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After getting off the plane, seeing familiar places after a long time made him smile. He took Lele's hands and they walked towards the taxi stand. "Dad? Did you live here?"
"Yes, baby. I spent my childhood and youth here. Now we're here again."
"But why did we leave? Now we're coming back?"
"Life can expose us to such things for reasons beyond our control, my dear, but we no longer have a reason to stay there." Lele nodded slightly. They came to the nearest hotel by taxi. Gao Tu had planned to stay at a hotel temporarily until he found a place to stay. He paid the fee and they got out of the vehicle. When he entered the hotel, some of the faces turned towards him reflexively.
People's eyes widened in surprise. Some were already murmuring.
"Isn't that the guy?"
"Gao Tu. The man constantly sought after by the CEO of HS Group. Has he returned?"
"Should we announce this?"
The voices were growing louder involuntarily. Gao Tu suppressed his smile. He headed towards the reception. "I'd like a double room."
The woman looked at Gao Tu in surprise. "S-Sir. You—the—the—the—" she cleared her throat and looked away. "I'll check right away." Gao Tu ignored her. He knew he would encounter all of these. He came knowing all of this. Because he no longer had anything to hide: he wasn't ashamed of his Omega identity, he wasn't hiding his child.—The biggest factor was that Lele wasn't at fault for what they'd experienced. Therefore, Lele shouldn't have been hiding like a criminal. He wasn't hiding himself. He hadn't killed anyone or done anything to go to jail.
He had never asked for money from anyone or made any claims. Everyone would continue their lives as they wished. Apart from these words, his picture was everywhere, even when we were coming by taxi. Billboards, posters, flyers. The entire city was covered with him. In the past, he would have been terrified of it; he would have been shy, but now he just laughed it off, letting it all go. Because he had a life to look after and a life to maintain. 'Love' wasn't even a crumb among them.
Lele tugged at the hem of her shirt to get her father's attention. Gao Tu quickly turned to the three-year-old. "Dad."
"Sir, my dear." Lele pointed to the small playground that had been set up ahead. "Can we go there?"
Gao Tu looked at where Lele was pointing and stroked his hair. "We can go after we get our stuff up to the room, dear." Lele smiled and continued to wait. "We have two rooms available." In response to these words, Gao Tu reached into his bag and pulled out two ID cards from the front compartment. The woman reached for the IDs and paused briefly before completing the process.
The identity of the man whose photos were literally all over the city was right before their eyes, and the man was standing before them in the flesh. She took a deep breath and started to look professional. After receiving her records, she requested the fee. Gao Tu, given the change of circumstances, had rented for at least a week and paid the fee. He had savings from his previous job. Apart from that, he could start working here and rent a house. He took the key from the woman and turned to Lele. "Let's go."
Lele smiled and moved forward. He ignored his father's words as he ran up the stairs. "Baby, calm down, you're going to fall. Besides, we shouldn't disturb other people."
Lele turned around. "I want to take a shower! I'm so sticky! But I also want to go to the playground." Gao Tu finished the stairs and gently pinched Lele's nose. "Don't worry. Daddy's going to give you a bubble bath. And we don't have to do both at the same time. We have plenty of time. We can go to the playground tomorrow after breakfast. Isn't that right?"
Lele thought for a moment, then nodded.
"Will there be a lot of foam?"
"There will be, honey." They walked along the corridor and entered with the key. He turned on the lights. Inside the room were two beds, a standard closet, and a table. There were two separate rooms for shower and toilet. It had two windows. It was quite spacious for the price. He left their suitcases and opened them, taking out clean clothes for Lele to wear after her bath, and her comb. After taking out his personal belongings, he closed the suitcases. Frankly, he was too tired to put the materials away right now. They were probably both thinking the same thing: uninterrupted sleep after a shower.
"Come on! We're going to take a bubble bath."
"Bubble bath!!" The little boy ran into a random room. "Dad, I found it."
"Take off your clothes, honey, and I'll get the water going." Lele didn't hesitate. He took off his clothes, put them away neatly, and entered the bathtub that Gao Tu had filled with water. "Dad, bubbles!"
