Archive of Our Own

You still sat at the same spot you both used to, brushing your fingers over the rough edges of the bench’s wood, trying to relive the moment that was just a memory now. You still looked over your shoulder, hoping to see the same figure approaching.. Sometimes, the rain would match the tears that drop every time your heart clenches, knowing you would never live in the same moment again. You keep promising to not come here anymore, but unknowingly, your feets always lead to the same place. 

But then again, nothing stays forever. No promises, no memories, not even the rain. But he still showed up in your dreams, where he would play the same tune and sing the same lyrics he wrote for you. Sitting on the same bench looking at you with the softest eyes. He would brush his hands against yours then shy away. Sometimes, he would almost kiss you. 

But something always pulls you out of the dream at the exact time, leaving you in that same empty, longing silence.

 One of those days in Miyagi where you would wake up to soft rain pattering against your window, something so peaceful, so calming, yet your mind was anything but calm. You notice the tremble in your fingers when you reach out to take  your phone, you would blame it on the cold, but deep down, it has always been the anxiety to survive another day. 

Scrolling through everyday messages, you still waited for the one that would never come. You wished you had asked for his number, or anything about him in general, but were you ever that thoughtful?

Semi Eita. someone who came into your life and changed it wholly, now was just something that stayed in your heart and mind, not in your life. 

You still remember that night in the middle of June, when you had run away from home, sitting on a wooden bench that was under a tall tree that barely shielded you from the pouring rain. The park was mostly empty, it always was empty, no one other than stray cats and old ladies came here. 

So it was a perfect place for you to spend at least a night here until the rain stops. Then you could start your search for a place to live in. 

So you lay down on the wet bench, trying to sleep on a very small and hard wood. 

That was until a soft voice spoke from behind the bench, startling you. 

“Hey, Are you okay?” 

That was the most gentle tone someone has spoken to you in. and it gave you the chills, because gentle voices don’t always mean good. So you sat up immediately, turning around with wide eyes. 

Stood a boy with messy ash blonde hairs, with dark grey ghosting the tips. His eyes looked soft, but his face looked sharper, almost like a scowl. He had a gigbag slinged on one shoulder, wearing a grey jacket over a black shirt and jeans. The boy looked probably around your age.

Overall a decent looking person, not a creep or pervert. You let out a sigh of relief and sat down back at the bench. 

“Yeah, I am okay.” You muttered, leaning back on the bench.

“Then why were you sleeping alone in this park?” he asked, you couldn’t see his face but you heard the confusion in his voice.

“I wasn’t sleeping….just…relaxing.” 

The boy let out a hum before walking over to sit at the bench beside you. “You don’t mind if I sit here right? I mean technically this is my spot, but for your comfort I'll ask.” he chuckled, setting his gigbag on the ground.

You frowned, was he being respectful or sarcastic? You nodded anyway, turning your head to look at the sky and trees around. 

After a moment of silence, the same gentle voice of the boy reached your ears, “I am Semi, Semi Eita.” 

You looked at him, a little confused as to why he would suddenly tell you his name, did he not have any survival instincts?

“Thought I'd introduce myself if we were going to spend a while here.” he reached for his gigbag, pulling out a classic guitar, setting it on his lap, he turned towards me. 

“I hope you don’t mind a little noise.” he spoke and ran a hand over the strings, before his focus fully shifted on tuning the guitar. 

You watched him intently, the longer you stared at this boy, the more mesmerizing he kept getting. 

 hair wet, rain drops slipping from his cheek, a small frown ghosting his face. Something about him pulled you in. 

“Staring is rude” he snapped you out of your trance by commenting on your creepy staring.

Honestly, deservedly, who stares at a stranger so intensely? You do. Well, he didn’t look mad, so maybe you were safe this time.

“Sorry.” 

“It's okay.”

That's all that he said before his hands moved over the frets, the first note rang soft and clear, cutting through the quiet of the rainy park, each chord he played felt effortless, the music wrapped around the bench and falling rain, filling the space without being loud.

You watched his fingers move, pressing down on the strings with care, sliding smoothly between cords. Sometimes they lingered, letting a note hang a little longer, soft and trembling. There was something calm in the way he played, a kind of quiet focus that made the melody feel gentle and alive.

