Chapter Text
You're on your way home after another grueling night shift, tired and SO done with everything.
If that stupid customer hadn't thrown up, you'd get to go home WAY earlier than this! You sighed heavily and turned around the corner. Today sucked.
"H-hey," you heard someone call from the darkness in an awkward cracking voice. Maybe a lost teenager...?
You squinted as you looked ahead, but couldn't make out the silhouette. "Hello? Are you talking to me?"
Likely. You were the only other person on the street in the middle of the night.
"Gah!" The stranger jolted in surprise, but didn't move from his spot. "Y-yes!"
"Okay...." You uttered to yourself before calling back to the teenager.
"Do your parents know you're out this late?" You scolded.
"My parents?! How old do you think I am-?!! I mean, uh...Yes, they do! Could you, uh...come over here for a second...?"
"Why," you asked. "You're being real shady."
"I-uh..."
"Oh! Did you get your foot stuck on that giant wad of gum that's been on this sidewalk or something...?"
".... Yeah! That's it! I, uh...need some help, please!"
You mumbled to yourself, "Stupid kid...."
Practically everyone stepped on that shit. You did going to and from work every day. Maybe it was karma for leaving it there in the first place as a prank on your coworkers...
You shrugged and began walking over. 'If he pulls anything, I can easily take him down anyway, so what's the harm?'
"Alright," you said. "But don't be walking around these streets by yourself, it's dangerous. A psycho could-"
Before you finished your warning, he ran up to you screaming a high C and whacked you swiftly with a frying pan.
You slumped to the floor and mumbled, "....hit you with a frying pan...." before blacking out.
The last thing you heard was the child man grumbling to himself, "Damn, I stepped on a big ass wad of gum!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Ugh, where am I....?"
You opened your eyes slowly, but you only could see more darkness. If felt like you were lying on the ground inside a building.
"What the hell...?!"
"Welcome to my home," you heard a familiar voice say from across the room. "Try to make yourself comfortable, okay...?"
"Ah, weird teenager on the street, is that you?!" You hollered.
"I'm not a teenager," he whined. You could hear him stomp a foot on the ground. "I'm an adult!"
"Like I care! Why the hell did you kidnap me?!?"
"Hey, I'm uncomfortable too...!" He defended. "It's nothing personal...."
"Yeah, I'd hope so! Where are you, anyway, so I can kick your ass!" You stood up.
"Hold up, hold up! Allow me to explain," he interjected. You heard him moving around, which only made you move away from the sound.
There was a "flick* noise, and you could finally see a little light. The kidnapper held a match and lit a fancy set of candles so that you could see him. The room, however, was still unclear.
Oh, how classy...
He was an average looking guy who wore mostly black and a...cape. A green cape. And there was a bat sitting on his shoulder. Oh. So he's that kind of kid...
"I swear, this isn't a phase," he stated as if he heard your thoughts.
"......."
"Say hi, Nyaa-chan~," he chimed, looking at the bat. "I named her Nyaa-chan after my favorite idol, have you heard of her? Isn't she great?"
This was getting scary.
".... Okay, well, I'm glad we all got to meet each other. I think I'm gonna go-"
"Wait, you can't!" He moved up to you and held out his arms. "I need you!"
"What the hell is going on?!?" You yelled. "If you don't tell me, I'll round-house you, I swear!! I'm not gonna take shit from a...what, roleplayer??"
"I know, I know, I'm getting to that," he meekly said as he walked over to a small table. "Have a seat and I'll tell you."
You crossed your arms and sighed heavily, but reluctantly obliged.
"Do you want anything...?" He awkwardly asked. "We have pie, uh....juice...cold chicken.... Oh, there's half a cupcake in the fridge-"
"I don't want to get comfortable," you firmly replied. "I WANT an explanation before I kick your ass!"
"Okay..." He frowned.
".... What kind of pie...?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Mmm, it's pretty good. Okay," you began after having a piece of pie. "Good luck explaining your kidnapping me off the street in an understandable way. You got a minute."
He sighed and looked down. "Don't make fun of me, okay...? I'm actually...... a vampire."
