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HUNTR/X was overdue for another hiatus. With Christmas fast approaching, Bobby and the three girls unanimously agreed to a 1-week vacation as part of their overall 1-month hiatus.
There was one place Zoey had been aching for ever since the Idol Awards disaster—Burbank. It was time to go see dad. Rumi, eager to start rebuilding their relationship, made plans to stay with Celine back on Jeju Island. And Mira—well, she still had her childhood friend from middle school. The one friend that slipped through the cracks—her cracks—and saw the real her. A real friend till forever, till the end.
On a gray afternoon on the 15th of December, Bobby waited by the elevator, opting to be Zoey’s chauffeur. When they said their last goodbyes to Rumi, she teleported to Jeju in a single burst of purple smoke. Zoey took the chance to pry into Mira one last time.
“What’cha gonna do with Minji?” Zoey skipped to the elevator with a suitcase in one hand and Mira walking by her empty side.
“Ice skating, dinner, dancing, y’know,” said Mira with an oddly monotonous tone. “Movies till 4 am, talking and catching up,” she forced a giggle. “I haven’t seen Minji since last Christmas,” she added with a probably genuine smile.
“Aw, sounds lovely! And fun!” Zoey said, smiling wide and bright. Upon reaching the elevator, she turned to be face-to-face with Mira. She’d take off in about 5 hours and be on the other side of the planet in about 17. They gave each other a long hug.
“Bye Mira!” Zoey squeaked, trying not to cry.
“Bye Zoey,” said Mira, her face tired and forlorn. She put on her characteristic gentle smirk just before the hug broke.
Mira, Zoey, and Bobby waved goodbye at each other until the doors completely shut. Mira was due in Minji’s house in about one hour. She preferred to drive herself; it was only 20 minutes away anyway.
So that was a lie.
Minji didn’t exist.
Actually, that was also a lie. There was a Choi Minji from Mira’s school days. She was just a classmate who never interacted with Mira; that’s why she picked her. It would reduce the chance of Rumi or Zoey discovering the truth if they tried to dig for Minji’s contact info.
No, this Christmas would be the same as every other Christmas since they rebuilt the Honmoon, since she joined HUNTR/X, since she left her home. Watching the clock, passing the time, all alone, somewhere, anywhere. This time it was the penthouse—just like the past four years.
As long as she was away from Rumi and Zoey, and as long as they didn’t know, she’d be happy. How paradoxically cruel of her—she tried to not think about it or what it implied.
So after Rumi teleported to Jeju, and after Mira managed to spot the car heading to the airport, she moved her suitcase back into her room to unpack later. Even though this was not the first time she secretly stayed in the tower over Christmas, with Rumi’s powers now out in the open, Mira had no idea if she would ever teleport back at any time and catch Mira red-handed. Or rather, empty-handed—no one to hug, no one to carry, nothing to share, to give or to feel, no one to love. She turned off all the lights in the penthouse and retreated into her bedroom. Sanctuary.
She limped to the side of her bed and dropped down on the crisp, neat sheets. They had left their beds stricter than usual so they had something nice to return to when the week ended and, for Mira of course, when the day ended. She cupped her chin in her hands and rested both elbows on her knees. The setting sun was peering through the glass already.
Deep breath. It would be just like last year. No pressure.
The full-glass wall was her favorite thing about this room—wide, glorious, almost freeing. The city lights were wondrous at night. She used to think that the bustling metropolis would make it hard to sleep. Her first night in the tower, when HUNTR/X was formed, she went to bed facing away from the wall-sized window. Five minutes later, it was all she would look at.
It was so captivating. So comforting. Inviting. Even beautiful. Mira couldn’t explain it. A big window—it was so stupid when she described it like that. A big “fuck you” to her family who said she wouldn’t make it—yeah, maybe that was it.
