Chapter 38

Mason

Kieran had told me on Friday to expect him to come pick me up at 8am the next day, I had a few ideas of where he might be taking us but when he texted me Saturday morning saying to make sure I eat breakfast, pack a snack and dress somewhat formal I was stumped. The harder I tried to guess the more ferocious my curiosity became. And things only escalated when I walked downstairs wearing my tan slacks and a dark green blazer.

My mom was still at one of the breakfast tables with a cup of black coffee, she tended to be a very early riser and out of the house before seven, I wondered if she had been waiting for me.

Sure enough after I'd filled my plate I saw her waving me over, now she was joined by Lily and my two younger brothers, Colton and Drew. I hoped Kieran would come early as I reluctantly walked over to them.
"Mason, you look so nice." My mom smiled with approval.
"Where is he taking you anyway?" Colton demanded, his dark brows furrowed suspiciously.
"I don't know yet! He won't tell me but he said to dress kinda formal and bring a snack." I shifted awkwardly in the stiff clothes.
"But it's morning. Where would you go dressed fancy in the morning?" Lily was dying of curiosity just like me. I could see it in her sharp, grey eyes.
"Look," I put up my hands defensively, "I wish I knew, it's eating me up."
"Maybe that's the point." Colton was still skeptical, "Maybe he's playing with you and it won't be nice at all."
I rolled my eyes, "Please, spare me the prejudice, vampire conspiracies."

Irritation sparked in his eyes as he opened his mouth but Drew, the youngest, interrupted calmly,
"I'm sure he's taking you to the city." We all turned to him with surprise.
"Oh, that makes sense. You'll end up there a few hours before lunch then." My mom said thoughtfully. "Have you driven to the city yet?"
"No, but if that's where we're going I hope he has." The thought of driving in the city made me nervous.
"He probably has." Lily reassured me.
"Text us when you figure out where you are." Colton said as he got up and left.
"Actually, please do." Mom added.

Kieran

I was feeling more than a little insecure about my choice, but it was too late to back out now. I worried if Mason would actually enjoy it or not. My idea had been, if you're dating a vampire wouldn't it be fun to go on a vampire aesthetic date? But truthfully I wasn't that confident as I got dressed, I chose black slacks with a white button down and a black sweater over the top.

Marcella asked me to send a pic of my outfit for her approval. She made me borrow a belt from my dad, when I saw it all together I agreed she'd been right.

I arrived at Mason's house and didn't need to knock as he was already walking out, I wanted to admire him for a minute but promptly became distracted when I saw that he was accompanied by his mom, sister, and youngest brother, I was immediately nervous to see the four of them approach and decided I had better get out of the car to say hello.

"Uh, hello again, Mrs. Kane."
"Hello." She stopped and smiled with her arms crossed a few feet away, I debated if I should offer to shake her hand or not and then I saw Mason's dad appear at the front door.

When I had originally asked him out it hadn't seemed like a big deal, but now I was about the most embarrassed I'd ever been with all of their eyes on me.
Mason acted as if we were alone, striding right up like he intended to kiss me hello. I dodged him and hissed in a low whisper,
"Your whole family's here!"
He glanced back for a moment, "No they're not, do you not know how many brothers I have?"
"I'm less concerned with your brothers than I am with your parents!" My voice was almost a squeak. Well. Maybe it was a squeak, I was feeling very small.
"You have to say hello to each of them." His tone was serious but he wiggled his eyebrows as if it were funny, it certainly was not funny to me.

A little bubble of panic started to rise in my chest, I peeked behind him and saw them all looking at me expectantly.
"Should I shake their hands?"
"What?" He laughed, "No, literally just walk over with me and we'll say goodbye to their faces, instead of sneaking away in your usual style." I didn't have the confidence to talk back at that moment. Mason took my hand and I followed trying to look calmer than I felt.
His dad had joined the rest of them in the driveway.
"Hello– Everyone..." With dread I realized that I still hadn't memorized the sibling's names. I thought the sister was Lily, maybe. The brother, I had no clue. Mason had told me his little brother would start highschool next year, he looked younger than that though, he had a smaller frame than the other brothers and darker hair.

