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Every hour stretched long, every minute, every second. You'd known of Valentine for a while now, since she'd flirted with Tony before moving on to the Count she married and… well, she was the Contessa with no Count now. She'd invited you to see her new project. You were in New York so you said sure, more looking for information for Bucky than wanting to watch her peacock.
The Tower looked so different now, but the button to your floor still had the crack from Bucky overzealously pressing it repeatedly with you wrapped around him. The memory makes you smile, but seeing Valentina instantly wipes the smile from your face, your HR smile falling into place. The longest five minutes were the greetings, the sly slips of slithering hisses, the way women in your positions battled. She asked about your husband and you assure him he's handsome as always, getting that pinched smile that says she's not interested in the least. Then you're on to see her masterpiece, her checkmate to the world, her gun to a knife fight.
He looks sad when you see him, his hair covered in foil where they appear to be dying it. Bob, Robert as Valentina corrects. You call him Bob and he smiles, but you know that sadness. You've seen it behind so many eyes. You can't help notice the way his eyes flick to your stomach and back to your face as Valentina turns away. There's a little smile with those sad eyes wrinkling in a little bit of happiness. You chuckle nervously and shake your head, wondering if this list of abilities Valentina is rambling out is all, but the look those sad eyes gives you tells you it's not.
It's only a few minutes later when Valentina has you wait with Mel as she deals with something upstairs. Bob's hair has been rinsed and dried and he follows her like a lost puppy. No, not lost, kicked. He's a kicked puppy trying to make their master happy and that makes you wonder if he knows somehow, the secret you've been keeping until you hear a heartbeat because you're so scared you'll lose this like you've lost everyone but Bucky.
There’s a sudden evacuation order and you're rushed down the stairs. You scowl at the stairs and grip the railing tightly. These heels were made for elevators. A shadow catches your eye as you turn for another flight and you realize the few people behind you are gone. The smoky ink creeps forward until it touches your foot and in a blink the scene changes.
You know the scene. It's a memory that will never truly leave you as you watch Tony scream at you, watch yourself scream back. It was the last Family Dinner before you stopped speaking with him, the first after he'd turned Captain America into a fugitive. You wouldn't change your words if you went back. The Accords had been overturned because they were wrong, but it hurt so much to know this was your last conversation. You could and had apologized to his headstone a dozen times, but that didn't help. Pepper swore he never hated you, but it still made your eyes sting as the conversation started again and again and again.
It's a reflection that catches your eye. You swear it's Bucky, but he wasn't here. He would've been in Wakanda at the time, after the fight with Tony. You catch it again and run for it, jumping through the window to get to him. This is just a dream, right? You can't die in a dream.
You fall to the floor as you watch yourself creep towards a cracked door in your father's house. There's harsh whispers you can only just make out before you recognize the dress. It's pretty black with black lace and you're so young, too young to hear Obadiah tell Tony they would have been lucky if you would've died too. You step forward, press your hands to your ears before the small you can hear Tony's drunken giggle in reply. He'd been your guardian after that, over 21 with a kid sister who he immediately sent to boarding school. You wish so desperately you couldn't hear that drunken giggle, that you could press your hands to your own ears.
There's a voice that brings your attention back to the moment before Obadiah says his harsh words and Tony giggles again. Bob? Is Bucky looking for Bob? You call for Bucky and hear him call for Bob again. You listen to his voice, seeming to come from a mirror, and take hold of the phone sitting next to it. With a wave of your magic telephone, the mirror shatters and you climb through, careful to press your hand to your abdomen to protect it.
A silver Cadillac sits wrecked with its front end smashed into a tree. Your heart drops and you close your eyes when you see the silver arm, black leather, and pistol. You can't be here. This secret hurts too much.
You hear him call to you, but you're too afraid to look up. You feel arms wrap around you and you look up to him and a sob escapes you. “Bucky, what is this?” He shakes his head.
“Nothing good. Why are you here?” You tense and he pulls you to him at the sound of a shot and you press your face hard into him, wrapping your arms around him to know it's him.
“I was in the Tower. Valentina was showing off and then there was this black stuff.” He nods.
“That's Bob. I’ve gotta find him and the others. Are you okay?” he asks, moving to check you over. You wave him off with a frown.
“I thought you were bringing evi-" the shot rings out again and you cry out. He pulls you to him, holding you carefully to cover your ears as the whimpers that haunted your nightmares for so long start.
“I don't know why you're in my memory of this. I'm so sorry,” he says softly after loosening that grip. You move to look up at those beautiful grey blue eyes and you carefully move to the car. The Winter Soldier stares at the pair of you and you glance to him, see the same beautiful eyes as your husband's but blankly staring at the pair of you. You look inside the back seat of the car, hidden under your father's coat you'd been using as a blanket you stare up at yourself, face blank like the Soldier's.
“You were…” he starts as the memory begins playing again. You nod. The gun fires and you stare into each other's eyes as he troubles through this secret you've kept from him. He looks up and you follow his gaze to a puddle in the road. “Stay with me. I'll keep you safe,” he promises and you'll have to bring it up when you get out of here. If you get out of here.