Despite all that, the next 168 hours would be a little more isolating and paranoia-inducing than usual, more so than previous Christmases. She knew Bobby—likely driving towards his all-expenses paid resort trip already—wasn’t a threat, but now Rumi was. No, not like that. Mira hated thinking of Rumi as a threat. She worked so hard to untrain those thoughts and just wanted to pull her in for a hug for the rest of eternity. Good thing she would get that chance in about 167 hours.
But if Rumi were to teleport back now, for whatever reason, Mira just hoped it didn’t happen while she was grabbing something from the kitchen or throwing out some trash. Those tasks would each take two minutes at the most. Probability-wise, the chances that Rumi actually encoun—
Ding.
Uh.
Someone was on the elevator.
Someone got off on this floor.
The penthouse floor.
Mira’s supposed sanctuary.
The adrenaline activated. Mira felt her heart pound in her head as she launched herself off the bed, raced around it, and sprinted to the light switch. In her panic, she realized she was practically stomping with each step. If whoever was on the elevator didn’t notice the light extinguishing from the crack under the door, they would probably notice the sound of running steps. She’d have to stuff the crack with a blanket or jacket so light and noise couldn’t escape next time. She froze, leaning against the door, afraid to even breathe too loud.
“...Mira?”
Zoey.
Shit.
“Is that you? What are you still doing here?”
Don’t open the door.
“I thought you left an hour ago.”
Do not open that door.
Zoey knocked. “Can I come in?”
DO NOT ANSWER the door.
“Mira, I know it’s you now.”
DO NOT ANSWER THAT FUCKING DOOR SHE WON’T UNDERSTAND DON’T DON’T DON’T DON’T—
Wait. Wait wait wait.
Mira tiptoed to the far end of her room and mustered up her normal voice.
“Oh, yeah, coming!”
She walked back to the door again then kept her hand on the handle for an entire minute before opening.
Zoey’s face was light and confused. Her eyes darted sideways to see inside the room. Her face morphed into suspicion before she looked back at Mira and resumed her prior expression.
“What’cha doing?”
“Uhhhh, what are you doing back here?”
“I wanted to pick up an extra toy for my little brother! Good thing Bobby insisted on going 5 hours early for whatever reason—I had time to come back. So… what are you doing?”
“Oh, I just forgot something too. I was… looking for it. My, uh, song book! Yeah, Minji… got into songwriting recently.”
“Oh, um, okay!” Zoey said with a strange twang to her voice. She slid to the side, keeping her gaze on Mira for way too long, before bolting inside into her own room.
Mira let out a sigh of relief. Then she sucked it back in—she actually had to leave now. No stalling, no faking, no waiting, or else her entire facade would crumble. With heavy lungs and a heart racing against time, she dug around some drawers for her actual song book and exited the bedroom. She met Zoey at the elevator, who carried a plush squid and chose not to ask Mira why she didn’t have her suitcase.
“Bye, again,” Mira said before giggling.
“Bye!” Zoey chirped before walking to the back door.
Mira sped-walked to the front door. She had about 15 seconds. She sprinted out and around the tower to the back area, then cowered behind some dumpsters. Through the gaps, she could see the back door. Zoey should be coming out any second.
A minute passed, and no sign of Zoey. The car was still there, too. Another minute.
Okay, weird. Whatever. Once she comes out, I can just sneak back in. Where the hell is she? I’ll wait here for 2 hours if I need to. She’ll come out eventually. Can’t risk getting—
“Boo!”
Mira sprung up and snapped her head around in response to Zoey’s jumpscare. She had her hands on her hips, a horrible smug grin to go along—and a phone to her ears. Her eyes stayed locked on Mira, who was wide-eyed and hunched as if she were about to be attacked.
“Rumi, I need you to come back real quick,” she said before hanging up and dragging the stunned Mira by the wrist.
Back in the penthouse, the first thing Rumi noticed was Zoey, clearly not at the airport. Then out of the corner of her eye she noticed Mira’s suitcase—which she last saw fully packed—laying in her room, half unpacked.
Zoey sat on the far side of the couch, facing Rumi in the center, while Mira sat at the other far side, head in her hands.
