Work Text:
Left.
Nah.
‘Only flings’? No, thank you.
Why is he just partying in all his photos? Pass.
Oh, he’s kinda cute— ‘hates dogs’? Who would hate dogs?
Renjun sat swiping on Bumble at his usual table at his usual café with his usual cup of tea while he waited. The café was buzzing with people this early morning as they attempted to fuel themselves on espresso in preparation for a tough upcoming Monday. As a freelance illustrator, Renjun didn’t have an office to go into so he made this café his workspace during the week.
Renjun had swiped through a few profiles before he felt a sudden weight on his shoulder as a head fitted itself perfectly next to Renjun’s.
“Took you long enough, Jeno,” he scolded without looking up from his screen. The weight lifted and made its way to the other side of the table.
“Sorry, the line was longer than usual. I guess the whole city needed their coffee today.” Jeno replied, sitting down giving Renjun a good look at his outfit. Jeno was rocking his usual black hoodie and grey sweats. His straight, dark hair was down. Through his square, black-rimmed glasses—without lens ever since he got LASIK— he flashed his signature eye smile as he slid over a cheese danish as a peace offering. Readily accepting it, Renjun accessed his own fashion.
Unlike Jeno, Renjun was in a nice warm-toned button down shirt with brown, pressed dress pants and loafers—a slight heel for a bit of a height assist. His hair was stylishly parted down the middle to expose his forehead.
It always baffled him how the two could grow up together, yet be totally different. Both of them worked from home—Renjun as an illustrator and Jeno as a UX/UI designer—yet Renjun always made the effort to dress up. It made him feel good. While Jeno chose comfort. But it’s their differences that really make them work well, Renjun believes, as their differences are what complement each other best.
“What were you doing on your phone anyways?” Jeno asks, breaking through Renjun’s thoughts.
“Swiping through Bumble.” Renjun replies.
“Again? Didn’t you delete that app months ago?”
“Yeah, but I started thinking, ‘wouldn’t it be great if I knew what it was like to date’?”
“You said that last time,” Jeno cocks an eyebrow. Renjun stares daggers at him until he throws his arms up in surrender, “Just saying. Besides, dating isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”
“Easy for you to say! You’re Lee Jeno, elementary, middle, and high school heartthrob! You had girls and guys lining up for a chance to just be seen by you.”
Jeno wouldn’t understand what it was like to be in his shadow. Even though he’s dressed like he just crawled out of bed, he’s still stunning. Renjun sighs. The prettiest people never realize how pretty they are. And Jeno was always clueless to the rumors that would go around about them. How close they were. The thought makes Renjun’s face warm up, but he pushes the feelings aside. He looks down at his phone as a distraction.
“Oh! He’s pretty cute.” Renjun holds the phone up for Jeno to see. On the screen is a man around their age. He’s sitting comfortable in an armchair wearing a nice brown leather jacket over a Ralph Lauren t-shirt and a pair of well fitted jeans. His dark hair is styled fashionably and he has a big cheesy grin that makes his glasses crocked on his face.
Mark Lee, 26
Hockey Coach
Hi, I’m Mark! You can mark me in you heart~
I’m from Canada but moved around a lot when I was young. I’m looking for a place to call home and along the way hopefully someone to connect and settle with.
I’m not a great cook, but I’m a great restaurant picker!
“He’s ok, I guess, in a sort of nerdy way.” Jeno mumbles. Renjun rolls his eyes and swipes right.
It’s a match!
“Hah!” Renjun exclaims. Happy with this outcome—yet not quite ready to make the first move—Renjun puts his phone down and opens his laptop.
“I don’t get your want to date so bad.” Jeno says taking a sip his coffee, “There’s so many weirdos out there.”
“I just want to say I’ve experienced it.” Renjun answers. All his life, Renjun has focused on his career, friends, and family. Now he’s 25, 26 in just a few months, and he’s never even had his first kiss! Renjun doesn’t regret his priorities, but seeing all his peers date makes him feel a bit left behind. Jeno wouldn’t understand, he bloomed right on time and dated his fair share of men and women since they were teens. Renjun’s just grateful that no matter who Jeno was dating, he never forgot about Renjun.
“Renjun, you know you don’t need to…”
“But I want to.” Renjun huffed. Jeno shook his head and pulled out his own laptop to work on.
Hours passed since Renjun and Jeno began working beside each other. Patrons came and went, the lunch rush passed, and after many cups of coffee, tea, and shared pastries the two were ready to call it a day.