"It's coming!!" Gao Tu connected the machine to the water, and the detergent inside suddenly began to bubble. Lele giggled. While he was playing inside himself, Gao Tu washed Lele. After he finished his shower, he wrapped him in a towel and put on clean clothes. "Get into bed so you don't get cold, baby. I'll dry our hair after you wash."
"Don't rush, Dad!"
Gao Tu closed the door behind him without answering. He washed himself thoroughly and dressed. Even though he tried to stop thinking in the shower, his thoughts wouldn't leave him. Years later, he was in his hometown again. He had so many memories spent here. He knew every inch of it like the back of his hand. And so did its people. Even though he had more bad memories than good ones, this place was his. It was where he belonged. Where he feels free.
He had the right to come back. He was no longer afraid, no longer thinking. A new page but familiar places and new Gao Tu. He would do his best for this.
After a while, he came to Lele. The boy's eyes were slowly beginning to close. Without keeping her waiting for too long, he took the comb, combed her hair nicely and dried it. There was no sound from Lele other than a few mutters and low snores. Gao Tu couldn't help but laugh at this, and when he finished, he hugged his son and put him to bed. He tucked him in nicely. He kissed his forehead and whispered, "Good night."
///
The next morning, they woke up at 10:23 a.m. They washed their faces and brushed their teeth. They left their rooms to go down to breakfast. They went to the hotel dining area and placed their breakfast items on their trays. Then, they found an empty table and sat down. "Don't rush, eat slowly, dear. We have to go out after the playground today. We have work to do."
The little boy popped a piece of cheese into his mouth and took a sip of juice. "Are you going to show me around!?"
"That's fine, but more importantly, your father needs to find a job so we can move on with our lives."
"Can we walk? I don't want to take a taxi."
"I see you are energetic."
"I slept well last night!" He squeaked and handed the jam on his bread to Gao Tu to spread on it.
After breakfast, they washed their hands in the shared restroom inside the hotel. Lele was practically bursting with joy as he made his way to the playground. He couldn't stand still, thinking that there might be children like him out there. Unlike his father, he was a very social person. With his warm and attentive personality, he could easily make friends.
The playground was silent except for the children's screams, the parents' chatter, and the hum of the air conditioner, which, being indoors, made the room feel refreshing. Almost.
The children ran around, chasing each other, sharing toys and giggling. Gao Tu motioned Lele to the flat areas ahead. "I'll be sitting there, okay? If there's any trouble, I'll come right over. You go and have a look around."
Lele nodded and got into the ball pit. He went to the children and introduced himself. They soon started laughing and then the game came along. Gao Tu sat down where he said and turned on his phone. He kept an eye on Lele from time to time. While he was looking through online job postings, he heard a scream. He quickly looked up and saw it was another child. He wanted to get back to his work, but he stood up and glanced at her out of the corner of his eye.
Even though he couldn't see it clearly because there were adults surrounding the child, he thought it would be okay and sat back down.
"Yes, I can even send you a photo if you'd like. I'm here!" He ignored the voice a few meters away and returned to his work. He noted some of the advertisements. If he couldn't find them today, he could go to the addresses where the ads were and interview them.
The door opened with a bang in a few minutes. A large, tall man—most likely the alpha—looked around breathlessly; His irises didn't stay still for a second. All adults took their children with them for protection. The alpha didn't look well. His eyes were sunken, he was thin, and his clothes were wrinkled.
"Lele. Come here, dear." The little boy was surprised, but he listened to his father again and came out of the ball pit and took shelter in his father. "Dad, is that man okay? He came in out of nowhere and scared everyone."
"I don't know. We'll find out now."
Shen Wenlang continued to look around. His heart was pounding as if he'd run a marathon, and he was sweating uncontrollably. He couldn't have heard wrong, could he? Or it couldn't have been wrong, could it? It was true.
It had to be true.
"Dad, let's go. I'm starting to dislike this place."
"Let's go, my dear."
They rose from their seats, and with that, their eyes met.
Shen Wenlang didn't wait a second, his heart racing as he saw the body. "Gao Tu..." He ran. Without a second thought, he ran and scooped his up in his arms. The refreshing scent of sage surrounded him. He wanted to scream and cry, he wanted to pour out all his emotions. He had found it. He had finally found his Gao Tu. After three goddamned years, he felt like he could breathe.