The tune shifted, playful and warm, and you found yourself leaning forward without realizing it, drawn in by the rhythm of his hands on the strings, the soft hum he made as he found each note, the guitar sang, and in it, for a fleeting moment, it felt like he was playing just for you.

The silence lingered after he hit the last string, and it almost felt like you could drown in it, so peaceful, yet so hypnotic. 

“....Wow…” was all you could let out. You were ‘speechless’ as they say. 

He looked at you, a hint of shock on his face. “What?” 

“I said wow,” You let out a breathy laugh. “This…it was….so…enchanting, I can't even put it into words. You’re amazing at playing this.” 

As you praised his skills, The boy’s face kept moving more and more into disbelief. 

“Thank you,” he said and smiled, a genuine, soft smile that made your heart skip a beat.

“No one’s ever praised my guitar skills, it's…kinda weird to hear.” he finished, absentmindedly running his fingers on strings. 

“What do you mean? They were all just mean people then.” you huffed, crossing your arms. 

“Oh, no, I mean, I have never played the guitar in front of anyone, that’s why it's odd to hear someone say that. But I appreciate it.” 

“Oh.” you nodded, “But you did in front of me, why?” 

His eyes widened a little, trying to think of an answer. “I don’t know?.....you just…felt like you wouldn’t judge me so i did.” 

That sentence struck you, wouldn’t judge him? You never heard someone say that to at least you. Mostly because people would simply assume you were judgemental by taking one look at your face. 

“Um, that’s really nice of you, to..think about me like that..” you cleared your throat, and as the silence fell over again, the rain slowed to a halt. Leaving the trees and pathway wet and clean. 

“So, what’s your name if I may ask?” he shifted, putting his guitar back in the bag.

“Y/N L/N” you replied almost immediately, you liked this guy, he had this vibe around him you couldn’t put your mind to. And you wanted to be friends with him. 

He hummed, getting up from the bench and throwing his gigbag on shoulder. “Alright...So, Y/N, I will leave now. You should go home too."He eyed your backpack on the side of the bench. “And better not stay the night here.” he handed you a cereal bar before walking off.

Having no choice, you went back home as Semi told you to, upon opening the door, you were met by your mother’s figure running towards you, voice laced with concern. 

“Y/N! Oh my, I was so worried, why did you leave the house like that?” she shook your shoulders, talking in your face. 

You gently pushed her away, “don’t worry, I just…went for a walk.” 

“With a backpack?” 

you said nothing to her and ran upstairs to your room, while your mom called after you from behind.

That night, you couldn’t get Semi out of your mind, his hairs, his eyes, his smile, everything kept you awake that night. Did that boy really make a place in your heart in such a short time? You clutched the cereal bar in your fist, smiling like an idiot to yourself. Maybe he did.

That was the day you met Semi Eita, the boy who lit up every moment of your life before it all fell apart. 

The next day during the evening, you walked to the same bench, holding an umbrella over your head. The rain wasn’t pouring that hard today but you still didn’t want to mess up your dress. You just felt like getting ready and taking a walk in the park. It has always made you feel better, anywhere away from your own home makes you feel better. 

Your steps came to an abrupt stop when you saw the same ash blonde hair from yesterday, Semi was sitting on the bench with his guitar, so focused he didn’t even notice a bird that landed on his shoulder.

You couldn’t help but let a smile break through, you felt happy to see him again, so you approached him. 

“Hey.” Sitting down on the bench beside him, you held the umbrella over both of your heads while the bird flew away.

He smiled up at you, “Heyy, you again.” he chuckled, setting his guitar aside. 

“Me again, well, you weren’t lying when you said this was your spot huh?” you said, leaning back on the bench. 

“Of course, why would I lie? I come here almost every time it rains.” he looked up at the dark sky. 

“Really? Do you like the rain?” you raised an eyebrow. Maybe you found someone who was as enthusiastic about rain as you were. 

“No, I LOVE the rain. It's just really comforting isn’t it?” he turned towards you, his eyes soft like white clouds floating in the sky.

You could swore you felt yourself melt, he looked so fragile, something untouchable. 

“Yes, it is, I love the rain too.” 

