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One would think a robot is immune to the ludicrous, juvenile feeling. One would think a being whose whole existence is to be efficient, to be stronger than humans is immune to something as foolish as a crush. Yet here Kitty is, looking up the definition of crush after one too many teasing words from Ethan and Melissa. Alas, Vikihow is useless as always. There goes 45 minutes of Kitty’s time that they will never get back.
“This is stupid” they sighed internally, turning off the tabs. They know it’s impossible. Everyone makes sure they know that. They're a RoboFizz, an unfeeling, unemotional analytical robot created to be efficient and to serve. How could someone like them ever feel something that seems so…valuable to the human soul?
A sudden knock snapped Kitty out of their thoughts as they zoned back in, realizing their battery was fully charged now. “Hey, doll,” Travis said, stretching at the doorway of Kitty’s quarters. After multiple incidents of Kitty powering down in the middle of work, everyone agreed this was more convenient. “What are you doing here? I thought Val left”
Kitty stared at him for a moment too long. They never truly understood why Ethan and Melissa had such a strong feeling when they assumed she had a ‘crush’ on him. He’s cute according to hell’s standard— which is not that high, his company is pleasant though again the standard is hell, he’s not as bad as other sinners. Give or take, many could do worse “Mr. Vox took him out for dinner” they said, taking the charger out of their charging port.
“So you just stuck here?” Travis asked, leaning against the door frame “What about Melissa and Ethan?”
“Ms. Velvette took Melissa for a work trip and Ethan is currently passed out in his office”
Travis sighed “Of course he is” he pushed himself off the door frame and opened his mouth then closed it again like he wanted to say something but chose to to
“Yes?” Kitty interrupted, looking up at him
“Nothing just— I don't know” he shrugged, putting his hands in his coat pockets “You being in a dark room, alone, it fucking depressing” he grumbled
“Travis” Kitty called out, fighting the strange urge to smile “being left alone does not ‘hurt my feelings’ if that’s what you’re worried about”
“I know that” Travis grumbled, pouting slightly as he realized how stupid he must’ve sounded “Just… I don’t know, we’re friends” he said. “Acquaintances” he corrected himself “and I know a good joint, was wondering if you wanna— I-I don’t know” he continued, his voice and confidence getting quieter as he went on
Kitty stared as Travis continued, their inside feeling like it’s in turmoil. They could even feel their face heating up slightly when they touched it to check. They tried to check their system analysis, to figure out what was wrong to cause such a ruckus in their system. Honestly, if hell had butterflies they would’ve suspected one snuck into their internal system
“So? Are you coming or not?” Travis interrupted
“Pardon?”
“The food joint,” Travis repeated
“…I don’t…eat” Kitty replied, their eyes darting between Travis and the rest of the room awkwardly. A moment of silence passed between them as Travis stared at Kitty like his pride and ego shattered into a million pieces
“Oh.”
“Yeah”
Another silence
“Well I’m going to just—“ Travis said, stumbled backward slightly before he picked himself back up “I’m just— I’m gonna…go”
“Good night”
“Yeah night” He replied and walked away, grumbling about how stupid he was to Kitty's confusion. Travis sometimes forgets they’re a robot all the time, they don’t see any reason why this would make him more ‘idiotic’ than the last.
.
.
.
The next day when Kitty recounts the story to Melissa and Ethan however, they get split reactions between wheezing and coughing on the ground to an attempted supportive smile.
“HE ASKED YOU OUT AND THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID?!” Melissa screeched, earning an under-the-table kick from Ethan
“I was simply stating facts” Kitty said, still not understanding it “He was going out for dinner and I could not physically eat and I don’t have any interest in watching humans eat”
“Oh sweetie” Ethan sighed
“What did I do?” Kitty asked, getting a bit frustrated now
“He wanted to spend time with you” Ethan said as Melissa took multiple deep breaths, looking up and fanning her face so her tears of laughter won’t ruin her makeup “like on a date...probably” He added though he wasn’t even sure of that himself
“A date?” Kitty repeated, the feeling of butterflies and heated face coming back at the thought. Maybe they should have Ethan check their system for viruses.
“You know hands holding, candle-lit night, all that jazz” Melissa sighed as she finally calmed down “I really need to talk to Travis about his choice of date location though, honestly a food joint?”
“Why would he want to go on a date with me?” Kitty asked, still not fully getting the concept. Not that they have never seen a date or do not know what it means. It just seems pointless especially for the denizens of hell— never mind dating a RoboFizz.
