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"No, dad, I don't need you to send me anything," Chris laughed lightly as she tucked the bulky public phone between her ear and her shoulder, cradling it. "No, the heat isn't bothering me too much, I'll just have to get used to it, I suppose."
It was her first day stationed in Jaburo, she landed only a couple hours earlier. The muggy air was very new to her but here, underground in the base proper, it wasn't so bad.
The general atmosphere around was one of heavy relief with the war being officially over- so much different than the last time she was stationed on Earth (or what it had been like on the base on Side 6). People smiled at her when she walked by, she heard laughing from the barracks as she was finding the mess hall with the phones.
Chris still felt uneasy though. Something was wrong. It was impossible to pin down what. She'd been feeling a looming sense of dread ever since she woke up in hospital after the ALEX was wrecked- probably just her nerves getting the better of her, she'd heard of it happening to other people.
As her dad put her mum back on and they were wishing her well one last time before heading to bed, Chris spun, leaning her back on the wall and cast her gaze over the canteen. That feeling of dread intensified.
There wasn't a lot of people around -it being before dinner but after lunch- so it was pretty easy to spot that someone was staring at her. Unflinchingly.
Tensing, she turned her head, dismissing her parents as quickly and pleasantly as possible and tried not to panic. Maybe it was a mistake?
After hanging the phone back on the hook, she turned back around just enough to catch the stranger out of the corner of her eye, this made two things clear.
First, that he was still looking at her. Blankly. With big, dark eyes that seemed to be staring through her more than at her directly- which was a small comfort, maybe he'd just zoned out?
Second… That was a child, right? Maybe he was just short (in which this would be an incredibly embarrassing thing for her to assume) but he had incredibly boyish features too, and was sat more like a bored, moody teenager than a soldier.
The boy (?) didn't flinch away even when Chris fully turned to face him and was clearly looking at him back. The dread dissipated and was replaced by a deep curiosity and confusion about what a child was doing in the EFF's main base. He could be an officer's son, or a trainee, she supposed. One of his arms was in a sling, a lot like the one she'd had until recently. He had a jacket on, too, but only his good arm was through it.
Determined to get to the bottom of this, she strode towards him, stopping at his table and having to wave a little in front of his face to get him to start and look up at her.
"Oh, hello." He smiled, nervous but genuine, straitening his back. Chris smiled back, deciding not to lean down to his level to avoid coming across as demeaning.
"Hi," She consciously sweetened her voice, adopting the tone she used when talking to Al back home. Really a kid shouldn't be in here, there was a separate place to eat in one of the residential blocks for civilians. Chris didn't really care about that, the rules had likely loosened now anyway, but she did want answers. "Are you lost?"
"Wh- lost? No. No, I just don't have anywhere else to be," The question seemed to offend him a little before he smoothed the reaction away with an awkward laugh. Rubbing the back of his neck with the hand he could use, his eyes darted away from hers. She could hear him kicking his feet under the table, rapping on the concrete floor repeatedly. "I have a lot of free time with the fighting stopped, I don't really know what to do with it."
Puzzled, Chris tilted her head. "What about your family? Are you here with them?"
The kid's smile dropped and Chris was suddenly very aware of how sensitive that subject might be to a child on a military base, before she could retract the question an apologise though, someone tapped her on the shoulder.
"Lieutenant Mackenzie! Do you have a moment?" The WO who'd welcomed her, who's name she couldn't remember, was stood behind her. His smile was amicable but a little strained in a way it hadn't been when she'd met him. He stepped a couple paces away, clearly expecting her to follow; she shot the boy an apologetic glance before following after him.
"I see no one's explained the situation on base to you?" The WO wasn't smiling anymore, now that they were facing away from the kid, and he had lowered his tone to a near-whisper. Chris began to feel very uneasy again.
"No, I can't say they have." It was hard to disguise the creeping suspicion in her voice, she did meet his volume, however uncomfortable it felt to be obviously whispering about a child in front of them.
"That's the RX-78-2's pilot. He's only here temporally- till the higher-ups can figure out what to do with 'im." His tone was serious and a little dry, like this was something he'd been explaining a lot to people lately. The casual bluntness of it caught Chris off guard, there was a beat where nothing moved and no one said anything- like time had been frozen in place.
Her brain catching up to her body, Chris balked and paled. She stammered a little and shook her head in disbelief with so much force some of her hair fell from her braid and over her face. What?
"Him? But-but he's-" She really, truly couldn't believe it. That White Base 'freak' they were developing the ALEX for. He was so small. She felt sick.
He was so small.
"Some kid? Yeah. God knows how he wound up deploying in the first place, but he's got more kills than most entire regiments- we can't exactly let him loose," The WO gave her a sympathetic look. "I'm not gonna tell you not to talk to 'im, I just thought you should know."
With that he nodded at her and walked away, like he hadn't just dispensed a bout of horrific information about what the Earth Federation was willing to turn a blind eye to if it meant more dead Zeeks. Chris supposed it did work- they had won the war; in no small part due to the participation of the kid behind her. The revelation that their victory had apparently hinged on a child left her throat dry and her hands clammy.