“Then can you please remove the umbrella from over my head, i enjoy letting rain hit me.” he spoke, holding the umbrella handle from just slightly above your hands, his pinky almost brushed yours while he pushed the umbrella towards you.

Your ears tinted pink but you just turned away. Closing the umbrella, you let the cold rain drops melt into your clothes and hairs. 

You both sat there in silence for a while, drowning in the sounds of soft rain, trees rustling, in the distance, many cars passed by.

“Why were you here yesterday? With that bag and all.” semi asked suddenly.

You fidgeted with your fingers, trying to come up with an answer, you didn’t know if you should lie or just simply spill the truth.

“I ran away from home.” you told him the truth. 

Semi didn’t look surprised, instead, he nodded. “I see, but…why?” 

You exhaled playing with the hem of your shirt, “i don’t know….everything…everything became too much. So I ran away.” you chuckled dryly.

“I understand, I want to do the same sometimes.” Semi spoke in a low voice, as if he was still debating if he should say it or not. “In that dramatic way where you leave a letter and disappear,” he laughed.

But I didn’t say anything, if he wanted to, he could continue.

“Well, I am not really brave enough to do that, so I come here when it rains instead,” he looked down at his lap, brushing his hair back as they stuck to his forehead. “I like playing guitar in the rain.” 

“In the rain? why is that?” 

“Because no one listens.” 

You blinked at him, something tugging at your chest.

“No one listens?” you repeated softly.

Semi shrugged in a careless manner.

“Yeah, when it rains, everyone runs home, no one pays attention, so I can play whatever I want without….messing up in front of someone.” 

You looked at him, his fingers were curled loosely over the guitar strings, dripping rain water, the edges of his hairs sticking to his cheek, he wasn’t embarrassed, just honest, painfully honest.

“That sounds lonely.” you said quietly. 

He breathed out a laugh that wasn’t really a laugh. “Its better than being judged, or disappointing someone.” 

You felt something heavy settle in your stomach, not pity, something else, something softer. 

“You wouldn’t disappoint me.” you said before your brain could stop your mouth. 

Semi froze, just a tiny moment, his eyes flicked up to yours. Like he had not expected you to say, like no one ever had.

“You don’t even know me,” he whispered.

“Maybe not,” you admitted. “But I know how you play, and that doesn’t feel disappointing.” 

The rain filled the silence between you again, hitting the ground in soft, steady motions.

Semi looked away, ear faintly red, like your words had gotten under his skin. 

“You're a strange person,” he muttered, but there was a small smile pulling at the corners of his lips.

You nudged his shoulder lightly with you, “You’re the one who plays guitar in the rain like a dramatic movie character.” 

He snorted, “Ok, fair point.” 

Another moment passed, quiet, gentle. 

Then Semi shifted slightly, placing his guitar on his lap. “So, um…wanna hear something new i made?” 

You smiled, “Sure, go ahead.” 

From that day onwards, you’d meet semi almost everytime it rained, on the days when the skies were clear, and sun shined on the same bench you guys sat on, semi never showed up during those sunlit days. You knew he wouldn’t. 

There would be days where you guys would talk for hours straight, without ever getting bored, Semi was an interesting person on your side, in others eyes, he was an ordinary high school boy., for you, he was the boy that made your life a little something you wanted to live forever. 

You’d pack dinner for both of you sneakily and leave the house, as semi mostly came back after his volleyball practice and wouldn’t eat anything at home. So it was one of those same days, you walked to the same bench, but instead you spotted Semi sitting under a tree with his guitar just a few inches behind the bench, when he saw you, he waved, motioning you to come over.

“What’s up? change of residence?” you joked while walking over, plopping beside him on the blanket semi probably put for you guys. 

He laughed, “I just felt like sitting here today.” 

You kept his bento in front of him and opened it, taking the guitar from him, “eat first.” 

Semi sighed, looking at you, “I have told you before, you don’t have to bring me bentos everyday, i eat dinner at home.” 

You rolled your eyes, handing him chopsticks, “yeah, cereal bars don’t count as dinner.” 

“It does—” you cut him off by shoving a piece of chicken in his mouth, pointing at his bento with a slight nod of your head. “One day, I'll find your starving dead body here if you keep being like this.” 

