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A boring day in the Undervale was a rarity. Seriously. Despite the lack of guests there was always a curse to break, a demon to banish or cursed objects to deal with. Danger seemed inherent to the place and that was what Esther enjoyed the most about her new home. She never ran out of fun stuff to do.
Unfortunately for her, today was one of those days. She had a group assignment for school and the due date was dangerously close. So now instead of unearthing bones for a new ritual she was instead stuck making google searches to fill some stupid cardboard.
To add insult to injury she couldn’t simply go away this time. Her mom had made sure of it. She had taken Ben and Abbadon to the town, and threatened the ghost with no TV if they distracted her in any way. Therefore, the girl had no way to escape her boredom this time. She had no choice but to endure it. To force her eyes open and herself not to get lost in her thoughts as time dragged on at a desperately slow pace.
At least she wasn’t the only one dealing with this.Heather's presence was the only thing that calmed her frustration at being trapped, thinking about all the things she could be doing instead. Although, let's be honest, for her friend, that task was more of a hobby than an obligation. Or at least that's how it seemed to her.
Esther didn’t know how she did it, but somehow her companion seemed able to make the most dull topic into something interesting. Had her eyes always sparkled whenever she managed to find the solution to a formula? Had her smile always been so genuine whenever he finished one of her beautiful diagrams?
She wasn’t sure. Maybe she was imagining things. But Heather's enthusiasm was contagious and made that torture slightly less unbearable; it almost made her want to contribute something to the assignment.
But it had already taken enough effort to convince Heather to do all the work, and the only thing Esther hated more than wasting an afternoon doing nothing was swallowing her pride. So she had no choice but to cross her arms, sink into the armchair, and listen to the uneven sounds of pens and markers on the poster board until her partner finished or it got too late.
The sound of Heather clearing her throat pulled Esther from her thoughts, making her take her hands off the keyboard and look her way.
— What now, Heather? —Her voice made her sound more irritated than she actually was, but Heather knew her well enough to know that she wasn't upset with her at all.
— My pen ran out of ink — her friend commented, drawing an invisible line on the paper to emphasize her point.
— Uh-huh …
Esther didn’t finish the sentence, not sure of what she wanted her to do.
— Could you… give me another one? — Heather clarified — I think if we keep going at this pace we can have it finished by today — she added with a tiny smile. The gesture made Esther quickly look away, pretending that the hotel’s old velvet carpet was suddenly the most interesting thing in the world.
Why did she no longer dare to look her friend in the eyes? When did it become so difficult for her?
And you don't know how to get one yourself?— was the only answer she could come up with, before shrugging and gesturing vaguely towards the hotel entrance. —There should be a handful in the counter’s first drawer, take the one you like best.
— And… don’t worry, mom got rid of a bunch of cursed furniture several weeks ago — added Esther, not quite sure why, as her friend headed into the hallway — so nothing should happen to you.
— I'm not worried —Heather laughed, peeking her head out the door— Even if something did happen, I know we'd sort it out, like always.
Esther responded with nothing more than a nod and a half-smile as her friend's ponytail disappeared behind the door frame. Looking back, she'd actually enjoyed her adventures with Heather more than she'd initially thought.
Unlike other girls their age, Heather didn't seem weirded out by her stories about monsters, bleeding entrails and curses. Not in the slightest. It almost seemed as if, in her eyes, these were just another riddle, a puzzle whose solution she could find with time and logic. Her kindness about it wasn't feigned either. She asked her questions, created theories, she was interested.
And Esther didn't know how to deal with that. It was the first time something like this had happened to her; for the first time, she wasn't the one pursuing the other person. Unlike her brother, she had given up long ago. Resigned to the idea that it would be impossible for her to connect with anyone else, and that making friends simply wasn't for people like her.
Of course, after meeting Abaddon she'd changed her mind. But still, a small part of Estherwas saddened at the idea of never being able to have that kind of connection with a "normal" person.
That's why she was so surprised when Heather called her “friend" for the first time. And that's also why, as soon as Heather walked out the door, Esther slumped into the office chair, determined. She began writing the remaining text at lightning speed.
Esther knew her friend would be back soon, but she wasn't thinking straight. She only had one thing on her mind: she wanted to have another adventure. With Heather. She was sure that if she showed her her secret lab, Heather would be blown away.
In the end, lacking pens, she opted for a marker. It wasn't as clean or as nice as before, but it wasn't a big deal. A couple of ink smudges wouldn't be noticeable.
She was so engrossed that she didn't notice Heather had returned until she felt a hand on her shoulder. Esther looked up and saw her friend lean forward out of the corner of her eye.