She wasn't so naive as to be unaware of the use of child soldiers in the federation but never had she seen it condoned in such an official capacity. And never had she seen any soldier with a record like the Gundam pilot's. It was hard to accept his age with all of the violent stories she'd heard about him rattling around her head.
Steeling herself, she sighed and turned back around. As much as she wanted to find her bed and scream into a pillow about this- she couldn't in good conscience abandon the kid (who's name her W.O had apparently forgot to mention) to solitude just because his identity was a lot for her to take in. Okay. Deep breath.
"I heard you both," Chris paused as she came to stand in her earlier spot. The kid looked forlorn- he was chewing on his thumbnail with his front teeth, his words were a little muffled around it. "I don't understand why everyone's acting so weird about it now. No one cared while it was happening."
Incredibly uncomfortable, Chris forced herself to sit opposite him and smile politely. The kid seemed surprised at that, dropping his hand on the table as he watched her face with a look bordering on confusion.
"Well, he told me about your exploits, but I don't know your name," He seemed oblivious to what Chris was prompting, so she decided to go first. "I'm Lieutenant Christina Mackenzie- but you can call me Chris if you'd like."
"Oh. I'm Amuro," He mumbled, embarrassed. When he met her eyes again, realisation dawned on his face. His back snapped ramrod straight and he saluted so quickly Chris had to restrain a flinch. "I mean- Second-Lieutenant Amuro Ray, miss."
It was a little endearing but mostly unsettling how he emulated the posture of a soldier even as his face flushed a little red and his cheeks puffed with the strain of clenching his jaw.
"Hey, there's no need for that, you're off duty right?" She gestured to his clearly civilian clothing, mostly so he'd stop posturing. Chris didn't know if she could sit and watch this kid mutilate himself in front of her and pretend it was normal.
"I guess I am," A smile found its way on his face- genuine and relieved. Chris ' shoulders relaxed as his did. "Yeah, I am."
"I'm sure that's good for you- a boy your age shouldn't have to be here." She really didn't want to keep thinking about it, but how could she not?
"It's okay! They've told me I shouldn't be here too long. It's not so bad, the beds are better than they were on White Base," Amuro had perked up significantly, now. His eyes were shining like the stars from his tenure in space had gotten trapped in them. "I just miss my friends, mostly."
"Well, I'm sure you'll see them again soon," Chris found her smile becoming less and less forced as Amuro brightened, it was strange how his emotions appeared to be infectious. "You can tell me about them, if you'd like."
The following 2 hours, Chris spent being regaled with the various anecdotes that came to Amuro's mind about that top-secret military base and her (disconcertingly young and inexperienced) crew. Amuro wasn't a particularly good storyteller, but he was passionate and it was clear from his descriptions how deep the care in his heart ran for the people he'd become close to.
Chris found herself dozing off after a while, though. Which the boy caught onto fast, and offered to walk her to the military barracks. He gave a pause when Chris told her the bunk she'd been assigned.
"Oh," Amuro suddenly looked very embarrassed. "I think you're with me."
"Really?" Why'd they put her with the child? Chris supposed the base was probably jammed full of military personal and refugees alike- she couldn't afford to be picky.
Besides, despite his reputation, Amuro seemed to be a perfectly fine kid. It's not like Chris had to be concerned with him killing her in her sleep or something. Probably.
"That's not so bad, then. At least we already know each other," Chris smiled pleasantly as she stood. "Do you still want to walk me? I can find it myself if not."
"No! No, I'll take you. I have something to grab anyway." Amuro got out of his chair in such a hurry he stumbled over one of its legs and had to catch himself on the table with his left hand. He looked up at Chris, flushed, as she covered her mouth to restrain a giggle. Brushing himself off he started walking in the direction of the barracks.
Chris trailed behind him leisurely, taking the extra chance to look around (the ceiling of the cave was so high she couldn't see where it ended, the rock obscuring into black shadows). It was around lunch now, and they passed a group of soldiers on their way to the mess hall. It was impossible to miss how Amuro's back straightened and his gate became more of a march when they came into view- a couple of them stared at him, and then waved at Chris.
Amuro rushed into their quarters before she could poke in her head. He was hurriedly picking discarded clothes of- presumably- her side of the room and tossing them onto his bed. Now only half of the room was littered with them and- were those Mobile Suit internals?
"Sorry it's such a mess I wasn't expecting…" Amuro trailed off as he took in the mess at his feet, like he'd only just realised how bad it was in here. Chris laughed.
"No, it's okay. As long as it's not on my half- I'm not cleaning up after you." She kept her tone light but she was serious. Really, he should know how to do it himself by now. Al had more care for his personal space than this kid seemed to.
Amuro made some kind of abashed, affirmative squeak and then spun away from her to riffle through a pile of items at the foot of his bed.
Sitting on her own cot, Chris was delighted to see that her luggage was already in here. It was only now dawning on her how tired she was and, if she didn't have her nightwear readily available, she probably would've slept in her uniform.
