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Laura hoped that if she slammed the door hard enough, she could leave the frigid January air outside. But as she toed off her boots, she knew that she couldn’t. Nothing except a hot shower and a fresh change of clothes would chase away the chill in her bones.
The sensation of her bare feet on the hardwood floor stubbornly reminded her of cold white tile floors. Curling up in the corner but never quite getting warm. Clothes that were always too thin and never covered enough skin.
She looked at the ridiculous woman next to her, hopping on one foot while she tried to get her shoe off and smiled, and a familiar warmth started pooling in her stomach.
“I’ll grab you a change of clothes then you can shower in the bathroom down the hall.”
Jubilee’s answering smile was like sunlight, in the way it always was.
“Thanks! I’d say that I won’t use up all the hot water but I’m making no promises. I think I’m gonna need about 30 showers to get all this alien goop off of me.” She stopped hopping as she spoke, standing still with one foot still in her hands. Not unlike a flamingo.
She was right though, Laura looked down at herself and had to fight back a gag. God, fighting aliens was always so gross.
Leaving Jubilee to lose her fight with her shoes, Laura quickly grabbed an extra sleep shirt and some sweatpants. She also grabbed a pair of those fuzzy socks that Gabby was always buying. It was cold after all.
By the time she made it back into the hallway, she could already hear the shower. She paused in front of the bathroom door. Was she supposed to leave the clothes outside the door? Or put them inside the bathroom? 9 years since she escaped the lab and she was still confused by social conventions daily.
Very hesitantly, Laura knocked on the door and called, “I have your clothes.” She winced at how unsure her words sounded. She forced herself to take a deep breath. Everything was fine. She was safe at home with a close friend. No reason to be so nervous. God, why was she so nervous.
The sound of Jubilee’s distinct voice under the rushing sound of the shower coaxed her out of her thoughts, “Sweet! If you could just leave them on the counter that would be great. Thanks, Laura!”
Jubilee sounded calm, and her heartrate was steady, and she smelled- no that was invasive. According to Logan, listening to a friend's heart rate was fair game but smelling them crossed a line. And anyway the point was that Jubilee was calm, so there was no reason for Laura not to be.
Steeling herself far more than she should have to, Laura opened the bathroom door and shyly walked in. Determinedly not thinking about the fact that Jubilee was right there behind the curtain, she set the pile of clothes next to the sink and quickly retreated, closing the door behind her harder than she meant to. Probably just the steam from the shower getting to her head or something.
Her own shower was short. As it always was. Gabby was always telling her that shower-time was for selfcare and that she should take time and pamper herself. But Laura had no idea what that meant. What could she possibly do in the shower that would make it longer than max, 7 minutes? And anyway, she liked to be efficient. She had practically mastered the 5 minute shower.
Though her shower had been as hot as she could stand it, practically boiling, Laura was shivering by the time she was putting her pajamas on. One of those nights, then.
She stretched her arms above her head as she walked into the kitchen, her own pair of fuzzy socks feebly protecting her feet from the cold, checkered tile. Her back popped and she made a mental note to do one of those yoga videos that Cessily had recommended.
She could still hear the shower running as she surveyed their options for dinner. Laura, tired and frankly astounded by the lack of food in her own kitchen, opened the freezer and raised her voice so Jubilee could hear her, “Is a tv dinner okay?”
There was a pause, then an enthusiastic answer, “Sounds good!”
Laura popped the little trays in the oven, then stood aimlessly in the kitchen. She couldn’t stop shivering, and despite the fact that she was basically covered head to toe, she couldn’t chase away the thought that she would never be warm again.
Pointedly ignoring the memories infiltrating her exhausted mind, Laura grabbed a hoodie off the couch and paced, arms wrapped protectively around herself, while she waited for either their food to be done or Jubilee to be out of the shower.
She didn’t have to wait very long. Jubilee walked into the living room and flopped inelegantly onto the couch, throwing an exhausted sigh at Laura in the adjoining room in lieu of a greeting.
Laura walked around the island separating the two rooms and stopped in front of the couch, smirking at the way Jubilee was sprawled across it. She was somehow covering the whole thing.
“Feel better?” She nudged Jubilee’s leg with her foot, trying to make her voice sound normal.
The other woman slowly came to a sitting position, hiding her face in her hands and grunting affirmatively. When Jubilee finally dragged her gaze up to meet Laura’s, her eyes were tired and her wet hair was sticking up in every direction. Very cute.
When she realized the direction her thoughts were going in, Laura went stiff and felt her cheeks warm and awkwardly turned and walked back into the kitchen. She ran a hand through her own wet hair and nervously tapped her foot as she stood in front of the oven and waited for the timer to go off.
She really had to get a hold of herself. Of these… feelings. It scared her, the way that Jubilee made her lose control. The way she made her smile too big, laugh too hard, talk too loud. Laura liked to consider herself a pretty composed person, but something about Jubilee just made her let her guard down.
