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The City of Townsville!
Where boys will be boys...
Three armed robbers bust out of one of Townsville's many banks hauling bags of cash, looking devious as ever. Opposing them is none other than the Powerpuff Girls, whose cocksure expressions simply scream that this will be a cinch.
And girls will be girls!
The girls make quick work of the criminals with their ultra-super strength and send them off to the slammer, much to the delight of Townsville's citizenry that shower them in praise for yet another job well done.
Besides manhandling the common criminal, in a single day these three girls have managed to massacre Mojo, pummel Princess, grapple with the Gangreen Gang, and infuriate Fuzzy! Why, in this day they even managed to humble... Him.
His Infernal Majesty sat seething in his nonsensical dimension of a lair split into several distinct landmasses, watching on a television set as his nemeses succeed and soak up the glory while assorted antiquated footage fills the endless void this realm exists in. Blossom speaks to an interviewer on TV, head held high in pride. "We were just glad to be of service." She congratulates the others. "Good job, girls!" This line really lit HIM's fuse. He snapped a claw in the vein of gums flapping, venom in his effeminate voice as he mocked the swell-headed leader. "wE wErE jUsT gLaD tO bE oF sErVicE~! gOoD jOb gIRls~!" HIM shot up out of his seat with an aura of fire flaring around him. "Blast the Powerpuff Brats! They disgust me!" Satan Claws stepped over to the side of his central landmass one stiletto at a time, looking to the omnipresent black and white reels in the background. Several screens of footage featuring the girls' past battles popped up and slid by, HIM looking over each one glaring daggers. "It's as if they're unbeatable... Allll those years and alllll those times, other villains have produced nothing! There must be a way." Mused the devil, turning and bringing a closed pincer to his goatee tip. "There must be someone who can knock those brats down to size." A sigh of resignation escapes, anger abating as the sinister one's slender form flops onto the chair. "Ohh, boy..." With the exclamation of his adversaries' opposite sex, an idea twists and turns within that twisted mind. Expression looking the part. On one of those many screens, a clip of the girls getting beat down by figures in their likeness so happens to pass by. This ignites an idea within that insidious mind.
"Oh, boy~..."
Another day, another monster on the loose! In downtown Townsville, a cyclopean kaiju with spiked balls for hands let out a vicious roar and unleashed a shower of sharpness at the toughest fighter. Buttercup landed on a building's side, outspeeding the spikes that left explosions in their wake, then halted to take them head on. Smoke and fire obscured the small girl's form, but she emerged unharmed- flying at the monster and slugging it straight in the eye with enough force to send it flying onto its rear, unconscious. A multi eyed monster and massive crab stomped down the streets, only to be knocked off their feet in one fell swoop by a streak of pink. Bubbles meanwhile found herself tangoing with twins. Two monsters with legs like a bird, heads like a Lumpkin and trunks like an elephant. They mortared the blue puff with explosive snotrockets from their schnozzes which she evaded easily and zipped past the pair, stopping to dramatically outstretch her arms and clap both mitts together. Unleashing a mighty shockwave in her signature color that sent them into the pile of three other monsters fell by the sisters.
"It's not every day we gotta deal with a whole group-a bad guys." Buttercup remarked, peering over at the pile. "Yes it is, it happened yesterday!" Bubbles floated over and cheerfully corrected, earning visible ire from her sister. "I knew that!"
A violent tremor then shook the city, spelling an end to the banter. The girls couldn't feel it given their tendency to always float, but they could certainly see and hear it. "Be ready for anything, girls." Blossom cautioned, the trio now formed up with their leader in front. Before them formed a fissure in the ground, and rising up from the bowels of heck itself was a volcanic rock formation akin to a podium. Upon it were three small silhouettes with round heads and lacking both fingers and toes, whose identities quickly became known as the smoke cleared. They were none other than...
"The Rowdyruff Boys?!"