“Want to get dinner tonight?” Jeno suggest as he stands to stretch.
“Sorry, I can’t, Chenle’s cooking tonight and you know how he is about ‘family dinner’,” Renjun responds. Jeno pouts and sits back down.
“It’s fine,” Jeno sighs, “Leave your best friend to starve. Is this what it’s like to grow apart?”
“Don’t be so dramatic,” Renjun rolls his eyes. He stands to reach over the table and mess up Jeno’s hair. “I’ll see you right here, same time, same table. Why don’t you ask Jaemin to hang out?”
“It’s his and Haechan’s Anniversary week.” Jeno leans back in his chair. “He’s made plans and they’re going to be all gross and in love.”
“How about, to make up for my abandoning you, I make sure Chenle makes you extra of what he cooks tonight?” Renjun swears over his heart. Jeno sits up.
“Really?”
“Promise.”
“I love you Renjunnie~”
“Yeah, yeah,” Renjun says containing his flush at hearing Jeno call him ‘Renjunnie’. As if an answer to his prayers for a distraction, he gets a notification on his phone.
“It’s him!” Renjun gasps, “It’s the Canadian guy!”
“Oh, that’s great, are you going offer him Chenle’s cooking, too,” Jeno seemed to sneer.
“Nooo,” Renjun retorts putting his phone away, “I’m not even going to answer him now because I gotta get home!”
As soon as Renjun steps into the apartment, he’s greeted with the most delicious aroma. The smell of braised pork filled the air, leading Renjun to the kitchen where he finds his two roommates. Over the stove is Chenle, slaving away over a wok full of pork belly. He wipes his forehead, pushing aside strands of his purple tinted hair that fell over his eyes. At the kitchen’s island, is Jisung, meticulously separating a head of lettuce with the concentration of a man told to disarm a bomb. Renjun takes a step, breaking Jisung’s concentration.
“Ah, hyung! You’re finally home!” Jisung’s shouting causes Chenle to divert his attention from his own task.
“Renjun! You’re just in time, could you set the table?”
“Sure, but what exactly is Jisung doing?”
“I was given a very important task.” Jisung nods shifting his focus back to his assignment.
“He wanted to help so I told him to prep lettuce for the salad.” Chenle added. Renjun shook his head and made his way to the dining area. However, before he began setting up, he decided to take a peek at his phone. He opens Bumble to read the message left for him by Mark.
Hi there! Just wanted to say that your artwork is really cool. How long have you been painting?
A simple enough opening. Renjun appreciates that Mark took the time to look through his photos at his paintings.
Thank you! I’ve been painting since I was little. I find that it’s the best way for me to express myself. What about you? Any hobbies?
Renjun hits send and puts his phone back in his pocket to get back to making the table. He managed to set one plate down before his phone buzzed. It was Mark again. Renjun notes that Mark must be pretty eager to talk to him.
Oh wow! I’m so busy these days that I don’t really get to have any hobbies lol. But I used to play guitar. Oh and I like to sing :)
OMG I like to sing too! What kind of songs do you like?
“Who are you texting?” Chenle calls from the kitchen just as Renjun hits send on his message. “Is it Jeno? You guys literally just saw each other!”
“Shouldn’t you be cooking? How did you even see me?” Renjun asks, moving quickly to set up the table. He can feel his phone buzz again, but he decides that Mark can wait until after ‘family dinner’.
“I can sense it,” Chenle says, turning the heat on the stove low. “I can feel there’s some drama afoot!”
“There’s no drama,” Renjun sighs, “also could you—“
“Make enough for Jeno too? Already added his portion.”
“How did you know I would ask?”
“You ask every family dinner. He’s basically like your husband or boyfriend or—”
“Or best friend?”
“I thought I was your best friend.” Jisung looks up sadly from his carefully stacked mountain of lettuce. Chenle reaches over to pat his back.
“You’re also my best friend, Jjwi. Jeno’s just also my oldest friend!”
“Yeah, your hot oldest friend.” Chenle adds, “anyway, dinner’s ready. You can tell me who you’re texting when we sit at the table.”
The night goes as expected. Chenle grills Renjun about who he’s texting.
“You’re on dating apps, again?” He asks.
“Yes, and I just matched with a Canadian guy today—”
“Oh my God, you’re going after Canadians when your best friend is Lee Jeno?”
“Ahem,” Jisung coughs. Chenle ignores him.
