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"These are all horrible ideas," Skeptic growled in the midst of the chaos. The chatter died down, and all of the other voices turned to stare at him, varying degrees of incredulousness plastered on their faces.
Well, almost all of them. Stubborn and Smitten were still watching the princess intently. They frankly looked ridiculous to Skeptic, standing there mesmerized by her sparkling blades. Especially because those blades were currently stabbing them all to death. Repeatedly.
"You don't say!" Cheated suddenly spoke up, pushing his way through the heap to approach Skeptic. "You're right, aren't you? Of course you are. None of this is working. She just keeps stabbing us!" Skeptic noticed that Cheated's voice was taking an alarmingly cheerful turn. He didn't like that. Not one bit.
"Now, pray tell, oh brilliant thinker, what you would do in our stead," Cheated continued, tone dangerous. "What absolutely amazing ideas that you, being so much smarter than all of us--well, all of them," he muttered, shooting an annoyed glare back at the motley group. Most of them failed to notice, except for Opportunist, who let out a theatrical and long-winded gasp."--could possibly hope to invent?"
Skeptic paused, studying the princess. She was currently giggling at their latest attempt, trying to cover her smile behind a gleaming blade. It offered insufficient coverage, however, and most of her grin was still visible, displaying her needle-sharp teeth. This woman really was knife-like down to a point, wasn't she. Heh, point. Skeptic knew he could be funny.
"Well--," Skeptic started, but failed to continue. Did she always have dimples? True they were small and easy to miss, but now he couldn't help but notice them when she smiled. Which she was doing quite a lot of, actually, as she went about her business of stabbing them.
She seemed to be quite enjoying herself as she fought them, as she leaped at them with powerful and dancerly bounds, as her glimmering blades adorned with ribbons of flesh trailed through the air, as her--
"Go on," Cheated encouraged with flat-sounding sweetness, reminding Skeptic of what he was supposed to be doing. "Explain to us how to do it. How to beat her. How to win."
"Yes...well, uh...that's easy, we just have to..."
He wondered how her hair stayed so angular even amid the rapid motion. Perhaps it was made of cold metal, too, just like she was on the inside. How cold was she, anyway? Did she radiate body heat like a living thing should? She was certainly alive, but she also was actively defying the normally accepted factors for being alive. Wait, was she really? Technically speaking, despite the fact that it is unusual, Skeptic didn't recall any rules against knife--
Cheated coughed impatiently, once more bringing Skeptic back to reality. He was a bit embarrassed by himself at this point and shuffled on his talons awkwardly as he searched for words.
"Ah, you see, we-we're not--it's not--she--we need to think more," Skeptic finally answered. Even he was surprised by how scattered his response was.
Cheated's eye twitched.
"Right," he replied quietly. Too quietly. "We just need to 'think up new ideas.' Again! What a brilliant, truly spectacular suggestion..." Cheated's voice was steadily getting louder by the second. For once, the entire crew was quiet, captivated (and likely a bit paralyzed) by the predicted explosion.
"...That's exactly like the last twenty times you said anything!" Cheated yelled. Ah, the prediction was correct.
"Of course we need to 'tHiNk Up NeW iDeAs,' you idiot! That's our whole problem! But instead of actually giving us a fresh hand, all of you lot just keep drawing from the discard pile!" Skeptic wasn't entirely sure what he was talking about at this point.
"Even you! Yes you! Mr. Thinks-He-Knows-It-All, telling us that we need to think of something new! Guess what? Just saying that over and over again is pointless! It won't make anything happen! Need I remind you of how this--"he gestured at the princess, knives crowding what's left of her forearms and mouth,"--particular instance got started?"
"You!" Cheated screamed, not bothering to wait for any answer. "You made us stop and think up a different idea! And she just went ahead and stabbed us! As per usual!" He started laughing. It was unsettling.
"I can't believe you all, a bunch of morons you are," Cheated grumbled, marching away from Skeptic to continue attempting to find a path to victory. The other voices also resumed their..."strategizing."
Skeptic felt a bit taken aback. It was true, they very much needed to think up something better, and fast. But everything fell flat against her. She outsmarted them every time. Such a clever person, wasn't she?
She was currently untangling a snagged piece of her dress from a knife protruding from her ankle. Yep. She had to be a genius, Skeptic was certain.
Hmmm....now that he thought about it, her blades truly were pretty to look at. Just like when they glimmered in the starlight when he first suggested they ponder their options. Skeptic carefully observed them for a moment, allowing his thoughts to wander. Productively, of course.
Unbeknownst to Skeptic, Smitten noticed his intense thinking. Smitten sighed and shook his head at the sight, but he also wore a knowing smile on his face.