At the thought, you dig your heels into the dirt and stop him. “Bucky, I swear I only have one more secret I didn’t know how to tell you.” He stops in a half turn so you can only see half the painful, betrayed look on his face. “I didn't want to tell you until there was a heartbeat.” Your words drag his eyes to yours and that pain contorts into a moment of confusion before his eyebrows raise and tears well a little.
“A heartbeat?” he asks, his voice cracking. You nod and his eyes flick to the background. He pulls you to him, pressing his hands over your ears as your hand moves to his eyes. You don't want him to see it again, the murder of your child’s grandparents at their father's hands. The scene plays out and he uncovers your ears so you uncover his eyes.
“We need to get out of here,” you tell him and he nods. He grabs you in his arms and jumps into the puddle. You expect to feel wet, but only feel cold as he sets you back on your feet, but keeps you close, holds you so you can't see whatever scene is playing ahead of him. All you can see is the fear as you hear him scream without his mouth moving. You feel him tremble against you and wrap your arms around him. The smell of ozone reaches you and you hold him tight, trying to bring his mind back to you.
“Bucky,” you call and it takes a moment for him to pry his eyes from the scene behind you. The grey room around you has made him tremble with fear and you just want to escape so you can hold him, let him be excited for the tiny life you carry like you should be.
The scent of ozone rises again and he screams. You pinch him and he flinches, quickly scanning the room. Something seems to catch his eye and he picks you up again. As he cradles you against him, you see a large concrete structure around you, metal tubes reaching into the ceiling. As he turns to burst through a window with his shoulder, shielding you, you see the Winter Soldier being prepared for a wipe, smell ozone, and hear his scream.
“Bob?” he asks as you burst through a wall. He sets you on your feet and pushes you behind him. You stumble and nearly trip, but he rights you quickly as he stares down Bob and a woman with a blonde dye job.
“You came for us,” Bob says with a smile to Bucky and he nods.
“What did you see? Are you okay?” she asks and raises an eyebrow at you as you peak around Bucky.
“Oh, I'm fine. I have a great past, so I'm totally fine,” he comments and you pinch him again. He grumbles and swats gently at you.
“Is that your wife? I've seen pictures of you. The Little Stark Princess?” the woman asks and you can't help rolling your eyes. You haven't been called that in at least a decade. Just as you move to introduce yourself, a few more people burst in and the conversation focuses on Bob. Bucky glances to you nervously, then to Bob.
“Hey, can she stay here? Would she be safe?” he asks of Bob who flounders for an answer.
“Well, a pillow almost strangled us, so maybe keep her behind her big scary husband shield?” the blonde offers and you decide you might like her if she never calls you princess again. Bucky takes your hand and you put a hand carefully on your stomach for a moment before you're suddenly being whisked through memories. They're chaotic and awful. There's abuse and trauma. Russian Santa is almost taken out by a chicken before Bucky hands you off to the blonde and punches him. Bob apologizes quickly before you set off again and when you find yourself in a lab, Bucky is quick to put you behind him again.
“I promise to protect you,” he says softly and you squeeze his hand. You trust him with your life, always will. Then you're all forced back. John Walker is stabbed into a shelf. The woman and Russian Santa are thrown against the door with something metal. Bucky shields you with his body as a piece of pipe wraps around him, pinning you both against the end of another shelf with your hands over your stomach. Everything moves so fast it's hard to catch as Bucky and these people plead with Bob as he pounds his fists into the shadow person. Suddenly the blonde woman is running as various instruments from the labs try and stop her. Your mouth falls open as you watch the amazing acrobatic feats performed, reminding you of the other superheroes that were in your life.
“She's one of the good guys?” you ask Bucky and he nods. He pushes up with his forearms, is able to move the pipe around him, and finally it falls free. You take a deep breath and shove him forward when he hesitates and he takes off quickly to join the others running to join the blonde hugging Bob. You hear sobbing as the memory stops, then in the blink of an eye, you find yourself on the street with Bucky and the others. He throws his arm around you and you feel his shoulders relax again. You'll happily help bear the weight of the world on his shoulders so long as he reminds you how much you can matter to someone.
“So that wasn’t some crazy fantasy?” he asks, looking somehow equally terrified as joyous and you nod.
“If your hearings as good as you claim, you should be hearing a heartbeat any day now.” He gives a laugh like it punches the air out of him and you wrap your arms around him.
“Gross,” you hear one of the women say and glance over to see the dark haired one looking away.
“Baby super soldiers?” linebacker Santa says and you smile a little. Bucky's staring at you like you're his world as you turn and tug him so he's at least facing the others.
You're just about to introduce yourself when you spot a dark haired rat and your heels click against the pavement as you move towards her. “No murder charges,” Bucky says as he quickly follows after you.
“I can buy my way out of it.” That gets a laugh out of him as the Blonde quickly moves forward to intercept the Contessa. The rat gives an awkward smile as she quickly moves through the curtain and you all follow after. You stomach flips when you see the reporters, but you quickly put on your PR face and lace your fingers through Bucky's.