"Shen Wenlang. Will you let me go?" He exhaled once more as Gao Tu's voice filled his ears. Before he got too far, he caught Gao Tu's eye. "It's really you."
"It's been a long time, hasn't it?" Gao Tu's calm voice. A tear fell from his eyes. This made Gao Tu let out a small sigh. "Why are you crying? Calm down. I'm fine."
"I-I've been looking for you so long. I've been everywhere, searching for even the slightest clue. I-"
"I came back last night."
"You came to me-"
"No," he said, completely pulling back, "I went back to the city where I live." Lele just stood there, staring at the two adults with incomprehensible eyes. This madman had something to do with his father?
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I really didn't tell you what I said, I didn't know. I couldn't see, my eyes were blinded by jealousy, I couldn't express my feelings. I had my reasons. Really! Really, just once, let's talk! I-I can explain myself! I'll do my best, I won't change the past, but I'll do anything for the future! Please, please just once, let's talk-"
"Shen Wenlang, you're bothering people. Don't shout." Gao Tu took Lele's hand. "We can talk. It's okay. Just don't make trouble," he said in his calm voice. All eyes were on them, watching as if they were watching a movie. "Can we really... really talk? Is that okay? Is that okay with you?" A glimmer of hope sparked within Shen Wenlang. He smiled from ear to ear at the man in front of him. He didn't let go of his hands for a second. He looked towards Lele. The little boy was also looking at him.
"This is Gao Lele. Our son." Our son. Gao Tu was truly an omega, he was pregnant. Pregnant with his child. His son...
Something snapped inside him. He had been dreaming of this for a long time. He'd imagined his face; everything from his physical features to his personality haunted his dreams. Now the dreams were over. They were both here, where they belonged.
"Let's talk. From now on, I have to go."
He has to go. Gao Tu leaving .. Would Gao Tu walk away from him? Again? No. Shen Wenlang wouldn't let this happen. He wouldn't make the same mistake again.
"Are you going to go? Where!? Don't go, you can't. I mean! Please don't go... let's talk. I mean, please tell you everything."
"I'm not going anywhere, Shen Wenlang, I'm here from now on. I'll live here." Shen Wenlang slowly calmed down and remained silent. Gao Tu took Lele's hand and guided him. Shen Wenlang hadn't spoken to the little boy yet, but he decided to give it time. After all, they could talk more.
They left the hotel. The eyes and sounds around them had faded away, and they had relaxed a little. "Let's go to the park. We can talk while Lele plays." Shen Wenlang agreed without hesitation. "My car is ahead." Gao Tu shook his head. He didn't want to fight needlessly over things like this. They drove to the park. Gao Tu and Shen Wenlang sat on a bench while Lele moved toward the swing.
"I'm listening to you, Shen Wenlang."
"Gao Tu, I want to tell you everything from the beginning. But I've never told anyone this before. I don't know how to begin." Gao Tu remained silent without responding. He waited for him to continue.
"I'm sorry for what I said to you. I'm sorry for how I made you feel. I know you're disappointed. I know you're angry. I don't even have the right to ask for forgiveness. But I'm begging for things I don't deserve. Please forgive me. I will make you happy. I will truly do my best."
"I'm not angry or upset with you. I mean, I'm not angry or upset anymore. I was scared before; I needed to protect what little I had left, so I left. The abortion we talked about last time we spoke was the final straw for me. Otherwise, I was just leaving the company. I had no plans to leave. It was hard for me to leave my city behind."
"I didn't want you to have the abortion, I really didn't. I was surprised; I learned so much all at once that I couldn't react properly. Why else would I want to get rid of our child?! Really, Gao Tu, believe me."
"The important thing isn't that I believe you, Shen Wenlang. The important thing is that Lele believes in you and loves you, because we don't have a relationship and never will. You can meet Lele if you want. After all, you are her biological father. You have the right to see his. I came back partly for his. He shouldn't have been affected by our problems. He wasn't to blame. I realized that a little too late."
We don't have a relationship.
We are not in a relationship.
It won't happen.
Shen Wenlang's ears were buzzing. Most of the words he was going to say got stuck in my throat. Gao Tu would not forgive him. Gao Tu would not let his into his life. He would never laugh at him again.