Seemingly finding what he was looking for, Amuro spun to face Chris and stood, nervously. He clearly needed to leave but was unsure of how to end their interaction.
Chris recognised the little booklet he was holding- it was a medical record all Federation soldiers were required to bring to appointments to document them. She'd become very familiar with her own while getting her arm treated. Amuro must've been getting a check up of some kind.
"Oh, do you have a doctor's visit?" Chris smiled at him but couldn't maintain it when Amuro tensed at the question. He was more than just nervous, it seemed, and Chris wasn't so sure it stemmed from social awkwardness anymore.
"Um, yeah. I should- I should get going." Reluctantly, Amuro started walking towards the door, taking a few awkwardly big steps over the clutter on the ground.
"I'm going to sleep now, but I'll see you later, okay?" That deep uneasiness was back, Amuro was tense with something approaching fear. Whatever the reason for that, she wanted him to know she'd still be there after he faced it. "Good luck."
For a beat, Amuro studied her cautiously, then his expression melted into a small smile.
"Thanks." It was a near whisper, breathy with relief. With that, he stepped out the door- closing it gently behind him.
Finally relaxing her shoulders, Chris let out a long sigh, flopping onto the thin mattress. The last couple hours had given her a lot to thing about, but the travelling fatigue and pain medication she was still on were eating at her consciousness. She could think about the implications of the Federation's best and most impressionable soldier tomorrow. She needed to get some rest.
Dragging herself out of bed, she managed to get her pyjamas on and fold her uniform at the foot of her bed (maybe she could lead Amuro by example?). She tugged her hair out of its braid and placer her bobble on the little bedside table they were afforded. Her head barely hit the pillow before she was out like a light.
Scrunching her face, Chris stirred. Something had woken her up. There was another presence in the room. Chris' mind jumped to her earlier worry that the boy would try and kill her while she slept and she tensed.
Cracking her eyes open provided her with no information- the world around her was pitch black. There was a small, uneven noise filling them empty space. It took a few moments for the sleepy daze to dissipate enough for Chris to realise it was sniffling.
Her head cleared in an instant, Chris slowly sat up and turned to where Amuro's bed was. As her eyes adjusted she could just begin to about make out the contour of his small frame under a thin blanket. He was shaking and facing away from her- which meant he was putting pressure on his injured arm. His mouth must've been covered in an attempt to stifle the noise. Chris doubted he'd realised she moved.
"Amuro?" Her voice was hoarse with sleep but she spoke softly, the last thing she wanted was for him to assume he'd be reprimanded for crying.
Amuro jumped like she'd yelled at him anyway- snapping his head around to look at her. His eyes were blown wide, dilated in the dark, and wet with tears. The dim light of the flood lamps outside caught on the streaks down his face.
Adrenaline spiking, Chris climbed out of bed and switched on the small light on her bedside, staying low to the ground and coming to kneel on her haunches next to Amuro's head, never breaking eye contact with him. The way he was staring at her, flinching at any sudden movement, put her in mind of a feral animal; the comparison leaving a sickly weight in her stomach.
He hadn't motioned to sit up, but he did spin around to fully face her- wincing as his hurt shoulder shifted. Quiet sobs shook his body all throughout.
"I'm sorry," The words were strained coming out of his throat- he was fighting back more tears. "I w-woke you up."
That seemed to set him off again his face contorting and his hand clasping over his mouth in an attempt to hold in his weeping.
"Hey, hey, it's okay- really. It's okay," She brushed his bangs out of his eyes with the lightest touch she could manage, wet as they were with tears, snot, and grease. Amuro choked back another bawl so hard it sounded painful. Chris was a little worried he was going to start throwing up. "Can you sit up?"
Weakly, Amuro nodded, and slowly shifted himself upwards. Chris raised herself to meet him, sitting on the edge of his bed with a respectable distance between them. Something sharp and metal dug into her foot as she did and she had to restrain a grimace.
Amuro was sat, legs crossed, with his head lowered and gaze cast towards his legs rather than at Chris. His left hand was roughly gripping the blanket over him while the other lay limply at his side without the sling to support it. At a loss for anything else to do, Chris gently grabbed the back of his neck and pulled his head onto her shoulder, embracing him while carefully avoiding his injury.
With how his body went taut, Chris was briefly afraid the gesture would only serve to make Amuro feel boxed in. But, soon, he was grasping desperately at the back of her nightshirt and leaning into the contact as he cried.
He kept muttering apologies intermittently no matter how many times Chris tried to mollify whatever guilt he was feeling for being upset in front of her, so she resolved to rub circles into his back instead.
It took a while for him to calm down. He moved away from Chris just enough to wipe his face with the hem of his undershirt and he then returned, bringing his knees up to his chest and resting his full weight against her- his left hand grabbing at the wound on his shoulder. The thin body in Chris' arms was still racked with shakes, but his breathing had begun to steady. What she could see of his eyes were clouded and far away.
"Do you-" Chris cut herself off in surprise when he actually turned his head up to look her in the eyes. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Amuro shifted a little, uncomfortable, and looked away from her again. "No."
