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Draken has a routine that he follows religiously every single day- He wakes up at seven to do some muscle training at his room, takes a quick shower and walks to Mikey`s house to wake him up. He will then help Mikey (still half asleep) get changed and carry him on his back to school to follow with the day (or to a meeting, or to any place he wants to go if it`s a weekend). It should be a nuisance, and it really was at the start, when they got late to school for the first time because Mikey wasn`t in a good mood, or when they skipped an important test because Mikey wanted to eat something different instead of going to school. It should be a nuisance because he could never say no, found himself following Mikey no matter what. But it wasn`t. It was part of his day, part of his life to go through this daily routine, and deep inside he wouldn`t have it any different from what it was (and that`s why once, when Haruchiyo offered to be the one waking up Mikey in the morning, Draken got angry and just mumbled that he was already “used to it” so it wasn’t necessary). He wouldn’t trade the fact that he was the one person in the world that could see Mikey like this- rubbing his eyes as he tries to wake up, yawning and asking for five more minutes, hugging that stupid old blanket. It was a sight that belonged to him only, made his chest warm and full of that one stupid feeling he could only admit out loud in moments like this, a secret, whispered to no one but him and the teen that wasn’t even awake yet to listen and remember.
”Such a baby.” Draken says, shaking his head as he watches Mikey still drooling against his pillow with his eyebrows furrowed. He leans down close to the bed, moves a piece of wild, blond hair behind his ear and sighs. “Damn, I really do love you.”
He waits three more minutes just to be sure, and then starts shaking Mikey by his shoulder quite violently to get him to wake up and follow their routine. Just like always. An hour later they’re leaving the Sano house, Mikey on his back being quieter than he usually is- he said he had played games until late and was still sleepy, and Draken believed him, it wouldn't be the first nor the last time he pulled an all-nighter. They walk to class with the teacher still there, and no one says a word when they get to their seats. Mikey didn’t complain, slept through the whole class and lunch, which wasn’t normal for him, but guaranteed it was just because of his bad night.
Mikey woke up earlier than usual that day, needing to use the bathroom urgently. Usually, he would just go back to sleep and ignore his bladder, but it was so full this time he couldn’t help but groan in annoyance as he made his way to the toilet. He saw on his clock that it was already eight in the morning, which meant Draken would be there soon and he didn’t have time to sleep again. He could still pretend, though, and maybe convince Draken to skip classes before lunch and take a nap with him. And it’s with that in mind that he gets comfortable in bed, clutches his blanket and closes his eyes. In the few minutes it takes for Draken to arrive, Mikey is almost dozing off in bed, drooling on his pillow with his mind drifting away to unconsciousness. And it’s in this state that he hears the one phrase that would get stuck to him for the whole day.
”Damn, I really do love you.”
It was a dream, right? Of course it had to be a dream. It wouldn’t be the first time that Mikey’s mind played with him like that, that he dreamed with Draken confessing to him, but this time he couldn’t even convince himself that he was fully asleep. So he did the only thing he could think about. Pretend to sleep, avoid Ken-chin until he could get over it and his brain stopped making him feel like this wasn’t a dream.
“You’re stupid.” Baji didn’t take his eyes from the portable console he had in hands to reply. They were at Sanzu’s house, Mikey calling an emergency meeting with his childhood friends saying he really needed their help.
Their help being listening to him whine about liking Ken and his feelings not being mutual, about how the bean pole of a guy was stupid and now he had to avoid him because of a weird dream.
Sanzu could only sigh, annoyed. “I hate it when you make me agree with Keisuke.” That got a muffled hey from said boy before the pink haired one continued to speak. “But you’re being stupid now, Mikey. If it was a dream, then you have no reason to ignore Draken. If it wasn’t a dream, then you go, your love is mutual and you two can get together and live happily forever.”
“It’s not that easy, Haru.”
“Why not?”
”Because…” Well, he had no answer to that. There was no logical way to deny what Sanzu had said, as much as Mikey wanted to. “Because it’s not!”
Sometimes, Sanzu wanted to punch Mikey. And he would, if the small guy wasn’t at least ten times stronger than him. So he resorted to massaging his own forehead in annoyance.
