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Christmas. The sexiest time of the year.
That's an overstatement, any time of the year is sexy.
However, spending christmas with 6 extremly sexy individuals makes everything so much more sexier.
And spending the beginning of this sexy december with none other then Sarukawa Kei truly must be what will bring the Charisma of Sex to his climax.
“Aah, Sarukawa..have you prepared your gifts for the gift exchange party yet?”
“Haah? No shot! I ain't participating in no gift exchange party!”
“Sarukawa, you must get the gifts! Last time, those gifts you gave us we're very sexy, and I must see what else sexy you'd have in store for us this year!”
“I ain't doin' this with any of you, Santa Claus is the guy who brings the presents, right? So if he ain't bringing me any, why should I?”
“Ah..your belief in Santa Claus is so sexy, Sarukawa.”
“Shuddup. You ain't getting it. Santa's a real guy, it's obvious. It's like you're actin' like he ain't real or something.”
“Ohhh..sexyy...”
“And if his ass ain't coming this year again, I might just hunt him down on christmas day and force it all outta him.”
“SEXYYYYYY!!!”
“Huh? What's your problem, pervert?”
“Thank you.”
“I'm leavin'. Bye.”
“Oh..how sexy...a strong man's belief in something unreal is truly the sexiest thing of all.”
Of course, 𝘢𝘭𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 everything is sexy. But seeing Sarukawa be so passionate about the existence of Santa Claus and threatening to torture those gifts out of that old man is truly what makes this shared feeling of sexiness burst.
Something else that Amahiko could deem sexy was sneaking around the sharehouse at night. Ohse did this often, and Amahiko couldn't help but imagine how sexy something like this was! So, of course it'd 𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘰 be sexy if Amahiko himself sneaked around the house. Better yet, dressed as the one and only Santa Claus in such a sexy costume, that it'd spread that feeling of ecstacy to all of his housemates on this wonderful holiday.
Sarukawa was ready. He was ready to beat the shit out of Santa Claus.
Or maybe he won't. Unless that old man really asks for it.
It's not Sarukawa's fault he hasn't gotten presents from the guy for..too many years to count.
Everyone was already asleep anyway. So being on guard in the house for any sign of an old man with a beard shouldn't be such an issue.
“Ho..Ho..Ho..”
Sarukawa found him. He found Santa Claus.
He watched as the old man walked down the stairs of the sharehouse, not beginning to question how the man got into the house through upstairs in the first place.
“Merry Sexymas..ho ho ho...!”
Santa's a weird guy. Sarukawa didn't expect Santa to be a perverted old man.
“Ahaha..I wonder if there are any..sexy men in this sexy sharehouAGGHH AAOOUWW SARUKAWA STOP!!! NOT SEXY NOT SEXY THIS HURTS!!! SARUKAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!”
Sarukawa begin pulling the old (perverted) man's hair, kinda just cause he seemed like a freak, and that was worse than not giving Sarukawa any presents at all.
“Sarukawa, please stop pulling my haiAGAGHHHJJHHHHHHHHHH!!!”
“Shuddup! I don't take orders from a perverted Santa Claus!!!”
“PPPPPPPPPPPPP!!! Saru, why're you up this late?! Everyone is trying to sleep, and you're disobeying the law!!”
“The law doesn't tell me what to do. So piss off, I'm tryna fight this perverted Santa Claus.”
“P-p-..perverted Santa Claus...? Saru, have you lost your mind?!”
“Shuddup!! I'm doin' your stupid ass a favor.”
“No, it isn't about that, Sarukawa..”
As the lights switched on, the view of this "perverted Santa Claus" became very clear to Sarukawa.
Amahiko was Santa Claus.
"The hell?! You're Santa?! For real?!”
“Ahh..despite the hair pulling, which, usually is quite sexy, this all has gotten so much more sexier..! Ho Ho Ho!”
“PPPPPPP!!!!! Everyone, back to bed, please!!! And Amahiko, please don't wear things like this again...your..p-p-p-..cojone's are quite..visible.”
“I can't fuckin' believe it..all theese years, this pervert has been Santa Claus all along..?”
“Saru, you know, Santa Claus isn't...nevermind, I won't get into this mess any longer.”
Charisma Charge, Success.