The rebuff was soft and Chris didn't push. She had a pretty good idea of what he was thinking about, anyway; the way his hand had started to rub lightly up and down his bandages and he curled in further on himself.
Needing to say something, she took a gamble.
"I have one too." She pulled the short sleeve of her nightshirt up enough to show Amuro the dressings she still had on her arm.
"You do," It was disconcerting watching how Amuro's face shifted as he focused on something- his glazed-over eyes clearing, staring unblinking at Chris' treated wound. For whatever reason, it made her feel hunted- though nothing about Amuro's demeanour should've incited such a reaction. "Why?"
"It was in a mobile suit battle, some of the shrapnel-" Chris had barely began before Amuro jumped away from her, falling with his back against the wall.
"You're a pilot?!" If it wasn't for his ruddy face and bloodshot eyes, it would've been impossible to tell that he'd been crying. He was looking up at Chris with shock so deep his mouth hung open. Chris snickered a little despite herself.
"Is it that surprising?" It wasn't the first time someone had been stunned by her profession (in fact, her unassuming appearance was probably as much of a factor for her getting selected for the ALEX project as her high proficiency in the simulator) but she'd never seen it this bad. Amuro looked like his worldview had been shattered.
"Wh- no! No. It's just- you remind of someone I knew in the supply corps so- I just assumed-" Chris was once again reminded of Amuro's lack of world experience. He looked incredibly embarrassed again, holding his hand up like Chris was pointing a gun at him instead of a slightly chiding gaze. His arm dropped as his sullen expression returned. "You're too kind to be a pilot."
That was interesting, and a little sad. Chris wondered where he'd gotten that idea from. She supposed he was right, to an extent. She never would've chosen to take other lives if the choice was hers to have, surely a repeated compromising of morals like that would change a person. Perhaps it changed Amuro- the people he knew.
"I mean, I was there to test an MS. I was never meant to be in live combat."
Amuro smiled at her, seemingly satisfied with that.
"That's true for most of the pilots I know." His posture was relaxed again, now, and thinking of his friends seemed to liven his spirits. Chris remembered from his recounts earlier that most of them were around his age. It was a shame he was apart from them like this.
"I'd say you're situation is pretty unusual, though." That got a little laugh out of him and Chris couldn't help but smile back at him.
"I guess you're right." With that, Amuro yawned, blinking slowly. Chris tilted her head.
"Are you ready to get some rest?" She hoped he would. All that crying must've exhausted him.
"Thank you," Amuro nodded, rubbing his eye with the back of his hand. "A lot."
"Aw, it's okay," Chris stood and stepped back over to her cot. "You shouldn't have to go through this alone."
After peering at her for a little while longer, Amuro curled back up under the covers- facing her this time. Chris turned off the light and lay down herself.
Dear Al,
I Hope school is going well for you! Not getting into too much trouble? If you are, It'd better be the fun kind!
I'm all settled in now, properly. The place I'm staying is so much bigger than I imagined it would be, and there's so many people! So many of them have interesting stories to tell and lessons to teach. Everyone's so happy to be living peaceful lives again, too.
I've met someone here who reminds me a lot of you. They're a little older, but they've got the same passion for Mobile Suits and they know a whole lot about them (maybe even more than some mechanics I know!). I wish you could meet them- I think you'd be fast friends.
Tell your parents I hope they're doing well! And if you see Bernie, tell him too!
If you get the chance, send me a letter back. It'd be great to catch up with you!
Lots of love,
Chris.
It was few days since Chris arrived in Jaburo before she was called to her first test piloting session. As she was walking to her station, she passed by one of the medical buildings. Amuro was outside, staring blankly at nothing.
He perked up as he spotted her, then- just as quickly- his face dropped. He yelled while running up to her.
"Chris! There's not trouble is there? The sirens aren't going off." Of course he'd be panicked seeing her dressed for combat, she smiled at him- maintaining a leisurely posture to try and sooth his concern.
"I'm scheduled for a couple simulations in a new Mobile Suit, I'm just off to the hanger." For whatever reason, talking about it left a lump in her throat. Strange. Amuro sighed in visible relief. Then smiled up at her.
"Oh, cool! Can I come with you? I'm all done here." If Amuro had noticed her voice wavering he didn't show it.
As far as she was aware, Amuro hadn't been allowed anywhere near Mobile Suits that were even half constructed since he got here; he'd been fiddling with whatever scraps the mechanics didn't need anymore in their shared room instead of sleeping.
Chris thought of how her family had left the bits of the turkey nobody wanted for the cat last Christmas. Amuro seemed to need contact with those machines as much as he needed food. Maybe more.
"Of course! It'll be more bearable with a friend, anyway," Amuro's grin widened and he practically skipped in front of her towards the hanger. "Hold up! I'll need to go in with you, y'know?"
Chris found herself giggling as she had to bound a couple steps to catch up with him, even as he slowed down to a more acceptable pace.
When they entered the stout building housing the new prototypes, Amuro was practically buzzing with excitement. Chris had to keep an eye on him to make sure he wasn't going to try and climb up to the cockpit of one and get himself shot. Or get covered in still-wet paint.