Soft, sleepy footsteps followed Laura into the kitchen and soon the quiet clinking of the fridge opening and two beers being opened joined her. Laura instinctively held out a hand, used to this little routine by now, and shivered as her hand wrapped around the cold bottle.
She took a long sip of her beer and looked down at the label. It was one of those German beers she had bought for Kurt the last time he and Logan came over. Not her favorite but definitely not the worst. She took another sip and determinedly ignored the endearing way Jubilee was humming to herself.
Jubilee hopped up on the counter in front of her, and Laura set her beer down next to her leg and began carding cold fingers through her own long, damp hair. She neatly sectioned and started braiding it, muscle memory doing all the work that her mind was too tired to do.
When she got to the end of the braid, Laura opened her mouth to ask for a hair tie, but before she could even get the words out, Jubilee was already pushing one into her hand. Soft fingertips gently brushed the palm of her hand, sending fireworks up her spine.
Laura jerked her hand away abruptly and tied off her braid, “Thanks” she flashed a brief, likely strained smile.
“No prob.” Jubilee smiled, leaning back into cabinets behind her and taking a long sip from her beer.
Her grin was electrifying, and something about it made Laura suddenly self-conscious about the stained and well-worn pajamas she was wearing.
It was then that she was reminded that Jubilee was wearing her clothes. The Dazzler crop top she had loaned her was draped casually across Jubilee’s shoulders, paired with grey sweatpants riding low on her hips. Laura purposefully avoided looking at the stretches of fair skin that were exposed on her stomach and collarbone. She took another long sip from her quickly warming beer, and let the dull taste distract her from the scent of her own shampoo coming from the woman across from her.
Jubilee’s head lolled back drowsily, hitting the cabinet behind her with a dull thud, “When’s dinner ready?” She asked through a yawn.
Laura sniffed the air and realized that she had spent a few too many minutes in her own head, “Now,” She carefully took the tv dinners out of the oven and brought them out to the living room, setting them on the coffee table, “Hey Jubes, can you bring our drinks?”
“Sure thing, Sunshine,” Laura is so caught off guard by the petname, she doesn’t realize that the other woman has returned until a warm hand taps her left hip and she’s suddenly enveloped by her scent, “behind you.”
Sitting down as far away from Jubilee as she could, Laura tucked herself against the arm of the couch and curled around her meal, waiting for it to cool and determinedly ignoring the other woman by flipping through Netflix.
“What do you want to watch?”
Jubilee shrugged and melted deeper into the couch, “Mean Girls again?” she suggested before taking a bite of too-hot mashed potatoes and huffing around it.
Humming agreeably, Laura nodded and turned on the movie. She took a few bites of her food and bounced her knee, hoping the movement could chase away the chill that was creeping in once again.
It didn’t. And before long she was shivering again. She abruptly set her plate on the coffee table and dug her fingers into the thick fabric covering her arms, willing her muscles to still and her mind to quiet.
Jubilee glanced over at Laura and smirked, mistaking her discomfort for her typical social awkwardness and stretched out her legs, nudging her foot, “You good?”
“Yes,” Laura replied too quickly. The white walls of her apartment suddenly looked too familiar and she couldn’t think about anything else. She scratched the back of her hand and focused all her willpower on caring about Cady Heron.
Jubilee looked Laura up and down appraisingly, probably noticing the bags under her eyes, the slight tremor in her hands, and the way that every muscle in her body was tensed. She tilted her head and looked genuinely concerned, “Laura?” she nudged her foot again.
Laura replied without looking at her, “I’m fine. Really.” She tucked her chin into her hoodie and repetitively ran her fingers over the smooth length of her braid. Comforting enough, hopefully sufficient for Laura to act normal for long enough to finish the movie and excuse herself to bed.
But of course it wasn’t. Just to do something with her hands, she undid her braid. Then rebraided it. Unbraid and rebraid. Unbraid and rebraid. Eventually she sat back in a huff, dark hair splayed wildly behind her on the couch. Her hands ached too much to keep braiding.
Sometimes, on bad nights like these, when she was cold and couldn’t get warm no matter what she did, the chill made its way down to her bones. She could feel her claws. Frigid, cruel metal itching under her skin. On the worst nights, she would break. Crying and shaking, she would scratch and claw into her skin, desperately doing anything to stop the bitter cold bleeding into her muscles.
Laura shook herself out of her thoughts. This wasn’t one of those nights. This was just a regular bad night. Average and normal. She could deal with this. This was fine.
But despite her best efforts, her thoughts were overtaken by memories. Feelings. Ice running through her veins. Blood running down her arms, oozing from fresh wounds she was too young to understand. Unfamiliar hands tight around her wrists, tugging her down winding hallways, towards new and horrible punishments. The isolation. Hours, days, without seeing another person. And when she finally did, it was just more torture, more training, eventually more missions. Cold. Just so cold.