He choked on the piece of chicken, glaring at you, “Why would you say that? It's weird to imagine!” 

“That’s exactly why I am telling you to eat.” 

Semi shook his hands, quietly finishing his bento while you laughed at his annoyed face. 

He grabbed his guitar again afterwards, playing with the strings before he turned to you, “Hey, Y/N, have you ever played guitar?” 

You closed your bento and kept it aside, “No, I never had a chance to.” 

He nodded, keeping silent for a while before he spoke again, “Wanna try?” he asked, eyes so full of hope. 

You blinked, “Me? No, no, I'll break it.” 

“No you won’t, shut up,” he placed the guitar on your lap, guiding your arms gently to cradle it. 

“Semi, I don't know how to play it, I'll just end up ruining it,” you said, still reluctant about this. 

Semi clicked his tongue before shifting closer to you, "I told you, you won’t, now follow my instructions.” 

Semi explained the stuff about the guitar you needed to know, directing your fingers over the strings, every time his hands touched you, You just prayed he didn’t see the red tinting your cheeks and ears, your heart beat fastened at every shift, feeling the proximity too much than needed to. 

Days passed, You and Semi grew closer, and what felt like liking grew into something deeper, something you couldn’t ignore anymore. 

You were falling in love with Semi Eita, someone who came into your life and changed it wholly. 

 your days felt calmer now, even your mother’s yelling didn’t bother you anymore, you looked forward to spending every evening with him. And somewhere along the lines, you realized semi felt the same. 

The wind was colder than usual that day, mostly because winter was closer, it was one of those unseasonal rains, and since you and semi promised to meet every time it rained, you walked your way back to the bench because you hated breaking promises.

You broke into a warm smile when you saw semi, asleep on the bench, his head resting on the back of it. He was wearing a thick black jacket but his ears and nose weren't covered. Giving them a cute faint red. He was drenched by the rain, and could fall sick. 

Shaking your head, You walked to him, taking off your muffler which wasn’t wet because you had an umbrella over you. Gently grabbing his head, you wrapped the muffler around his neck, covering his ears and nose. 

As responsible semi seemed to be, he was mostly careless about his own health, you had lectured him about it, but he would always brush it. 

He looked adorable wrapped in that muffler, that you just wanted to reach out and boop his nose. 

But that would be too far, so you just sat beside him, shaking him a little, he didn’t wake up at first, and your heart dropped for a second, but when he cracked one eye open, you let out a sigh of relief. 

“You were awake this whole time?” you hit his arm. 

He let out a soft laugh, “Yep, I wanted to scare you by suddenly pulling a “BOO” but you surprised me instead.” He touched the edge of the muffler, smiling fondly. 

“So I can keep this right?” he wiggled his eyebrows. 

“Are you asking or telling me?” 

“Whatever you wanna see it as.” 

You exhaled, “It's an old rusty scarf, why do you want it?”

“Because I like it, it does the job, and it smells like you, I don't care if its ‘rustly’ and ‘old”, I am keeping it.” 

You rolled your eyes, “fine fine, take it.” 

He smiled, clutching the scarf loose end close to his chest.

The rain around you both fell in soft, lazy drops, not more than a drizzle, pattering gently against the empty park, it filled the silence in a cozy way.

“Hey, Y/N?” 

“Hmm?” 

Semi moved closer to you, taking your hand in his gently, “Promise you’ll never disappear on me?” 

His words held in the air for more than a second, you let your brain process it. Disappear? Would you ever disappear? No, you linger, wherever you go, your presence is a meaning to disappointment. So no, you never disappear. 

You slowly nodded, “I promise, I won't.” 

He smiled, giving your hand a gentle squeeze. 

“Also,” he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, leaning too close to your face. “Promise you won't steal my muffler.” 

You gasped dramatically, “More like You stole MY muffler. You charming thief!" 

The evening was spent in quiet laughter, and playful banter. You always cherished the time spent with him.

Semi wasn’t obvious about his feelings, but he wasn’t subtle either. 

The way he’d listen to you like every word mattered, remember things you forget you even said. He always shifted a little closer when he talked to you, always looked at you a second longer than necessary. He’d stop playing the guitar as soon as you arrived, as if your presence alone was more important than anything he was doing. 

