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I’m leaving.” Harry said that the only light in the room came from the fireplace, as McGonagall had given them the prefects' room upon their request. “Just… for a while. I need to do it, I can’t even think about being in England without my skin crawling.” His fingers running along her naked thighs, a small shiver escaping her. It was merely a day after the war had ended, and they had picked up where they had put things off. Turning to face him, Hermione’s brown eyes met his bright green ones. Merlin, it was easy to get lost in those eyes.
“Where will you go?” It’s the only thing she can think of in the moment, because they need to talk- they need to have this conversation even though all she really wants to do is climb him like a tree again- her face turns scarlet at the thought, and Harry just smirked. Of course,se he noticed; he always did lately… ever since the tent.
“I don’t know. Just not here. But I’ll come back, I have a life here.”
Hermione nodded, “That you do, Mr. Potter.” Their lips met, a gentle, tender kiss that held a promise not just of a life teased, but of all the things they couldn’t say and all the things they weren’t ready to tell each other. “We'd better make the most of tonight, then,” Hermione murmured.
“I couldn’t agree more,” Harry said quietly.
-----
“Ron’s angry at me.” Hermione said, her fingers digging into the fabric of her robes, “He thinks I owe him where Harry is.” She scoffed, “As if I would know.” It’d been a week since Harry left, her heart ached something fierce, but she was… so bloody proud of him. “I don’t know if I’d tell him either. I think he knows.”
“Do you think that’s all he’s angry about?”
This was Hermione’s first visit to a mindheale, and logically she knew that this was the right choice for herself, but emotionally she wanted to run away. To seal herself off until Harry came back… But he was healing in his own way, and she owed it to not just him but herself to do the same. To become someone she was proud to look in the mirror and see, to be someone worthy of his love again.
“I think he fancied me. But he made it clear in his sixth year that I was a last resort.”
“Why do you say that?”
Hermione exhaled, “Can we come back to that? I don’t know if I’m ready to… talk about everything with Ron or Harry.” It should be easy, but there was something raw about it. “I love Ron, he’s one of my best friends, but I just wish we could go back.”
“Back to what?” The mind healer asked patiently, “How does Harry fit into all this?”
That seemed like an easier question. “Back to before Ron thought he had feelings for me.” The young woman answered and hesitated, “Harry… Harry’s always chosen me. He’s the only one in my life that ever has, you know? Even in the third year, when we were fighting, I could tell he didn’t want to.”
“Tell me about the third year.”
Hermione explained everything: the Firebolt, her own insecurities, Crookshanks and Scabbers, and how Harry had been trying to mediate the peace before Hagrid had to step in. It felt… refreshing to be able to just talk. To talk to someone who hadn’t been a part of it and just get it off her chest. Of course, she could tell all of this to Harry, but he had been there, and his own guilt complex meant he would try to shoulder it all, and that’s the last thing she wanted to do.
“Our hour is up.” Her mind healer said, “But I’d like you to come back in two days. I think focusing on your third year is a good place to start. It sounds like an important year in your relationship with both of them.”
Hermione nodded. “Thank you.”
When she got home, an envelope was waiting for her. No return address, nothing on it except her name. Opening I,t Hermione can feel her hands shaking. Is this from him? Her heart skips a beat, and she slides it out to see a beautiful photo of what looks like Japan.
‘Japan. Not sure how long- H’ Was scrawled on the back of the letter, and she smiled.
He was healing.
----
‘I’m still here. Happy Birthday- Hr’ The piece of paper felt like both too much and not enough, but it was July 30th, tomorrow was his birthday- his 18th birthday, and she wanted to remind him. Even if he knew… even if he didn’t need to, she would remind him. Her hand shook with the urge to write something else, to tell him everything, but if she did that… He’d come running back, and that would defeat the purpose of his leaving, wouldn’t it?
Hermione sealed the envelope and sent it with the owl Harry had given her before he’d left. It was only after the owl left that the tears fell, and she left the hurt in her heart overwhelm her.
She takes a shaky breath, it’s time for another mind healer visit- and this one she can’t put off anymore. “Sometimes I wish Harry didn’t have this effect on me,” she said quietly.
”He must be exceptional then if he has.”
All Hermione does is nod. The words won’t come even if she wanted them to. Part of her already knew what the healer was going to ask before they did“. , Him leaving, do you believe he chose you then, too?'
It hurts, being asked that- Hermione can’t even really explain why, but it does. “He did,” Hermione says quickly, surprised by the fierce protectiveness in her voice. “I told him we both needed to heal how we needed. He wanted to leave England, but I couldn't, not really. That wasn’t my path.” But Merlin, she wanted it to be, “And I couldn’t ask him to stay.”
The mind healer nods. “That's important, recognizing that, you know.”
“I thought so, too… I just hadn’t, I hadn’t counted on this.”
“On what?”