A burning sensation in her hand made Laura look down and realize that she had scratched the skin off the back of her hand. Not deep enough to bleed but almost there. She watched the skin heal over and sighed. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Very slowly, almost in the way someone would move so as not to spook a wild animal, Laura shifted across the couch. It took her approximately 43 seconds to cross the distance. She carefully laid down and nuzzled under Jubilee's arm, so that her head was pillowed in the other woman’s lap and the rest of her body was curled up against her.
“What’s happening?” Jubilee’s voice sounded playful enough but her body tensed, a stiff right hand hovering hesitantly above Laura’s side.
“I’m cold,” she shrugged, hopefully indifferently.
Jubilee snorted and wrapped her arm securely around Laura’s waist, relaxing back into the couch and focusing on the movie again. Laura, taking her lead, practically melted into her, gratefully basking in her warmth.
Suddenly the memories were just memories again. Far away, unable to hurt her. Nothing could touch her now. Cradled in Jubilee’s lap. The whole world could end and Laura wouldn’t care. All that mattered was the soft legs pillowing her head and the hand resting on her stomach. The simple melody of Jubilee’s heartbeat, harmonizing with her own.
“Are you having one of your bad nights?”
Nodding hesitantly, Laura saw no point in lying. Jubilee knew her better than anyone else, she had never been able to hide anything from her. Even back when they first met in Paris, Jubilee had understood her right away, in a way that no one else had.
Jubilee hummed in thought above her, fingers tapping out a beat across Laura’s ribcage, “You have that thing about smells right?”
“Thing about smells?”
“Yeah, you like them. Or like they comfort you or something.”
Nodding again, Laura chose her words carefully. She was very aware of the fact that her enhanced senses made people uncomfortable, “Having a familiar scent to focus on can help me… regulate, yes.”
Very abruptly and bluntly Jubilee sat up and asked, “Do you like how I smell?”
Pausing, Laura had to take a breath before answering and unintentionally enveloped herself further in the other woman’s scent. What was she supposed to say? Yes, of course. Whenever I’m around you, the only thing I can focus on is you. When I’m freaking out, I deliberately focus on you? I single out your heartbeat. The rush of blood through your veins. Your delicate breaths. Your scent. Yes, I like how you smell. I can’t stop thinking about you, can’t get you out of my head. You’re my favorite scent. I wish I could stay here, sheltered in you forever.
“...yes.” Laura curled further into herself.
Quietly saying hold on, Jubilee stood up, leaving Laura alone and shivering on the couch. The chill crept back in quickly and Laura felt her muscles tensing again.
But Jubilee returned almost immediately, armed with a goofy smile and a big fluffy blanket that she probably stole from Laura’s bedroom.
Flopping down next to Laura again, Jubilee wrapped an arm around her and maneuvered them, leaning back so Laura was almost entirely on top of the other woman, their legs tangled together. She draped the blanket over them, tucking it securely around both their bodies.
Jubilee gently pulled Laura's shoulders down until her face was nestled in the juncture of her shoulder, nose pressed against the long column of her neck. The last bits of tension left Laura’s body and she allowed herself to be draped across Jubilee.
Her exhaustion quickly catching up with her, Laura didn’t have the energy to think about the fact that she was probably crushing Jubilee. She just burrowed in further, breathing in the other woman’s comforting scent. Laura wrapped her arms tightly around her and Jubilee's own hands rested lightly on Laura's back, languidely drawing shapes into her shoulderblades.
“Better?”
Laura nodded sleepily and burrowed further into Jubilee, cheek resting against her neck, “Better.”
Eventually Jubilee's hands drifted up and buried themselves in Laura’s hair, intermittently switching between gently detangling and scratching her scalp. Laura let out a sigh of contentment and tried to burrow somehow deeper into Jubilee under her.
Distantly, Laura became aware of a low rumbling sound. But it was hard to care, with Jubilee’s hands in her hair. Her thoughts felt gooey and seemed to slip between her fingers as she tried to grasp them.
“Ohmigod are you purring right now?”
Laura’s thoughts caught up to her very suddenly and she realized that the distant rumbling sound was in fact her own voice, purring.
Starting to panic, Laura propped herself up on her forearms to put some distance between them and hopefully regain control of her mouth, but not too much control, Jubilee’s hands were still buried in her hair. Her whole body tensed and she could feel her face burning as she stuttered out excuses. Her nose gently brushed Jubilee’s as she scrambled for an explanation.
“It's fine. Relax,” laughing, Jubilee swung an arm around Laura’s shoulders and manhandled her (in a way that she should definitely not be able to) until they’re cuddling again, “Actually it's more than fine. It’s cute.”
Well if her brain wasn’t working before, it certainly wasn’t working now. Against her better judgement, Laura could feel herself relaxing again, turning to putty under Jubilee’s gentle touch. She hid her blazing cheeks in the other woman’s neck and soon fell asleep, lulled by both Jubilee’s running commentary of the movie and her heart beat.