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Fortress of the Warriors of Chaos, Garland reporting.
Or rather, I’m reacting.
“What are you wasting your time on?!” I snarl as I enter, shuffling through the small doorway so I don’t nick my armor.
Kuja slowly turns around, flourishing his hands. “Ahh, Garland! Pleasant as always I see…” He greets me, but with more venom than usual.
I stare at the crowd of so-called warriors, seeing Kuja in a turtle-neck with loose sleeves and tight pair of pants, Ultimecia in a faux-fur robe themed after Griever, the newcomer Caius in a gaudy sweater, Mateus in an extravagant mauve-and-golden robe overlaid over a set of imperial sleepwear, and narrow my eyes. “Not only are none of you armored–” I outstretch my hand at the sorry state of affairs that Exdeath is in, “But you are…DECORATING ONE OF OUR OWN IN HOLIDAY DECORATIONS!” I am trying to yell less, but Ultimecia is blaring her copy of Julia’s Sounds of Starlight Celebration Collection at the highest volume possible.
Exdeath tries to face me, but he has a string of magicite lights strung over him, a star atop his helmet, and a bunch of ornaments hung on various parts of his armor. “We have a good reason, I swear to the Void–”
I hear a hopping sound, and turn with a sigh. “You’re behind this, aren’t you Kefka?”
Kefka, dressed in the gaudiest sweater possible, with matching pants to boot, sips from his mug of cocoa, which has far too many marshmallows for any human to consume. “Hmmm, not quite this time, chum! More of a group-organized war plan, hehe!”
I slap my hand to my helmet. “You mean to tell me OTHERS willingly involved themselves in this?”
Mateus strives forward, “Quiet yourself, Garland. Remember the newcomer? He’s by no means sensitive, but…” he leans forward to whisper, “Do give a good impression as our leader. Wouldn’t want to promote any would-be usurpers, no?” he lightly laughs as he pulls away.
I breathe in and out, just like I was instructed to, but my anger is growing with each second. “Can you at least inform me as to why you thought this was a good idea?”
Ultimecia, currently hanging an ornament of the Ragnarok on Exdeath, looks over to me. “You see, I took a glimpse into Caius’ world, and while it is covered in snow, it’s rather…bleak as well. And by the time he was born, the world had long forgotten holidays of all kinds, but most of all, Starlight Celebration.”
I gulp. “That is…worse than I feared.” Even back in Cornelia, Starlight Celebration was beloved. I can remember standing guard during a ball held to celebrate, and all the lights, music and outfits feeling like something from a bard’s song.
Ultimecia nods, “So we decided that we needed to introduce Caius to Starlight Celebration, so he doesn’t feel so left-out compared to the rest of us.”
“But we already have so many differences.” I reply, approaching her. Though I tower over her, she still stares at me as confident as a general. “I don’t even know what a SeeD is, nor do I know what I Want To Be Your Crow–”
“Canary!” Kuja corrects.
“--Canary is, so why does a holiday matter all of a sudden?”
Ultimecia taps her chin with her nail, “Well…”
Exdeath, answers for her. “Even I, a being of the Void, long to fit in. It appears to be a persistent ailment that affects all living creatures, no matter where they originated from in the world, nor what time they traveled from.”
“...You have a good point.” I concede. I finally look at Caius, who almost looks meek. “And why are you so quiet?”
“I’m…not used to so many people. My village wasn’t large, and was also very tight-knit.” He answers, and I’m mildly disturbed by how much he sounds like that accursed, jumpy Highwind that serves Cosmos. “So just being around so many warriors, all of which are as powerful as myself– or even more than me– is…intimidating. Doing something so mundane, that has no involvement with combat, or survival, is…I’m not sure of the word.”
I didn’t realize Caius was one of the more emotional kinds of warriors. There’s nothing wrong with that, but as a warrior who simply wanted petty revenge…I struggle to relate or communicate to those who have more personal difficulties, not out of a disdain, just a struggle to understand. Everyone here is aware of how a few months back I had to ask someone else to help Sephiroth on Mother’s Day, even though he had come to me for help.
“Calming?” I suggest to Caius.
He smiles and nods. “Yes, that is the word. It’s not one I’m very accustomed to.”
I sigh, and look at the group. “Whichever one of you is supplying these silly sweaters…Give me one to arm myself in.”
Kefka, who is hanging an ornament of himself, lifts his lips from his cocoa, “Oh goodie! I think you’ll like what I made, Garland.”
While he drags me away, I hear Caius speaking to Ultimecia. “By the way, Sorceress, where is the actual tree we were supposed to decorate? I thought the squadron we sent to find one would’ve returned by now.”
***
Meanwhile…Kupo…
Unfortunately for the Warriors of Chaos, they had not considered the fact that Sephiroth would think to cut a tree down with Masamune, and thus, take down far too many. They had all fallen over each other, breaking themselves in half, snapping their branches, and just making it difficult all around to grab one in good-enough condition to bring back home.
Jecht looks at the wreckage, jaw dropping. “We didn’t think this through, huh?”
Sephiroth shakes his head. “No, not whatsoever.”
Jecht looks around nervously, “Don’t you have some eco-aware friends? They’re uh…not gonna take this well.”
Sephiroth looks over to him, “I was part of SOLIDER, not Avalanche.”
“Is there a difference?”
“A lot, actually.”
“Doesn’t Kuja know a tree?”
“It’s not a good tree, so I don’t think we could use it.”
Ohoho, kupo…they seem absolutely hopeless, don’t they?
Good thing that I am here!
I fly over to them, my bag of merchandise over my shoulders. “Greetings, Kupo, and merry Starlight Celebration! Are you by chance, kupo, looking for a tree to decorate this holiday season?”
They exchange a look. “Is this legit?” Jecht asks.
“Of course, kupo!”
He fumbles around his waist, and grabs his bag of gil, “This enough to cover the price?”
“Yes, kupo!” I bring my bag forward and search through it, eventually finding a tree. “Here you go!”
Jecht jumps back, “How do you fit a tree in there?!”
“Are you still not used to magic?” Sephiroth asks with a dry laugh. “Even after you’ve carried so many potions on your person? And thank you, good moogle. I will make sure to recommend your services to others.”
I wave at them, “Thank you, great warrior, and goodbye, kupos!”
“Wait, why didn’t you say great warriors instead–” Jecht asks, but I fly away before he finishes.