Semi Eita liked you—just as much, or maybe more. 

Days turned into weeks, weeks into months, and suddenly 3 years passed like a flash turning off, you and semi didn’t hide it anymore, you both knew there was something that didn’t need to be spoken out loud to understand. 

Maybe you both were wrong. 

Miyagi was once again soaking in the rain, and that was the day everything fell apart for you. 

Semi once again sat under that three, smiling at you the same way, waving just like every other day. You walked over to him, when he looked up at you, his eyes held a rare softness you never saw. 

“Sit,” he said, patting the spot beside him. 

When you did, Semi waited until you settled, “Y/N, i wrote something for you.” 

You raised an eyebrow, something for you? Maybe you knew what it was, but it still made your stomach twist in that weird excitement. 

“What is it?” you asked. 

He didn’t reply, just grabbed his guitar, shifting his focus on it like he always would, the tune started with a slow, calming rhythm, each chord he strummed seemed to ripple through the rain-slicked park. When he started humming in a low but angelic tune your eyes widened. 

he was about to sing for you. 

And he did, so smoothly it almost didn’t feel real at first. His voice wasn’t loud or showy, it was soft and steady. It made your breath halt for a second.  The note blended into the sounds of the rain, like they were made for this place, this moment. 

You’d heard him hum before, but this, this was different, this was him singing for you. Only you.

Your chest tightened, every word felt like it was meant to land exactly where it did. Right in the middle of your stupid, fragile heart. He didn’t even look up at you as he sang, his eyes stayed on the strings, like he was scared of what he’d see if he met your gaze. 

But you watched, his eye brows pulled together slightly, the way his fingers shook just a little, the way he swallowed before the next line, like the lyrics meant something heavier than he wanted to admit. 

And at that moment you didn’t hear a song. 

You heard a confession.

Just not the kind you were expecting. 

The last chord put it all together, and he finally looked at you, his eyes lashes were wet, nose red due to the chilly breeze hitting you both. He smiled, so brightly it could break through the dark sky. 

“Semi..you’re crying.” you reached a hand to rest against his cheek. 

“No, I just got too much into the feeling.” he laughed, wiping his teary eyes. “Don’t worry.” 

He kept his on top of yours which was on his cheek sliding it down and bringing it to his lips, kissing your knuckles so tenderly it made your heart ache. 

Semi makes you feel loved with actions like this, or maybe you just never received enough love in your life that now even the slightest affection makes you kneel. 

“This was so beautiful, no one has ever done something like this for me,i—” you bit your lower lip, your throat felt tight, eyes stinging, “thank you–thank you so much.” 

You wrapped your arms around his neck, burying your face in his shoulder, for a moment, semi paused, but then he returned the hug, hugging you just as tight. You silently cried on his shoulder because you knew he wouldn’t judge. 

“You’re such a lover boy.” you let out a shaky laugh. 

“What?” he snickered against your neck. 

You pulled back from the hug, staring at him. “Yes, lover boy, you’re so romantic and charming, the name fits.”

Semi stared at you affectionately before leaning closer, “Am i..your lover boy?” 

Your breath hitched. For a second you forget how to breathe–think–speak, anything. Face heating up instantly. 

It was stupid how one sentence from him could shake you this much. 

You pressed your hand in the middle of his face, pushing it back. “Go….go away. Ew.” 

‘Aye!” he grabbed your hand, giggling. “That was mean.” 

“It's because you're cheesy.” 

“Hm? Really? But am I? Your lover boy~” he sang. 

As he did so, he grabbed your waist, swiftly setting you on his lap. 

“Semi?” 

“Yes?” 

“Are you crazy?”

“A little.” 

He lifted his guitar, resting it across your lap, his arms came from behind to rest on yours. 

“Let's play together.” he whispered and took your fingers, sliding them on the strings. 

“I don't know how to play but I enjoy this.” you chuckled, leaning back on his chest. 

“Well you can take this guitar then.” semi spoke, looking at you.

“What? No, isn’t this your first guitar? No way.” 

“Excatly. It's my first guitar, I am giving you my heart, take it.” 