“For the last time, Jeno and I are just friends! I’ve told you this how many times over the 7 years we’ve known each other?” Renjun retorts, feeling embarrassed. Chenle always teased the two of them. It’s too bad Renjun can’t tease him back. Chenle’s self-esteem is made of steel and the man is aroace on top of that so he doesn’t develop crushes easily.
“Ok fine, but does Jeno at least know you’re talking to some guy?”
“Yes Jeno knows, he was there when I matched.”
“And he’s ok with you talking to strangers on the internet?”
“I’m an adult, Chenle, I can decide who I talk to.”
“I don’t know, hyung,” Jisung speaks up, “there are a lot of weirdos out there…”
“You sound like Jeno.”
“It’s alright, Jisung,” Chenle reassures Jisung, “When the time comes for Renjun to go on a date, we’ll make sure everything goes safely.”
“What do you mean by that?” Renjun asks.
“Oh, you know, we’ll find a near by booth, and stake out. Make sure the guy is ok and not a psychopath murderer who has a thing for small, adorable, Chinese men!”
“You are not doing that.” Renjun shoots back.
“Jeno would do it,” Chenle pouts.
“Jeno would not!”
“Would, too! He’d stop a bullet for you. Heck, he’d stop a meteor for you!”
“That’s because we’re best friends. I’d stop a meteor for him, too.”
“I’d stop a meteor for you too, hyung!” Jisung chimes in trying to join the conversation. “And you too Chenle! I don’t want anything to happen to either of you!”
“Aw, Jjwi…” Renjun can’t help but feel touched. “I’d stop a meteor for you both, too”
“This isn’t where I wanted this conversation to go.” Chenle shakes his head. “What about other matches? Or is it just the Canadian?”
“I’m not telling you anymore.”
“Come on! I give great dating advice!”
“You’re aroace bro…” Jisung remarks.
“I’m chock full of third party wisdom!”
Renjun sighed. He began to explain to Chenle the few other matches that Renjun had. 5 in total. One never responded to him and two stopped responding after a day of chatting. One was nice enough guy, easy to talk to, but after sending one last message—just a casual one talking about the subway systems—he suddenly unmatched Renjun.
“Lame, that guy is missing out.” Chenle retorts.
“Maybe he found someone who could match his dating wants.” Renjun shrugs.
Another match was a doctor. Renjun really only matched with him on a ‘maybe’, and messaged first because he was curious about something on his profile. The guy only talked to him for three days and had asked him out but Renjun couldn’t match the schedule. He also got a weird vibe because the guy kept trying to sneak in ways to mention he worked in a clinic, like a weird flex. The guy ended up not responding to Renjun and Renjun wasn’t going to chase so that was that.
“Yeah, it’s weird that he kept mentioning he was a doctor,” Jisung pipes up. “Like it’s a good job and glad he helps people but I think mentioning it once if asked is enough.”
“Agreed” Renjun says and Chenle nods.
After that, it just leaves Mark, but they just started chatting so there wasn’t much to say, so the topic changed and family dinner went on as it always does.
The next few days go on as routine. Renjun gets up, gets ready, heads down to the café to meet Jeno and get to work. Intermittently, he would respond to Mark whenever he could, trying not to seem too eager, but also making sure not to ghost him on accident. While it would take Renjun from 40 minutes to 2 hours to respond, Mark would get back to him right away. Renjun wasn’t sure how he felt about it. It seemed that Mark was far more into Renjun than Renjun was into Mark.
But he still gave the guy a fair chance. After all, Mark was nice enough. He sang in his church choir, but he really enjoys listening to Frank Ocean. He’s a high school hockey coach so he spends a lot of time with students and even volunteers to teach hockey to even younger kids. And he seems to genuinely care about them. The only issue, the topics drone on. Mark is very good at finding something to bring up about a topic even though Renjun feels like it’s dead.
“I just wish I could change the topic without being so abrupt.” Renjun sighs. It’s been four days and they’ve only talked about 2 things. Music and Renjun’s paintings. Renjun tried to get Mark to talk a little bit about his work but it didn’t go far.
“Why don’t you?” Jeno responds without looking up from his computer. Today, he’s wearing an oversized plaid button up with dark jeans and ratty old sneakers. No glasses today, the little mole next to his right eye fully visible. “You do it with me all the time.”
“It’s not the same. Normal people don’t have three conversations at the same time.”
“Pfft, since when did we want to be normal?” Jeno scoffs playfully.