Melissa and Ethan look at each other as if they’re asking each other the silent pending question that Kitty never seems to know “He likes you” Ethan said, gentler than Melissa who was laughing her ass off earlier “And I’ve seen the way he tried to ask out everything else that move, he’s trying his best to be sweet”
“I think you should at least give it a go” Melisa agreed
For a moment Kitty almost let their heart…their illogical and tainted operating system believes Travis’s infatuation could be reciprocated— like they wanted to believe it could, was it just pity? Yearning? It doesn’t matter. It never was with someone like them “Why?” They asked “I’m a RoboFizz, I am easily replaceable. I could barely understand either your adoration and attachment toward me”
The two sinners stay silent for a moment, they always try to forget how easily each of them could be replaced— if it wasn’t for Vox and Velvette's favoring Melissa and Ethan they would’ve been gone too “Call me foolish but…” Melissa said, looking up at Travis who just entered the breakroom “Maybe that’s why you should try at least once.” She said “Call it an experiment”
“Hey guys” Travis groaned, flopping down next to Ethan, leaning against him as he began to complain about his work to which Ethan barely listened to and Melissa only argued with him though playfully.
An experiment huh? Maybe they could begin to understand why they’ve been acting so out of sorts. Maybe they could fix it. And if it comes with spending time with one of their dearest friends— or only friends…acquaintances, it would be nice
“…Would you want to go out with me?” Kitty asked suddenly cutting through the conversation
“What?”
“I’ve come to realize last night you were asking me on a date,” Kitty said, shaking their feet under the table. They don’t know why they’re so fidgety, it’s just an experiment, almost a chance to prove Melissa and Ethan wrong, that this IS nothing as Kitty said, that this is just her system momentarily malfunctioning. Whatever Travis is feeling is a blip or curiosity that needs to be satisfied. “So I’m rectifying my lapse in judgment by asking you out”
Travis blinked, before he let out multiple sounds of disbelief and got elbowed by Ethan, calling him back to reality and a reminder for him to be cool “yes— yeah! Sure! Do you uh like sushi?”
“Travis—“
“Right— can’t eat— I’ll— I’ll just think of something” Travis interrupted Melissa who already looked disappointed and face-palming at how uncool Travis is taking this.
.
.
.
“Are you really sure you want to do this?” Ethan asked, helping zip up Kitty’s dress, pulling the tail of her jester hat away from it “Melissa’s word didn’t make you feel obliged to right?”
“It did” Kitty admitted, looking at the mirror “Though mostly it’s my own curiosity” they added, playing with the jester tail like it’s her hair— a gesture she copied from Melissa a long time ago “Do you really think…” They paused, closing their eyes for a moment as they shut it down.
“What?”
“Nothing”
“Kit’s”
“…Do you think a robot could feel?” Kitty asked, looking down at her hands “To an extent it’s just… a cheap imitation right?” They continued “How much of it is real?”
Ethan looks down at them before wrapping his arms around them, pulling Kitty into a loose hug “For what it's worth, I think it’s real no matter what” he said “and so does Melissa and Travis. Especially Travis”
“Other sinners would’ve called all of you pathetic for that”
“We sold our souls, Kit’s” Ethan said, pulling back and braiding the tail together “Being pathetic is the least of our worries” he chuckled, putting his hands on Kitty’s shoulders and turning them to the mirror “If Travis hurt you I’m going to kill him”
Kitty laughed softly before a knock came, Travis finally finished with today's shooting. Kitty opened the door, poking their head out “hi”
It took Travis a minute to respond “hi— uh” he said awkwardly, pushing a mixed, barely organized bouquet, if they could be considered that. “Here” he said
Kitty accepted it, something about the gesture made them want to smile “thank you” they said, stepping into their quarter so they could put the ‘bouquet’ in a vase.
“Is that the flowers from the hallway houseplants?” Ethan asked
“Shut up”
“I think it’s lovely,” Kitty said, fixing up the jacked pedals slightly. “We should go”
Kitty took Travis’ arm— not that they would admit it out loud but they did look up and do research on how one should act on a date. It’s not because of anxiety or nervousness, after all they’re above. Travis is just their friend and they want to make sure he has a good time. Either way, they say goodbye to Ethan and begin their date officially.
It started awkwardly to the point of frustration. It’s so irrational to be like this when they’re friends. Friends who held hands, who hang out, talked— all the things that a first date has. Discreetly Kitty bit down their pride and took a look at the screen on their wrist, looking up a conversation starter.
They squint “ was the first thing you noticed about me?”
“What?”
Quickly Kitty hid the screen “Just curious” they shrugged, urging Travis to answer
“Well…I guess…” he thought for a moment but Kitty knew it was to not be rude. If anything it’s probably something about their body or that they’re a RoboFizz. It’s what everyone else first comments about them so why would— “you’re surprisingly cute” he said, making Kitty stop
“What?” They asked. Certainly, that’s a new one and it makes the butterflies much worse
“Yeah” Travis said, looking away “it’s the smile..I guess”
“Oh,” Kitty exclaimed as they began to walk again. They reach up, touching their lips as if they never really thought about their smile. It was something designed into their creation, something every other RoboFizz has. Why does Travis say that as if they were unique?