"Good morning, you both look nice. How long will you be out?" His dad, Roger, asked politely.
Mason spoke before I had the chance, "I'll let you know when we're on our way back."
"Does your dad at least know where you're going?" Chancy asked me.
"He does yes." I realized for the first time that maybe they were nervous to let me take Mason without knowing where he would be. "We're going to be in the city." I said helpfully, although that didn't narrow it down much I was loath to spoil the surprise just yet.
"Told ya." The brother sounded pleased.
"Yes Drew, we all know you're the smart one." Mason was starting to sound impatient.
"And will you be driving?" Lily raised an eyebrow at me.
"Oh no! We're taking the train." At this they all looked surprised.
"Alright, that's enough questions everyone, we're going now." Mason pushed me by the shoulder before I could finish my awkward goodbye.

Mason started talking before I'd even finished pulling out of the drive, "Wow Kieran, I've never seen you so intimidated. That was very unlike you. Not even one rude comment? Are you feeling ok?" His amusement prickled me.
"I would love to see you pick me up in front of my dad. Or brother for that matter."
"Yikes, low blow. But that's exactly my point! My family is so friendly!"
"They weren't the first few times I saw them!"
"That's in the past, they like you now."
"Are you sure?" I was skeptical,"Do they even know my name?"
"Do you know their names?" He challenged. I knew I'd have to prove it or he wouldn't believe me,
"Your parents are Roger and Chancy, then there's Drew," that was a freebie as I'd just overheard it, "Lily..." Didn't Lily's name sound similar to the oldest brother? Maybe... "Liam?"
"Wow. I didn't expect that.”
Lucky guess.
“You're just missing Colton then."
"You really think they like me now?"
"Well, my dad said you could come visit at the house once a week." He said it casually, like it was no big deal. But it was, to me it was.
"Oh really?"

Maybe Roger really had changed his mind about me, I guess I hadn't expected their forgiveness so quickly. I thought about it for a few minutes. "Do the other wolves like me now? Because– because I... Killed someone to save you? Do they like, trust me a little, or at least, distrust me less?" Mason suddenly became uncomfortable.
"That's... Complicated." He looked away.
"Oh?"
"Well, my family is obviously happy that you protected me. And I'd say most are convinced that you don't want to hurt me. But– I mean. You don't understand the social culture." He started biting his thumb nail.

Social culture? What did that mean, I wondered. I was surprised if the wolves had an aversion to violence, maybe they had strict rules to control fighting? But still, it would be hard to argue that I'd done the wrong thing, I was aware of that.
"They think I did the wrong thing?" I was confused.
"No Kieran," He answered quickly, with worry, "everyone knows you did the right thing, let's drop it."
"Now I'm going to be guessing what you meant!"
"Don't, they don't matter, they don't understand your situation."
"My situation? You mean they don't know the details of what happened?" I pressed, for some reason I couldn't let it go.
"It's because it was your brother!" He blurted out. "That's why– it's like, a pack thing about breaking the family bond..." He trailed off.

I was stung. I shouldn't have asked. We drove in silence for a few minutes before Mason spoke again.
"That's why I said, they don't understand, he broke the bond. Not you. I know that. And my family knows that."
"I'm gonna tell my therapist about this." I joked, choosing to change course and brush it off. I wanted to have a good time and not think about this anymore. I needed to start considering the context before bringing up my melancholy thoughts.

Mason put his hand out for me, I glanced away from the road momentarily to look at him, he was concerned, as I'd thought. I took his hand with a sigh and squeezed it.
"I'm sorry, I should have just listened to you and dropped it. I'm fine though."
"Hold up. Did you just say that you should have listened to me? Is that my first date gift?"
I chuckled.

