Work Text:
Almond laid his head on Progress’ lap while they sat on the floor of the practice room, trying so hard to not fall asleep but the sleep deprivation was really starting to eat at him. For the past few months after joining GMMTV they had been practicing for fandays and event performances nonstop and he just wasn’t used to the level of physicality. He loved playing basketball and skateboarding but singing and dancing made use of a different set of skills. Skills he didn’t think he had.
He was struggling immensely and he felt so insecure with himself. The exhaustion was also not helping in easing his anxiety. Right now, all he wanted to do was go to bed but he couldn’t because he still didn’t have the song down and he didn’t want to disappoint the fans.
Almond sighed and buried his face in the space between Progress’ upper and lower thigh. He felt like crying but the tears wouldn’t come. Not that he wanted them to right now, but the fact that he couldn’t feel them made him even more frustrated.
Just as he was starting to spiral a bit, he felt a tentative hand touch his nape. The cool touch of Progress’ fingers made him shiver, but the feeling grounded him. The fingers started slightly rubbing patterns on his skin, before moving towards his hair, patting him and pulling the strands ever so slightly on occasion.
“You feeling okay?” Progress’ voice was quiet, yet it echoed loudly throughout the entire room. They were the only ones there at the moment, the rest of the boys deciding that they rather get some food and fresh air.
“‘M fine,” Almond mumbled, then turned his head to the side so his face was somewhat visible. “Just tired.”
“Mond, I’ve known you for more than a year. I can tell something’s bothering you. I’m here if you need to talk it out with someone, okay?” Progress’ voice was soft yet stern and full of concern. Almond found himself both happy that someone cared this much about him but also embarrassed that he couldn’t function like a normal human being.
Filled with thoughts, he flipped himself over, still laying on Progress’ lap but face-up, fully facing him. Finally seeing his face, he saw how Progress’ eyebrows were slightly burrowed, a crease appearing between them. He reached his hand up to it and rubbed it, trying to make it go away. Progress’ face relaxed with the touch, ears gaining their signature red color.
“What’s on your mind, P’?” Almond’s breath hitched. Progress knew his weaknesses and used them against him. He rarely called him P’ so anytime he did, Almond felt a jolt of electricity run down his spine.
Before saying anything, Almond closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Despite knowing each other for a while, it wasn’t until recently that he and Progress actually started to connect on a deeper level. Hardships made it easier to connect, he guessed. After a few moments, he opened his eyes and saw Progress’ huge ones staring right back at him. He felt himself melt.
“Well,” he started, swallowing hard.
“I guess I feel like I’m not good enough. No matter how hard I try, I keep falling behind. It’s… frustrating? I don’t know I just feel like I’m constipated but emotionally,” he stumbled a bit, but he felt like he managed to get his feelings across somewhat. He looked at Progress expectantly, awaiting his response.
Progress pondered for a while. Realistically it was probably a few seconds, but they felt eternal. Consuming. The echoing silence surrounding them didn't help ease Almond’s nerves. Opening up was already scary, but being met with silence in return terrified him.
After a few seconds, Progress opened his mouth as if he was finally saying something, only to close it again. His expression changed from pensive to pouty in such a cute way that Almond’s heart felt like it did a flip. With that pouty expression, he brought his hand from where it rested against the floor to Almond’s bangs, brushing them away from his face. His hand found a new resting place, caressing the older’s cheek.
“I’m honestly kind of shocked you feel that way,” he said after just… looking at Almond, not superficially but really looking. Taking in his entire being. His entire soul.
“To me…” Progress, still looking at Almond, started smiling softly. “You're someone I admire so much. You don't really feel like you're trying hard to please people or appear like something you're not. Of course I know you're a hard worker, but you do have a bit of a nonchalant demeanor. Like you have everything under control.” Almond smirked a little in amusement with that last comment. It honestly shocked him that that’s how he was perceived since he felt like it was so far from the truth.