”You’re literally the only person that refuses to see that Draken is head over heels with you.” Mikey whined. Sanzu frowned. “Don’t try to deny, you just don’t believe it because you’re too much of a coward to even try something. We had that talk already, you will say that the risk is too big in case I’m wrong and then act as if nothing happened. Even though this time you heard it from Ken himself.”
”Could be a dream.”
“Please. There was not enough time for you to get into that deep of a sleep after you woke up. You would need at least 90 minutes to even start dreaming.”
“Bla, bla, bla. I could still be dreaming.”
Sanzu let out a long, loud, annoyed sigh as Mikey covered his ears with his hands and pretended not to be listening to him. His last resort when he knew he wasn’t right.
Mikey wanted so badly for his friends to just assure him that yeah, it was a dream and he could just go back to normal. Because facing it wasn’t a dream meant that he had to face his own feelings. And as much as he would like to be happy with the fact that maybe Draken also liked him, the fear of messing up with his most important bond was bigger than anything. It was easy to just like him knowing nothing would ever happen. It wasn’t easy to decide if he wanted to ignore this chance or risk everything.
And Sanzu knew, knew that he was afraid and didn’t want things to change. And that Mikey was a fucking brick head, wouldn’t ever listen to anyone if he didn’t want to. It was useless to try and argue. He could only hope for the best outcome.
”Then you have no reason to ignore him. Solved.”
Of course, as expected, Mikey didn’t listen to him. Being logical, there was no reason for him to avoid Draken. But for the rest of the week, he would wake up at seven, walk to school with Emma, sleep during classes and find a way to ignore Draken as he walked back home.
On Tuesday, Draken was confused when Mikey texted him early in the morning saying he would go to school with Emma, but didn’t get really worried.
On Wednesday, the same text made him frown, and when he tried to ask Mikey if everything was okay at school, he just got a ‘I just want to spend more time with my family, that’s all’ as an answer.
On Thursday, Mikey arrived late, close to lunch time, and Draken wanted to know why he still told him not to go pick him up. Mikey shrugged.
On Friday, Draken was at his breaking point, trying to think back on the week and what could have made Mikey upset at him, because it was really obvious that he was the problem. He saw the other with their other friends, saw how he always seemed to vanish when he got close, and it was bothering him.
At 3am on Saturday, he couldn’t sleep. He was worried, annoyed at the rupture on his routine and anxious, and decided he had had enough of this situation. He needed to know what was happening or he would go crazy.
Draken got up from his bed, grabbed his jacket and made his way towards Mikey’s home. There was no one on the street this late in the night, and the cold air of late November made his body tremble and only added to his annoyance. He could be at his house, sleeping on a warm bed, and instead he was up to resolve a problem that he couldn’t remember creating.
He had a spare key for Mikey’s bedroom, since he moved from inside the house to Shinichiro’s old workshop when his older brother rented his own apartment. And Ken was thankful for that, so he could get in without having to bother anyone else in the house.
Just as he expected as he walked inside, Mikey was sleeping soundly in his bed, so peaceful after making Draken almost explode in anxiety for the whole week. It annoyed him even more. His mood was already damp as he walked to the bed, removing unceremoniously the blanket Mikey had around his body and sending the boy to the ground with it.
”Owwww, what the fuck—“ Mikey groaned and looked around, hair a total mess, a frown on his face as he tried to understand what was happening, meeting with the annoyed onyx gaze of his friend. “Ken-chin? What are you doing here?”
Draken sat on the corner of his bed, folded his eyes on top of his chest, and held Mikey’s sleepy gaze. “I want to know why you’ve been ignoring me.”
Mikey froze in place for a second, not expecting that question. He knew that maybe Ken had noticed that he was being ignored, but wouldn’t ever imagine that he would come to his house, late in the night and corner him for an answer.
”I’m not ignoring you.” The lie felt stupid even for his own ears.
Draken let out a low chuckle. “I’m not dumb. I know you’re ignoring me, and I thought we were close enough for you to stop playing this stupid silent game instead of talking out whatever could be wrong.” Hurt. Draken’s voice went from angry to hurt as he talked.