"...... So it IS a phase."
"No! It's not a phase! I'm serious!!" he shouted, slamming his hands on the table. "Don't you see my bat?!"
You continued to look at him unconvinced and raised an eyebrow.
He held his hands up like they were claws and hissed at you in a high pitched tone, his fangs were made completely visible.
"Stop," you grumbled. "That noise is annoying."
He stopped immediately and put his hands down on his lap timidly, holding them together.
"Sorry," he mumbled.
"Alright, I believe you, I guess" you sighed. "Is that all?"
"N-no, obviously not! I, uh...need your blood."
"Aren't you supposed to seduce me or something THEN get my blood while i'm off guard? Since when do you guys ask for permission?" You remarked.
"Oh, about that....." He grew flustered and chocked out. "... I can't."
"Eh? You can't?" You echoed.
He nodded, "I'm...not very good at it....!"
"I can see that," you nodded.
"Hey!"
You laughed to yourself. "Then just steal from a blood bank!"
"No!"
"No?"
"No," he repeated. "M-my brothers will....make fun of me....."
"Are they 'vampires' too?"
"Why do you put emphasis on vampires? I told you It's NOT a phase! And yes, they are."
"Ah~, I see," you said sarcastically, continuing to eat your pie.
"We all have our own approaches to getting blood, but...I try to avoid talking to people and tricking them. It doesn't feel right."
"Mmhmmm," you nodded, still eating.
"But it's either that or be like that crazy Ichimatsu and just attack strangers in a dark alley."
"What an asshole," you said with your mouth kinda full.
"I'm NOT doing that! I'm the most rational of my brothers, so why would I do something so insane?"
"You go, girl."
"Not to mention gross. How can you just drink anyone's blood? They have different flavor and thickness, you know. And consent is only decent. My brothers don't give it any thought!"
"It's a wonder your starving."
"Hey, are you even listening to me?!" He yelled. "This isn't easy to admit, you know!"
"I'm listening!" You reassured, though you were half lying. "So you're gonna draw my blood with a syringe, or something?"
"I'm not a blood drive," he corrected with a frown. "I mean I need all of it."
".... All...?" You asked, wide eyed.
"Are you... alright with tha-"
"Of course not!!" You yelled, standing up. "Who the hell would be?!"
".... So I guess asking isn't going to be very effective, huh...?" He mumbled, furrowing his brows.
"...I'm gonna go home now, alright?" You uttered, moving away from the table. "How do I get out of here?"
"Hey, hey WAIT!" He stood up and had no idea how to stop you. "Maybe we can work something out?"
"What could you give me that'll be worth dying for?!" You asked, feeling around for a door.
"Uh...the rest of the pie...?"
"Nice try. Is this one of those mansions vampires always have with the organs and shit?"
"Organ? Well, no, but I can play electric violin."
You clicked your tongue, not really paying attention. "Where the hell is the light switch?!"
"Y-you won't be able to find it!" He stated with a smile. "You're trapped here!"
*Flick*
You turned the light on. This was just an average house, how anticlimactic. Your place was bigger than this!
With the lights suddenly turning on, the 'vampire' covered his eyes and screamed bloody murder. "TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!!" He begged.
How lame.
You turned the light off and grimaced, "You damn bluff."
He sighed with relief and frowned at you. "You almost killed me!"
"An eye for an eye, then," you spat.
"Look," he firmly began. "Can we just try to come up with something together...? I haven't eaten in days, so I'm willing to compromise..."
"You're surprisingly agreeable for a vampire..." You mumbled. ".... Fine." With a sigh, you sat down at the table again.
"Really?" He smiled. "Do you hear that, Nyaa-chan? We're getting a meal on our own!"
You winced, but decided not to comment. "So...you're not gonna kill me or turn me into a vampire, right?"
"Oh, no, nothing that primitive. If you fall down the stairs, maybe I can drink whatever spills out."
"Okay, NO."
He groaned, "Then what would you be okay with?"
"I don't know, it's not like there's a decent way to get your blood sucked!"