"Ah, Lieutenant! You're here!" One of the mechanics approached her- a rotund man with a bushy, friendly face, he was wiping his hands with a grease-stained cloth. "And I see you've brought a plus one!"
Addressing Amuro with a grin that highlighted the crows feet next to his eyes, he gestured behind him to the suit Chris was meant to be testing today. Some kind of new model of GM, judging by the shape of the visor.
"I can't let the kid try her out, but I don't see any reason why he can't stay and watch," Before the man had even finished talking, Amuro was already on the platform at the MS's feet, gazing expectantly at Chris. She caved to a sudden impulse to ruffle his hair as she came to stand next to him before pressing the button to send the platform up. "Everything's loaded into the computer automatically so I'll leave you to it. Holler if you need any help!"
With that the mechanic spun away from them to get back to work. Chris took a deep breath and affixed her helmet to her head. Had this thing always been so suffocating?
Grinding her teeth, Chris sat in the pilot's seat, Amuro poked his head into the cockpit but didn't climb in after her, like there was an invisible barrier blocking his entry (which Chris was a little relieved for, she was already feeling unnaturally claustrophobic).
"I wasn't expecting it to look so different inside." Amuro was drinking the little compartment in with wide-eyes, pupils darting from place to place.
"It's a newer model, I suppose. It's not that different from the ALEX." The small talk was helping her focus, even if her heart was beating far faster than it had any right to in such a safe environment.
"The ALEX?" Amuro questioned, his gaze landing onto Chris' eyes and staying there.
"No one's told you? It was a Gundam built for Newtype use- It's what I was testing before it got destroyed and I was transferred here," Chris was a little bewildered at how in the dark this kid was concerning matters that directly applied to him. "I'm pretty sure it was built for you."
The look that crossed Amuro's face caught Chris off guard. He looked angry; not the impotent, pouty temper she'd expect to see on a teenager. It was sharp, intense, and- strangely- obsessive.
"Another Gundam- but-" Amuro spoke through gritted teeth, boring into the cold metal of the GM's face instead of Chris'. He shook his head emphatically. "And I hate that word. I'm not a Newtype just because people call me that. It's given me nothing but trouble."
As he spoke, Amuro grabbed at the crux of his left elbow. There was clearly some sort of lump there- like the cotton balls nurses taped to your arm after a blood test. Is that what they had him in Medical?
Chris' mouth suddenly felt very dry at the idea that those frequent doctor's visits Amuro was so scared of were related to his status as a potential Newtype. If the Federation had started developing a Mobile Suit for the optimisation of Amuro as a weapon- and had kept him in combat long after it was obvious how young and inexperienced he was- what else could they be doing in pursuit of that refinement?
Surely she was overthinking this. There was no way anyone would think it was okay to experiment on a child (especially one who had already sacrificed so much for the sake of a war he had no business being involved in) for weaponry, right?
Amuro, mistaking Chris' anxious pondering for him causing her some sort of distress, softened his expression and took a pace back from the opening of the cockpit.
"Sorry. It's okay. You should probably get on with the simulations." Chris nodded at him.
"We can talk about it later if you want." And she meant it. She'd have to see if she could ask around about what exactly was going on whenever those doctors got their hands on their 'First Newtype.'
"No, no. That's okay," Amuro murmured as he closed the cockpit's hatch from outside. Then, muffled though the metal. "Thank you though!"
"You're welcome!" She chuckled as she yelled back, trying to ignore the knot growing in her chest as she grabbed the GM's controls and got on with the test.
Materially, it hadn't been that long since she had last been behind the wheel of an MS- but it felt like a lifetime ago. The buttons felt foreign under her fingers, like she was doing this for the first time again. Unlike her first time piloting, though, her hands knew exactly what to do.
The GM wasn't as smooth as the ALEX, but she found herself overshooting her movements less. Her hands danced gracefully across the control panel as the false world in the viewfinder spun- as she shot down lines of code meant to emulate living, breathing people.
It felt like her body wasn't in her control. She was outside of herself, watching herself manipulate this metallic monster from above. Her breaths came increasingly ragged and strained. When the simulation ended, she found herself feeling incredibly ill, tremors racking her body.
She closed her eyes and saw the seat of that blue Zeon suit. Riddled with holes and stained with blood. Evidence of a life she'd taken and the violence she'd used to do it. It had to be done. It was either him or her. But she hadn't known him. Surely he didn't deserve to be gored through that way. Like that Zaku pilot probably didn't deserve to be ground down into paste by the force of their cockpit imploding.
She needed to get out of here. It was too cramped. She couldn't breathe.
Tearing her helmet off, she lunged for the button to get the cockpit open. Amuro was outside, beaming at her.
"That was amazing! You're really good at this." Chris hardly registered what he was saying, stumbling out of the cockpit and jabbing the button on the platform hard enough to hurt her finger. Wishing it'd drop faster. She lowered her head to look down at the ground, hair falling over her face, and willed herself not to throw up. Amuro peaked his head into her vision, suddenly very grave. "Chris?"