Declared the Powerpuff Girls in unison and utter shock. "But it can't be..." Blossom began. "We kil-" Buttercup could barely get a word in edgewise before Bubbles jumped out in front and conveniently cut her sister off. "Kissed you!" The tomboy stepped forward and resumed talking. "Yeah, and then you blew up!"
"Yeah?" Brick, the Rowdyruff leader, rose a brow. Arms folded across his chest. "Well ya can't stop a good thing, babe." An ear to ear evil grin spread across his face. Since their defeat, the Rowdyruff Boys had taken on a new look. While they still sported the same colors, more masculine shades of their respective Puff's, their hair was less toddler and more teenage. Butch had swapped out his bowlcut for short spikey hair, Brick now had a wild mane of red hair, and Boomer... didn't look that much different.
But the reappearance of their fiercest foes, equals in strength if not superior to, didn't phase the Powerpuffs. They all broke out into snickers that transformed into full blown giggles as they remembered how easily the boys could be beaten. "What's so funny? What're you sissies laughin' at?!" Brick barked.
"Oooh, look who's back with big mean hairdos~!" Blossom waggled her hips tauntingly, wearing an expression screaming smug. "Oh, whatever shall we do?" Bubbles leaned back and feigned fainting. "How are we ever gonna beat their scary new hair?"
Butch was repeatedly bending his knees to curb eagerness, itching to go at a moment's notice. His voice made it ever more apparent; quick and highly caffenated. "Mean? Heheh, we'll show ya mean!"
"Yeah, and we'll show ya scary!" Boomer joined in. In a boldly colored rainbow, the boys barreled towards the girls and initiated the quarrel with headbutts to the bellies at breakneck speed from those horrifying new hairdos mocked moments ago. It caught the girls off guard, but they were more than able to adapt and even the odds.
In the sky, Buttercup threw a jab at her counterpart, followed by another and then a roundhouse- all of which missed no thanks to Butch's twitchy movements that made him tricky to hit. Boomer was fried by a blast of heat vision from Bubbles and looked none too happy about it. "You wanna fight like a chicken? Then I'll make you into one!" He declared in his dopey voice, retaliating with eye rays of his own which weren't heat vision but meat vision! Bubbles nearly dodged, but a ray grazed her left pigtail and made it into a piping hot drumstick, much to her horror. Boomer recklessly flew straight at it with a gaping maw and trail of drool, to be met with a shoe to the stomach so mighty that it reactivated the meat vision and reverted the pigtail to what it previously was. Blossom and Brick meanwhile were engaged in a battle of the breaths; ice vs fire. Each party seeming to have the upper hand at different points but ultimately ending in a draw at the center culminating in an explosion of the elements. The Powerpuffs took this lull in tussling to take a time out to team up and prepare their plain as day master plan.
"Alright girls... we know what we have to do." Blossom smirked knowingly at her sisters in a huddle. "It's time to give 'em some sugar!" Bubbles chimed. "Bleh, I'd prefer spice to bein' all nice." Disgust was evident in that final word. Buttercup wasn't looking forward to this, but she knew what had to be done. With that the puffs split up and flew back into the fray... and play nice they did. Punch nor kick was thrown by the three puffs, each one simply evaded whatever roughhousing the ruffs wrought and closed in to give a kiss on the cheek. Blossom to Brick, Bubbles to Boomer, and Buttercup to Butch. But something wasn't adding up. Not only were the boys not blown to bits from the kiss like last time, they even got larger from it.
"What gives! Why aren't they blowing up?" Asked Bubbles to Blossom, arms shooting to the sky. "I don't know..." Replied the redhead, mitt to her chin in thought. "Maybe we didn't kiss hard enough. Let's give 'em another dose!" Came the command followed by flashes of light. While lips to flesh failed to fall their foes, this time the girls tried something a little different. Something they had only seen from smitten adults sitting together in the park.
