. Caddell said.
“It’s the principal, Derek! It’s not Christmas without the Christmas tree smell and needles in your carpet!” And then, slightly meeker, “Besides, its tradition.”
Titch knew it was probably a little stupid that he had been desperately clinging on to any traditions he could remember since his father passed, even if they weren’t particularly important in his life. Anything to remember his family. Because even if he never quite fit in, and his father didn’t always instill him with the values, they were the ones who chose him, so he’d choose them in return. Every time.
Derek's eyes softened ever so slightly as he conceded, “alright, love, l-lets go get a real tree then.”
Derek smiled. But not one of those rehearsed ones he gave to his colleagues, nor the type he used at the shops or business meetings, not even the type he showed Annabelle, his closest friend. No. This smile was reserved just for Titch.
It was warm and bright and full of his pure, unfiltered joy. Love, even. And somehow, no matter how many times Titch saw it, no matter how long they’d been together, it always managed to make Titch feel like he was the lovesick teenage protagonist of every 2000s chick flick.
“Yeah,” he breathed back, smiling like an idiot.
With that, the two men stood up, wrapped up in their big coats and hats, and braved the below freezing temperatures.
No talking broke their comfortable silence as they took the 10 minute walk to Justin’s Christmas tree farm. The only change in their actions was when Titch took his hand out of his pocket and held it out to his partner, suddenly glad they forewent their gloves.
This was one of his favourite things about being with Derek; he somehow knew exactly what mood titch was in and acted accordingly. Right now, he just wanted to revel in the crisp bite on his cheeks and ears that told him it was winter, and thank God for whatever made Him decide Titch deserved someone as perfect as his gorgeous, wonderful, sweet, charming boyfriend.
Justin, who has been his father’s friend since before they got Titch, was already up from his seat to greet him and Derek before they’d even gotten to the gates. He was a lovely man, warm and happy and always acted like he was everyone’s dad, no matter how well he knew them, or how old they were. He seemed to only get kinder as he aged; Titch distinctly remembered James telling him about ‘the rude man daddy talks to’ on one of his first visits. But Titch had never seen that side of the old man, even after almost a decade of knowing him.
“Alright boys!” The very man in question called, “how are you both? Winter treating you well?”
“alright Justin!” Titch responded with the same enthusiasm, “yeah, yeah we’re good, you?”
“ah, You know me!” Was his way of reply.
“Yeah,” Titch laughed, “well, we’ll be off to look at your trees now, wont be a mo”
As they submerged themselves between the rows of evergreens, Derek, conspicuously silent until that moment, shuffled ever closer to his boyfriend.
“H-he’s a lot n-nicer this time around” Derek attempted a joke.
The last — and only time, in Derek’s case — the residents of Elveswood farm had seen Justin was at Christopher Fernsby's funeral last January. He knew how much Titch hated being reminded of his father — especially as he’d still barely accepted his passing — and seeing as all of Titch’s memories of Justin involved his father in some way, he wanted to lift the spirits of his favourite person.
It didn’t work, though. Titch only sighed and pulled Derek in for a hug, burying his ruddied face into the warmth of Derek’s open coat — because no matter how cold it was and the fact that he was all skin and bones, he refused to zip it up — and mumbled something that, had it been a real word, would have been too quiet for Derek to make out.
When Titch pulled away, he was straight back to business. Calm in that telltale way that told Derek he was holding something back. For once, he wouldn’t question it, wouldn’t stop in his tracks and force him to speak, because it was Christmas. They had trees to buy and seasons to ring in; he could talk about it later.
Titch, who had walked ahead to the end of the path, spun on the spot grinning at his boyfriend, “Derek! Come look at this one!”
Titch’s smile had always been infectious, but coupled with the Christmas spirit that was heightened by the familiar melodies of Bing Crosby through about a dozen different speakers around the courtyard, there wasn’t a chance in Hell that Derek could have stopped the joyous expression that lit up his features.
God, he loved his boyfriend.
The tree Titch had found was, admittedly, quite good. It was a decent height — tall enough that Titch would need a stepladder if he wanted to put the angel on — and full, with no bald spots. It was a great deal better than most of the trees he’d had in the past, too.
“ok-kay, love, I’ve got to… to admit, this is m-much better than a-a plastic tree”
“yes, because we’re not crazy,” Titch teased.
Derek smiled back.
And for a split second, both men thought the exact same thing at the same time: ‘what on earth could i have possibly done to deserve him’
Titch was alright again. Not good, not even fine — it would take a while before he could be fine at the mention of his father — but he was alright. And for now, that’s all he needed
They bought that tree and lugged it home between the two of them, keeping the giddy mood that came with a good day out about them all the way. Once they were inside, Derek started a fire, Titch and James brought down the unnecessarily large boxes of Christmas ornaments from the attic, and they spent the rest of the day decorating the house, breaking intermittently to dance to the Christmas music filling the room, and likely the rest of their property.