“What happened, Zoey?” Rumi asked.
“Well, I came back to grab something, and I find Mira, still in the tower! Then when I think she’s leaving, I find her hiding by the back dumpster, watching, waiting for me to leave!”
Mira was completely buried inside her knees at this point. She hated Zoey’s chipper, sarcastic tone so, so much.
Zoey ended with, “So, I’m staging an intervention.”
“Don’t you have a flight to catch?”
“It’s in 3 hours, and it’s a half-hour drive. I’ll be fine. Bobby won’t be, though. I mean, uh, nevermind.”
Mira had lifted her head out of her lap now. Rumi looked at each of them once before sitting down in the middle of the couch. About a meter of space separated each of them; the whole seating arrangement was bizarre. Mira wanted to point that out so they would laugh at that instead of stare at her.
Rumi turned to Zoey, who then turned away. How did she do that? Rumi turned back to Mira.
“Well, is that true? What’s going on?”
Mira’s stone-cold face, sharp and unreadable, glanced at Rumi to make eye contact for a split second. When their eyes departed, Mira felt hot shame boiling inside, running up her cheeks and her ears. She wanted to curl up and hide and die and cry. Yep, she was not lying her way out of this one. Besides, they promised many months ago—after hours of tears and talking—no more secrets.
“I just… didn’t have anywhere to go.”
Zoey looked back now, at Mira—much to her chagrin—and tilted her head a little.
“Aw, did Minji cancel?”
…
“Mira?”
Okay, maybe some secrets were okay.
“No, she didn’t.”
Rumi inched a little closer. “Oh?” She raised her eyebrows. “Then what’s the issue?” Rumi hoped she didn’t sound overbearing; Mira hated that.
Mira hated this—being the center of attention. If only she had blocked the door from the start, or turned off the light, or not been a pathetic loser.
“She—I can’t see her at all.”
Rumi and Zoey exchanged confused looks. “What, like, ever?” Zoey asked.
Some secrets were definitely okay.
“Nope. Never.”
“Why? What happened? You two got in a fight or something?” said Rumi.
Some secrets were totally, definitely, still okay and were exceptions to the promise.
“You wouldn’t understand,” Mira muttered.
“Well, can you let us try?” Zoey said with a soft voice.
You could keep just a few more secrets to yourself like this one and it would never ever matter and you should stop talking right now, like right fucking now before—
Mira shut her eyes and grimaced before dropping her head and making a heavy sigh. She looked up again, at Rumi and Zoey for a while, then at the floor, where the carpet ended and wood started. My goodness, the floor looked appealing. If she could only sink inside, where she would stay entombed forever. No worrying, no humiliation, no hiding, no… secrets. Tears welled up in Mira’s eyes as she remained transfixed by the most interesting wooden plank to ever exist. Her cheeks scrunched up by instinct, and her lips quivered. The corner of her vision became blurry—boom. It was pointless to hold back now.
She closed her eyes. It pushed a single teardrop out, and it fell to the ground. The penthouse had grown so silent, she heard the drop splat onto the carpet. She slammed her face into her hands, then almost immediately she felt Rumi embracing her from the side. Then, a second later, Zoey had run to the edge of the couch and leaned on Mira’s other side. Together they rocked her back-and-forth as the walls came crashing down, bringing a tearful torrent with them.
Rumi and Zoey looked at each other, a combination of shocked, confused, hurt, and sympathetic. They kept rocking her and rubbing her back, waiting for her to summon the strength to explain something. But when she did, they got no explanation.
“I’m sorry, Zoey,” she croaked. “Don’t miss your flight cause of me. Just go now.”
Zoey squatted down in front of her and held her face with both hands. “Hey. I have time. Time for you. Let me worry about the flight. I won’t miss it, but I also won’t leave you like this. Please, just tell us what’s going on.”
Once the sniffles cleared, her voice cut through the air like a bullet.
“There is no Minji.”