“…the New Avengers.” You stomach drops when you realize what she's done. How dare she take the name your brother and his team thought up? How dare she think she has any right? How dare she even think about putting Bucky on it?
Immediately, your heels are clicking against the platform as you put an arm around Valentina's shoulders with a winning Stark brand smile. “Thank you Contessa,” you say and the Blonde moves forward. You just hear here whisper in Val's ear, the sound if a knife against a throat in the political world.
“We own you.” Oh how right she is, but the rat will not be running this circus.
“The Contessa De Fontaine has been working closely with myself and Congressman Barnes to assess and train potential candidates for the New Avengers. It was meant to be a surprise for Bucky's re-election campaign, but you know how things go when the world goes sideways.” Another winning smile and you feel an arm settle on your waist. And the cycle goes spinning. You're good at the spiels, the PR type stuff. Your lawyering skills show through in the best ways in times of public crisis, something Pepper always appreciated much more than Tony. A few more well chosen and it's like you've been planning this for months, maybe even years. “And now I'll hand it over to the most handsome man I've ever met for introductions,” you say with a wink since you still have no fucking clue who these people are. They each wave and you refuse questions. There will be introductory videos to follow so the public can learn about those defending them.
As soon as you make it somewhere private with your team, you dig through your purse for your phone and scroll for Sam's number. The first call goes to voicemail. The second goes to voicemail. The third rings until it goes to voicemail and you go fishing in Bucky's pockets for his phone.
“Doll?” he asks and you frown.
“Call Sam. Tell him what the fuck just happened cause if he wanted to be on this stupid team…” you trail off and he puts his hands to your cheeks, uses his thumbs to gently wipe the tears from your cheeks.
“Hey, look at me. This from now or those memories eating you up?” You shrug and he pulls you close and you let the tears fall.
“Fucking hormones, too, probably.” You know he's smirking a little as he holds you close. You wanted to tell him over dinner or wrapped up together in bed, somewhere private, but this would do for now.
He takes a deep breath and you follow suit, something his new therapist had taught him to help with anxiety. You move to smile at him when you're calm and after a quick peck, he turns to the team. “All right, we're gonna figure all this out with time, but first on the agenda, therapy. You guys are gonna hate it with every fiber of your being.”
There's a collective groan from everyone but Bob who simply asks, “Do we have to pay?”
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Sammy has a fist in her mouth as she sits on your hip, staring at the buttons of the elevator. You smile a little at the still broken button for your floor and pop her up a second to readjust. She's a squirmer and likes to test the limits of anyone not genetically engineered or a trained assassin. You glance around and spot the team coming back from a mission. And Sammy is immediately grabby hands for her Lena.
“Hello my little angel baby,” Yelena says in her sweetest voice, used on both animals and babies as she moves to steal the child.
“No weapons if you’re holding the baby,” Bucky warns and gets an eyeroll from both you and Yelena. It might be different if he weren’t the reason for that rule and Sammy's fascination with the rubber training knives.
Yelena quickly steps away to put her weapons away as you set Sammy by the table so she can start scooching around holding onto it and Bucky sits heavily in his seat. “Another lovely conversation with someone's namesake?” you ask and Bucky nods. Stubborn men. He leans forward and Sammy moves to him before she spies Yelena and falls on her butt, hands grabbing for the blonde who immediately scoops her up. You sit in front of him on the coffee table, hands finding his knees and smile gently.
“Do we need to make a trip?” you ask and he sighs, rubbing his temples.
“I don't know.”
There's a ping and you glance to Yelena as she looks over one of the tablets, tapping it with one hand while she bounces Sammy on her other hip. “Sammy, my sweetness!” Alexei yells as he enters and Sammy lets out the sweetest giggle. You narrow your eyes at the outfit he's sporting, almost equal measures visible fabric and patches or printed advertisements.
“If you wear that outfit near a camera or outside, you will be forbidden from holding Sammy for a month.” The look of absolute shock on his face as he quickly moves to take the babe from his daughter.
“But I have solved the problem of the Avengers. We will be the Avengerz with a Zed. It is such simple solution,” he says as Sammy sticks both hands in his goatee and pull.
“I’m, we may have a bigger problem. Like space big,” Yelena says and all eyes are on her.
“Space? How can we have a space problem, this building is huge,” Walker offers and every day it amazes you how little his serum advanced his intelligence.
“No, outer space.”
“It wasn't me,” Bob offers from his easy chair off to the side. He looks comfortable, safe. While he steers clear of holding Sammy, you're glad he's been making progress with the on site therapists you hired. Kids just terrify the poor guy, even if he sometimes looks desperate to interact with the tiny girl.
Yelena drags the image up and to the larger television screens. There, you see a space craft and as it turns, you see the number four on the side. You pull your phone up and hail FRIDAY before you hear a tiny voice in the direction of Alexei. “San-a.” The looks of nervousness and slight fear look to Sammy as Alexei lets out a loud cheer.
“I am her first word!” he cries and you let out a terrified laugh. Of course on the day a UFO enters the atmosphere your daughter let's slip her first word and dubs Alexei Santa.