—Oh Esther, you did have another p…
Heather's sentence hung in the air. Esther stopped writing; the marker stopped millimeters from the cardboard.
—Nah— Esther tried to sound nonchalant —I managed to do it without a pen. And I'm almost finished, so we could go to the woods afterward. I have a secret lab that…
Her voice trailed off. Heather didn't answer. The hand that had been on her shoulder was removed, and with it, any remaining enthusiasm.
Esther turned around, clearly annoyed.
— What now?
Heather fiddled with her glasses before answering.
— Nothing... it's just that... you could have told me.
— Told you about what?
— That you were going to continue on your own. I thought you didn't want to do anything and now… — Heather sighed. "Well. You know how important a good first impression is...And you kinda ruined that
Esther looked away, pretending it didn't hurt her to hear that.
— Bah, it doesn't matter. Who even cares about that?
— I do
Heather’s reply was not harsh, but carried a sincerity that weighed more heavily than any scolding.
Esther's heart sank; her throat burned as she fought to stifle a loud sigh. She wanted to say something. An excuse, an apology, anything. But those words never came to be. She had no choice but to swallow them and unload her frustrations on the person closest to her.
— Shut up, Heather, I already know!— she exclaimed, startling her friend. —Do you really think anyone cares about that as much as you do? Or even a little? Do you really prefer wasting a whole afternoon cramped here instead of, I don't know… actually having fun?
“Having fun with me” she would have liked to say, but those words were nothing more than a thought.
— Look, it doesn't matter, what's done is done — was the only response she got, barely a sigh and a nod — It's best if I call my dad and go back home, we've done enough today.
Despite using the plural, both knew she was only talking about Esther. Heather moved the chair the other girl was sitting in out of the way and began gathering school supplies. She clearly wasn't expecting any help, and Esther didn't offer any either. Instead, she let out a huff before standing up and walking back to the table.
— Fine! Do whatever you want!
Esther remained silent after that, clenching her teeth. For some reason, not receiving an answer made her feel even worse. Why wasn't Heather angry if she cared so much about the assignment? Did she not care?
Well, if she didn't want to get angry, that's her problem!
And with barely any sound, Esther ran away with no goal other than to escape the situation she herself had created. Only looking for somewhere to hide.
The hotel corridors blurred before her eyes. At some point, she went down stairs, at some point, turned a corner. Could she have walked right through a ghost? Who knew? She didn't care. After several aimless runs, she stopped in the hallway. In front of her was the door that led to the basement. Good. A secluded place. The darkness inside seemed to engulf her, but at least she was far from everything that made her feel guilty.
The wooden door was aged and worn, like everything else in the hotel except for the few pieces of furniture her family had brought from their previous home. Esther didn't hesitate to open it and quickly slip into the room.
The basement was shrouded in near-total darkness, broken only by the fading light filtering through a small opening at the far end. The girl felt along the wall, searching for a light switch, until she found it. The old incandescent bulb flickered a couple of times before bathing the room in its dim, yellowish glow.
It was then that Esther realized the room was full of furniture, and for a moment, her curiosity overcame the guilt that had brought her there in the first place.
Slightly more cheerful, the girl began to inspect the furniture, even though it wasn't the first time she'd seen it. But it was better to be distracted by that than to dwell on the situation she'd left behind on the other side of that door.’
— So this is where Mom took the cursed furniture…I thought she'd just thrown it away.
She approached the bleeding mirror and saved one of its fragments in her pocket without a second though.
— New treasure. Cool —she murmured, though her excitement didn't last a second.
Her stroll didn't last long either; the room wasn't exactly large, and she herself had already discovered the secrets hidden within those furnishings shortly after arriving at the Undervale. Her little discovery would be much more interesting if she had someone to share those secrets with for the first time. Someone, like Heather…
Heather. Just thinking about her made her feel the guilt drain all the air from her lungs. Esther slumped to the floor with a sigh, leaning her back against one of the closets. She tried to curl up inside her green jacket and disappear.
Now that she thought about it rationally, her friend was right; what she had done was wrong and pointless. She didn't even know what she was hoping to achieve doing that: five less minutes of homework? To impress Heather? To prove something to her?
She put her hands to her head. Why did she always have to do this? Why was she incapable of speaking her mind? She didn't understand why she always chose the difficult path. She didn't understand why she couldn't do something as simple as apologize, or express what she wanted. She didn't understand why she sabotaged herself like this.
She knew she annoyed everyone by acting this way. Because of things like this, people ended up giving up on her and abandoning her again. Esther was painfully aware of this. But for some reason, every time she had the chance to make things right, she’d just… let it pass.