Your cheeks warmed and you looked down quickly, trying to hide the stupid smile tugging at your lips. You’d never been someone people gave big, precious things to. Yet here he was, handing you his fist guitar like it was the most natural thing in the world. 

That simple act wrapped around your heart, gentle and secure, making you feel special in a way you weren’t used to.

You both sat like that for hours, you didn’t care about the time, or the rain that stopped long ago. You both just absorbed in the moment, not knowing it was your last. 

Four years since semi disappeared from your life, yet the bench remained. People walked past it everyday, not knowing what it meant to you and You still ended up here more often than you liked to admit. 

The park has become more lively in these passing years, with more families, friend groups, and young high school lovers. 

They reminded you of those high school days where you and semi would sit under the tree, eating bentos, him playing his guitar, laughing like the world around you both didn’t matter. 

And now you sat alone at that bench, cold, empty, still in hope that someday, Semi would walk up to you, his gigbag still on his shoulder, his warm smile swelling your heart, him looking at you with the softest eyes you’ve ever seen. 

But nothing happened, the wind moved, children ran past you in the park, birds chirping in the distance. 

You leaned back on the bench, staring straight ahead, you tucked your hand into your coat’s sleeve, the way you always did when you felt out of place. You tried not to think about him, the more you tried, the louder his memories got. 

Everyone around you seemed to have someone to go home with, you didn’t.

 you hated how empty the space beside you felt, you hated that you still hoped. 

“Promise you’ll never disappear on me.”

Then where was he now?

Taking in a deep breath, you looked around the park for the last time, you decided to not come here anymore, for real this time, no matter how much your heart wanted to. 

Reaching into the pocket of your coat, you took out a piece of paper, it was worn out, wrinkled from being clutched too many times. It was tearing from the sides, and it was time you let go of it. 

So you stood up, walking up to the same tree you and semi used to sit under. You crouched down, digging up some grass before folding the paper neatly and burying it under. 

The winter breeze hit you hard in the face as you walked back towards your apartment, the streets were decorated with bright lights, sky lanterns, and happy new year banners on shops. 

The new year was going to start in an hour, another year wasted in false hope for you, but it wasn’t going to be like that anymore. You had to accept the fact that semi was not coming back, or maybe he wasn’t even alive to start with in the first place. Even the thought made your heart sink. But could you deny it anymore?

You opened the door to a familiar emptiness in the apartment, settling around you like second skin. There was a quit that pressed against your ears. 

You sat down on the floor of your messy bedroom, beside the canopy tent in the corner of the room you had made when you bought this apartment. You always wished to have one of these, but rarely sat inside. The only time you did was when you played the guitar. The classic guitar that settled against the wall just a step away from the canopy. 

You smiled faintly at the sight, you had always cherished that guitar, treating it like a fragile piece that could break from even the wind. After a moment, you shifted and sat on top of a blanket inside the canopy, grabbing the guitar and placing it on your lap. 

You only knew how to play a single tune, the one semi taught you, so you placed your fingers  over the familiar chords and let the melody spill out, soft and shaky, almost swallowed by the dark room around you. 

But as you repeated the melody, something shifted, your fingers knew where to press, the tune slowly took shape, a quiet hum escaped your lips, tentative at first,  then growing steadier, the canopy around you seemed to absorb the shadows, cocooning you in a fragile sense of safety. 

As the close hit 12 ‘o ‘clock, outside, the fireworks erupted into the night, echoing through miyagi like distant bursts of hope, the sound mingled with your music, punctuating the notes with sudden brightness, your chest tightened as tears slipped down your cheeks, but the melody never faltered, instead, it carried the weight of everything you’d missed, every you longed for. 

By the time the next fireworks flared, you were humming freely, letting the room and darkness witness the part of your heart you hadn’t been able to show anyone in years. Your confidence grew with each chord, each hum, each lingering note, until the music not just filled the room, but the emptiness inside you. 

You stood drenched in the heavy rain pouring over you, hitting your face. People have been warned not to step out of their houses due to the upcoming storm, but you never cared about it, because you hated breaking promises. You had run here to meet semi, but found an empty space under the tree, no blanket, no gigbag, for a moment you believed semi is late. But a piece of paper caught your eyes tucked neatly inside a hollow space in the tree, shielding it from the rain, you took it out, covering it with your head as much as possible, quickly opening it. And the world around you felt like it stopped. Even the harsh rain didn’t hurt. You didn’t hear the loud thundering in the sky. 

