Work Text:
Chuuya had been watching Akutagawa all day. Why? Well, let's just say the rabid dog wasn't acting like himself. That deadly concentration and those sharp eyes when he moved were gone. His movements seemed ordinary to many, but Chuuya knew he was clumsier than ever.
He was still, too still, but Chuuya could see him sway every few minutes. Yes, he could attribute that to his anemia, but it could also be something else.
Chuuya finally decided to ask him what was wrong.
Akutagawa didn't answer. He remained motionless, like a deer caught in a flash of lights.
Chuuya didn't have all the patience or time in the world. He demanded an answer.
"D-Dazai-san..." Akutagawa hesitated slightly before coughing, but just mentioning that name gave Chuuya a thousand ideas about why his subordinate was acting that way.
"What did that scoundrel do?"
"Dazai-san set me up on a blind date." Silence.
To say Chuuya was in shock was like saying the sky is blue. His mouth was open, his eyes were restless, and his posture faltered for a second. He had to shake his head several times before he calmed down again.
"Dazai set you up on a blind date? Are you sure he isn’t referring to some business?" Akutagawa coughed again, this time staring intently at Chuuya, and with all the seriousness he possessed, he replied once more.
"No, he specifically told me it was for romantic purposes. He said this was a favor for his 'rigid' friend who was obsessed with work and needed a break."
“What the hell”.
_____
So now, Chuuya is helping Akutagawa to get ready for his blind date. Both of them are all for presentation and giving a firefly impression, but when it comes to personal or non-business related things for Akutagawa then he lowkey just doesn’t care or more like he doesn’t have the enough energy to keep the glamour.
“Are you sure it isn’t some sort of assassination sort of date?”
“I’m sure he specifically said ‘romantic’ date”, Chuuya sighed. What the hell is that Mackerel thinking? Akutagawa is very pretty, yes, nonetheless he’s also a weapon, a mafioso, a murder and he doesn’t scream any sort of romantic energy.
Now he’s helping adjust the corset in Akugatakwa’s fragile body. His clothes were selected by Chuuya as he has been on multiple dates and knows how to dress accordingly. His boy mentioned it was gonna take place in a fancy restaurant near the port, one managed by their mafia, so Akutagawa didn’t need to hide his identity there. Probably only to his date.
After adjusting the corset, they moved into the makeup. Chuuya was surprised to discover Akutagawa’s talent with makeup. The precision, the pulse, everything. Akutagawa only started this a few months ago, but it looked like he’s been doing it since birth.
A white base, followed by dark shadows, contour, black lips, eyeliner and more. His eyes looked sharper, all of him just looked amazing.
“How do I look?” His voice was slightly lower and shyer.
“Like the most beautiful black widow anyone could be blessed getting killed by it.” Cheesy, yes, but that earned a nervous cough from his boy.
“Whatever”… Thanks, he wanted to say but that would be showing vulnerability. Chuuya couldn’t know his opinion was very important to him.
____
The date’s supposed to be at 21:00, but he decided to arrive 20 minutes before.
Some of the staff recognized him and greeted him with high respect. He asked to be in the farthest table possible, preferably a corner. The restaurant was fancy, having a 4.5 stars reputation and being a perfect place to propose marriage for the atmosphere.
He sat down and examined all the place. The amount of people, their ages, clothes, manners, everything. Also the emergency exits, where the staffed mover, etc…
He needed to be prepared for anything that could happen.
Ten minutes later, he heard someone coming closer. He first devised Dazai-San wearing his usual ‘silly face’. What he didn’t expect was his accompany, who he suspected was his blind date.
"You must be joking..." Kunikida said, frowning.
"Oh! Perfect, you're already here, Akutagawa. That means they can start much earlier! How punctual!" Dazai was very happy for some reason.
“What were you thinking?! He is the enemy!” Kunikida was irritated, he didn’t even wanna be here in the first place, but Dazai wouldn’t stop bothering him with getting some “stress relief” with a date, which Kunikida debated that it would be another type of stress, but Dazai couldn’t care less.
"Oh, come on. You're fighting all the time, this is a magnificent opportunity for you to... get along better!" He leaned across the table, his voice melodramatically with a still playful tone. "Two minds like yours are a perfect match! So structured, intense, and susceptible to stress."
"This has nothing to do with getting along better. This is a date. A date? Dazai!" Kunikida could already feel the gray hairs sprouting from his head. His restless foot tapped the floor.
"Dazai-san, if this is a joke, I swear I'll run you through before you even leave the restaurant." Akutagawa wasn't happy either.
Dazai was already walking towards the exit with a light chuckle.
"Enjoy your dinner. I've already paid for the whole menu, so don't worry about anything... except your pride. Goodbye!" And just like that, she left the restaurant, alarming all the other diners. What a humiliation!
“How the hell is he gonna pay for everything? He doesn’t even have money, he always uses mine!” Kunikida’s color faded, realizing Dazai most definitely used his credit card.