"..." He lowered his head and sighed in defeat. "I guess you're right.... Then you'll just have to cut off a finger."
"Huh??"
He held up a knife and reassured, "I'll do it fast, I promise."
You got up and moved away from the table. "No, no, no! No!"
"It's a very humane alternative!" He insisted.
This man wasn't very fit to be a vampire, was he?
".... You're not letting me leave until this gets done are you...?" You asked.
He shook his head.
"You're not scary, you know, weirdo."
"Choromatsu."
"Choromatsu," you corrected yourself. "There's no way I'm cutting off my finger for you."
He hissed again, trying to threaten you. You lightly hit his face, which caught him off guard and made him stop immediately.
He held his face and whined, ".... Ow...."
"Nope, not scary. Sorry I can't help you without dying or...severing important shit off. I guess I should just go home, then."
"....Yeah, okay...."
"Stick to blood banks, m'kay?" You smiled, pointing a finger at him.
He looked at you, then to your finger with a blant expression. "...."
*Chomp*
He bit your finger.
"Eugh!" You pulled it out and hit his face again.
"Ow! I'm sorry! It was just so out there!"
What a terrible excuse!
"Choromatsu.... Where's the door?" You firmly asked.
"..... Over there," he sadly pointed past you. "The house is small, so you should find your way out fast..."
"Thanks..."
"Sorry about knocking you out with a frying pan..."
"Yeah..."
With that, you left the house. Although he was pathetic, you wanted to lose that guy as soon as possible.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
NEXT DAY
"I hate my job..." You grumbled to yourself on your way back home.
Yesterday was annoying as shit, but it was better than going back to work for sure!
'Maybe I should've just let that loser bite me....Or at least chop my finger off. I could probably get paid vacation with that...'
You sighed and continued on the same road, spacing out until-
"H-hey!"
You turned around and saw Choromatsu in the same lame ass cape he was wearing yesterday right behind you.
"Don't scream or call the police, please!" He begged.
"Don't worry, nothing here's worth screaming over."
"Huh? How could you be so confident??" He asked, suddenly offended. "I could kill, you know!"
You crossed your arms. "Just tell me what you want."
"I want..." He gulped and continued with false confidence. "Y-your blood...!"
"Still?" You sighed.
"I don't have a choice!" He cried. "I already told you everything!"
"That's your own damn fault!"
He sighed with frustration, "I know, but I...was sure I'd get you. Besides, no one's supposed to know of our existence!"
"It's fine, I don't care."
"You should!" He yelled before clearing his throat and continuing more calmly. "As the most responsible of my brothers-"
'Self proclaimed, anyway,' you thought.
"I must finish what I started! F-for my family's sake! So...I'll just follow you until you agree to letting me turn you. Or at least until we come up with an alternative."
"Or until you can actually attempt seducing, right?"
"....." He nodded sheepishly.
"Are you kidding me.....?"
"N-no.... I won't bother you during the day, though!"
"Hrmmm....."
"A-and I'll do whatever you want!" He continued.
This didn't seem like it was just about responsibility, if at all.
You wouldn't mind leaving your dreary lifestyle behind much after giving it a second thought for any payment, but...this was a good, rare opportunity you wouldn't want to lose.
You shrugged, "Meh, why the hell not?"
"R-really?? Yes! Thank you, I won't disappoint, I promise!" He smiled and shook your hand.
"But I'm not gonna make it easy on you, you know."
"A-aha, I'm sure I can manage," he stuttered. "Although, I'd appreciate if you didn't go too far..."
You smiled and continued walking. "C'mon, Choro. Let's go home, then."
"W-w-wait, I'm... going to your house with you....??!"
"I want you to tell me about being a real vampire. Your brothers won't mind I borrow you occasionally, will they?"
"Well...no..."
"Then let's go," you grinned and grabbed his cold wrist and started for your house.
"Uh, h-hey! W-wait a second! I-is this okay??" He squeaked.
By far the most awkward vampire to exist. But, at least you didn't meet any other ones. You probably couldn't handle them as easily as Choromatsu.
"Sure-ah, damn it! I stepped on the big wad of gum again!!"