She didn't speak as she made a beeline for the door of the hanger, leaning her whole body weight against the outside wall as soon as it closed behind her. She covered her mouth and gagged. Her legs gave out and her back slid down the stone until she hit the ground, legs bent awkwardly. She squeezed her eyes shut as her stomach did flips.
Amuro had appeared next to her (Chris didn't know when he got there and couldn't bring herself to care). He was kneeling next to her, concerned.
"Chris? You need to breathe," When Chris blinked at him, delirious, he grabbed her by the shoulders to turn her body towards him. "Do it with me."
Taking in a deep breath, Amuro held it- his chest puffing up. Delayed, Chris did the same, then let go as the other pilot did.
This repeated a couple times- Chris occasionally breaking the rhythm to sob through her teeth- until she could steady her breathing on her own. She felt incredibly drained, all of the energy sapped from her body.
"Are you-" Amuro began, cutting himself off as he drew his hands away from Chris. His gaze was unwavering, though- focused solely on her expression. Sitting next to her, he rested his head against the wall. He spoke far softer that Chris had ever heard him."It's okay. We should sit out here for a bit."
"Amuro, do you-" Chris gulped. Her throat felt raw. Guilt and shame washed over her in waves. She was the adult here for Christ's sake. "I don't know why that happened. You shouldn't of had to do that for me. I'm sorry."
"Sorry?" Amuro arched his eyebrows at her, then shook his head. "Mobile Suits are terrifying. Both to face and to be in. You've been hurt by them before. I-I know what it's like."
He finally looked away from her, picking at his left thumb with his teeth. The nail was bitten down to the skin and the area around it red and scabbing. Taking it out of his mouth, he stared very intently ahead.
"You shouldn't have to go through this alone, either."
Dear Al,
I'm so glad I got your letter! I'm happy to hear you're enjoying school. Don't get so absorbed in your studies you forget to have fun, okay?
I was having a rough time with work, lately- but everything's all alright now. The kid I was telling you about gave me a hand and listened to me (They really are far too mature for their age. Again, a lot like you). They helped me realise I wasn't happy with what I was doing, so I've been able to talk to my bosses and move on to something else. That way, I'm still fighting, but in a way that's easier for me!
It's a good lesson, Al! Remember that, if you're struggling with something, it's always better to tell someone you care about. A burden shared is a burden halved, after all! I'm happy to hear about you making friends with that girl in your class! It's important to have people you can rely on.
Write again soon! I'm always excited to hear from you!
Love,
Chris
"What are you writing?" Amuro stopped kicking his feet, craning his head from across the room to peer at Chris as he spoke, still lying length-ways on his bed. Momentarily surprised, Chris looked up from her pen and paper to stare back. It was strange to see Amuro focus on anything else when he had something technological in his hands, he must've been very curious.
"Just a letter for my neighbour back home. I used to babysit him," Chris smiles as she folded up the letter so she could seal it and send it off. "I think something's been bothering him lately, so I want to give him something to look forward too- even if it's small."
"That's nice," Amuro flopped his head back on the mattress, continuing to examine the hunk of metal he was holding above his face. His eyes narrowed. "Maybe I should write something for Fraw…"
"It's a good way to reminisce and catch up. Be careful with what you say, though. I'm pretty sure our mail's being monitored," She stretched as she stood up from her position over her bedside. Taking her jacket from where it was hanging on the wall, she slipped into it. Quickly tying up her hair, she grabbed the letter and waved at Amuro. "I'm off then, I'll tell you how it goes."
Amuro smiled at her and she was reminded of how ecstatic he was when she told him she was planning on focusing on mechanics from now on.
"Have fun! And be careful with the white uniform pants, oil stains are really hard to get out of those."
It'd taken some pestering, but Chris had finally been allowed to sit in for one of Amuro's (increasingly frequent) doctors appointments. The man she had kept asking- the doctor stood next to her- had given her a strange look each time, and although he had eventually conceded, it had been like pulling teeth.
It didn't make sense to her that he'd be so reticent about this if he had nothing to hide, and Chris had been on edge ever since she'd been let into the lab (because that's what it was, not a hospital, a lab). Her hand was laying on her gun strapped to her hip. Just in case he tried anything.
They were stood behind the thick glass of an observation deck (it put Chris in the mind of one's she'd seen at the zoo, of all things) and Amuro was in the other room- sat in a chair with his head in a Mobile Suit simulation headset. There were leather straps keeping his arms and legs affixed and Chris had to wonder if those where at all necessary.
Everything about this was deeply strange. Amuro seemed to be controlling his MS in the simulator with nothing but his mind- which was disconcerting. Did they have that thing plugged directly into his brain? That couldn't be healthy.
There was a little screen facing them that was showing what Amuro was seeing. Chris had never seen him fight before- all of the stories she'd heard about the Gundam had been second hand; half of them were dry spreads of data and the others where clearly exaggerated, violent nonsense. Or at least she'd thought that.
This was insane. He was cleaving through Zakus, Doms, even Gelgoogs without even pausing to consider his next movement- it was all one, fluid motion. The computer could barely seem to load more meat for the grinder before Amuro had already chewed it up and spat it back out again. Chris' heart sunk into her stomach.