“I can’t let them know my quirks yet!”
Jeno laughs and Renjun basks in his adorable eye smile.
“I mean it.” Renjun whines, tapping Jeno’s foot with his own under the table, “We’ve been on this topic for so long. I didn’t think we could find more about it to talk about! But he’s so nice, I don’t want to leave him hanging.”
“Look, Jjun, if you’re not feeling it, you’re not feeling. Nothing wrong with that.”
“I know, I just feel bad.”
“Don’t.” Jeno’s gaze steels for a moment before softening again when he locks eyes with Renjun. “You shouldn’t do things just because you feel bad about it.”
Renjun sighs. He knows Jeno’s right, but at the same time, he doesn’t want to go back to square one again. It’s exhausting swiping and messaging people. And it’s not like Renjun has many people to talk to about this. Jisung’s too baby and Chenle’s spent the last four days plotting which were the best seats to hide out at in each restaurant for maximum spying.
Jeno’s different though. He listens to Renjun and doesn’t judge. He gives advice but only when Renjun asks for a solution. Jeno’s considerate like that.
“I think I’m going to give this a fighting chance.” Renjun decides. Jeno looks up and after a moment, quietly nods. Renjun flashes him a sweet smile. Jeno physically relaxes. Renjun’s phone lights up with a notification and he can see Jeno tense up a bit again. It must’ve scared him.
Renjun looks and sees a message from Mark.
Hey! How was your day?
Oh just working like usual. Kinda boring ngl lol.
What’s boring?
Renjun blinks What kind of question was that?
My day? Haha
Renjun wasn’t sure how else to respond. It was an odd question and he felt like he was pretty clear, but maybe there was a misunderstanding. It happens.
“You look irritated.” Jeno speaks. He looks over his laptop at Renjun with concern in his eyes.
“It’s nothing,” Renjun laughs off, “Just something confused me is all. I can look passed it.”
Renjun could see Jeno wasn’t convinced, but before he could push further, Renjun changed the topic. “How’s Jaemin been? I haven’t seen him in awhile.”
“He’s doing fine…” Renjun could tell Jeno didn’t want to drop the subject, but was grateful he allowed the topic to change. “He and Haechan are still celebrating their anniversary and I’m sick and tired of it.”
“It can’t be that bad.”
“They keep calling each other ‘baby’ and baby talking to each other.” Jeno says rubbing his face. “The other day Haechan forgot to turn the voice off and started baby talking to me! ‘Jenow~ would you pwease owder us some dinneo? I’m hungy.’ I wanted to die.”
Renjun couldn’t help but chuckle. Jeno hated the baby talk, the mushy signs of affection, he doesn’t even like being called “baby”. He was an introvert through and through and no matter who he dated, he would not be changed. Renjun suspected that’s why Jeno couldn’t keep a relationship. His partners would always want some form of physical affection but that just wasn’t Jeno’s style. He was quiet but he showed love best through his actions. Whether it be helping his older sister with a chore, buying a new scratch post for Jaemin’s cats, or going out his way to buy a fancy brush Renjun mentioned wanting in passing once.
Part of Renjun was selfishly happy Jeno couldn’t keep a partner. It meant more of his heart could be given to Renjun. As a friend of course. They could be forever alone together.
Just Renjun, Jeno, and Chenle.
Chenle?
“What are you doing here?” Renjun asked as his bigheaded, noisy roommate makes himself comfortable at Renjun and Jeno’s table.
“I sensed we were talking shit and came as soon as I could.” Chenle says as he takes a bite of his croissant.
“Who’s we?” Renjun and Jeno say in unison, which seems to make Chenle’s Cheshire Cat grin bigger as he looks between the two of them.
“Ok, ok, you got me! Jisung’s at classes all day and I was bored at home alone with no one to pick on.” He says taking another bit. “So I couldn’t help but overhear. Are Jaemin and Haechan being all lovey-dovey again? Need a place to stay, Jeno?”
Renjun can see Jeno’s ears turn red and Renjun assumes it’s because of Chenle’s damn voice. It’s like he wants the whole café to hear him!
“I’m fine,” Jeno says quietly. “It’s a lot more mellow than when they started dating three years ago. I’ll live.”
“Besides, we don’t have a spare bedroom he can use. What’s he supposed to sleep on? The couch?” Renjun adds.