“This is pretty awkward huh?” Travis scoffed
“Could be worse”
“Really?”
“Mm, you seen Mr. Valentino and Vox’s dates.” Travis chuckled, relaxing a little bit and it just strangely gave Kitty’s ego a small boost seeing him smile from their joke.
“Where are we going anyway?”
“Oh you’re going to love it” Travis said before he started telling the fun facts about the movie they’re going to watch and how it was filmed and all the technical stuff he thinks is cool and Kitty finds fascinating.
“Funny I always assumed” they paused, trying to think of a way to say their thought without being rude
“What, that I only watched porn because I work for Val?”
“Among other things” Kitty chuckled
“Well yes, those extremely hot” Travis laughed in a way that Kitty couldn’t help but adore, “But when you work in the industry you need something different every once in a while” he shrugged. He took a step forward toward the ticket booth and leaned against it. The ticket seller couldn’t care less as he slammed the tickets to the counter, waiting for Travis to pay the overpriced fees.
“You’re a dollar short” The staff said monotonously
“What?”
“YOU’RE A DOLLAR SHOR—“
“I heard that!” Travis snapped before he patted down his pocket “Hold on I have enough I swear” he said, getting a bit more frantically now. Especially when the ticket seller is so obviously judging him with an exaggerated sigh and eye roll. Eventually, Kitty stepped in, putting a single bill on the counter just so they could go in
“I had the money,” Travis insisted as they sat down in an almost empty theater.
“It’s okay”
“I swear that fucker ripped me off—”
“Travis” Kitty interrupted, putting their hand on his arm and stopping him from going on a tangent instead of actually having a good time “Tell me about the movie” they whispered, leaning closer as the hours of commercials began
Travis’s expression softened as he began to explain the ‘genius’ of the movie, almost spoiling the whole thing multiple times.
Eventually, the movie started and as much as Kitty didn’t quite understand the premise or the appeal, they definitely enjoyed it. When they got out the the theater Travis was excitedly asking for their opinion, pointing out the foreshadowing and details. It was quite endearing. Finally ended up on a roof somewhere downtown. The longer the date went on the more Kitty allowed themself to believe this fantasy. That maybe they’re not just programming, that this isn’t just an imitation. Maybe it’s possible to…
“Hey,” Travis said, walking up to them with a bag of snacks. “I figured you don’t want to be left out” he said before Kitty could tell him they can’t eat. “Was the date…bad?” He asked, probably noticing the internal conflict.
“What?” Kitty asked, taken aback by his question “No— Satan no” they said, getting closer to Travis without thinking before catching themself “It’s…I don’t know” They paused for a moment, looking down from the rooftop “I enjoyed this date, I do. But…” They hesitated “Was it real? I am, in my core, a program. An unfeeling robot and only an imitation of what you wanted from me. Is it not cruel to put you through that? To— tell you I feel one thing when it’s just—“
“Doll,”
“Just— a string of algorithms and—“
“Kitty” Travis interrupted them, leaning closer making Kitty’s breath hitch
“Yes?”
“You need to think less” he chuckled, kissing the top of Kitty’s head “Seriously, I don’t think any amount of ‘algorithm’ would make you this worried. Besides,” he added, leaning closer. For a moment Kitty almost leaned in, forgetting themself “If you start having existential dread now, Ethan and Melissa will kill me for it” he joked.
Kitty stared before letting out a full laugh, elbowing him gently for it. They sighed and looked into the city, where the extermination clock used to be before Heaven Gate fell on it. “Do you really want this?”
“This?”
“Me”
A beat of silence goes by making Kitty backtrack, opening their mouth to dismiss the question “Yeah.” Travis interrupted like it was obvious “I mean I don’t put in this much effort for a cheap lay”
“But is it even possible?” Kitty asked “I don't want you to get hurt because I…” They paused, knowing they had to say it eventually but it still felt unbearable “because I don’t have a soul to love”
Travis took a moment, he was never good at words that don't end in sex scenes. He could only tap his claws on the railing before hesitantly putting his arm around Kitty, pulling them closer “Who knows?” he shrugged in an attempt to be nonchalant “Redemption is possible, Overlord worked together. Who’s to say robots can’t grow a soul, right?”
Kitty stared, feeling her internal warm up more as her system hummed like it’s a heart beating. Travis flushed as he pulled away “geez, that’s pretty corny though, huh—?”
“No, no,” Kitty interrupted as they moved closer “Not at all” they added, moving their hand to Travis’s hand, keeping it on their waist as they lay their head on his shoulder
“…we should do this again”
“Mmhm”