‘Sorry i couldn’t kiss you for the first and last time, Y/n, goodbye.’

–Semi eita, your lover boy.

You stood frozen in your spot, fingers loosening around the paper, letting rain drops hit its edges, the rain blurred around you, but it was as if the storm existed somewhere else, far away. Each word echoed in your mind, slow, deliberate, cruel. 

You felt a hollow twist in your chest, a quiet sinking that had nothing to do with the cold, everything to do with the letter in your hand. 

Days passed slowly, you went to the park everyday, waiting for semi to show up, he never did. 

You came home everyday with your hope dying, but it never went away, and one day, you completely broke down, locking yourself in your room, you screamed, smashed things, letting out all the pent up frustration from the past days, but nothing compared to the burn in your chest. your favorite decor broke that day, and so did your heart. 

Your eyes fluttered open in the same silent, empty room, you had cried yourself to sleep last night, and your heart felt less heavier, but still beating fast against your chest. 

You stood outside the same park again, of course, you told yourself you weren’t coming here anymore, but it wasn’t a promise. So you exhaled out a puff of smoke from the cold, people expected snow on this day, but instead, rain came in slow, deliberate drizzle, which made you curl into yourself. You didn’t bother grabbing an umbrella, because you wanted to feel the harsh rain hitting you. 

You're still debating if you should step inside, if you did, it would all happen in the same loop, false hope, gaslighting, and in the end, you’ll wound your healing heart again. 

A snowy white cat passed you and went inside the park, it made a sound and meowed at you, as if asking you to come. 

You raised an eyebrow, but followed it anyway, it kept looking back to check if you were coming, you laughed quietly, did this cat choose you as her pet? 

It stopped right in front of the same bench, jumping on it and curling, you sat beside it, gently petting it, you could take it home, maybe you found your companion. The cat snuggled inside your coat, and you sat there for a while, just spending time with a cat because it asked you to. 

It eventually jumped down and went somewhere, and you were left alone once again.

sitting on a wooden bench that was under a tall tree that barely shielded you from the pouring rain. The park was mostly empty, because it was early morning.

So you lay down on the wet bench, trying to sleep on a very small and hard wood. Because it felt peaceful.

That was until a soft voice spoke from behind the bench, startling you. 

“Hey, Are you okay?” 

You froze.

That was the most gentle tone someone has spoken to you in so long. and it gave you the chills, because gentle voices don’t always mean good.

You slowly sat up. Your chest tightened, each heartbeat loud in your ears, as if the rain itself paused to watch, your hands shook uncontrollably, curling around the edge of the wet bench. Breath caught in your throat, shallow and uneven. 

The voice. It couldn't be. But it was. 

Heat pooled in your stomach, the familiar churn of hope and fear twisting together. You wanted to look, to see. But your limbs refused, frozen by the possibility of disappointment. 

Slowly, almost painfully, you turned around. Eyes wide. 

There stood a boy, messy ash-blonde hair falling longer now, brushing the nape of his neck, dark grey tips fading into subtle silver strands that caught the rain. His eyes, still soft, carried a quiet intensity, framed by faint lines that hinted at late nights burdens carried alone. His jaw was sharper, more defined, giving his face a mature edge, and his shoulders broader than you remembered. A worn gigbag rested on one shoulder,wearing a brown coat layered over a black highneck, a white, rusty,old muffler wrapped around his neck. He looked older, taller, more like someone who had grown into himself, yet unmistakably the boy you once knew. 

Your eyes stung, and you stood up, taking a step closer, it was semi, your semi, he was here, really here, you weren’t hallucinating him. 

“Semi….” you whispered. 

Your legs felt like they were made of lead, but your chest refused to stop tightening, tears pricked your eyes, blurring his figure. 

“You…you’re really here…” you said, voice cracking, barely louder than the rain itself

Semi's eyes softened, a small smile tugging at his lips, “We….promised to meet every time it rained.” he said, voice low, careful, as if he was afraid to break the fragile moment. 