The girl lowered her head, staring at the tips of her shoes. As if the solution to all her problems laid there. She didn't understand why Heather kept putting up with it. What had just happened… she wasn't even sure of what it was, honestly. Heather hadn't even been mean to her, and her complaint was justified. And instead of understanding and apologizing, she'd gotten defensive, as usual.
Esther let out a sigh without realizing. And without fully being aware of it, those words that had been bubbling up in her chest for a while finally surfaced.
— I wish I could tell her what I really think… —she mused to herself, raising her gaze— at least for once
The moment she said that, she felt the air around her grow thick. A chill ran through her. A spark of dark magic flickered behind her. The girl barely had time to close her mouth before the wardrobe she was leaning against swung open and slammed its doors on the back of her head.
—Hey! What the..!?
The words died in her mouth as she turned around. An exact copy of herself was standing before her, leaping down from the closet as if nothing had happened. The other Esther closed the wardrobe door. She stared at her, sporting a smile identical to her own, for a couple of seconds that seemed like an eternity before finally speaking.
— Nothing to say? Really? —her clone asked, slightly surprised.—-I thought you'd have a question to ask, or an order to give.
— Well, I'm not in the mood —Esther muttered, crossing her arms, irritated and bewildered at the same time— And what are you?
Her copy smiled and took a step forward, glad to finally be able to answer that question.
— Isn't it obvious? I'm you. Or rather, a part of you.
Esther frowned, unsure what to make of that.
— A part that knows that saying out loud what you want in this place is... kind of a bad idea —the copy replied, shrugging— You can call me Sincere Esther, or S.E., if that makes things easier.
Esther frowned. Who did that... thing think it was, telling her when to be careful?
— That’s the last thing in my mind right now, and if you were me, you'd know it.
— Oh, don’t worry —the clone’s smile grew— I know.
Esther backed away slowly, until she bumped into the wardrobe. Her heart was racing; ES's strange familiarity made her feel as if he were looking straight into her soul.
— Then you'd also understand what a bad idea it is to upset me.
The clone didn’t respond. Instead, she directed her gaze to the basement’s door.
— Oh... yeah, Heather's still at the hotel, isn't she? —S.E. chimed in, breaking the tension so easily it irritated her even more.
The comment from her clone pulled Esther from her thoughts. The girl gave her copy a slightly annoyed look, trying to decipher her intentions as she spoke again.
— We haven't been here that long. I should go upstairs and say something to her.
— No, the only thing you ‘should’ do is go back the way you came — Esther said, stepping between the exit and her other self.— I know what went down with Ben’s clones, and I’m not letting it happen again.
Her clone didn’t seem intimidated in the slightest.
—Yeah, right, and who’s gonna stop me. You? Come on!
S.E. advanced as if nothing was wrong, getting closer and closer, without pausing for a moment or a word.
— You can’t even tell people what you think! You just… expect everyone to read your mind. And if they don’t, you get angry!
Each step forward was a truth, each truth pierced her like a dagger.
— Then you wonder why nobody can stand you… or why Dad doesn’t text you back,
Silence fell like a stone. Esther felt her pulse in her ears. The air seemed colder. Her whole body tensed instantly.
The punch came without warning. Of course, both felt the same sudden blow that made their heads spin and stars appear in their sight. Neither said a word, their ragged breaths the only sound in the room. Esther sat down on an old stool, while S.E. remained standing.
— Ow! Wow —S.E. giggled, rubbing her bruised cheek.— Sorry, I shouldn't have brought that up, but I’m not lying either, you know that, right? You're only making things more difficult.
Esther looked at the piece of furniture from which her clone had emerged earlier.
— I'm not the one making this 'difficult.' If you really wanted to take problems off my hands, you'd go back in there instead of trying…. —she remarked before lowering her gaze and voice—...whatever it is you're trying to do.
That last comment elicited a soft laugh from S.E.; for some reason, she found it incredibly funny.
—Come on, Esther, you don't need to keep anything to yourself in front of me.
S.E. approached Esther casually, revealing hands she'd kept hidden in her pockets until that moment.
—I know you like her.
Silence, another step.
—And I know you want her to like you too.
Another step, the sound of fabric sliding. Esther’s heart stopped, each word hitting harder than the punch she’d received earlier.
—That’s why you can’t tell her the truth… But you want to! And If you don't do it, I will!
And just as Esther looked up, just as she opened her mouth to reply, S.E. threw her jacket at her face, using the few seconds of confusion to escape the basement and close the door behind her.