I was pleased when we ended up being the only ones at the platform, we waited together leaning on opposite sides of the rain shelter.
"By the way. I didn't want to say infront of my family but, you look hot in your fancy clothes." Mason was looking at me with a soft gaze and a slight pinkness to his cheeks. A mischievous smile tugged at the corners of my mouth.
"And you look hot in a blazer. I thought so the first time I saw you in it. On our double date." I anticipated his reaction and to my satisfaction his eyebrows jumped momentarily as his blush deepened.
"I hated that date." He pushed off his end of the stall and closed the distance between us, wrapping his arms around my waist possessively. I laughed and refrained from rubbing it in that his pain had been mostly self inflicted.

"Do you ever think about what would have been different if you had just been able to wait for me to like you, instead of playing jealousy games?" I asked.
"Wait for you? In what world were you going to come to me?"
"After you kissed me? I was ready to come to you the next day, if you weren't already dating Marcella."
"Stop.” His lips tightened and he shook his head, “I refuse to accept that. You told me you hated me. More than once. Maybe three times."
"I think I only said that because I wanted it to be true."
A noise escaped his throat, a sort of frustrated groan.
"You really think that's true, you would have come to me?"
"Mason, you have no chill. I could barely look at you for fear I would throw myself at you." This time his growl was obviously frustrated.
"Well you're mine now, anyway."

We had a good time on the train, I’d always loved the gritty charm of a train ride, inside a little capsule, noisy and rattling, the green windows making everything outside look strange, sitting in a crowd but feeling invisible, almost private. Riding with a friend was a whole vibe, having silent conversations with meaningful glances and head tilts. We sat close and I reflected on how nice it was to be comfortable in each other’s presence, the time passed with us talking quietly and people watching together.

When we got to our station Mason seemed a little overwhelmed, since moving here he had only been in the city for his states game and the team had been driven by bus straight to the hotel. It was fun being able to lead him around, explaining how to navigate and get through the crowds.
I'd never asked him where he moved from so I did as we walked and it turned out to not be that far away, although he'd only visited the city once before, as a kid.

My nerves kicked in again when I started catching glimpses of the building's peaks between the skyscrapers. When we rounded the last corner and the towering cathedral came into full view our steps naturally slowed while taking it in.
Although it was neighbored by taller buildings the cathedral overshadowed them with an undeniably commanding presence, formidable towers that paid us no attention rose to their lofty pursuit, triangular pediments gestured toward the floral design of the rose window, while the pointed arch portals drew your eye to the dark wooden doors that contrasted the white stone, striking you with it's intimidation and allure in chorus.

Mason paused in front of it distractedly, his head tilted about as far back as it could to see the spires in their climb to the clouds, I struggled for a moment to take my eyes off his neck.
"I've never stood this close to one of these." He spoke with evident curiosity, "It's neat to see..." He trailed off.
"Wait until you see the inside." His eyes snapped to mine quickly.
"What did you say? Inside?"
His confusion was delicious to me, "Yes." I watched his wheels-turning expression with unconstrained glee.
"We– well, can't– inside? But how?"
"How? I booked us a tour, what do you mean?" I pretended not to know what he was struggling so arduously to get at.
"But can't you not– like... Enter these grounds or whatever?"
I laughed, "They wish. You've watched too many movies, Mason."

Truthfully I was just being an ass, I'd had to ask my own father if it was true that we couldn't enter churches.

Mason was quiet for too long and my nervousness returned.
"Look, I thought about taking you to do something more obvious that you would enjoy. There's a hockey game this weekend we could have gone to, or, I know you would like something outdoorsy, we could have gone to a state park instead. Restaraunt, arcade, concert. I went through all those ideas but...
You also like me. And you said before that you wanted to know even the vampire parts of me. So I thought– Well... I thought it would be fun to take you on a vampire themed date.
I wanted to do something really memorable that we might not do again, something different and interesting."

I was rambling as I watched people going in and out of the staunch double doors. Then I felt that recognizable touch on my chin as Mason turned my face to look at him.
He wasn't smiling, there was a soft wrinkle between his brows and a tightness to his cheeks, he looked into my eyes with intensity and I was confused to see the blue being overpowered by the gold flecks once again.
"Kieran. I'm happy."

