Chapter Text
In one instant, I'm at the height of my work on a case that could change Zootopia forever. In the next, my body's gone limp and frigid. My neck is ablaze with pain. Pins and needles are shooting through my limbs as I slump into the arms of my saboteur.
"Ooo... Oh my gosh. Oh, I really- My heart is pounding! I thought you knew!" Pawbert chuckles.
I don't want to admit it, to him or myself... but part of me did. I just didn't want to trust that part of me anymore. Not after what it did to me and Nick. To trust that instinct would be a slap in the face to everything we've overcome.
I know ignoring it got me here... but some part of me is thankful that at least Nick is safe.
"Sorry partner... Hate to leave you out in the cold!"
Gary trusted you even more than I did... and even he caught the bitter end of your lies, thrust out into the cold. I can't imagine what he's feeling right now. My neck is burning. And my limbs feel like TV static with every beat of my heart, which is growing weaker by the second. Pawbert is talking to me again... But I can hardly make out what he's saying.
"... don't be mad at me."
I can't... anger fails me. I can't clench my fist for anything but the pain. Not just the physical... the pain of my guilt.
"... Prove you're as good as everyone else. That you belong!"
Where do I belong? Whenever I try to handle something on my own, I screw it all up. I always put Nick in jeopardy. I bring scrutiny on the ZPD. It's all so- Wait. What's he doing? Is that... more venom?
"I know it's messed up. But... this is my chance."
No. Don't tell me.
"Judy!"
Nick's voice sends my heart through the floor. I've never felt so powerless. Like all I can do is watch a trainwreck unfold. I can't even cry, as badly as I want to plead for him to stop.
"No loose ends... Bye partner. Bye Judy Hopps."
The look in his eyes, it's the look of someone that doesn't even see you as another being. To him, we're just wads of trash that missed the bin. Him stepping over me like garbage just confirms it. But I can't just let him... No!
"Pawbert... Please." With the last ounce of strength I have left... all I can do is meagerly hold on and beg him to reconsider. There has to be something inside of him that doesn't want to do this. Something that wants to be more than what the Lynxleys stand for.
"You can be different from your family."
"... I don't wanna be different."
The brunt of his words hit me with the slam of the door. I've failed everyone. I failed Gary. I failed Chief Bogo. I failed... I failed...
"Nick..."