Chapter Text
Day -17
To: Cliopher Mdang
From: Vinyë Mdang
Hi Kip,
Hope you are having fun in your spare time! Thank you for describing the court outfit of the Prince of Western Dair in your last letter to me, we all had a great laugh reading over that. Please tell me that you weren’t making it up, it’s so ridiculous I want it to be true! Mother enjoyed it so much that she read it out loud to me instead of tucking it back in the envelope and pretending she hadn’t looked at it as soon as she got the post in the house!
Gaudy and Leona are doing well at their studies, and….
Love, Vinyë
Day 1
To: Cliopher Mdang
From: Vho Suzen
Dear Cliopher,
I am sorry to have taken so long to write to you since my last letter. I thought I would update you on how I am doing since my return from my latest trip.
I have not gotten as much time with my art as I would like, as I have been somewhat under the weather these past couple of months, but have no great concern for myself - I have been seen by a doctor and I will be fine, although I am to take it easy and not over-work too much. It makes me somewhat cranky, I admit - I think you understand the frustration that comes with being told to spend less time with one’s work!
I’ll ask you not to repeat this widely yet, as I haven’t said anything to anyone here. Apparently, despite having been told I would never bear children and taking contraceptive medicine, I have gotten pregnant - I am almost through the third month now. There is only one person the father could possibly be, given the timing, but I have not had a chance to talk to him about it yet, unfortunately.
I have never wanted to be a mother or to raise children myself, and I still don’t - I have art to make! But ending the pregnancy is not an option I want to take either. I am hopeful that the father may wish to adopt the child, but if not I know several couples locally who are good with children and might also be willing. I will not see the child any less than loved simply because I do not want to be the one loving them, I promise you that.
Anyway, in the short term it has definitely cut into my time and focus to make art - and some of the paint smells I normally love are not at all welcome right now - but perhaps in the long run it will provide some more inspiration. It is definitely not how I was expecting to spend the next few months, which I hope will be long enough for any decisions that have to be made to sort themselves out.
Respectfully yours,
Suzen
To: Vho Suzen
From: Cliopher Mdang
Dear Suzen,
I hope this letter finds you well - if the experiences of my family are any guide, the worst should be starting to pass, though I know it does not always go that way. I am glad for your privacy to note that the postal service should leave missives unopened and personal letters to me are not opened by staff. Just don’t address letters to my official title and contents should stay private, as always.
I would hope any man would be glad to help care for, or take up finding care for, any child that resulted from their actions. Certainly I would. The Palace is not, of course, a good place for a baby, but as you know I have quite the extended family and community, and believe they would be happy to help in the early years. I would have to work out the best way to balance my work and a child before they were older, but as you noted, time to wait is also time to plan.
I am glad to hear you will not end the pregnancy, but at the same time I hope you know that I - and any sensible man - would support you even if you did, whether needed for the health of your body or of your mind.
If you have any need of medical care beyond what is available generally, please let me know; I imagine there are specialists in Solaara if needed. Conversely, do let me know if you need would like someone to come there and keep you company or stand by you. I imagine you might rather have that be a woman, but I am always your friend and happy to be there should you wish it. I have enough time off stored to do so.
Your friend,
Cliopher
To: Basil White
From: Cliopher Mdang
Dear Basil,
I really wish you were nearby right now. I have so many questions to ask you about raising Clio. I hope you have survived to raise Clio, and may eventually answer this. Given the lack of response to prior letters, however, I am assuming any questions I might ask would get no timely response. Please do write back if you get this, however, I would still be very glad to hear that you live.
Love,
Kip
To: Vinyë Mdang
From: Cliopher Mdang
Dear Vinyë,
I am glad that you all enjoyed the description of the outfit. I assure you, it was entirely real! He is somewhat constrained by the colors of his province, but it was quite the experience to see it.
(Hi, Mama!)
I have not had a lot of free time but I have been getting time for some lovely walks in the garden, the night-blooming flowers are quite lovely this time of year….
Love,
Kip
To: Cora Laianyo
From: Cliopher Mdang
Dear Cora,
[on the outside of the folded sheet]
Please do not share this letter. If you don’t want to keep secrets, please destroy it unread and send me a note to that effect.
[continued on the inside]
If you’re still reading this, thank you. I do not want my family to know, but if you can find out who is likely to have a nursing child by 4-6 months from now and might be willing to take on a newborn, I would very much appreciate it. This is not a certain thing yet - well, no pregnancy or even baby is, are they? - and I’d hate to start rumors for nothing. But if there is a child, they will need a foster mother for a time.
It would be nice if it was someone related to me, or to a friend, but please don’t make that the primary criteria. I don’t want anyone even guessing which family might have a member asking about that.