“That’s too easy! He can share your bed, duh!” Chenle answers, causing Jeno to choke on his drink and ignoring the daggers Renjun is staring into him. “Come on! You guys always told me about the sleep overs you would have as kids!”
“That’s different.” Renjun says with his hands on his hips. The people around them must be getting the wrong ideas about him and Jeno, now.
“What’s so different? Suddenly you can’t share a bed? What do you think’ll happen? Life isn’t a fan fiction, Renjun.” Chenle retorts back. “You can share a bed and not wake up cuddling.”
Renjun can feel his face warming up. Jeno can’t even look up from his computer anymore, he must be so embarrassed to be associated with Renjun that way.
“Chenle, I mean it, cut it out.”
“Fine, fine,” Chenle throws his hands up in defeat. “Jeno can deal with Jaem and Haech sucking face but what about you, Renjun? How’s it going with that Canadian Guy?”
“It’s...fine…” Renjun hesitates.
“Just ‘fine’?” Chenle pries.
“It’s only been four days, Chenle! I barely know the guy!” Renjun hisses, “Can’t you ask us about how work is going or something mundane?”
“Fine,” Chenle pouts, “How’s your work going?”
“Well, I finally figured out what bug was causing my client’s crash after adding this specific item—” Jeno began explaining before Chenle cut him off.
“See this is why I don’t ask about your guys’ work. It’s so boring!”
“Well not all of us can spend all day watching Steph Curry compilations.” Jeno grumbles.
“Hey! I’ll have you know I’ve also been testing out different recipes.” Chenle says proudly, “I’m thinking of opening my own restaurant!”
“This is news to me.” Renjun’s interest is peaked.
“Yeah, it’ll be the perfect date spot. Lots of places to eavesdrop—I mean, have privacy. You two should be my first customers!” Renjun slumped. He should’ve known Chenle wasn’t being serious.
“It’s good to have goals,” Jeno nods. Renjun’s always glad for Jeno’s level-headedness. He never outright mocks Chenle, and he meets Chenle at his level to encourage and steer him in the right direction.
“I’m serious about the restaurant!” Chenle says. He has a twinkle in his eye, but not his usual mischievous kind. “I love sharing my food and I think it’d be neat to share it with everyone. But we’re not here to talk about me! Jeno, that girl over there has been eyeing you since I got here!”
Serious Chenle was great while it lasted. Renjun sighed and pinched Chenle’s leg. He let out a small yelp. “Stop picking on us. You want to know how it’s going with the Canadian?”
Chenle nods. Renjun notices that even Jeno is listening attentively, even if he’s pretending to be focused on work. “It’s ok. I’m starting to get bored and he asks pretty lame questions. But I’m more afraid that I’m self-sabotaging than giving the guy a chance so I’m going to give it a bit more time.”
In the corner of his eye, Renjun can see Jeno let out a sigh. Probably disappointed that Renjun would keep trying to go on with the conversation, but it’s what he feels like he should do right now. Chenle on the other hand seems to be thinking, occasionally stealing a glance at Jeno. He’s not jumping in his chair from the spilt tea as Renjun thought he would.
“I think I’m going go home.” Chenle says suddenly getting up. “Jeno seems busy right now so I won’t bother him anymore.”
“Thank you,” Jeno says quietly. He really must be done with Chenle for the day. Understandable, Chenle’s a major E and Jeno’s a major I, it must be draining to be around Chenle for him. So they bid their goodbyes and get back to work.
Another week passes and the conversations with Mark aren’t getting better. Renjun finds himself preferring to watch the latest drama episode or read the next chapter of his book than respond to him which can’t be a good sign. He’s even left Mark waiting while he and Jeno grab lunch or a movie together. Spending time with Jeno is always enjoyable, but has it always been to this degree? Renjun puts aside his thoughts as he approaches the small group of people waiting outside.
“How’s Canada?” Haechan asks as Renjun walks up. Of course Chenle ran his big mouth to Jaemin and Haechan while they were standing around. Renjun tried to glare at Chenle, but he just avoided eye contact.
Jaemin suggested this restaurant, saying it had the tastiest Malatang in the city. Renjun and Chenle loved Malatang, and since Chenle actually did want to open a restaurant, he thought it would be a great chance to interview the owners and managers.
“He’s good, I think” Renjun answers Haechan. “The other day I was telling him about my current project. He was asking about it.”
“That’s good! He’s interested in your work.” Jaemin exclaimed.