“Obviously I know that’s not always the case but you just seem so reliable to me.” Progress said, hand playing with Almond’s earlobe mindlessly. The action felt innocent enough, but Almond could feel his ears getting progressively hotter. He wondered if Progress could feel the temperature change and got even more embarrassed somehow.
After some more thinking, Progress continued. “Honestly, this industry is really scary. I don’t always know what I’m supposed to do or what to say. It’s all so new and overwhelming but having you by my side is so comforting. I know I’ve told you this so many times already but I truly mean it when I say I’m so happy it’s you I get to hold hands with.”
Just by hearing those words, it’s like the damn in Almond’s heart broke. He felt the tears flooding his eyes but he didn’t even possess the energy to try and stop them.
“Wow, uh,” he started, choked up already. “I think… I think I really needed to hear that. Reassurance and all that. Thank you, genuinely.” He managed to get the words out even though his voice kept breaking and sobs escaped his mouth. The bad part about him crying is that, each time he did, Progress started crying as well. It wasn’t long before he heard the now familiar gasps of the boy above him, trying his hardest to cry quietly.
Almond didn’t know what possessed him to do what he did next, but he stood from Progress’ lap and kneeled next to him, reaching out to hold his crying face with his hands. He paused, his mind and body fighting with each other, disagreeing with their instincts. Progress’ big eyes, slightly red from crying, looked so beautiful to him and he couldn’t hold himself back any longer.
With some slight hesitation, he inched closer and closer until their lips touched. It should barely count as a kiss, really. It was more like their lips making slight contact. But his heart still threatened to jump out of his chest. This wasn’t his first time kissing Progress. Not even the second. They had already kissed a few times, but they were all work related. He didn’t even give himself the time to think about it deeper. Work was work after all. But this? He did this out of his own free will.
Slowly, he pulled away and, even though he was terrified, he tried his hardest to examine Progress’ face to see if he had ruined whatever they had going on. The younger sat still, face slightly puffy because of his cries. Almond couldn’t gauge anything from his expression. He hadn’t seen him do that face before.
Progress just kept staring, eyes going from Almond’s eyes to his lips right back to his eyes again. Almond genuinely thought he fucked up and his mind started to panic, thinking of a million ways to apologize.
“I’m—”
As soon as he tried to start begging for forgiveness, Progress leaned in and kissed him, willing a startled yelp out of the older’s throat. This time, the kiss felt harder. Less like a slight touch of lips and more like a genuine connection. As soon as Almond’s surprise washed over, he kissed back softly, still testing the waters. The longer the kiss went on, the more confident they grew, the kiss evolving from a peck to a proper kiss.
The sound of their lips meeting echoed throughout the empty practice room, and normally Almond would be so aware of it and also worried about someone coming in and seeing them but kissing Progress felt so good that he couldn’t bring himself to care. This went on for a few minutes until they physically had to separate because they couldn’t breathe.
They sat there panting while so desperately wanting to connect again, but held back. They couldn’t just ignore what happened and pretend it was normal.
“So… what are we?”
“Mond you can’t start with that and expect me to take you seriously,” Progress said through giggles.
“Sorry I genuinely don’t know what I’m doing.” Almond scratched the back of his head, feeling so awkward. He wasn’t lying. He had never even kissed anyone before he didn’t know how these conversations usually went.
“How about,” Progress started talking as he leaned closer again and patted his head as if Almond was a puppy. “We don’t define this relationship right now. Not saying this’ll be a situationship or anything, but we’re like, really busy and overwhelmed. I don’t think we could properly sort our feelings out even if we tried.”
Almond thought for a second, then nodded. This whole thing started because he didn’t know how to properly regulate and express his feelings. They weren’t exactly in a situationship, they would talk about it eventually and clear everything up. Definitely.
“...can I hug you?” Progress said quietly. He didn’t usually initiate physical touch, so Almond welcomed the change. He didn’t answer verbally, instead he opened his arms and let Progress position himself in them.
They were going to be okay. He didn’t doubt it for a second.