Thanks,
Kip
Day 3
To: Cliopher Mdang
From: Cora Laianyo
Dear Kip,
I will ask around! Oh I am so excited for you, I know it is presumptuous but I wish you all of and only the joys of such an event.
Your friend,
Cora
PS - oh - will the delivery be in Gorjo City or somewhere else? If somewhere else, will you need to bring him or her? Will the mother come, or will you need to feed the baby something else during travel? I know the hospital here has some things for infants who don’t have anyone to nurse from, such as if the mother is sick. They say they are not as good as nursing but if you think it might be needed you should find out. Probably Solaara has the same options or more, but if you need me to ask about that, let me know!
Day 6
To: Cliopher Mdang
From: Vho Suzen
Dear Cliopher,
Thank you for your quick letter. I believe you read between the lines, but given your assessment of the safety of the post, yes it has been since I was in the Palace with you. And yes, I could travel there if that would work better for you. I admit I would much rather be at home. I hesitate to ask you to come only to sit around; they can estimate when the baby will come, but of course I gather that babies come early or late all the time. I can quickly write to you via the Lights, but for most it’s quite the trip to get here from there, and I’m not sure how much I can - or you can - presume.
– Your Suzen
As Cliopher drafted the morning agenda, he felt his heart racing throughout, knowing that at the bottom he would be adding– he hoped this wouldn’t distract from his duties or his work too much, but– he made himself focus on the words he was writing now, scribing each neatly and precisely. He did not allow himself to think or move differently as he added, “Private personnel discussion” - a heading that had in the past covered everything from Kiri’s maternity leaves to a few less-pleasant events, although only the very senior-most members of the Upper Secretariat were ever brought up with the Sun-on-Earth, of course.
To: Vho Suzen
From: Cliopher Mdang
Dear Suzen,
If you do not mind the generalities becoming public knowledge at the time*, then I can leave when I get the news and be there in at most three days, more probably less. I may have the use of one of the skyships to allow me to handle this as quickly and discreetly as possible. The exact timing will depend on the Lights turning, where the skyships are, and of course how long it takes me to hand off everything. That last shouldn’t take too long; I already know to be prepared to do a hand-off at short notice.
* Namely, that I am adopting a child (and presumably they will at least guess that it is my own), that I am traveling to the City of Emeralds and then to Gorjo City to pick that child up and drop them off, etc. There is really no way for me to travel, especially on short notice, without setting rumors going; what people might invent without any information would probably be worse. But it does mean they might go looking for the mother.
Will you want to nurse the baby, and if so would you want to travel to Gorjo City with me? Or should I plan to take just our child there? If you don’t come along, I may be able to keep your name out of the rumor mill at the Palace. The proper paperwork will have to be filed, of course, so they may still be able to dig it up by learning where I traveled and then requesting records, but I will be doing some research on that, including whether it would be possible to keep your name out of it if you would prefer.
Please do let me know if there is anything at all I can do to help - either now or if you need anything.
Yours,
Cliopher
Day 11
To: Cliopher Mdang
From: Vho Suzen
Dear Cliopher,
Obviously people here will know that I have had a child and given it up. I do not mind if people work out that it is yours, I just do not want them to think that we are in a romantic relationship or about to get married. Discretion is good, but they’re not going to pester me if it gets out. You don’t need to worry about me or anything here until the baby arrives. I will let you know if that changes, but I have plenty of people here and can manage.
The sky ships sound like the perfect answer - I am so grateful he is willing to let you use them for this! It will keep your absence to a minimum, which is probably ideal given how very busy you are.
Some day, I would love to visit Gorjo City. Immediately after giving birth is not going to be that time, I do not think, and I - forgive me, I absolutely do not want to nurse this baby. Carrying it is preferable to the alternative, but about all I can tolerate of a baby. I am glad to hear the healers may have an answer until you and it reach Gorjo City.
I do hope I can leave the paperwork for you. You are always so capable with it, and it’s not my forte even when I am not feeling somewhat peaky.
Thank you for understanding,
Suzen
Day 23
To: Cliopher Mdang
From: Cora Laianyo
Dear Kip,
I asked around and I’m afraid it did start a few rumors, but the good news is none of them are about you. (One is about me, and how they think I would get pregnant now, let alone not be able to nurse the baby if I managed that, I am not sure!)
Thank you for this, I’ve had a good time asking around, and also gotten to hold a couple babies. Attached is the list of likely possibilities, which could of course change over the months to come. You (or I, or someone) will need to confirm whether or not they can do it when the baby actually arrives. Whether they’ll have extra milk then remains to be seen at the time. But they are all willing as long as they are able then.
Your friend,
Cora