“Unlike someone I know.” Haechan pokes at Jaemin, who ignores him to grab his hand. They can be so hot and cold sometimes but at the end, they still love each other. Renjun envies them.
“Well…,” Renjun hesitates, but continues, “ Right after, I told him I had a lot due for a deadline and he asked me what I had due.”
You could hear a pin drop in the silence.
“But don’t get me wrong! He’s a nice guy.” Renjun feels bad for painting Mark as this horrible guy when in reality, he’s just kind of lame.
“Well, at least he’s nice,” Jaemin nods, clearly not convinced.
“I told him I was trying out a new restaurant and he was totally happy that I had close friends I could try things out with.” Renjun adds. Mark was a good guy. Renjun was doing everything he could to not lose interest.
“You know, you don’t have to rush into dating.” Jaemin says. “Be picky about who you let in and all that.”
“That’s what I tell him!” Jisung chimes in. Renjun rolls his eyes. “I keep telling him that there’s so many weirdos on dating apps!”
“You know we met through a dating app, right?” Haechan says.
“Yeah, neither you nor Jaemin hyung ease my mind about dating apps.” Jisung states matter of factly. Jaemin tightens his grip on Haechan’s hand to calm him down.
“Anyways,” Haechan continues, “This guy doesn’t seem that bad.”
“Who doesn’t seem that bad?” Renjun hears Jeno’s voice as walks up to the group. Renjun turns to greet him but immediately loses his breath. Jeno’s dressed in a well-fitted black button up dress shirt with matching black dress pants and polished loafers. His hair is styled up, exposing his forehead and accentuating his handsome features. Renjun noted that he looked good.
Really good.
Of course Renjun has seen Jeno dressed his best before, but it doesn’t change the fact that he can feel his heart in his throat and he has to remind himself that he’s seen this man eat dirt on a dare before.
“Woah, hyung, what’s the occasion?” Jisung steps in, bringing Renjun back to reality.
“I had an in person meeting today with a client.” Jeno says shyly. “Didn’t have time to change before heading over here.”
“I think you look great!” Renjun says. He thinks he notes a hint of color on Jeno’s ears but there’s no way. He must have imagined it.
“You look better than those two.” Haechan says pointedly at the two younger ones.
“Yeah, who wears a pair of jeans and an old tee to a high end restaurant?” Jaemin adds. Jisung suddenly gets very interested in his dirty sneakers.
“I came here to observe,” Chenle shrugs, “Now let’s go in before they give away our reservation!”
Dinner was expectedly delicious, though Renjun admits it’s not as delicious as Chenle’s cooking. Not that he would ever tell Chenle that. His head is big enough. The only casualty during dinner was Haechan who drank a little too much and started clinging to Jaemin.
“I’m gonna take Haech home.” Jaemin says after their meal, “You go on without me, Jen.”
“Are you sure?” Jeno asks looking at Haechan with concern.
“Yeah! I think you should walk Renjun home.” Jaemin adds, slightly pushing Jeno toward Renjun. Renjun wonders what could mean. He was perfectly sober and capable of walking home on his own. Besides he has Chenle and Jisung to keep him company.
Renjun looks over and notices Jeno and Jaemin having an intense conversation but decides it’s best not to pry as Jisung runs up to him followed by Chenle.
“Hyung!” He cries, “Chenle and I are going to head to the arcade.”
“Oh, I was a bit tired—” Renjun starts.
“That’s ok, you can head to the apartment and rest.” Chenle interrupts, “There’s a special going on so we’re going to be there for awhile.”
“Oh, ok, I guess I’ll start heading back—”
“Jeno will go with you!” Jaemin shouts.
“Oh that’s great! The buddy system.” Jisung gives a sigh of relief.
“I can walk myself home!” Renjun pouts.
“Think of the meteors, Renjun!” Chenle shouts as he begins dragging Jisung away to the further subway station. “The meteors!”
“Damn those meteors!” Renjun shouts after him.
“What’s this about meteors?” Jeno asks as he walks up beside Renjun. Jaemin managed to wrestle Haechan into a cab and head out.
“Nothing. It’s just a stupid metaphor Chenle made up about our friendship.”
“How is our friendship like meteors?” Jeno asks. Renjun just shrugs, exasperated as they began walking.
The five minute walk to the subway station was silent, but comfortable. Renjun enjoyed just being beside his friend, letting the chill night air redden their noses. Renjun thought back to all their walks together when he remembers that he got a notification during dinner.