He wouldn't worry about her. A weight settled on his chest. His eyes were filled with tears. How could the man in front of him say these things so easily? Did his past experiences mean nothing to him? Was he already this late?
"Gao Tu, listen to me. Look, it won't happen right away, but we can get better gradually. I can do this. I can heal you, I can heal us, truly. Don't leave us, don't leave us. Please. Please don't do this to me."
Gao Tu smiled slightly, but it wasn't because he was happy, but rather because he was realizing something. "There was never any us. We two cowards just got carried away by our emotions and suffered. We never had a relationship. We were slow to express our feelings, and only after suffering so much did we realize something. We were wrong from the start. Even after all we'd been through, we hurt each other as much as we hurt ourselves. We don't need to do this anymore."
Shen Wenlang rose from the bench. He fell to his knees. He buried his arms and head into Gao Tu's legs. "Please. Please don't hurt me anymore. Please. I can really fix everything." His muffled voice and helpless state would have caused Gao Tu immense pain beforehand. Now, all he felt was his sadness towards everyone. "Shen Wenlang, get up. It's not like you to do this. You don't have to do this. I'm not angry with you, I told you that."
"This is even worse." He didn't raise his head. He tightened his grip. "I didn't imagine this. I even thought we'd fight, that you'd reject me, that you'd yell, even cry. I expected all of this, I'd prepared myself for it, but not this," he forced his head up and met their eyes. "This isn't it, I don't want this. Gao Tu, please react. Get angry at me, yell at me, insult me, but don't stay calm. Don't hold your feelings in. You're upset too. I know you. I-I want you to open up to me. I want to be enough for you. It might not be perfect, but I can try. Don't push me away, I'm begging you."
If this happens, I can't live.
I can't go on.
"What you said before might have been true, but Shen Wenlang, I think I've changed. I loved myself. I loved the life we created. I loved living. It's been good for me. You know? I've had a lot of time to reflect, all night long. I've restricted myself so much that I've forgotten my own self. I've been constantly running around for others, as if the life I'm living belonged to someone else. Now, look, is there anyone around me?" Gao Tu remained silent along with him, and Shen Wenlang didn't dare to speak.
"No one. Except myself... I finally understand. This life is mine; I live it, no one else. I said I should care about myself, and here I am. The only important person in my life..." his eyes drifted to the child sliding down the slide ahead. "Lele."
"I will make him happy. I will protect him. That's my purpose in life. Let's just meet for Lele, okay?"
Shen Wenlang stood up. He sat down next to her, his fists clenched. His throat was tight. He couldn't say anything. He hadn't yet managed to explain himself, but he didn't think the man in front of him would listen. The look in his eyes was not the old Gao Tu, it did not shine like him. He didn't look like him. He had changed, just as he said. He had matured and expressed his feelings without fear.
He was so involuntarily affected that he could not sit still. "For Lele?"
"Yeah."
"Just for him?"
"Yeah."
"We..."
Gao Tu let out a loud sigh. "I told you there was no us. It didn't even exist in the first place. That night was something that happened because of instinct. Without him, we would have continued as we were, staring at each other cowardly. We would have continued to kill each other from the inside without doing anything."
I've recovered, Shen Wenlang. I'll be frank. I've changed that, and it's been very difficult. I've cried a lot, I've been very angry. 'Why?' I asked. 'Why am I experiencing such things? Why can't I change this? What have I done to deserve this?' But do you know what my biggest question was? 'Was I worthy of this?' I wasn't, Shen Wenlang. I understand that, and I won't let anyone ruin it."
Shen Wenlang remained silent. Gao Tu was happy where he was. He wanted to be. What could he do? What could he say? Not a single word he said reached Gao Tu. He ignored his pleas. "I'm not saying it's all your fault, by the way. Don't get me wrong. I had my faults too. I regret these too. I shouldn't have worried you so much. I shouldn't have scared you so much. I'm sorry. I hope you can make peace with yourself."
"Dad!" Lele ran up to them. "Don't run, baby. Don't tire yourself out."
"Can we go? I'm thirsty." Gao Tu smiled warmly. "Of course, dear. Are you tired? Why did you run so hard? You're sweaty."
