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Michael Wheeler sat on the highest bleacher. Knees bouncing, as he kept on biting on his nails. Eyes sharp yet mellow, scrutinising every movement in the gym.
The gym glowed like a false memory.
Gold streamers dragged across the ceiling. Paper stars trembled in the vibration of the bass. Someone had switched the lights to a warmer hue to make Hawkins High look like it had always been meant for happy endings.
Everyone had started fitting in their happy endings, except for this guy who kept on measuring each movement.
Eddie Munson; the boy who wasn't supposed to live stood proudly in his Hellfire t-shirt and Dustin Henderson stood beside him browsing through the remixes. Vecna had disappeared and Max was awake again. She swayed at her own pace with Lucas in the middle of the gym. Their heads adorned with the prom king and queen crowns. A David Bowie song blasted the speaker. Everybody else jumped around them, matching the beats.
Robin and Steve had again found a way to be employed, as they served the kids with punch and some snacks that Steve had fought with the authorities, to make. Nancy stood in a dark corner of the gym. Jonathan sticking to her side, but not too close. They spoke, but it wasn't the same, after Nancy had called off the wedding. She had said that they were too young to get married and she wanted to drive up to the northside of Indiana, to find a job there.
And then the girl who was the center of his world all these years and now suddenly she had disappeared into the abyss. It was all because of him. El was no longer his. El was free from his delicately threaded lies. She danced with Kali at the center of the floor, smiling wide, eyes wet but steady. She looked beautiful. She always had.
Mike wondered, distantly, if she hated him yet.
He wondered if she ever would. He scoffed and looked away.
The lavender peony smelled too sweet for the evening. He tore the flower from his coat and dropped it on the bleachers, the petals shying under the weights of his fingers.
His eyes found the familiar eyes of the thin boy. He had underbags and a purplish tint in their inner corners. The boy tried looking into Mike's eyes, trying to find an answer. But Mike knew Will would always find the truth. He looked away and stood up, waiting to leave.
The crowd barely noticed him leave.
Only one pair of eyes followed.
He rushed out, the door banging behind him. The corridor grew colder, as the sound of the rain pelting down, grew louder. Michael pulled his lapels closer to his body. He didn't quite understand what made him shiver. Was it the way he found himself guilty or was it the cold, he wondered.
The music dulled into a distant heartbeat. Emergency exit signs glow faint red as he shoves the door open and steps into the night. Rain greets him instantly.
It isn’t soft. It isn’t kind. It falls in sharp needles, slick against pavement already glazed with reflected streetlights. The schoolyard is empty. Wet. Exposed.
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Will saw him. Will saw Michael, waiting on the bleachers. He didn't know what he was waiting for. He had caught his eyes, but Mike had cowered.
Will excused himself from the crowd. He felt the need to follow Mike. He had to follow him. Leaving him alone felt too harsh. He felt he would vanish if he didn't hold him tonight.
He had seen Eleven's eyes. The eyes that begged him not to follow Mike, for her sake. But somewhere in his heart, Will knew El could handle herself, but not Mike. He had pleaded with her with his eyes. She sighed, leaving his hand and looked away.
Will had then rushed out and now he stood beside his best friend. The best friend who looked pale and sick. He looked close at every twitch on Mike's face.
Mike turned to look down into his eyes and gave him a dull smile; a slight tilt in the corner of his lip.
A soft click and the umbrella opened. Mike walked out. Will looked at him, a soft tug in his heart. A sudden urge and Will had run into the rain and stood under the umbrella.
They both walked down the pavement. The mud clinging on to the ends of their slacks like old mistakes. Their hot breaths coming out as puffs of white smoke. They head towards Mike's home.
Will occasionally checked Mike's face, and then finally said, “Why would you do it?”
“I don't know. It felt right.”
Will shook his head.
“Was the only way I could find to tell her half the truth, after all these years of lies.” Mike whispered.
“Didn't you NOT wanna lose her a few years back? Weren't you head over heels for her? You said you loved her? Why would you hurt her Michael?” Will snapped back.