“I don’t have anyone to go to,” Mira elaborated upon realizing the silence.
“What, d-d-did she, did she die?” Rumi blurted out.
Zoey flinched a little at the directness and interjected, “Uh, you visited her last year. How was she doing?”
“No. Minji. Doesn’t. Exist,” Mira said through gritted teeth. “She never did! I—I stay by myself every single—” The crying resumed and re-escalated into full blown sobbing.
Rumi filled in the blanks and looked at Zoey, whose eyes widened at the revelation.
Mira regretted everything. What an awful way to reveal everything. Her mind raced with more hypotheticals: what if she had kept in touch with that one other friend, what if she had been a little more careful, what if she picked a different hiding spot, what if she just never joined HUNTR/X so this would never happen, what if she went to a motel instead… and damn those stupid lights.
After another round of comforting, Rumi asked, gentler this time, “You mean, all this time, all these years, you spent the winter season—”
“—alone, somewhere, anywhere, away from… everyone.” Mira had a blank stare out the penthouse window, her eyes red and puffy. “I don’t have—I’m just a dumb loner who lucked into meeting you guys.” The rocking stopped. “What?” Mira asked, turning to look at them for the first time in what felt like hours. She looked back down. “It’s true. Every holiday season reminds me of that.”
Rumi and Zoey thought about their next words. Mira thought they just wanted to get this day over with and go back to their real families.
“Well, they won’t remind you of that anymore!” Zoey said triumphantly. “This time, and for the rest of eternity, you’re staying with us!”
“Doesn’t it get, you know, lonesome?” Rumi’s voice dropped to a hush. Mira turned to face Rumi and didn’t notice Zoey’s look of indignation from Rumi derailing her decree.
Mira stuttered, afraid and ashamed to give the obvious and expected and true answer. “Of course it does, but… it’s nothing new.”
“Nothing new?! That makes it sound way worse, you know.”
A line of tears began streaming down Mira’s face again. “Yeah, you’re right.” At least the sobs were gone. She would implode from embarrassment otherwise; this was already the most vulnerable and naked she’d ever felt since the Idol Awards disaster. “I’m sorry, guys.” She tried to get up, but the other two pulled her back down; she just pretended it didn’t happen. “We’ll do something together next year. You’ve already made plans and just—just—just forget about—”
“And we’re making new plans!” Rumi declared. “Right, Zoey?” she asked a little too quickly.
Zoey hesitated for a second. “Uh—I’m so sorry, Mira, but I do really need to go now,” Zoey said, trying to hide the guilt in her voice. “I’ll call you as soon as possible.”
Zoey pressed a tiny kiss on Mira’s head and rushed back to the elevator while Rumi’s offer echoed through the penthouse: “Mira, you can come with me to Jeju. Hey, wait, you’ve never seen Celine when she’s completely turned off her business persona!”
At the doors, Zoey turned around for one last look. Rumi was still leaning on Mira, rubbing circles on her back. Zoey let out an hour-long breath at the sight, and her heart melted a little. She started drafting a new plan in her mind.
Mira felt both relieved and depressed that Zoey was leaving for real now. One less pair of eyes on her. Still, she wanted her to stay a little longer, despite not wanting to say it. She wanted Rumi to stay too. Here. With her. But no talking. So she asked, also claiming she wanted some peace and quiet to collect herself. She would explain right after, and lucky for her, Rumi agreed. How disgusting and selfish of Mira. Rumi already gave her a second chance—why should she get a third? And for doing the very thing she herself hated most?
Rumi was no stranger to shocking realizations at the worst possible time. She wondered if Mira was still a little hurt by Zoey leaving and just didn’t want to say it, but Mira explained that she just wanted quiet time alone, to gather her thoughts. Then she asked Rumi to stay. Alright, uh, Rumi decided to stay. They didn’t discuss anything more after Zoey left, and Rumi was happy to oblige. Vacation could wait a little longer. She was no stranger to that either.