He combed Lele's damp hair back. "I'm fine! I'm not tired," he said, then turned to the man beside him. "Hello, are you my father's friend?" Shen Wenlang remained silent. Then he took the child in his arms. He was faced with a brand new feeling. The man he loved and this beautiful creature he had created were so innocent that he wanted to rewrite everything.
Lele felt a warm feeling inside her as she hugged Shen Wenlang. They soon separated. "I'm Gao Lele."
"Nice. I'm Shen Wenlang."
"You know what?" he paused and pointed at Shen Wenlang's face. "You look a lot like me. Or wait a minute! I'm younger than you. I look like you."
He looked at Gao Tu. "Look, Dad. I really do look a lot like your friend. Don't you think so?" He pressed his hands to his face and pointed. "Yes, I do, dear. Now, come sit here. I have something important to tell you."
Lele pulled away from Shen Wenlang and sat between them, turning her gaze to Gao Tu. "Now, dear. Everyone has two parents, right? A mother and a father. Two mothers, or two fathers. But you've been with me since birth, haven't you?" Lele remained silent, thinking for a moment. But you've been with me since birth, haven't you?" Lele was silent, thinking for a moment. Then she nodded. "Yes."
"A person shouldn't be forced to live with only one parent, that's why we came here." Lele didn't understand. "I don't understand, Dad. What are you trying to say?" He pulled Lele close. "You have two parents, my dear, and the man before you is your father."
Lele suddenly turned her head. She looked at the man in surprise. She called out softly. "My father..." Shen Wenlang held her breath, staring at the boy. Unsure of how to react, she simply waited. The little boy approached tentatively and held out his hands to Shen Wenlang. "Dad?"
"Lele?" Tears welled up in the boy's eyes, and he couldn't help but hug her. He began to cry. He felt safer than ever. Warmer, more complete.
"You came to us? Will we be together from now on?" Shen Wenlang hugged me tighter. "We will be together, son. Until the end."
Lele pulled away from him and turned to Gao Tu. "Will we live together from now on? Will we be like a family?" Shen Wenlang swallowed.
Gao Tu swallowed. He didn't know how to say this without upsetting her, but he had to. "No, baby. We'll just keep living together, but you can go see your dad whenever you want, or he can come see you."
"But-but we're together. Why don't we live together? Won't we be happier that way? Just like a family." The child's repeated swallowing made it difficult for him to speak. "A family is a relationship between two parents and their love for each other, my dear. I don't have that kind of relationship with my father."
Lele started to cry again with the sudden emotions he was experiencing. He walked away from both of them. Even though Shen Wenlang wanted to do something, Gao Tu blocked him. He wanted Lele to experience her emotions freely. After a while, he relaxed. Gao Tu touched Lele's shoulders. "Are you feeling better, baby?"
Lele turned to Shen Wenlang without answering him. "Don't you love my father?" Shen Wenlang was even more devastated by what he heard; even his body could no longer support him. Before Shen Wenlang could respond, Gao Tu turned Lele towards him. He wiped his tears. He calmed the boy down completely. "Are you feeling better?"
Lele shook his head. "Yes. I'm trying to understand. I mean, I will understand. I will try..."
Gao Tu hadn't wanted to burden a three-year-old with so much, but he would be even more upset if he found out later in life, so he told him everything as briefly as possible. With nothing left to talk about, Gao Tu stood up. Shen Wenlang immediately got up with him. "If we're going to stay in touch for Lele, I'll give you my number."
Shen Wenlang pulled out his phone without waiting and handed it to him. Gao Tu wrote down his number and called himself from Shen Wenlang's number. When the phone started ringing, he hung up and saved it as 'Shen Wenlang'. "I've got it."
"Yes," Shen Wenlang said quietly. What was going to happen now? Was this really all? Was it all over? Was this how ten years ended? What a beautiful ending...
"Lele, shall we go?"
"Will my father come with us?" The two adults' eyes met. "No, dear, but you can see each other whenever you want in the coming days. There's no problem." Lele was torn but nodded. Gao Tu looked at Shen Wenlang. "It's time to leave," he said calmly. "Take care. We'll talk soon," he said and started walking forward without waiting for an answer. He left behind an alpha, overwhelmed by his emotions. He left a broken man and an empty man.