“Oh right, Mark!” Renjun stops in his steps, Jeno stopping with him. “Just gotta let him know I finished eating.”
Renjun opens the app to see Mark’s message.
Hey! How’s your evening been?
Good! Just finished up and heading home now.
Oh cool! Where’d you go?
Renjun blinks. He double checks that he told Mark where he would be tonight. At a restaurant. With friends.
“What is it?” Jeno asks. Worry written all over his face.
“I give up.” Renjun states.
“What do you mean?”
“He asked where I was today. After I told him yesterday where I was going.” Renjun continues, “maybe Chenle’s right. People suck. Being single is amazing.”
“Is that how you feel?” Jeno asks.
“I mean, it’s not bad being single.” Renjun whines, “I just want someone to hold me and make me soup when I’m sick and tell me he loves me!”
Jeno looks like he’s about to say something but stops himself. Instead he reaches over Renjun’s shoulder and pulls him over. Renjun becomes all too aware of their body heat and suddenly the chilly night air isn’t so chilly anymore.
“You’ll get that, Jjun.” Jeno says. “You’ll get that from someone who deserves you.”
Renjun can’t help but feel his stomach flutter. To avoid his feelings, Renjun tries to start walking, but Jeno follows along, not taking his arm from over Renjun’s shoulders. “You’re right, Jen. I guess I just want what Jaemin and Haechan have.”
“Jaem and Haech have something… uniquely theirs.” Jeno says. “I don’t think anyone should have what they have.”
“Minus the baby talk.” Renjun says looking up at Jeno.
“In that case. You’ll find it.” Jeno smiles, “But until then you’ve got to deal with unconditional love from your friends instead.
“I think I can live with that.” Renjun says quietly as the two enter the subway station.
The rest of the way home was almost bliss to Renjun. Just he and Jeno together, walking hip to hip. Renjun was almost disappointed when they had to say goodbye. He woke up the next day feeling empty. There was no reply from Mark, but that’s not why Renjun was feeling down. He missed Jeno despite having just seen him. He missed the closeness, the comfort.
As he’s thinking about Jeno, Renjun’s phone goes off. Renjun groans before checking it thinking it was Mark.
Did Chenji make it back safe?
It was Jeno and Renjun feels his heart soar. He can no longer deny it. He was love with his best friend. It scared Renjun to think about it and he needed advice, stat!
He ran out of his room to a chaotic train wreck of a scene in the living room.
Stuffed toys every where. The coffee table was littered with open Smiski boxes. Jisung was dangling off the couch and Chenle was just straight up sleeping face down on the floor. Renjun would scold them if he wasn’t in such a panic. He ran up to Chenle and shook him awake.
“Wha-huh?” He rolls over, drool running down his cheek.
“We need to talk,” Renjun whispers dragging the half awake Chenle to the balcony.
“We didn’t do anything illegal, I swear!” Chenle shouts once they’re outside.
“That’s not it!” Renjun replies. “At least I hope not.”
“A-ha. What did you want to talk about?” Chenle asks and Renjun puts a pin to ask him about the previous night later.
“I need help. I’m in love with Jeno.” Renjun wrings his hands together. Not sure why he’s so nervous about Chenle’s response.
“Finally!” Chenle shouts.
“What do you mean ‘finally’,” Renjun asks.
“You and Jeno have been making eyes at each other for as long as I could remember!” Chenle says exasperatedly. “I’ve been waiting for you to admit it!”
“Shut up that’s not true!” Renjun says, “I didn’t even like Jeno until like a minute ago!’
“Please! You blush whenever Jeno looks at you!” Chenle waits for a response but Renjun can only stand there with his mouth agape.
“Was it that obvious?” He asks.
“I thought you two were dating when I first met you.”
Renjun groans, putting his face in his hands. “What do I do?”
“You tell him that’s what you do.” Chenle says.
“What if he doesn’t like me back and I ruin years of friendship!”
“What if he does like you back and you get the relationship you’ve always wanted?” Chenle shoots back. Renjun can’t argue with that but he really, really wants to.
Just then, Renjun receives a message. Again, from Jeno.
Hey, I also wanted to ask. Did you want to get lunch later?
“There’s your chance!” Chenle shouts. Renjun glares at him for reading over his shoulder.
“Just do it! Everything will be fine, trust.”