When Rumi, still nestled between Mira’s shoulder and head, realized she fell asleep, Rumi first double- and triple-checked that Mira’s eyes were closed, then texted Celine about the situation. Mira jolted awake from her light slumber a few minutes later.
“Hey sleepyhead. Merry Christmas.”
“Wha—”
“Just kidding. It hasn’t been that long.”
Mira managed a small huff of amusement. After a moment’s consideration, Rumi decided to be blunt.
“Why did you never say anything?”
“I didn’t want to impose and derail your plans,” Mira said with a low, dejected voice. Rumi was surprised by the instant answer. “I also didn’t want you guys to think I was guilting you into staying with me. Because I wasn’t. I wouldn’t be.”
“But Mira, you’re our friend.”
“And you two have other friends and… family to go to. Best friends don’t have to be joined at the hip.”
“Yeah, but Mira—”
“I CAN HA—” She covered her mouth. “Sorry. Go ahead.”
“But Mira, friends don’t let each other spend the holidays alone. I’d spend 1000 more days with you 24/7, if it meant you didn’t have to be alone for 1 day. Especially after… you know.”
“We’d drive each other crazy,” Mira said with a genuine laugh.
“I don’t know about you, but I’d go crazy if I spent every single winter alone.”
Mira didn’t answer.
Alone. Who among them besides Mira would understand how it felt to be so utterly alone?
Oh.
Mira mentally cursed and berated herself.
“Hey, I meant what I said: why don’t you come along with me to Jeju? I’m sure Celine won’t mind. You’re still one of her girls. We got space, as you know. Plus, you’ve gotten to know the full me, the real me. Celine still has to catch up, so maybe, at the same time, you can get to know the real her?”
Mira was not used to seeing this side of Celine. Honestly, she was surprised that Celine would even drop the professional mask in her presence. Zoey couldn’t believe it either when she called Mira that night. The morning after, it hit her that this was actually happening—Celine trying to be a regular mother to Rumi. She tried not to laugh at their exceptionally awkward moments together. Turns out that tagging along with Rumi to Jeju wasn’t a mistake.
Eventually, things started to seem weird again. Mira withdrew; Rumi pursued. She insisted that it wasn’t more walls building up, and that was probably true. Rumi believed it—she had been the expert at that, after all. But this was meant to be Celine and Rumi’s time, and despite their insistence that Mira now join them, she couldn’t shake off the feeling that she was invading. She wasn’t entirely wrong, which meant: it was time to put Zoey’s plan into motion.
One bright and sunny afternoon after lunch, Rumi saw an opportunity for attack. Mira had offered to do the dishes this time, and Rumi found her standing at the counter, back turned, dishes finished. Rumi ran up behind Mira and trapped her in the tightest hug possible.
“Woah, oh my—okay, hey there,” Mira said, struggling for breath. “Are you that happy that I offered to—”
Some pink mist started emanating around them.
“What th—”
Poof.
Pinkish smoke replaced Mira’s entire vision and enveloped the two girls’ bodies. It dissipated, and Mira found herself in an unusual house.
“—uck?”
She noticed a fireplace in front of her and a huge TV above it. The lights were on, heater running, curtains closed, as if it were dark and cold outside. On a curtain-less window, through the gaps in the blinds, she saw that it was dark outside. The fireplace was bellowing and cracking, and at the top there were some pictures of random people and… Zoey?
“Hey Zoey!” Rumi yelled out at the top of her lungs. “Mission success!”
A head popped out of the hall next to the fireplace—an older man. Then another head—Zoey. Mira’s head flung over to see Zoey and the man, who she surmised must have been her dad. They fully emerged after that. Zoey, hands clasped in front of her, gave a small but bright grin. The old man’s smile reached his eyes.
Zoey winked. Mira took a step back and was frozen solid for some while, except for her eyes which jumped all over the room. After settling her gaze on them, and after taking in all the sudden changes, she just bowed. Once done, she turned around to check how she hadn’t bumped into Rumi.
Rumi was gone.