Chapter Text
Ann Perkins had a new girlfriend. Some woman named Shelby, apparently.
Shelby, stupid name. Stupid woman, if she was dumb enough to date Ann Perkins for three months.
April, admittedly, and very openly, hated Shelby. Not that she had met her, because she hadn’t. Ann made sure of that, steering Stupid Shelby well away from the entirety of the Parks Department for the length of their relationship, much to Leslie’s dismay (and not so much to April’s, although she did want a face to pair with her hatred. Maybe a photo for her dartboard, too).
Ann was probably right to keep her away. Between the department, Leslie’s over-enthusiasm, Tom’s badly-timed humour, and April’s apathetic snark would surely drive Shelby away, letting her break free of whatever evil witch spell Ann held her under.
Honestly, April had no idea what the mystery woman looked like. She could be fake, for all she knew, but if the long hairs on Ann's coat every now and again were anything to go off, either Shelby was a redhead, or Ann was a massive slut (which was never really out of the question either way).
Before April could take a real guess, Ann burst through the doors.
“Guys!” she said, voice filled with an unusual flustered-terrified combination that didn't quite suit her. “Shelby is coming to pick me up, and I need you all to be on your absolute best behaviour.” She turned to face April and Leslie. “You two, especially. Les, be normal, please. No special day added to the calendar, no gifts, which, yes, I know you already have. And don’t kill her with kindness. April, be anything but yourself. Be nice, maybe, I don't know. Just don't be… you. No, God,” Ann started to ramble. “Okay, that came out wrong. Be you, but less…” She gestured to April’s general person. “Just… Don’t kill her,” she murmured, before turning around and walking back out of the room.
“Be rude, call Ann a slut, make her feel completely unwelcome,” April listed off to no one, saluting the air in mock compliance. “Got it.” A ghost of a smile fell upon her face as she caught Andy’s eye.
A few minutes later, she walked in, all billowing, red hair, and sparkling hazel eyes. She looked like one of those Disney princess dolls that April’s parents used to buy her as a kid, girly and feminine, and put together.
“Hi, I'm Shelby,” she said, a bright smile plastered across her face as she flipped all of that shiny hair over her shoulder.
“Hey, Shelby,” Leslie grinned, waving at the redhead. It was clear that she had reigned her usual excitement in a bit, per Ann’s request.
“Shellder?” April deadpanned in response, eyes narrowed as she took in the older woman. She tilted her head as she studied her silently, eyebrow twitching up momentarily, before her face returned to an expression of neutrality.
“Like the Pokémon?” Andy chimed in with a grin.
“April, I take it?” Shelby asked, shooting a glance towards Ann.
“Ignore her,” Ann murmured with a laugh, wrapping her arm around Shelby's waist as she leaned into her. Too close, in April's opinion. Gross. “She’s just messing with you.”
“No, I'm not.”
April spent the rest of the time behind her desk, lips pursed in silent observation as Shelby mingled with her coworkers, hand on Ann the entire time. Leslie liked her, clearly, already wrapping her in a hug, then a second hug, threeway that time, with Ann squished between them.
Their eyes met as Ann pulled back, gaze locked on April for a moment too long. She cleared her throat, pressing a kiss to Shelby’s cheek as she held April’s eyes, and stepped closer. “Can I talk to you for a sec, April?”
Her hand wrapped around April’s arm as she dragged her towards the hallway just beyond the bullpen.
“Dude!” Ann hissed as soon as they were out of earshot. Her grip on April’s forearm bordered on painful as she glared at the younger woman. “What is your problem? You agreed to be nice!”
“I didn’t agree to anything, Ann, and if I did, that was before I met Squirtle,” she murmured, rolling her eyes as she attempted to shake herself free of Ann’s grasp. Ann relented easily, which, in April’s opinion, was a shame. “Plus, I said one word to her. And it wasn’t even rude, it was just a question.”
“Yeah, well, be nice, April. I mean it.” Her threats were mostly empty. The most she could muster towards the younger woman was vague coldness, and, even then, her desire to be friends with April, after all those years of trying, would likely win out, and put a premature end to her efforts. Nonetheless, she raised her eyebrows, and tried to look as threatening as possible.
“Scary,” April replied, folding her arms across her chest. “Or what?”
“I don’t know, okay? Just be nice. Be civil.”
“I don’t like her, why would I be nice?”
“You don’t even know her!”
“I don’t like her, Ann,” she repeated, eyebrows raised slightly.
“And she won’t like you if you keep being so–”
“Good, I don’t want her to like me,” April shrugged, cutting Ann off with something close to a smile, except her expression was laced with an almost cruel apathy. “Not everyone has your need to be liked, Ann. Have you considered that?”
With that, April stomped back to her desk, posture unnaturally straight, head held high as she narrowed her eyes at Shelby.
Ann rolled her eyes, digging a long finger against her temple as she returned to Shelby’s side. “Ready to leave?” she asked, voice a whisper as she faked a smile. Shelby offered a smile in return, equally as fake, and they left arm in arm.
“Skwovet seems boring,” April murmured, her eyes flicking up towards Andy as he grinned at her. He was such a kid, always amused by April’s antics, especially when they involved Pokémon, or Xbox, or anything along those lines.