They locked lips with their respective Rowdyruff, and held it for a good couple seconds at that. The kissers couldn't believe they were doing this, and frankly neither could the kissees if bewildered bug eyes were anything to go by. The puffs backed up and waited for their rivals to combust into slugs, snails and puppy dog tails like before. "Good work girls, that oughta do..." Blossom, as well as her sisters, noticed themselves becoming shrouded by shadow. Concern crossed their faces, namely on the one in pink priding her sisters for a job well done. Boy oh boy were those boys becoming big. As big as those monsters they mashed earlier even! "It..." Those three meanies towered over our heroes wearing menacing sharp grins, overflowing with power.
"It's not fair!!" Came the outburst from Buttercup. "Who the heck brought these bozos back and made 'em immune to cooties?!" On cue with the invocation of the netherworld's name, the environment shifted to a hue of red and an air of unsettlement swept across the scene. In a pink spiral of smoke, His Infernal Majesty arrives. "Why, I did of course~!"
"I should've known it was you behind this, Him!" Blossom pointed accusatorily at evil's avatar. "Oh, I barely did anything at all apart from reviving them~!" HIM handwaved his own handiwork in a tongue in cheek manner. "Well, I did give them new haircuts and a little... vaccination."
"What kind of vaccination." Blossom bluntly questioned, eyes narrowed. "Just a simple spell that goes a little something like circle, circle, dot, dot. Now you have a cootie shot~!" A closed claw mimed the motions with each word. HIM then floats up and gestures to his several stories high sons. "And as you can see, now your little cootie kisses don't make my boys explode... they make them expand!" Pride gives way to humility, or at least feigned humility. "Ah, but forgive me for intruding on your playdate. I'll see myself off now~! Have fun girls, and good luck with your little boy troubles! Or should I say, big boy troubles!" Falsetto laughter rings out as HIM swirls his slender body into a pink spiral of clouds and returns to the accursed realm he came from. The environment reverts to normal, but for the Powerpuff Girls the situation remains abnormal.
Being the leader and wishing to upkeep morale, Blossom didn't allow herself to be discouraged by the tide turning against them. "Don't panic, just remember. The bigger they are the harder they fall!" Confidence returns to her features, hand raised inspirationally in a know-it-all manner. "Attack Pattern Alpha Omega Atari!" Such a strategy was reserved solely to scout impenetrable massive monsters for weak points. The three girls feigned a flight path forward, then partway through Blossom and Buttercup broke off in arcs to the left and right to split attention. It was better built for one adversary than three...
The girls individually zig-zagged up, down and all around several skyscrapers, creating labyrinthine lines of light throughout the immediate city area. "What do those puny little pipsqueaks think they're doing? if you're gonna fight, stop dancin' like flies and bite like mosquitos!" Brick turns his annoyance on his brothers and berates them for their idleness, shoving elbows into both. "And don't just stand there you lamebrains, light 'em up!" Butch and Boomer fire continuous beams of heat rays from their massive eyes, wreaking destruction but missing their marks by continuous centimeters. The girls close in on the boys and ascend their towering forms. As Buttercup flies up Boomer, Butch sees an opportunity arise. "Heheh, I got it! I got it!" He throws a punch at the pint-sized puff and although it connects, it was a two for one deal... and not the best kind of deal. "Ow, watch where you're punching, stupid!" Boomer pointed at his hyperactive brother. "Who're you callin' stupid, stupid! I got her, see!" Butch gestures at the battered Buttercup out cold and making landfall. For just one punch to do in the toughest fighter like that meant the boys didn't just get bigger from those smooches, they got stronger too.
"Buttercup!" Bubbles cried out, bearing witness but halting mid-flight, leaving her a sitting duck, or should we say fly, to be swatted out of the sky. One swipe from Brick did her in, sending her violently crashing to the asphalt. "Bubbles!" Blossom made the same blunder by halting and she too was smacked. All three girls now lay defeated in a crater together just like before, their towering adversaries overlooking them. "Let's crush 'em." Brick suggested with a sinister smirk, his brothers on board with the idea. He rose his foot, ready to deal the finishing blow when suddenly...
