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"Emily!"
I turned around to see who it was. A man in a disheveled state made its way through the bustling crowd of the airport.
"... Emily"
Even though he was panting, I can still feel the softness in his tone as he uttered my name. That made me smile a little.
"Aaron."
I managed to say as he stood in front of me. Sadness was evident in his eyes. For a moment I was unsure of my decision.
"I'm sorry..." He said, although I can't quite grasp why. "I'm sorry if I am somewhat holding you back." After hearing him say those words, tears started to make their way through my eyes.
"Why did you stay unmarried?"
The question pulled me out of my reverie. I look at my coworker and friend, Lee. I was taken aback by her question.
"Why ask?" I countered.
"Dunno." She said with a sheepish smile.
"I can see you most of the time stare blankly into nothingness. Like, you're somewhat contemplating some decisions you made in the past. " she continued.
Her statement caught me off guard. I never thought of my decisions that way. I always thought that I'm brave for taking on challenges. I never thought that maybe, maybe I'm using those said challenges to comfort myself for running away from the true challenge.
"Don't do that." My words made him look up
"I have loved you for so long that stopping is unbearable. I want to... I wanted to stay with you. If only the old Emily is the one who is in front of you now."I continued I let the tears stream down my cheeks.
I don't really care now. I reached his hand and held it close to my face with my eyes closed. This made him take a few steps closer towards me in order to place his head into mine. Such intimacy in a small gesture.
In a broken voice, he said, "I still love you. Nothing has changed. But I... I don't want to do this to you. I want you to finally be free. I want you to shield yourself from the things that trigger the nightmares. I want you to smile, laugh and giggle like before. I love you, Emily Elizabeth Prentiss. I came here to tell you that. My love for you goes beyond the depths of the ocean, so even if it's hard I will not ask you to stay, but rather encourage you to take your flight. "
My grip tightened on his hand as I tried to envelope myself with his presence. His warmth. His breath on my face. His touch. I tried to memorize it all.
Announcement
"I need to leave" I said.
"Yes."
But neither of us tried to move. I tiptoed and kissed him. It was not those types of kisses we shared behind hotel doors. Not the type of kiss where tongues battle for dominance or those types of kisses that are fueled by lust. No. This time, it was just two longing lips meeting hoping that it isn't the last time, hoping that amidst the ocean that separates them, they'll be able to remember it on a random day at work or anywhere, and instead of sadness, it will be a smile that paints their lips.
The memories made me smile. And I felt a warm envelope.
"It was a decision I made a few years back. Not gonna deny, it's because of a man." I chuckled as I let those words hang. I continued in a more serious tone, "You know what's sad about finding the right person?"
Lee shook her head
"Realizing too late that they were just in front of you all this time." I answered.
"Because of the lateness, you subconsciously let all the chances go. All those times you dance around one another, both thinking to take things to another level, but always too scared. Scared that if you take that step, things will become real. Out of hand. Scared that all of that will fade into memory. Sucks to be the one to break it, but not taking the chance is already reality. A decision that has consequences."
There was silence then a sound of scotch being poured. When did she stand up and pour the liquor. Lee was about to drink when I grabbed it and drowned it in one take.
"I guess that's enough for both of us."
Lee said as she took the bottle. I didn't protest. I was too tired for that. She cleaned up and put the remaining bottle of scotch back into the cabinet. I glanced at the glass window of my office and uttered,
"I didn't really plan it... You know, the unmarried part. But at some point, when I left that airport, I just knew there wouldn't be another man in my life, so I didn't try to find one."
I finally looked at her and continued,
"Although my hopes have deterred, no longer the same as the ones I had when I arrived here. One hope stays the same. That is, at least a glimpse of him in the streets of London. "
I said with a faint smile on my lips.
...........
This time I didn't hail a cab, but instead walked through the pavements of London. The scotch warmed me as a stride in the freezing winter. Glancing at the path I'm taking, I didn't notice a man ahead of me. I bump into him making me stumble a few steps back.
I composed myself and looked up to apologize when the sight of the man made me choke on my own breath. A pair of hazel eyes boar into my dark chocolate ones. This scotch is really hitting hard now, even making me see things. I shake my head to clear my vision, but the same eyes meet mine.
"Em..."
His voice made me realize this isn't a drunken dream. It's him. Standing broad and tall in front of me, in a place where I least expected him. A few lines visible on his face, a sign of the years that has passed.
"Aaron..."
He broke the kiss and ushered me to go ahead. I looked down to see our hand intertwined. I can't let go. I looked up and saw that he had one of the gentlest smiles. A smile that reassured me that I'm doing the best thing. As I walk away facing him, our hands slip away from one another. I saw him try to move, as if to chase my hand, but he managed to stop himself. I turned around. I walked with my back facing him and when I tried to look back, he was still there. Standing and smiling at me with tears swelling in his eyes.
"Hi" I said to him.
"Hello, there" he said.
And Oh, God, that smile. Never fail to make me blush.