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On top of the clock tower, she sits, surrounded by her friends . . . yet she feels so alone.
After Xehanort had been defeated, everyone seemed to be finding their place again, and everything felt as though it was naturally aligning where it was supposed to be.
Everyone and everything except for Xion.
Sora had vanished after saving Kairi, and while Kairi rested on the Destiny Islands, Riku stayed close - waiting for word from Yen Sid on how they might begin the search for Sora.
The ones who were lost returned to where they once were; naturally, Naminé’s place was at the Land of Departure with Terra, Aqua, Ventus, and his new spirit companion, Chirithy, being that it was once the place of her birth.
And, of course, Xion has always had Axel - well, he’s Lea now, but he said she and Roxas could still call him Axel - and Roxas. But Axel went back to his original home world of Radiant Garden with Saïx, who also lets her and Roxas call him by his Nobody alias. And though she spends most of her time in Twilight Town with Roxas and is not alone, she still feels as though she doesn’t belong.
Roxas tends to hang with Hayner, Pence, and Olette a lot; so, she does, too. It’s not that she is jealous of their close friendship with Roxas. It’s not that she doesn’t like the trio, either - she is friends with them, and they’re so nice to her.
No, not at all. She cherishes every evening she spends with them, as well as Axel and Saïx, on top of the clock tower, eating sea-salt ice cream and talking amongst themselves. But it has felt like this is Roxas’s place, rather than hers.
What can she do about these difficult feelings in her heart? Who was the one she went to before when she did not know what to do?
It was Riku. The last time this had occurred, she had him by her side for guidance and companionship.
“How will I know where I belong, truly? I’m not sure I can promise you I’ll come up with the right answer.”
“Well, the answer you come up with can’t just be right for you. It has to be one that works for everybody - you and your friends, and everyone else.”
His answer then cannot be applied now, but during the many nights she stayed with him in Hollow Bastion after she had left the Organization, Xion felt as though she could belong there with him - but at the time, she belonged elsewhere: with Roxas and Axel, but most importantly, Sora.
But with both Sora and Kairi gone, Riku focused on making sure Naminé was safe and supported before preparing for his next journey. Xion, too, spent much of her time reconnecting with Roxas and Axel.
She despairingly stares at the teal-colored ice cream that is starting to melt in her hands, unable to shake off her sadness and resignation. The more she recalls her memories with Riku, the more she yearns for his comfort.
She wishes for his comforting arms to be around her once more.
Actually, she wanted nothing more than to run to him, hold him tightly, and cry when she saw him in the Keyblade Graveyard. She restrained herself at the time, because she had just done so with Roxas and Axel, and it was hardly the time, as Xehanort had just opened Kingdom Hearts, which had to be sealed somehow. Even after Xehanort was defeated, she never got to properly speak with Riku - there was only a breathless exchange of each other's names accompanied by a small nod.
But all she wanted to do was to stop and simply gaze into his eyes.
At Hollow Bastion, the two of them had shared conversations: about Nobodies, about Sora and Kairi, Roxas and Axel, the Organization, and about each other. And in many of those conversations, Xion had so wished to see what emotions were filling Riku’s eyes behind the blindfold - the ones he wouldn’t show on his constantly brooding and grim face. She also always wondered about the color of his eyes.
A smile tugged at the corner of her mouth.
Now, she finally knows that his eyes are a dark turquoise, always filled with determination and strength.
.
Xion!
With her name on his lips, he wrenches up from the bed, jolted awake from his slumber. Some unidentified emotion claws at his chest. Anxiety?
Xion had faded from existence, leaving a strange hollowness in Riku’s chest.
He had not understood it then.
When he met her in Sora’s heart, he felt that same hollowness, aching in longing. He didn’t recognize her, yet felt himself gravitated towards her.
“Riku. What do you wish?”
In the few days that followed, Riku dreamed of that girl often. He didn’t know at the time, but he dreamed scattered memories both familiar and unfamiliar to him, and then woke up, so surprised by their closeness and the pain he felt.
He confided in Queen Minnie, too, asking for her thoughts. Her response was something similar. “What do you feel your heart is trying to tell you, Riku?”
His eyes instantly flit to his window, where the moon shines brightly in the midnight sky.
What is his heart trying to tell him? What does he wish for?
Xion . . .
Upon seeing her in the Keyblade Graveyard, he remembers how the memories of her had flooded his head the same way they had left - almost like a movie reel, rolling in snippets of his interactions, thoughts, and feelings revolving her, with the static clearing instead of clouding them this time.
He hadn’t meant to get very close to her or be her savior, he recalls thinking after he had saved her that afternoon at Destiny Islands. But he did everything in his power to see her hopes fulfilled. At the time, he felt that it would show him the path to what he must do, but there was a part of him who did it for her, as well - not just because she was a part of Sora, made from his memories, but for her sake, as her own person.
But the same restlessness that he felt in that time dawns upon him once more.
His heart is telling him that hers is unsettled.
.
Riku’s suspicions are confirmed when Roxas calls him and Lea in a state of panic.
Xion is missing.
