Work Text:
Well, I won’t ever unsee this.
Alfred had just wrapped up a visit with his ‘folks.’ He’s called Arthur and Francis that for so long, he never really thought about how weirdly true that could become.
Thirty seconds into his walk back to his hotel, he realized he was missing his vape. He turned on his heel to retrieve it. He considered himself lucky he didn’t have to knock– the door was still unlocked and he stepped right into the Crime Scene.
“Yo, I forgot my–”
Alfred stopped in his tracks. His luck had run out. He stared, as Francis pinned Arthur to the couch, half stripped of his clothes. Arthur was in no better position, caged between Francis’s forearms, already completely naked.
Then there it was. The Juul. Alfred’s last cupcake-flavored cartridge in it, no less, now ruined, as it lay betwixt the crossroads of Hell. It was wedged, between two seat cushions and the cushions of his own brother’s cheeks.
Alfred closed the doors and called his therapist.
-
Some time later, Alfred was invited again to their place. When he entered, the seating was arranged more in a circle.
“The hell is this, an intervention?” Alfred asked, “Better be for the two of you…”
Arthur and Francis looked at each other. Francis spoke first, “We wanted to talk about what you saw the other night.”
“No, I know what I saw… God, does Matthieu know?”
“We called him, too. He, eh, already knows about us.”
“Hopefully he’s been spared the details.”
“Alfred, we can explain,” Arthur started, “You see, when… when two people love each other very much, sometimes they express that love physically.”
Alfred blinked. Arthur was digging his own grave.
“I don’t need you to give me the ‘talk,’ I’m centuries old,” Alfred said.
“That may be, but you are still my little brother,” Arthur said, “These are things I think you need to be reminded of. I know you are close with your ‘friend,’ Kiku. And I see the eyes you give Ivan.”
Alfred flushed.
“I don’t think that is any of your business, bro.”
“Look,” France said, “We want to make this right. What can we do to fix this?”
“I– I don’t know. I’ll think about it. I’ll catch you later, this is getting weird.”
When Alfred stepped out, he double checked for his Juul this time. He took a deep rip and texted his other brother.
Al: You knew about France an the Brit?
Al: And*
Mat: ?
Mat: Oh, yea
Al: You didnt tell me???
Mat: It’s been obvious, bud
Mat: What, did you not knock or something?
Al: …
Mat: LMAOO
–
Days later, Arthur and Francis received a letter from Alfred. Inside was the most obnoxious card purchased from Hallmark. In glitter lettering it read “BEE Who You Are For Your PRIDE!” (bee-related puns were illustrated in equally glittered bees). From the card fell and invoice the following:
- Behavioral Health Appointment– 1 hr
- Juul Pen
- Juul Cartridge (Cupcake Crashout)
On the bottom it read, “Ready to pay now? Scan QR to start!”
Francis found the letter first. His phone was close enough to the letter to activate the tap to pay option unwarranted. The payment went through and he sighed, folding the contents back into the envelope.
“Arthur, we really need to talk to Al about his healthcare.”