Despite Renjun’s better judgement, he’s listening to Chenle. Renjun put extra care into his appearance for his confession. He styled his hair up, put on the nicest shirt he owned—a silk YSL top—black dress pants and a pair of loafers. He brushed his teeth at least three times to make sure his breath was fresh. There was no need for all of this. It was Jeno. The man who probably will pull up in his comfiest hoodie and jeans. But Renjun wanted to show that he was serious about his feelings.
When Renjun walks into the small restaurant, he scans the place and immediately locks eyes with Jeno in the corner. Renjun’s breath hitches in his throat. Jeno was wearing a nice, white button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up. When he puts his hands on the table to stand up, Renjun can see Jeno’s muscles tense. Standing, Renjun can see Jeno has a pair of pressed dress pants. His hair isn’t styled like last night but Renjun didn’t care, it suited him. It looks like Jeno put effort into his outfit but at the core it was still him.
“Another in person meeting?” Renjun teases trying to calm his nerves down. Jeno pulls out a seat for Renjun who readily takes it. It would be so much easier to confess if Jeno wasn’t so handsome and nice.
“No, just lunch with you,” Jeno responds shyly, “You look nice.”
“Thanks,” Now it’s Renjun’s turn to be shy. A moment of silence passes between the two of them before Renjun decides that it’s better if he just rips the bandaid off.
“Jeno, I—”
“Renjun—” Jeno starts as Renjun begins speaking. Renjun begins panicking. If he didn’t confess now, surely he would lose the courage to say it after.
“Let me go first, Jen.” Renjun says firmly. Jeno nods and Renjun notices that he begins fidgeting with his hands. “I’ll be quick!”
Renjun clears his throat.
“I just wanted to say that you’re my best friend. Well, you and Jisung because if I don’t say Jisung he’ll be sad about it. But you’re definitely my first and oldest best friend! And I love our relationship the way it is—”
Renjun could see Jeno slump.
“That being said, I just wanted to say… that…well…”
“For crying out loud, get it over with!” A voice shouted from a booth over.
“Chenle?” Jeno and Renjun call over. Caught, Chenle, Jisung, Jaemin, and Haechan make themselves known.
“Just pretend we’re not here.” Jaemin calls over.
“It was Chenle’s idea,” Haechan adds, “We just came to be crowd control.”
Jisung just smiles awkwardly.
Turning back to Jeno, Renjun tries to continue, “Um… where was I?”
“Jjun, I like our friendship too, but—” Jeno starts.
“That’s right!” Renjun cuts him off. He can’t let Jeno reject him before he can even get the words out. “I like our friendship and I’m worried to ruin it. Aside from family, you’ve been the only constant in my life—”
“Rude—” Chenle lets out before Jisung covers his mouth.
“—Aside from family, and Chenle, you’ve been the only constant in my life and to be frank, you’re kinda like my ideal man. That is to say, I love you, Lee Jeno.” Renjun quickly adds, “But you don’t have to like me back!”
Another moment of silence passes as Jeno looks at Renjun, wide-eyed.
“Well, at least say something,” Renjun begs.
“Renjun…” Jeno starts. He then reaches over to the chair next to him to pull out and place on the table a small bouquet of white gardenias. Renjun’s favorite flower. Renjun delicately lifts theboquet to his nose to smell. Jeno continues, “Do you know why I asked you for lunch?”
Renjun shakes his head.
“I asked you because I was planning to confess to you.” A barrage of giggles can be heard from the booth over but Jeno ignores them, “I never wanted to burden you with my feelings, Jjun, so I kept them to myself for years, but every time you started talking to other guys, my heart would hurt. It finally got to the point that I don’t want to spend my life seeing you happy with another man. And Jaemin said if I didn’t confess soon, he and Haechan would keep baby talking to me…”
“Baby, I’m so pwoud of you!” Jaemin called from the other booth. Renjun could see Jeno resisting the urge to groan.
With everything in the air now, Renjun and Jeno fell back into silence. Unsure what the next steps were. Do they order food? Is this a date now? Are they dating?
“I think this is the part where you two kiss or something.” Jisung suggests. Immediately, Renjun could see Jeno’s ears turn bright red. Renjun’s own face felt flush as he realized he’s going to have to make the first move. He got up from his chair, startling Jeno, and leaned over the table. His lips found Jeno’s, albeit clumsily, but Jeno welcomed him, deepening the kiss. It wasn’t a long kiss—they were in public after all—but it was filled with years of yearning finally coming to an end.
Renjun sat down, him and Jeno smiling at each other. Ready to start the next chapter of their lives. Together like always.