Roxas asks them if she came to Radiant Garden or Destiny Islands, but Lea and Riku haven’t seen her. Lea decides to come to Twilight Town and help him look around. Riku, on the other hand, suspects where she might actually be.
The sight of her on the bridge at Beast’s Castle takes Riku back to the last time he actually saw Xion before she ceased to exist.
“I thought you would be here,” he says, as he enters through the gate, causing her head to twist towards him in surprise.
“Riku?” The forlorn expression on her face immediately brightens, causing unexpected warmth to spread through him. She takes a step towards him, but as her arm reaches out, she hesitates, and her smile falls. With her arm awkwardly dropping to her side, she asks, “How did you know where to find me?”
The warm feeling in Riku’s chest is now polluted by the uncertainty in the air around them.
“Let’s just call it a lucky guess,” he answers, before he reaches her and places his hands on her shoulders. He finds that his chest feels lighter after he closes the odd space in between them. “Come back home, Xion. Roxas and Lea have been worrying for you.”
Her head tilts up towards him, her eyes intently staring into his. “What about you, Riku?” she questions.
He blinks. “Of course. Would I have been here otherwise?”
“I . . . I don’t know.” She slowly slumps to the ground, and Riku’s hands fall back to his sides. She hugs her knees to her chest and looks away. “But sometimes, I wonder if my presence bothers you.”
His mouth slightly falls open in surprise. Is that what Xion has been thinking this whole time? “Huh?! Why would you even think that?”
“I look just like Kairi,” Xion points out softly, as she clenches her eyes shut, almost in shame. “I remind you of her . . . and Sora, too. You miss them very much.”
At the mention of his friends, Riku nearly winces. He silently prays that Sora finds his way back to them soon. “I do miss them, but . . . ” he trails off, his eyes trained on her face to inspect her features closely: the shape of her lips, the curvature of her nose, and, finally, he crouches down to get a better look at her eyes. Yes, Kairi and Xion both have blue eyes, but Kairi’s are lighter and remind him of a cloudless, morning sky.
Xion’s eyes are like sapphires.
He realizes only then how close his face is to hers. So, he moves to lean against the bridge’s brick parapet and sit next to her, with their shoulders touching.
“You’re neither Sora nor Kairi. The only person you remind me of is Xion,” he tells her softly. She smells different from Kairi, too.
Before she can open her mouth to disagree, though, he frowns deeply.
“But there’s something else, isn’t there?” His heart still feels as restless as hers. “What’s going on with you, Xion? What’s wrong?”
It is silent for a moment before she finally speaks. “I feel as though the universe is constantly putting me in my place, reminding me that I am nothing more than just a puppet who doesn’t belong, who isn’t meant to be here.” The tremble in her voice makes Riku believe this is her first time voicing these feelings out loud.
“You know that’s not true,” he says encouragingly. “You are your own person.” He stops to correct himself. “You were always your own person from the start.”
“Riku . . . ” Her voice seems pained, and it makes Riku wonder how long she has been suffering in silence for.
Riku draws in a deep, sharp breath. “I wish you had come to me about this,” he says, before she can argue with him.
She firmly shakes her head. “It’s an answer I need to find for myself.” It was advice he imparted to her the last time as well. “And I, um, didn’t want to get in the way. You’ve already been through a lot, and also seemed busy helping Naminé.”
“Naminé?” he echoes, mystified.
“You . . . you’ve been very close to her.” She looks away from him nervously. “I didn’t know if . . .”
“Oh.” He lets out a sheepish chuckle. “No, it’s not like that at all, between the two of us.” Not him, specifically, but his replica was over the moon for her - and for his sake, Riku was resolved to always protect and look after Naminé.
Xion turns back to him, her eyes full of surprise. “It isn’t?”
“No.” He shifts his body towards her and his hands move to the top of her arms. “Regardless, I’m always here, Xion,” he vows earnestly. “Don’t ever forget that. Whatever you want to do, whatever you wish.”
The question she asked him in Sora’s heart comes to mind.
.
Her shining eyes are as blue as the depths of an ocean, and Riku drowns in them.
Xion was collecting seashells along the shore with Naminé before, but now approaches him with a warm smile. Riku doesn’t need to look into his heart to know that she has found the answer she has been looking for.
“You’re a Keyblade Master,” she says simply.
He nods. “I am.”
“I want to stay here and learn from you, Riku.” In spite of her show of determination, she hesitates. “If . . . if you are willing to take me as your apprentice.” She timidly tucks a lock of her behind her ear.
He cannot mask his surprise - so, here is where she found that she belonged. But his face breaks out into a grin. He reaches for her hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze, feeling a thrill run through him at the idea.
“I may have to leave soon,” he says honestly. He doesn’t yet know when he’ll be sent off, only that a journey is coming. “But until then, I’ll teach you everything I can. Wherever I am, Xion, you can still walk this path . . . if that’s what you wish for.” And whatever she wishes is what he wishes for.
It doesn’t take long before everyone leaves, but they both remain on the beach, as the sun sets on Destiny Islands.
It is a scene very familiar to Riku, one that has been reeling in his head for weeks now: Xion sits atop the curved trunk of the tree, and next to her, Riku leans against it, his arms folded over his chest.
They watch the orange sky bleed into the evening blue.