Akutagawa saw this, he didn’t feel empathetic nor bad for him, more like a nuisance that wasted time but he was already there.
Kunikida quickly regained himself and faced Akutagawa. He took his seat facing the goth.
“We're already here. There's no point in leaving without eating. It would be a waste of resources."
Akutagawa looked at him with some surprise. He hadn't expected practicality from him, or maybe he was. He still didn’t know the other one well enough to judge.
"Do what you want. Just don't expect me to enjoy this." He coughed, rolling his eyes.
"Trust me, I am not." Kunikida sighed, his foot still with his tick and the habit of shaking.
The first few minutes passed in silence, as they scanned the menu without really reading it.
Until Kunikida, almost against his will, spoke. "Did Dazai say anything else?"
Akutagawa put the menu on the table, knowing he was probably just ordering something light. "He literally just walked up to me, told me I had a date here at 9pm, said he was doing it for his ‘rigid’ friend and then left. I don't understand his logic."
Kunikida chuckled.
"Dazai has no logic. Just chaotic impulses and zero principles." Akutagawa let out a barely audible sound. An attempt at laughter? A less hostile exhalation? Maybe both.
"I suppose we agree on that. He’s someone no one understands.” Maybe for the best.
The waiter arrived. They both ordered the first thing that seemed reasonable to them, trying not to see each other more than necessary.
More minutes passed, the air was thick and the discomfort clear. They didn’t know anything about the other more from what the rumors or Dazai had said in the past. Even their fights, where they both danced, didn't tell much about them. (Or maybe, they didn’t pay any attention to acknowledge it.)
Surprisingly Kunikida spoke again.
“I see that you were here before me, for how long did you wait?” Akutagawa raised an eyebrow.
“Not too long, just a few minutes before. Why?”
“I don’t like making people wait, I always want to be on time, it’s natural. I actually was stressing out because Dazai was still in the bathroom and we were gonna be late.” Kunikida bit his lip, he was mad at Dazai.
“You couldn’t leave without him?” He knew they were job partners but he still wondered why they arrived together.
“Tch, he refused to tell me where my “date” was, so I couldn’t leave without him.” Akutagawa couldn’t say he was surprised, Dazai had always been one to annoy others and being the one with all the information.
“I see.” Akutagawa didn’t mind the silence or the awkward moments, but for some unknown reason he didn’t want to end the conversation there. “He was the same with the port mafia. I still remember the amount of times he and Chuuya fought because he didn’t want to tell Chuuya anything from the mission.”
Kunikida chuckled but his face remained serious, only that the frown disappeared.
“He’s an awful partner. Working with him is tiring and he never does the paperwork!”
“I know, he always gave it to me even though I couldn’t write or read properly in those times. It was no surprise the boss always confronted him about it when he couldn’t understand what the report said.”
Kunikida was surprised by this revelation. He was opening to him through their experiences with Dazai.
“He once excused himself that a dog ate his paperwork while he was walking towards the office.” Akutagawa gave a small smile.
“He once told the boss that Chuuya ate his paperwork too. Something in between the lines that he was some sort of Chihuahua that looked and acted exactly like Chuuya.” Kunikida laughed, a genuine one.
The next hours passed with them talking about different experiences with Dazai and how horrible he was. Then it evolved into more of personal beliefs, work, and more. Yes, they were extremely different, but managed to find similarities in some ways of thinking and executing missions.
Akutagawa even allowed himself some small smiles when Kunikida moved almost robotically when talking about his work
And Kunikida—though he would never admit it aloud—found fascinating the calm intensity with which Akutagawa spoke when he wasn't shouting orders to Rashōmon.
Dinner continued with glances that lasted a little longer than socially acceptable, but none of them seemed to care at that moment.
The moment when their plates were empty, they both knew: Dazai, unfortunately, had been right about something.
There was chemistry between them.
____
They exited the restaurant, walking slowly without having a final destiny. Just the two of them enjoying the breeze and each other company.
“I hate to say it, but Dazai was right about something.” Kunikida stoped and faced Akutagawa. “I needed a break from work, and even if I was extremely opposed to a blind date it turned out relatively well.”
Akutagawa had both of his hands on his chest, his eyes couldn’t leave the sigh of the other man. He wasn’t interested in people’s looks whether they were attractive or not, he couldn’t care less, but for some reason he found Kunikida quite handsome.
“Agreed. I’m not interested in dating anyone or anything related to that… however, I found this date quite delightful and not as pathetic as I thought it would be.” They made eye contact once again, time seeming to stop.
“I guess we could go out some other time.” Akutagawa’s voice was low again but with a hint of genuine interest.
“Mhm, I wouldn’t mind. This time it will be on our terms.” Kunikida smiled, he for sure didn’t want Dazai to organize anything else because of the amount of stress he caused him.
And it was settled, the two of them would have another date in the future, not knowing what they looked for in the other, but just wanting to pass the time without involving work,which was extremely hard but they were at least trying.