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“Hi,” James crossed his legs beside Lily, facing the sunset on the Great Lake. “Alright, Evans?”
“Yeah,” it came out as a sigh more than it was a word.
“Come on,” James encouraged. “What's bothering our great Head Girl?”
Her lips formed a small smile, James saw it. She started talking softly, “It's just… hard. This school isn't like any other schools out there, I couldn't just tell Slytherins to stop hexing poor younger kids just because I am Head Girl. What’s a Head Girl if they're all planning to be Death Eaters after graduation, right?”
James glanced at Lily, catching the way her red hair glowed as the sunlight hit it. It looked like she also became a sun of her own. There was evident sadness and aggravation in her face and yet, beneath all of it, her gentleness stayed.
“Hey,” he put his left hand on her right shoulder. “I know it's hard, but don't keep all this frustration to yourself, yeah? I'd like to remind you that I'm the Head Boy too, you know. And we're going to go through this together. Alright?”
She let out a small chuckle, a sign of relief. She glances at James for a few seconds before turning her face again towards the setting sun. “Alright.”
“Now that's better, isn't it?” He ruffled her hair softly, definitely not the same energy he uses to tousle his own.
“Very much better. Thank you, James.”
Lily woke up sweating in a dark air-conditioned room. The moon was still shining bright in the sky. She looked at the digital clock on her nightstand, displaying 02:42 in neon red lights.
She sat up and covered her face using both of her hands. “Stupid dream,” she whispered.
Her heart thudded hard, the way it would if she had sprinted down a few blocks. She hated dreams like this, the ones that let her see him again as if nothing had changed, as if warm conversations were still theirs to share. She had just begun settling into her new place, getting to know her neighbors, easing herself into a different environment. Then he showed up out of nowhere, unprovoked, slipping back into her mind as easily as ever.
The dream truly happened years ago, yet it's not accurate, which is funny to her. It's like she conditioned her mind to not include the bad parts, just the moments where it felt like their hearts were beating at the same time.
Her chest kept pounding in that uneven rhythm, so she pushed herself out of bed and flicked on the lights. She padded toward the kitchen, still half wrapped in sleep, and reached for a glass. Maybe, just maybe, some cold water would settle her nerves, ease everything back down a little. It was the only thing she could think of doing, as there wasn’t much else she could do, anyway.
She went back to bed, laying as still as a log while staring at the ceiling full of glow in the dark star stickers. She physically couldn't go back to sleep, and there's so much to think about and it hurts. Not tonight when she'll be in her new job by the morning.
That same night, at almost the exact same hour, James was knee-deep in the mess of his closet. He was packing up his life to move to London, to the same apartment complex where Sirius lived, determined to give himself a clean slate. He’d spent far too many weeks drowning in grief, mourning the dead and the living all at once, and he finally understood he couldn’t keep doing that to himself.
Walking away from the manor he’d grown up in had been one of the hardest choices he’d ever made. Every corner of the house held a memory, every room tugged at him with echoes of laughter, footsteps, warmth. Staying meant living day after day with the ghosts of his parents and the ache of everything he’d lost. That was just too painful to bear anymore.
While picking out jeans he's going to keep in the city, a small piece of parchment fell from a black school trouser. Not knowing its contents, he picked it up to read.
James,
Thank you so much for your gift, the necklace is absolutely beautiful! It’s amazing and wonderful and every lovely word I can think of. You were the first person to notice that my favorite flowers are orchids and not lilies, even though I never actually told you that. I truly, truly appreciate it. I love it so much. And I love YOU so much more!!!
And I hope my gift has reached you by now. I really hope you like it!
P.S. I hope you fed Lali. If she hasn't come yet, please feed her haha thank you!
Love,
Lily
Without any warning from his brain, he dropped and tears cascaded down his face. His hands curled into fists that covered both his eyes, murmuring her name while he uncontrollably sobs.
“Fuck,” he said as he calmed down, managing to plaster a small grin for how pathetic he looks right now.
He sat on his bed, staring at the wet paper in his hands. He examined it, as if he was trying to memorize every stroke of her neat handwriting. Even her writing is as beautiful as her face, delivering messages as pure as her soul.
To think that he's no longer going to receive a letter with her name scared him.
Was it really over for the two of them? Was that really it?
Lily leaned comfortably on the creaking chair. Quill in hand, a piece of old parchment on top of her study table. After a few minutes going back and forth and fighting with her thoughts, she started writing.
James rummaged through his old drawers, trying to find an extra quill, a bottle of ink, and some parchment. When he found what he needed, he positioned himself on the floor and wrote the first words.
My Dear James…
My Dearest, Lily…