You didn’t answer, you couldn't, instead, you stepped closer and wrapped your arms around him, semi didn’t freeze this time, he immediately tightened his hold on you, pulling you closer as if to make up for every lost day. 

“Where were you!” sobs tore out of you. Fists clenching.

You were angry, frustrated, 4 years of waiting, longing, and he showed up like he never left. 

Your shoulders shook, clutching at him as if he was the only thing anchoring you. 

Semi buried his head in your shoulder, and you heard a quiet sniff, before he whispered,
“I’m sorry.” His words came out shaky, “I’m so sorry.” 

You pulled back just enough to look at his face. His lashes were wet, not from the rain, from the tears he wasn’t bothering to hide. 

“You left me,” you choked out, voice raw. 

“I know,” he whispered, “I know....i didn’t want to, i– i couldn’t stay, i had to leave.” 

His breath hitched, body trembling against yours. Semi lifted a hand, cupping your cheek, he wiped away your tears. 

You just stared, sobs breaking through, small sharp sounds you couldn’t swallow. You wanted to forgive him, to hold him against you and never let go.

“I missed you.” You brushed away the hairs falling into his eyes. 

“I did too.” 

“I sat here every time it rained, waiting for you to come back, and you did.” 

“I did.” 

“I hated every single second without you.” 

He lowered his forehead to rest against yours, “Why? Why did you not forget me? Why did you not let me go?” 

“Because I love you, semi!.” you shouted, “I always did, I couldn't let go of you because my heart ached every time I tried to! And you still ask me ‘why?’” 

A sudden gust of rain slapped your back, filling the silence that lingered after your words. Strong wind swirled the tree leaves above your head, making both of you shiver.

Semi pulled back, staring at you, eyes wide, lips parted, his throat bobbed as he swallowed hard, rain mixing with the tears on his cheek.

Then his voice broke, like something inside him finally snapped. 

“God–” 

He let out a trembling exhale, eyes squeezing shut before meeting yours again.

“I love you too.” 

The words didn’t sound practiced. didn’t sound perfect. They sounded ripped straight from four years of regret.

“I loved you then.” his lips trembled. 

he grabbed your hand, cold–shaky. 

“I tried to forget you,” he whispered, voice cracking open, “I really did, but every time it rained….” 

He swallowed hard, “I wished it was you I was running back to.”

His forehead touched yours again, his breath ghosting your face.

“I choose you,” he said, voice quiet but firm, "I am choosing you this time, if you’ll let me.” 

Your breath hitched, the world shrinking until all you could hear was the rain and the frantic pounding of your heart.

Semi’s fingers tightened around yours, lifting your hand to his chest, pressing it right over his heart. 

It was racing. 

“Let me love you properly,” he whispered. 

The words barely left his lips before you closed the tiny space between your faces, your hands slipping up to grip the collar of his drenched coat. 

Semi exhaled sharply, almost a laugh— almost a sob—before his hand cupped the back of your head, guiding you in. 

His lips met yours softly at first.

A trembling, cautious brush, like he wasn’t sure he was allowed to have you.

But when you leaned in, really leaned in, his restraint shattered. 

He kissed you harder, desperate, years of missing you, years of silence and regret pouring into the space between your mouths. Your fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him closer until your bodies collided, soaked clothes clinging, heat bleeding into cold. 

Semi let out a small, broken sound against your lips, something between relief and ache. His other hand slid to your waist, steadying you, holding you like you would disappear. 

You pulled away only when your lungs burned, forehead still pressed together, his breath mixing with yours. 

Semi’s thump brushed against your cheek, Slow, reverent, as if memorizing the shape of you all over again.

His voice came out quiet, barely a sound of tremor between your lips.

Am I still your lover boy?”

You felt something your chest twist, soft, aching, full.

A fragile laugh slipped out of you, breathy and wet with the remains of your tears. Your fingers brushed his jaw, tracing the line of it with a trembling gentleness. 

“You are still my lover boy.” 

You both laughed together quietly, cold and drenched in rain.

“The rain is pouring hard, we’ll get sick.” you spoke, looking at him. 

Semi wrapped his arms around you, “doesn’t matter, its our rain to enjoy.“

and that day Semi Eita cam into your life again, changing it wholly.

THE END