She rushed to the door and pushed it… but it was blocked. S.E. had dragged a piece of furniture in front of it to prevent her from leaving.
Esther pounded on the door, but it barely opened enough to let in a thin sliver of light. Well, it was some progress. Esther rolled up her sleeves before pounding again, opening the door a little wider.
Meanwhile, S.E. had returned to the room where, less than an hour ago, the two girls had been working. Heather was still there, her presence betrayed by the sounds of pencils and other materials being moved around.
Somewhat shyly, the copy peeked into the library. The other girl was sitting on the couch, organizing her backpack. S.E. took a step forward and knocked on the doorframe to get her attention.
— May I come in?
Just as Heather looked up, the real Esther managed to burst out of the basement. Even from where she stood, she could hear the faint murmur of a conversation. Her friend's soft laughter was all it took for Esther to bolt out, her heart pounding in her chest.
Meanwhile, Heather laughed again.
—Okay, okay, I forgive you, you don’t need to keep saying sorry
— Aww.. But I want to!
Heather tilted her head, somewhere between touched and confused.
— Did... Did something happen? No offense, but apologizing doesn't exactly suit you.
— What? —S.E. put a hand to her chest and opened her mouth, feigning offense. — How dare you!
She soon laughed too before sitting down on the armchair next to Heather.
— Pfft… Is it that obvious?
Heather’s eyebrow raised so fast that she almost pulled a muscle.
— Yes.
— Okay, okay… The truth is, there's something else I'd like to tell you, and I've been holding onto it for quite some time.
The other girl looked her in the eyes and rested her chin on her hands.
— I'm listening.
At that very moment, Esther, sweating and breathless, bursted into the room. If S.E. had said anything, no one had the chance to hear it.
— WAIT! —she exclaimed, making the other two look in her direction.— Heather, don't listen to her, that thing isn't me!
Heather looked at S.E. with slight skepticism. The copy nodded.
— I'm not the original Esther, she's right about that —she admitted, glancing at the newcomer.— That doesn't mean everything I've said so far hasn't been true. Am I wrong?
This last question felt like mockery to Esther. She clenched her fist. One glance at Heather was enough for her to realize that, although she hadn't said it aloud, her friend seemed to have believed everything her counterpart had confessed to her. Just thinking about the implications brought a slight blush to her cheeks.
— So, what did you say to her?
S.E. chuckled softly and raised her hands in a conciliatory gesture.
— Nothing big, really, I was just apologizing for that scene we made earlier.
Esther looked at her friend for confirmation. Heather nodded.
— She's not lying, we didn't talk about anything important.
S.E. stood up, stretching slightly without a care in the world.
— Well, I didn't have time for more, but that's better. Now she can tell you —ES commented, gesturing to her counterpart with both hands.— Go ahead, Esther, we're listening.
The girl opened her mouth to complain, but Heather got there first, physically placing herself between her and her clone, whom she pointed at accusingly.
—No!
S.E. tilted her head, confused.
—No?
—No. I have no idea what you want her to confess, but it doesn’t matter —she stated firmly.— It’s obvious Esther isn’t ready to tell me, so I don’t want to know.
Esther took a deep breath, still trembling slightly. She looked at Heather and saw understanding in her eyes. She didn’t need any more words; she knew she could count on her.
And with that, something inside Esther relaxed a little.
— You heard her, she doesn’t want to know unless I tell her, so you know where you can go.
For the first time since she had appeared, S.E. stopped smiling. The copy strode confidently toward Esther, raising a hand as if to place it on her shoulder. She stepped back to avoid it and crossed her arms, stiff.
The air between them grew so thick you could cut it with a knife, and for a moment the library you could have heard a pin drop. Esther gritted her teeth, ready to pounce on her copy again. Even if she ended up taking every blow herself, that was preferable to S.E. airing her secrets at the worst possible moment.
Esther wasn't sure who hit whom first; all she remembered was hearing Heather's muffled scream behind her as she fell to the floor. Both Esthers rolled on the carpet. Kicking. Biting. Scratching. Neither seemed above resorting to dirty tricks. They struggled, a clash of frustration and urgency, while S.E. tried to force her to talk.
Heather tried to say something to convince them to stop fighting, but her friend's insults and the copy's jeers drowned out everything she tried to say. Finally, she walked over to them, determined, and grabbed S.E.'s arm to try and stop her.
— Let her go!
S.E. spun around sharply, causing Heather to lose her balance and fall to the ground. Seeing this, Esther hesitated. That moment of doubt was enough for S.E. to gain the upper hand in the fight.
With a swift hand movement, she knocked Esther down and positioned herself on top of her, immobilizing her.