“I loved her but it didn't feel right. It never fit into my picture.” The words felt like a ghost on Mike's lips.
“Mike I literally saw her eyes lose the spark in her eyes. She looked dead for the past four days. I heard her cry every night. Where are you getting these ideas from? When did you stop loving her? What was wrong with her? She is the best person to exist. I lost my fucking sister for you. I fucking lost her. I fucking see her sleep with tear streaked cheeks and your letter held tight in her hands. She reads it over and over again, just to find a reason. But The Great Mike Wheeler forgot to give one.” Will scoffed, halting. His voice, loud in the roaring rain.
Their backs facing the ice prickly water as they stood face to face.
A brother who wanted answers for his sister and a best friend who didn't have the answer.
“You don't get to make everything about you, Will. You don't get to.” Mike whispered. He was too tired to answer. Will pushed his shoulder, a sudden vile raising up his throat.
“What's wrong with you Mike Wheeler? Did she bore you? When did you turn into this? From, when did you start lying? I can see it in your eyes Mike, you still love her. I saw the way you looked at her. I saw how you cowered when you met my eyes. I know you Michael. Michael, go back to her, she misses you. She needs you.” Will's voice closing up and cracking with each word.
Something snapped in Mike. Something changed in his eyes and the words hurled out of him.
“You fucking know nothing Will. You fucking know nothing. You always make everything about yourself Will. You are blind, you are avoidant –”
“I am, avoidant? Shouldn't you be calling yourself that? When El got a good life, free from all the nightmares of upside down and everything, you fucking ran away. You fucking ran away from the role of being her boyfriend Mike.”
“She isn't you, Will. She is Eleven. She isn't the one I am in love with. It is you. It has always been you, since the day I sat beside you on that swing. It was always you. I always fucking ran away from you. I ran away from myself. And now when I am standing before you, waiting for you to take me in. Waiting for you to hold me, so that I do not run away again, you are asking me to go back to your sister.”
Tears rolled down Mike’s cheek.
“I am tired, Will. I am too tired to run anymore.”
Will's eyes widened. He never thought Mike would look at him that way. He had always tried to push away those feelings, for the sake of his sister. But now Mike stood before him, asking him to hold him.
He walks up to him, standing chest to chest with the first person who befriended him. The first person he brought to his D&D empire. The only person who he asked for, when he was being pulled into the upside down.
Mike looked into his eyes, as Will cupped his cheek. Will caressed his cheek, wiping the tear. Mike nuzzles into the warmth of his palm. Their hot breaths fanned each other's lips. The bodies soaked in the icy water. Hair plastered on their foreheads.
Mike leaned in. His breath ghosted Will's lip. Will had closed his eyes, waiting for Mike's lips to touch his. But it never came.
He opened his eyes. Mike's eyes had a foreign terror. He pushed Will away and turned away. He walked down the road and turned the curb. He didn't look back once. He left Will hanging on the torn thread.
Will looked ahead into the night. The water made the white button down transparent as it clung to his chest. A bitter pain spread through his ribs.
He was the reason.
He was the reason, neither Mike nor Eleven got their happy endings. He hated El. He hated her for everything that went wrong when she came. He hated her for taking away his best friend. He hated her for being the reason he was pulled into the hell hole. But he hated himself more. He always hated himself for the way he had the wrong feelings for Mike. He hated himself for hurting El. He hated himself for being such a burden for them.
He felt hollow. His head hurt. He wanted to cry. He wanted to howl, but he couldn't. He didn't have any strength left in him.
He walked back the path they had come. He had to go back to the gym. Mom would be waiting for him there after 9. He looked at his clock. It had stopped working after getting wet in the rain, the same way his life had stopped, the day he had come back from his coma. He was stuck. He was frozen in time.
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Mike had gone into his basement. His clothes clung to his body like a ghost. He shimmied off his wet jacket and sunk into his bean bag, letting it get wet under him.
He didn't know what had happened at that moment. How things had escalated. How he confessed in the heat of the moment. How he got disgusted after that.