A white automobile whizzed down the streets of Townsville as fast as it could, carrying a concerned father driving straight into the face of danger. He was out doing errands and en route back home when he heard reports from the radio of his little angels having fallen that sure enough were true. The car screeched to a halt and out came Professor Utonium, rushing to see his daughters. "Girls! Oh no, girls!" In an act of confusion rather than mercy, Brick drew his foot back as the man knelt next to the Powerpuff Girls who were in quite the sorry state; weakened and singed. "P-Professor...?" Blossom, struggling to open her eyes, looked to the blurry figure of her father figure. This confirmed to him that they were thankfully still alive. "Oh, thank goodness you're okay! I have to get you in the car quick!"
"Who's this chump?" Boomer questioned as the Professor scooped up the sisters and scurried to his car. "Whoever he is, he's askin' to be flat like a pancake!" Butch was darn near ready to do the deed, but was stopped by being slapped in the face stooge style by Brick. "Let 'em go!" Confused, the smacked spikey haired one turned to the leader for elaboration. "We'll let those wussy kitties lick their wounds. What are they gonna be able to do to us, huh?" Boomer was in agreement, what with how strong they were now, and elaborated in an idiotic manner. "And when those girls come back we'll eat 'em up, spit 'em out, then eat 'em again!" This awarded him only awkward stares from his two other brothers.
Back at the Utonium residence, the Powerpuff Girls were safe and sound at home, and all healed up thanks to Professor being a professional in science. But they weren't about to head right back into action, instead they opted to talk it over with their father first. Nobody knew boys like a boy all grown up. The family of four was seated together on the couch, and the girls had just wrapped up recapping their initial and some of their current encounter with the Rowdyruff Boys.
"So what should we do, Professor?" Asked Bubbles, looking up at him with bubbly eyes. "Our kisses didn't do squat!" Pouted Buttercup. "And they even made them stronger..." Finished Blossom with her head hung in disappointment. Professor's eyes turned to the side in thought. "I see... so it looks like these little boys aren't so little after all."
"No duh! You saw just how big they were!" Exclaimed Buttercup, which brought about a chuckle from the man. "I don't mean like that, Buttercup. You see... there comes a time when all kids outgrow the cooties. And not just that, they even embrace it." That statement rang quite true for the girls. They outgrew the cooties, and if they didn't Townsville would still be under Mojo's thumb since he was handed victory after victory from exploiting that fear through their kissy classmate Harry Pitt. "Hmm... what's something boys don't outgrow?" Blossom asked in hopes to find an alternative Achilles' heel.
"Well..." Began the Professor. "I know quite a lot of them hate having their manhood insulted. It was like that with my old college roommate!" An aptly named fellow fought before that exhibited traits of toxic masculinity not unlike the trio being taken on today. "Ooh, like putting pretty makeup on them?" Bubbles asked innocently. "Or giving atomic wedgies?" Buttercup enthusiastically interjected with a jab to thin air. Once again the Professor let out a light laugh at the innocence of his girls. "Yes, I suppose those are good examples."
Cogs turned within Blossom's noggin, a quirk of a brow and a grin on her face indicative of a plan to knock those titanic tyrants down to size. "Thanks Professor, we know exactly what to try now!" As streaks of light, the little ladies burst through the roof and soared out of the suburbs to the bustling burg under siege. Professor didn't mind the property damage one bit, he looked up at the holes and wiped a tear from his eye with an endearing smile. Thinking about how his children have already conquered the cooties so soon in life.
"They grow up so fast..."
