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John knows he is a little too loud.
He likes to announce when he likes or does not like something.
When he was with Olivia, he made sure to let her know that all touches were acceptable.
John loves to be physically reassured. It’s just his way to charge his battery.
Now that Bucky and he were…something, one would expect for them to be more touchy with each other.
But the truth was that John couldn’t say what he needed.
John was scared that Bucky would feel pressured to do something he didn’t want to. Or worse, John was scared Bucky would push him away.
Yes, John could be selfish. But he didn’t want to ruin this.
Bucky and he had their ups and downs, but now things were far better. And John was getting used to it.
And even if John was starving for being touched, more than just a brush on the knee or a hand graze.
Still, John had his ways to avoid thinking about it.
Like cooking.
God.
John loves to cook.
And he definitely loves to see Bucky’s happy face when he is savouring one of his favourite dishes that John had made.
John also likes that even if he and the others do not get along well, not being alone now is such a break.
So, John could overlook his need most of the time.
Still, there were some other times that John couldn't stop his thoughts.
Today was one of those times.
The team had a mission, a rescue, and while John and Bucky were acting as the decoy, Yelena, Ava, and Alexei were saving a group of kids.
John had a soft spot for kids, so it almost felt personal.
By the end of the day, John was exhausted, not only physically but also emotionally.
John sighed while running his hands all over his hair.
Yelena and Alexei were talking in the cockpit. While Ava was sleeping on one of the back benches.
“You alright, Walker?” Bucky asked.
He was on the bench just in front of John.
“Yeah, just fucking tired.”
John looked up, finally actually looking at Bucky.
He was just as drained, but there was a look in his eyes, as if he was asking John something, something John couldn’t figure out.
Maybe because of that intensive gaze or because John didn’t want to fight himself, he let his mouth run.
“Not that you have to or anything, but if you ever… you know… needed a hug, I wouldn’t say no.”
Bucky was staring at him.
A different gaze now, like a spark had just crossed his eyes.
None said anything for a long time.
John thought that maybe he shouldn’t have said that.
But in a quick motion, Bucky stood up and closed their distance.
Strong arms hugged John; it was tight, almost needy.
John’s eyes went wide.
His brain short-circuited for a second.
That’s when John understood he wasn't the only one that had been hungry all the time.