Amuro had been fighting like this for months- against people. Chris winced as she watched Amuro's MS plunge its open hand into the cockpit of a Braw Bro and squeeze. If those pilots were real-
Tearing her eyes away from the screen, she looked at the boy behind the glass, only a couple feet away from her. He was panting- Chris could see his chest rise and fall rapidly from where she was stood- and sweat dribbled down his face from under the visor as his arms shook. Then, she looked at the doctor. Who was instead staring at a readout on his data pad that Chris couldn't make heads or tails of at a glance.
Something in the room shifted when she lifted her eyes up to the artificial battle again and the data for a different Mobile Armour soared into view, one Chris had never seen before. The shape of it made her think of a plump, green stingray. She was about to let herself admire how cute it was before Amuro screamed.
The sound of it was terrible- pained and shrill. It rattled around Chris' skull and covering her ears did nothing to dampen the noise, as if the source of it was inside her head. Her whole body staggered like she'd been hit by a tidal wave. Heart pumping, she panicked. Was he hurt? Had something gone wrong?
She wanted to move but the air was suddenly solid around her. Taking breath was impossible. Her limbs were encased in ice. She could barely just twist her head to follow the doctor as he sprinted into the other room where Amuro was, seemingly unaffected by the abnormal pressure.
"What is your problem? What could it possibly be this time?" The doctor was, apparently, furious about this. Chris watched as he approached Amuro, arms outstretched to grab the headset.
A loud snap made its way to Chris's ears as Amuro somehow found the strength to pull his arms free of the restraints. Roughly yanking the visor from his head, he tossed it so hard into the glass panel in front of Chris that cracks spider-webbed out from the impact zone and the delicate tech shattered as it hit the floor.
Whatever was holding Chris still released all at once and she stumbled back in shock. Pain bloomed out under her temples, splitting and spotting her vision. She cursed under her breath. Suddenly, she felt very sure that Amuro was in danger.
Her hands moved faster than her brain when the doctor lunged forward and lifted Amuro by the front of his shirt- nigh choking him with it as he reared his other arm back to hit him. Chris had her gun levelled at him as soon as he'd touched the kid.
Pausing to look at her, hand mid-air. The doctor slowly lowered Amuro back down. Stepping away from him and not taking his eyes off Chris.
"There's no need for that, Lieutenant. We're all done here," Grunting as Chris lowered her gun. He quickly bent down to release the straps over Amuro's ankles. Standing and dusting himself off. "Both of you get out."
His tone left no room for negotiation, and Chris was very aware that she had stumbled onto something very dangerous and very, very wrong. She hurried into the other room, scooped Amuro into her arms (why on Earth was he so light?) and fled with him as fast as she could.
That night, Chris was awoken by the sound of shuffling. Then, the distinct clatter of the small window in the room being slid open.
She bolted upwards and snapped open her eyes to see Amuro with half of his body out of it.
"Amuro?!" She sprung up to steady him as her exclamation surprised him enough to loosen the grip he'd had on the windowsill. Chris's hand was on his arm and she couldn't help but notice the blisters he'd gotten from the straps.
After huffing a little in relief, he smiled at Chris- light and airy.
"I want to see outside. I was going to sneak out." Oh, that's what this was about. They were only on the first floor, anyway, it's not like Amuro would be heavily injured if he fell out the window. Chris found herself smiling too, revelling in the opportunity to get involved in some mischief.
"I'm coming too, I'm pretty sure I know a route that doesn't have night patrol." She'd gotten a look at the patrol stations when she'd gone to talk to her WO about becoming a mechanic. It'd just been left on on his desk.
"That doesn't seem very secure." Amuro's tone was a little incredulous but he was grinning as he talked.
"People don't care as much without the threat of Zeon. Go on! Hop down." She nudged him, playfully, and Amuro giggled before letting himself drop from the window into the little patch of faux grass behind the barracks. He looked up at her and waved her down with his good arm.
Chris felt like she was a teenager again- skulking out of her window to meet up with friends instead of resting for school. She'd been overjoyed when she'd caught Al doing the same- and she was happy to help Amuro experience something like it. To her, going behind your parent's back was an integral part of growing up. Even if the parent in this case was the EFSF.
She landed in front of Amuro with a light thud. The grass felt strange under her bed socks.
Beckoning Amuro she started padding towards a maintenance ladder tucked away in a natural alcove in the cave wall. Keeping her body low if only for the feeling of doing something risky and illicit even as they were in no real danger of being caught. It was sweet how Amuro clumsily mirrored her posture and gait, clearly enjoying it too.
She went up the ladder behind Amuro so she could help balance him as he climbed with one arm. He was using his right hand to grasp at the rungs near his waist, but it alone would not be able to support him if he slipped.
They emerged on a slope, covered in foliage and shaded by trees. The night air was significantly colder than Chris thought it would be and she couldn't restrain a shiver at the temperature change. Amuro immediately started walking up the hill.
"Watch your footing!" Chris called after him as he followed, immediately sinking her feet into the mud and cringing as she followed after him. She'd liked these socks.