With its saviors nowhere in sight, Townsville had become a playground for the powerful punks standing stories tall. Currently they were engaging in a little game their leader liked to call Rollerbrawl. Townies ran in terror as the Rowdyruffs slid through the streets with cars on their feet as makeshift skates and wielding girders bent at the end for hockey sticks. Their ball was none other than the mirror ball taken atop the building housing the Townsville Tribune. "AND THE BLUDGEONER SHOOTS..." Brick rears back his stick, then slams the ball towards the entrance of an indoor parking lot. Unfortunately, its too big to fit inside and becomes lodged in the exterior. "AND HE SCOOO- wait, hold the phone! Whose bright idea was it to use a ball that won't even fit into the goal?!" Boomer, positioned alongside Brick tells the truth- which wasn't exactly what his brother wanted to hear. "Uh... it was you." The redhead growls and points a nub at the numbskull. "Yeah? Well I say it was you!" The blue and blonde furrowed both brows and placed both hands on his hips. "Just 'cause I'm the dumb one doesn't mean I'm always doing the dumb stuff!"
"Are too!" Brick leans in. "Am not!" Boomer matches his motion.
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Ahem." A soft clear of the throat spelled an end to the obnoxious bickering between the boys. They turned around to see their nemeses, the Powerpuff Girls, fully healed and what looked like ready to fight again. "Well, well. Look what the cat dragged in!" Brick flashed an evil face. "You girls back for another butt whoopin'?" Butch followed up.
"Actually..." Blossom gracefully floated towards Brick's giant face with eyes shut. "I'd like to compliment you on your hair. It's very pretty, almost as pretty as mine!" She gave her red hair a feminine flip. "Huh...?" The red Ruff looked weirded out by that curveball of a compliment, and unbeknownst to him had shrunken a little. His brothers burst out laughing at his expense, only increasing the shrinkage. "Hey, cut it out! That's not funny!"
"Whoa, did you see that?" Buttercup gawked at the transformation taking place. Blossom noticed too and pointed it out to make it plain as day. "Yeah. Whenever their masculinity is threatened, they shrink in size!" The idea inspired by their little talk with the Professor had worked, and now it was time to keep it going. "Aww, and just look at what an adorable wittle baby boy you are!" Blossom reapproached her shrunken rival to demean his smaller self, pinching his cheek. Now Brick was even smaller than his standard size!
Bubbles swooped by a nearby billboard painter and picked up his paintcans and brush. "Sorry!" She squeaked out, then flew over to Boomer with brush and bucket in tow. "And you, are in need of a cute makeover!" She went to work on his face, giving him big red lips and blush, and braiding his hair into pigtails. The little girl giggled at Boomer, and so too did his brother Butch. But from behind the final full-sized ruff came Buttercup, spotting a strip of white peeking just above black pants. She grabbed hold and pulled, stretching tighty whities to slip over his spiky head. Not only did Buttercup laugh, so too did all her sisters and all Butch's brothers! That brought him down in size. "Aww, they really are cute all small like that! What a cute little guy, I bet he can't even hurt a fly!" Buttercup patted the wedgied baby-sized Butch on his head, which he responded with a flurry of punches and kicks that only tickled and proved the mockery right.
The boys were now infant sized, and it made the emasculating all too easy. It was only a matter of time before they were almost the size of ants and just as weak. The tables have turned, and the sisters puff oppressively positioned themselves over the pipsqueaks. "Whaddya say we give 'em a taste of their own medicine?" Buttercup suggested, but before any of them could follow through the sky once again turned a telltale red, signaling the second coming of... Him. The overlord of all things evil was outraged, and shot his head forth to scold his small sons who were surely scared out of their wits. "Can't you little brats do anything right?!" The clawed one calms for the moment and stands up tall. "I give you life, I give you power, but if it isn't one weakness it's another! I'd let the girls stomp you where you stand buut I'm feeling unusually generous today so you'll be spared~!" HIM scoops up the boys in a soft pinch and addresses their adversaries. "And as for you girls, don't be so sure of yourselves. While I'm not one for repeat performances, with a few more bugs to iron out the boys will surely beat you~. So watch your backs. Because the boys are back in town!" In a smoky spiral of pink, the pretty yet handsome devil dives into his domain. After that whole exchange, all a weary-looking Blossom has to exclaim is...
"Oh, boy..."
Oh boy is right... While another battle of the sexes has been won, the war has yet to be.
So once again, the day is saved! Thanks to... The Powerpuff Girls!