He didn't get disgusted because of Will. He could never. He loved Will. He always loved him. He was disgusted with how he lied to both of them. He was disgusted at how much of a coward he was.
He scoffed looking at the table where the D&D figurines were left splayed. A rolled canvas poked out its head from under the maps. It looked slightly torn at the edges.
He stood up and pulled it out.
Will's drawing. The one he had given Mike when they were in that van, back from California. The three headed monster and their group, fighting it. Will his Cleric and Mike, Will's Paladin.
Will had turned away after giving it to Mike. Mike had seen the way his body had shook when he cried. Mike had the urge to pull him in. To whisper sweet things into his hair. But wouldn't that be cheating? Wouldn't he lie to El, if he did that? El would hate Will. Mike never wanted that. He didn't want it then, he didn't want it now.
But then somewhere in his heart. He wanted to hug Will. He wanted to whisper in his ears, how much he loved him. He wanted to kiss his hair, his cheek and every tear away. He wanted to tell him how much he wanted to wake up every morning beside him, how he would take care of him, when he would black out and how he wanted them to grow old together.
It always scared him. Everything about Will scared him. He was always scared to lose both of them. He wanted El as his friend. He wanted Will as his best friend and lover.
The first time Will disappeared, it scared him. He had cried into his mother's arms. He wanted to save him from anywhere he could. He needed his best friend. Last week when Will blacked out, he thought he would lose him. He didn't want to lose him. It would break him to see the person he loved the most die before his eyes. It was the only thing that mattered right now. Mike didn't want to lose his best friend. He didn't want him to die without knowing how much Mike wanted him. He always wanted to protect him.
That was it. Paladin would rescue his Cleric. He always would.
Mike ran all his way to the place where he had last left Will. Will wasn't there anymore. Mike saw him walk away. He felt Will pull his body through the rain. He ran to catch up with him.
Will stopped walking. He touched the back of his neck. Feeling a slight goosebump, just like the old times. Felt the presence before he saw it.
Then—
“Will.”
Mike stood barefoot in the rain, shoes in his hands, hair flat against his forehead, breathing like he had outrun regret itself.
For a second, neither of them moved.
Then Mike crossed the space between them and stood before him, looking anywhere but Will's eyes.
“I am sorry. I shouldn't have crossed the boundary.” Will moved back a bit. He bit his lips, hands balled into a fist. Mike closed the distance between them. He tilted Will's chin up and crashed his lips into his.
Will baffled for a second, didn't react, but then melted into Mike's touch. His body slumped onto Mike's body. Mike let him and pulled him close.
Mike's chapped lips fit into Will's plump lips, perfectly. They broke the kiss for a breath.
Will looked up, Mike smiled at him and held him to his chest.
They held each other like survivors. Mike breathed into Will's hair. A soft citrus smell filled his nose. Will nuzzled into Mike's neck.
“I am sorry. I was scared of myself. I was disgusted about how I lied to you.” Mike whispered into his hair.
Will looked up and kissed the corner of his lips.
Mike kissed him, again. This time, slow like a promise. Like all the words they wanted to say but couldn't. All the unsaid apologies. All the unsaid confessions, summed up in a kiss.
“I was scared El would hate you. I never wanted that. I could never hurt either of you. But then I was scared to lose you. I was scared that you wouldn't know how much you mean to me, if I lost you someday.”
Mike rested his chin on Will's head.
Will hummed. “I love you too Michael Wheeler. I always did. It hurt when I saw you with Eleven, but I was scared to lose my sister. I was scared that you would hate me if you ever knew how forbidden my feelings were for you. I am sorry Mike. I love you.”
Will cupped Michael’s cheeks. He kissed his eyes, his forehead, his nose. Mike giggled, making Will giggle. He cupped his cheek, squishing his cheeks.
“I love you too, Will Byers.”
The rain gathered around their feet like the world holding its breath.
It was the end for them. It was time for them to stop running. It was time for them to stay, to live.