Amuro didn't spin to look at her, seemingly tunnel visioned on climbing. He pushed forward for a couple minutes before he swivelled around and plunked himself down on the grass. Chris settled next to him a few moments later and instantly understood why he'd stopped here.
Before them was a gap in the trees, framing a mountain far off on the horizon that the sun was just beginning to peak over. It was absolutely beautiful. Was this why people were so obsessed with taking over Earth? If it was all for this view, Chris could bring herself to understand.
"Could you tell me about your family, Chris?" Amuro turned to her, contented and comfortable. "If you'd like to. You know all about my people now."
Although she hadn't been expecting that, Chris was happy to. Stories about her parents, Al, and Bernie moved freely from her mouth as they watched the sunrise. For a reason Chris couldn't quite place, all of it felt incredibly bittersweet. As if she was describing a place that would never exist again.
Amuro hummed and nodded as she spoke, engrossing himself in the picture of her life she was painting. He rested his head on his knees and listened until she was out of things to tell.
They sat in comfortable silence for a while, nothing but the noises of life all around them. Amuro slowly toppled over at one point and rested his head on her shoulder. Chris looped her arm around his skull and pat his hair, resting her cheek on his scalp.
"Chris-" Amuro leaned further into her but didn't turn his head. He was whispering under his breath, deeply sincere- like this was a secret he was keeping from the trees, the sky, the birds warbling far above them.
"You're everything I wish I was."
"Amuro, I-" Chris was taken aback. Before she could process what she was hearing, Amuro carried on- leaking words like an open faucet. Now he'd started, it was impossible to stop himself.
"You stand up for yourself and you're strong and pretty I know you've killed but-" Amuro gulped, voice wavering on the verge of tears. "But you're kind anyway. I wish I could-"
A wave of clarity hit Chris as Amuro stuttered. All of it made sense to her now. She looked at Amuro and finally saw her.
Chris embraced her fully, holding the girl tight to her chest.
"You can be- No," She smoothed the hair out of her face and looked her dead in the eyes, conviction in her voice she hoped would break though. "You are all of those things already."
Giving in to a very silly impulse, she pinched one of Amuro's cheeks with her thumb and forefinger. Distorting her face as she applied a little pressure to wiggle it around.
Amuro laughed, authentic and loud, and then swung both of her arms around Chris' shoulders even as the strain on her injury caused her to flinch. Chris leaned down to land her head on Amuro's shoulder.
They sat together in the cool morning air, watching the sun bathe everything in red, pink, and gold. Chris noted that every time she looked over to Amuro, she was smiling, and Chris found herself doing the same.
A couple days later, Chris woke up for her shift in the hanger to find Amuro absent; her side of the room uncharacteristically tidy, her bed made.
She proceeded not to see her the entire day, either. It was shocking how slowly time seemed to pass without that awkward, sincere teenager shadowing her.
It was evening, as she was in a meeting with her WO, when she heard the definite sound of military trucks moving though the base towards the exit. A strange feeling overtook her, a desperate pulling in the back of her head. She needed to get outside.
Stopping mid-sentence, she stood- her WO balked up at her in confusion, then called after her as she sprinted out of his office.
Feet laying heavy on the pavement as she ran, her heart stopped and she doubled her efforts as those black, ominous vehicles came into view, stopped momentarily as they waited for the cave to open up for them.
Of course- they were moving Amuro.
The trucks started up again as a head of curly hair poked out of the back of one of them. Amuro's eyes widened as she spotted Chris, unbuckling her belt and almost throwing herself out of the window with the force she waved at her with. The general next to her clutched a hand into her uniform to prevent her from tumbling onto the asphalt. He tried to drag her back into the car but Amuro braced herself on the metal and resisted
"Chris! Thank you!" Amuro was beaming brighter than the sun as she yelled across the space between them, gradually growing. The wind from the car's acceleration whipping into her hair as the setting sun lit her form in radiant colours, slowly obscuring it in it's entirety. "I'll write, okay?!"
"You'd better!" Tears welled in Chris' eyes as she swung both arms in the air to wave back. Her throat hurt with the strain of shouting loud enough there'd be no doubt Amuro heard her. "And thank you, too!"
She stood for a while, both hands in the air in the middle of the road, till long after Amuro was out of sight- just in case she could still see her.
Dear Al,
I think you'll be happy to hear that I'm coming home again soon! At least for a little while. The job I had on Earth didn't work out for me, in the end. It wasn't all bad though!
I met some people I'll remember for the rest of my life. That kid I met, she'd really something special. I hope I get to talk to her soon. It's always hard saying goodbye to friends, especially if you don't know when you'll see them again.
But that's part of life! The people you meet and the bits of you they take with them and the bits of them you hold with you. Have you heard of Newtypes, Al? That's always been my favourite part of the concept; the idea that you can love someone so much you could be stood on Earth, and they could be all the way on Side 3, yet you could still feel them with you.
Either way, I'm excited to talk to you face to face when I get back!
Always happy to see you!
With unending love,
Chris ♥