Hermione twiddled her thumbs, looking up at her mindhealer with a bittersweet smile. “I’m pregnant.”
“Does that change how you feel about him leaving?”
“No… No. I’m proud of him. I’m so bloody proud of him.” Hermione could feel her vision blurring with tears, “But I also want him here so badly it hurts.”
“Does he know?”
“No.”
The healer looked surprised at that, “Why not?”
Hermione can’t bring herself to talk; the words feel stuck in her throat even as she tries to say them. “Because he’d just come running back. He’s a noble git like that.” The tears are coming now, and she wants to blame them on hormones, but it’s so much more than that. It’s the ache, the longing, the pride in Harry in finally choosing to do what's best for him for once. “Because we can’t build our life together until we both heal.”
When she gets home, there’s another picture, this time it’s a photo of the Empire State Building. ‘America. 3 months’ is scrawled on the back, and it eases the ache, at least for a little bit.
------
“Hermione, we’re out of sugar!” Came the voice of her roommate from the other room. Hermione huffed. Ginny Weasley was both the best and worst roommate one could ask for. When the bushy-haired witch had announced her pregnancy to the burrow, George and Ginny had been supportive, while Ron had merely grunted and stormed out, followed by Molly Weasley.
It had hurt not to have Molly (the closest thing she had to a mother now) seemingly disown her, but she had learned from the mindhealer not to overreact. She’d get to the bottom of it later. Ginny had then declared she was not going back to Hogwarts, and instead would be moving in to help Hermione with the baby.
“At least until Harry gets his head out of his bum and comes back for his girl.” The redhead had drawled. It had been morifying, but Hermione was secretly grateful for her loyalty…. So now they both shared a flat in England. McGonagall had allowed them to study for their N.E.W.T. from home, so the witches spent their time preparing for the baby and studying for exams. Hermione had gotten a job at Flourish and Blotts for the time being, and Ginny sold Quidditch stories to the Prophet to keep the bills paid.
It wasn’t much, but it was fulfilling.
An owl landed on her windowsill, and Hermione smiled wistfully. “Hermione, I need to make some tea, and we’re out of sugar!” Came Ginny’s voice from downstairs. The young witch rolled her eyes.
“I’ll be there in a minute., Hermione called back. She opened the letter to a picture of the Eiffel Tower. With familiar handwriting on the back. ‘France. Three months.’
It didn’t hurt anymore. But the longing was still there- but that was okay, he would come back, and they would finally build the life they deserved together.
-----
“Where’s Harry?”
Hermione jumped, her wand in her hand on instinct, the other cradling the twenty-week bump she was sporting, and her eyes widened as she realized it was Ron. “I am not having this discussion with you, Ronald.” She hadn’t seen him since her announcement to the burrow.
“I wanna know where my best friend is! It’s not fair for you two to shut me out!”
Hermione closed her eyes, trying to remember the exercises that her mind healer had taught. “No one’s shutting you out. We’re just… healing. In our own ways, you need to let Harry heal the way he’s chosen.”
Ron scoffe. “Right. Went and knocked you up and then left, didn’t he?” The redhead sneered. “He’s not comin-”
Hermione cut off whatever he was about to say with a loud smack, her hand colliding with his cheek as her anger ignited. “Ho- How DARE YOU?”
“I thought you loved me, and what, you choose him instead? I thought we were going to be” His shoulder slumped, “I thought you chose me.”
Before either of them could respond to Ron’s confession, Ginny Weasley was bursting out the door, “What the bloody hell is going on here?”
Ignoring her passionate roommate, Hermione put her wand away and made a sound of disapproval. “You never chose me, Ron. You just thought you did. I chose someone who chose me first. Go home, and until you’re ready to be friends, don’t come back.”
Silence filled the space between them before Ginny broke it with her patented Bat-Bogey Hex, sending Ron scurrying back to the safety of the burrow.
A problem for a later day.
-----
“It doesn’t hurt so much anymore,” Hermione said.
“What doesn’t?”
“Being away from Harry. At first it was like… a part of me was missing.” Hermione said quietly, “And I miss him fiercely.” She let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding, “But he’s healing in ways that I could have never imagined. I’m doing the same. We wouldn’t have been able to do that together.”
“Does that bother you?”
Hermione knew what this was; the mind healer was testing her- seeing how much she had really recovered. “It did,” she confessed, “But no. No, it doesn’t.”
Some might say he abandoned you." The healer continued, “What changed?”
Hermione shrugged, "They're free to say that, but I know if I wrote him a letter, asking him to come back, he'd make the portkey." A wistful smile crept onto her expression. “I realized that a partnership isn’t about doing everything together. It’s building each other up, right now, this is what Harry needs from me, and what I need from him.
------
It’s been a year since her last healer meeting, and Hermione honestly couldn’t ask for a better life. She and Ginny were closer than ever, although Ginny would often spend time at Neville’s house, Hermione couldn’t begrudge her time with her boyfriend.