Mason

I gazed at the Cathedral in stunned silence. I would never –ever– have guessed this surprise, not in a million years.
Kieran had flaws, and I knew them, I'd known them before I'd loved him, and I'd experienced the pain those flaws inflicted.
However, there was also this side of him, leading him to unpredictable actions, a side which I saw more frequently the longer I knew him, defying my expectations. I was repeatedly left staggered by admiration, bewildered and outmatched by his depth of thought and feeling.

There had been so many times that I was so sure that I loved him more than he would ever love me. But hearing him talk about how much care and consideration he had put into where we would go on our first date, I felt the passion that moved him to creativity and was overcome with emotion.

I watched his face; he was talking quickly, spurred by self doubt. I hated that he wasn't proud of himself. He deserved to be.
I hated the way his mind tricked him into insecurity and nervousness such that he was apprehensive to look at me. I stopped him with a touch, pulling his face toward me with a gentle motion. His mouth closed when our eyes met and I hoped he would feel the reassurance that I wished to cast over him.
"Kieran. I'm happy." Was all I could say.

Kieran

I felt the tension in my shoulders fall away at his words. A peaceful quiet came over my thoughts, almost reflexively I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lips, feeling his warm breath on my cheeks and relishing our happiness.
I withdrew and opened my eyes to see that he was smiling too, there was no blue left now as he looked at me, a spark of warmth ran through my body.

"Should we go in then?" I asked.
"Can we walk around the outside first or is there a set time?"
"It's self-guided, we can walk around."
Mason seemed interested to do just that so we started our stroll down the pavement, taking in the enormity and the complexity of texture in the grand structure, it's competing spires and pinnacles, pronounced with triangular points, crosses, and bell flowers. It boasted myriad latticed lancet windows, accented by quatrefoils in the occular windows and delicate stone tracery in the rose windows.

We eventually returned to the entrance.
I felt a strange weightiness as we were funneled toward the deeply recessed doors, a significant intentionality hit me stepping across the threshold, as if I were deliberately overcoming an unseen challenge. It unsettled me momentarily but I swiftly forgot it as I caught my first glimpse of the interior.

I paused to admire the collection of delicate glass panes covering the tall pitched doors that signified access to the nave. We stepped through them and, unexpectedly, the people around us faded from my awareness as my gaze traveled upward swept along in the flow of the piers and their colonettes, carried by their current to the calculated tangle of vaulting. I was mesmerized by the height and openness, by the ridges that recalled constellations.
Equally I was enchanted by the duality of the light that blazed and danced through the stained glass in the clerestory, it possessed softness, blue variegated with purple and freckled with pink; yet it pierced sharply against the white geometry ensconcing it.

I found myself feeling insignificant, painfully mortal, yet also inspired, wondering if I had the skill to put the beauty of it on paper.

"It's so big." Mason said in a hushed tone.
"It's actually a lot smaller than the older ones in Europe."
"Impossible." He whispered back.

Mason and I shuffled forward more or less entranced, a harmony of organ and violin music swirled and reverberate in the space. He didn't say anything or take his eyes off the architecture, only took my hand. We followed the aisle passed the ornate chapels, sanctuaries housing religious figures, but I found myself more interested in the supporting ridges, the pamphlet guide called them fan arches. They had an undeniable arboreal quality. The theme was supported by the coloumnettes with their elegantly foliated capitals.

We paused again when we reached the transept, the perpendicular hall that created the cross form floor plan. I found myself lost in the large gothic window at it's end, the graceful pointed arch that matched the stone archways below it was fractured into an arrangement of more delicate shapes. Florets were arranged in rings graduating to larger and larger circles with complimentary rectangular panes below, the array of soft radiating pastels created by the stained glass cast an ethereal ambient light.

Mason's voice interrupted my concentration, "Let's take a picture here." He was smiling with a twinkle in his eye that allayed my fears once and for all. It was clear was enjoying himself.
"Oh, I forgot you were there." I teased. He smacked my shoulder playfully as he moved to my side, then held his phone out to take the most poorly centered photo I'd ever seen. I was forced to reach up and correct it, centering the colored glass just above our heads, angled to include a bit of vaulting. Just as I did he turned to kiss my cheek and snapped another.
"Mason! These will be crooked!" He laughed and let me take over, instead wrapping both arms around my neck. I smiled wider then, a toothier smile that I usually avoid, but I couldn't stop it. He was such a fool.