— We both know why you can't tell her the truth —S.E. said, placing her hands over Esther's face and forcing her to look at her friend.— But you want to! You want to tell her!
Esther protested, writhing in protest, but escape was impossible.
—Get away from her!"
Heather was already on her feet. Determined, she grabbed the first object she could reach at the clone, a ruler, as if it were the most dangerous weapon in the world. S.E. ignored her.
—Come on, Esther, just tell her already!
Another couple of seconds wasted trying to escape in vain. Heather's footsteps echoed as she approached S.E., intent on attacking. They couldn't go on like this. She had to take away S.E.'s only weapon against her. Determined, Esther took a breath and closed her eyes before confessing the secret that had caused this whole situation in the first place.
— I have fun doing homework with you!
The scream stopped ES and Heather in their tracks, the latter with a confused expression plastered all over her face. Esther didn't see it, though. She had decided to close her eyes and ignore any stimulus, knowing that if she didn’t, she wouldn't be able to continue speaking.
— I-I’m not even sure why! Okay?! I don't know if it's the way you explain things or what, but when we study together it's so much more bearable! I can tell you enjoy it and that you're good at it! —The words tumbled out, and suddenly it seemed that the hardest part was keeping quiet.— That's why I did what I did before, even though it didn't make sense! I wanted to show you something I'm just as passionate about!
There.
She had finally spoken. Most likely, after that disastrous afternoon, Heather wouldn't want anything to do with her. At least she had put an end to her worries and the embarrassing situation she had gotten herself into.
— I'm sorry I caused all this —Esther continued— I should’ve told you from the beginning.
Heather's eyes widened in surprise, and she relaxed. Part of her wanted to smile, touched that something so silly had worried Esther so much. The other part of her, the part that led her down the path of logic, wanted to scream, run away, and never set foot in that cursed hotel ever again.
—That's better —S.E. commented with satisfaction.— See? It wasn't that difficult.
The clone released Esther with a satisfied smile, stepping aside to give her space. Heather offered her friend a hand. Esther gladly accepted the gesture and stood up. Neither of them looked away from ES.
—Esther has done what you wanted. What will you do now?
—Well, what Esther said: back from where I came —she explained— Unless you want me to stay.
— NO! —they blurted out simultaneously, which made them burst into laughter. With S.E. joining in on before they started their walk back to the basement.
A couple of hours later, everything was back in its place. The cursed wardrobe was reduced to splinters and served as a snack for the fireplace ghost, they’d both tidied up the library before the rest of the family returned, and Esther was in the yard reflecting on what had happened.
That night there wasn't a cloud in the sky, allowing her to see more stars than she thought could fit in the sky, and a nice cool breeze drifted in from the woods. Esther sighed, resting her arms on the railing. It was amazing how such a disastrous day could have ended in such a peaceful night.
The sound of the front door opening behind her made Esther turn around. It was just Heather. With her backpack slung over her shoulder and the warm light from inside the hotel bathing her completely, she could almost be mistaken for one of the ghosts. Esther greeted her with a nod.
— Are you leaving?
—Yeah —she replied, walking to the railing and leaning against it.— I've told my dad to come pick me up.
— Aw, can't you stay?
— I can ask.
After that, they both fell into a comfortable silence, that kind of stillness where words were unnecessary. Heather didn't ask, and Esther didn't press her. Instead, they gazed at the stars side by side.
— How are you feeling?
— Uh… I don't know, the same as always? —Esther stared at her hands, trying to see if anything was different about them.— Like I beat myself up. Twice.
Heather gave her a mocking look.
— I wonder why.
Esther smiled.
— Okay, but at least I won.
— Are you sure? Because I remember you ended up doing exactly what she wanted.
—W-well, but…—Esther tried to find something to wipe that smug look off her friend's face, but it was impossible.— Grr! Damn you and your beautiful brain!
Heather stifled a laugh.
—I think you spend too much time with Abaddon.
This time it was Esther who tried to stop herself from laughing.
—Jealous?
— Of him? —Heather rolled her eyes.— Pfft, not at all.
The reaction was so genuine that this time, Esther couldn't help but laugh, and Heather's laughter soon joined hers. At that moment, she couldn't understand how she could have been afraid of her. Afraid to say anything.
Once the laughter died down, Esther cleared her throat.
— The truth is… —she began, her heart pounding with just three words.
— Yes?
— There's something I'd like to tell you.
It took heather a second to understand. Esther felt like her heart was about to burst out of her chest. They both stared at the same star without realizing it.
— Don't worry… —Heather reassured her, intertwining her fingers with her friend's.
— I think I already know.