“You should go out, at least have some fun.” Ginny had said once, “I’m worried about you, being all cooped up in here with a toddler.”
“I don’t need to go out and have fun. I’ve already settled down.” Hermione pointed out gently. She could tell the redhead had wanted to say something, but had refrained. “But thank you. I couldn’t have done… any of this without you.”
The redhead’s expression softened, “You’re my best friend, Hermione.” As if that’s all the explanation needed.
It was true, Hermione and Ron hadn’t spoken since that day when she’d slapped him. He’d not attempt reconciliation, and Hermione was done chasing her friend and begging to be chosen. She had a baby, a family that had to come first.
There was just one thing missing.
Hermione’s thoughts were cut off by the sound of a wailing seven-month-old. “You miss Daddy too, don’t you?” she hummed. She hadn’t been lying when she said she had every faith in Harry coming back, that this life they were building together to complete it, but she was starting to feel a little impatient.
Cordelia Lily Potter had come into the world in mid-February, and every time Hermione started to feel those doubts creeping into the back of her mind, she’d see her daughter, and everything would fall back into place. “He’ll be home when he’s ready.” The young witch cooed, smiling softly. She looked up as an envelope floated its way through the mail slot. With a wave of her hand, she summoned it and opened it.
It was a picture of her flat, turning it over, there was his familiar handwriting scrawled with ‘forever – H.’
Harry’s expression when she came out with a seven-month-old Toddler on her was priceless. They met at the foot of the stairs to her flat, and his lips were on hers immediately. Bushy-haired witch made a small noise of contentment escaping her. They didn’t need to say anything in this moment- there would be time for talking later, for now they would relish in each other’s presence; they had both healed independently, and now it was time to build the life they deserved.
------
Their first Christmas Eve together is at the burrow- Harry had told Mrs. Weasley they needed Christmas to themselves as a family, and she had agreed, so they were having a small dinner together. “I’ll be right back,” Harry murmured, kissing her temple before disappearing into the sea of redheads. Cordelia made a sound from her stroller, and Hermione knelt to look at her daughter with a beaming smile.
A few minutes later, Ron came over, looking guilty, with Harry next to him. “I’m sorry- I, I got my head all screwed on wrong, y’know? I was drowning in Fred’s death, and I took it out on you…” The redhead took a deep breath, “It doesn’t excuse anything, but George has been making me go to a mindhealer, and I’ve been seeing Luna.”
Hermione nodded, waiting for him to continue.
“And I realized that I need you in my life, both of you. So… I’m sorry.” Ron slid his hands into the pockets of his robes, “And I hope that we can all be friends again, you two are my best friends, and I don’t wanna lose that.”
Hermione smiled, reaching up and placing a hand on her friend’s shoulder. “We all have to heal in our own way, I learned that the hard way.” she said quietly, “Of course I forgive you, you prat. You’re our best friend and… “ She paused, glancing over at Harry, who nodded, “Our Daughter’s Godfather, if you want.”
Eyes widened, ng Ron nodded, “O-of course!” he glanced over at Harry, You-youu want me?”
Harry laughed, his hand resting atop Hermione’s on the other man’s shoulder, “There’s no one else I’d rather ask… You’re our best mate.”
Shortly after that, Ron and Harry went off to talk; Hermione wouldn’t begrudge them some reconnecting time, she needed to get off her feet. Pushing Cordelia over to a chair, she sat down and looked up just in time to see Ginny Weasley standing there, looking anxious.
“I have a question,” Ginny said, summoning a chair and sitting down next to her. The youngest Weasley had taken over the flat they’d once shared after Harry and Hermione had found their own place. They’d decided not to live in Grimmauld, as it held too many memories for both of them, and instead found a nice flat that would support the three of them for now.
“Is everything okay?”
Ginny snorted, “I could ask the same about you.”
Hermione grinned, “Harry’s applying for the Defense post at Hogwarts, and I’m applying for Transfiguration. I had wanted to go into the ministry but… It doesn’t feel as important anymore. I have other priorities now.” She smiled wistfully, “Especially…”
Ginny’s eyes narrowed, “You’re pregnant.”
Hermione rolled her eyes, “I haven't even told Harry, how did you know?”
The youngest Weasley rolled her eyes, “I lived with you during your first one. I can tell.” Her expression softened, “He’s going to be so happy.”
“I know.”
The two women stared at each other for a minute before finally Ginny cleared her throat, “How- how did you know?”
“Know what?”
“About Harry.”
Oh. Hermione hummed in thought, her brown eyes searching the room until she found Ron and Harry sitting in the corner, laughing and talking. He looked so unburdened, the sight of it made her heart skip a beat, and she shrugged. “It was simple,” she said finally, turning back to her friend and smiling. “I decided to live the life I deserve.”