When I gave his phone back he flipped through the pictures stopping at the last ones that I took.
"I'm sending this to my group chat."
"Agh! What group chat?" I reached quickly for the phone but he twisted and threw an elbow at me managing to dodge my grasp.
"My family group chat."
"Oh sh–"
"Ssssh! We're in church."

We continued our walk down the center of the nave this time to turn and look back at the great rose window of the facade, the organ was mounted below it, giving a lavishly decadent view. A filigree of tracery directed the cool toned panes of the circular floralesque window, the organ had rich dark wood embellished and spindled, safely housing the gleaming silver pipes.

Everything about the artistry of the cathedral worked with an intensity of contrast that I found myself loving. It was a mastery of light and shadows.

Mason leaned close to my ear suddenly, his cheek ruffling my hair and his breath tickling my ear, I shuddered as he spoke in that animal growl of his,
“It would be so peak if you bit me here."

I jerked away from him partially to be theatrical but also out of discomfort. Each time I thought he'd found the most innappropriate time to bring that up he somehow managed to top it later.
"That's sacrilegious!" I hissed as quietly as possible knowing he could hear me and hoping no one else could.
"Are you religious?" He feigned innocence.
I scowled and leaned close to whisper,
"Get lost, you horny ass." Regrettably I could see he was pleased that he'd gotten a rise out of me.

He followed me through the ambulatory which was bordered by a wooden partition separating the choir and high alter from the apse aisle. The partition was ornamented with scrollwork mirroring that of the organ.
Mason stopped to look at one of the statues for a long moment, a forlorn looking man, half clothed, leaning against the knees of the woman behind him and looking up at her. She held one of his hands in one of hers, while the other cradled his head. I was curious what drew him to it.
"What do you like about this?"
He frowned, "I'm not sure. It just feels. Familiar."

After traversing the opposite side we reached the front of the building once again, I felt like I could continue examining everything all over again, but part of me definitely couldn't.
"We should leave, I actually feel a bit nauseous and I wanna go before they start mass at noon."
"Is it the smell? These candle fumes are getting to my head." Mason rubbed his temples.
"Hm. Maybe."

We stepped back out into the sunlight and Mason had to catch me from tripping down the steps in my temporary blindness. We crossed the street then but turned to give the cathedral one last look.

Mason seemed much more comfortable with the city on our way back, we wasted some time sight seeing and then he suggested we spend the rest of the day at his house. I figured I could handle being around the wolves today, I was in a good mood for obvious reasons and I was just about as done with being in public as Mason was. We stopped to get some street food near the train station. It seemed to cheer him up. While we waited he ate and got out his phone.
"Colton wants to know why a vampire would take me to a church." He smirked.
I shrugged calmly and replied, "Maybe I wanted to see you worship like a dog."
He coughed on his bite of food, sputtering and laughing, when I snorted at him he kicked my leg under the table.
"Obviously I'm not saying that! Now who's sacrilegious?" He looked down again,"Oh. Lily says,
Kieran looks as happy as you." I raised my eyebrows at him. I didn't think I'd heard any of them use my name before.
"That's a surprise." I said. Mason chewed his sandwich thoughtfully without responding.

When the train came we ended up in an almost empty car. It was quiet, we were quiet. I leaned my back into Mason and he wrapped an arm across my shoulders.
I closed my eyes for a bit, the cathedral's charm was still lingering behind my eyelids and I found myself thinking about time, about life and death, about the nature of man. Eventually my thoughts turned back to Mason.
I remembered how quiet he'd been most of our trip through the building, I wondered what was on his mind.
"Mason? What did the cathedral make you think of?"

He didn't answer right away, he didn't answer for so long that I tilted my head to look at him thinking he might have fallen asleep. He wasn't asleep, only staring straight ahead, he cleared his throat then but when he spoke his voice was still hoarse,
"Love." He said simply.

An ache washed over me as I understood him. An ache to hold him and never let go.