Ouch. Mikey had to admit that he didn’t think how this would affect Draken, because he was too focused in his own predicament to even think. He had been selfish.
”Okay, it’s not nothing. But I don’t wanna talk about it.” He gave up on lying, sitting up on the floor and avoiding Draken’s gaze. He looked at the wall behind the blond, half shaved head, trying to focus on something.
”That’s not fair.” Draken sighs, runs a hand on his hair that was up in a ponytail. His mind was blank, couldn’t think of a reason for Mikey to be acting like that. “Did I do something?”
”No!”
”Then tell me what the hell is going on in your head for you to be avoiding me, if it’s not something wrong I did. ‘Cause everything was normal on Sunday, and then on Monday…” Draken stopped talking suddenly.
Mikey’s chest was tight. He was biting at his bottom lip, nervous, facing the one decision he really didn’t want to. He could just lie to Draken, but there was nothing in his mind that sounded like a believable excuse to justify his actions. Or he could just tell the truth, the one he wanted to avoid because as strong as he was in fights, he was still a coward when it came to his own feelings. So lost trying to find a good excuse he was, he didn’t notice the look of realization on Draken’s face.
”You listened to what I said.” He said in a low voice, and suddenly there was a short laugh coming from him. “Oh, shit, you listened to what I said, didn’t you?”
The way the dark eyes of the smallest of them went comically large and his face went blank were enough of an answer for Draken. The anger on Draken’s face melted into something sad. Dejected.
”Wow. Okay. I didn't- You weren’t supposed to listen to it.” Nervous. He was looking to the side, hands slightly trembling as he scratched at the dragon tattoo on his temple. “I can deal with rejection. I mean, I kinda knew nothing would ever happen, so. Don’t worry about it. Don’t need to ignore me to spare my feelings or anything. Fuck, this is awkward.”
The pressure on his chest got worse, and Mikey opened his mouth once, twice, but didn’t know what to say. If he didn’t want to risk their friendship, it would be better to just let Draken believe nothing would happen and move on with it.
Except. He didn’t want to. He didn’t want Draken to think that his feelings weren’t welcome, to think that Mikey didn’t love him back- hell, Draken was literally the one person he loved the most in the world, the one he needed so much it was pathetic.
It made him remember the time Sanzu had confessed to him, a few years ago. He rejected his friend, and still, Sanzu said he never regretted it. That the pain of trying and being rejected would always be better than never being honest with himself.
He felt like an idiot.
He was an idiot.
Draken was already getting up, taking his silence as the confirmation of a rejection, and Mikey got up from the floor, stumbling on his blanket as he tried to reach the other.
”Ken-chin, wait!” He said louder than he wanted to, and Draken stopped, not looking at him yet. “It’s not that. I did listen to you, yeah, but I didn’t ignore you because of that. I mean, I did, but not the way you’re thinking.”
”You’re not making any sense.”
Mikey took a deep breath. Felt his heart beating so fast it made him nauseated. But he had to do it. Stop being a coward.
”I like you.” He blurted out. “No, scratch that, I love you. Yes, I love you too, and I was afraid. I wanted it to be a dream when I heard you saying that, because it is just so easy to have feelings and not do anything about it. It’s easier, because there’s no risk, and we could just be best friends like this forever. But then suddenly that wasn’t an option anymore, I couldn’t pretend I didn’t know if it was mutual or not, and I was just… Scared.” Mikey admits, hands closed in tight fists. “I didn’t know if I wanted to do something about it, I still don’t know if I want what we have to chance because, what if it doesn’t work? I can’t, Ken-chin, I really can’t.”
Can’t live without you.
It was too much to admit out loud even after he had vomited all his feelings and exposed himself like that.
Draken, who had been silent during the whole outburst, finally turned around to look at Mikey again. He was feeling too much at once, and his mind was fixed on one thing. Mikey also loved him. The seconds were thick as none of them said anything else, until Draken finally remembered to breathe.
”You.. God, you’re stupid.”
“Heard that one before.”
”You— You never think, you act on impulse, you get what you want, and suddenly you’re scared of that?”
”It’s different. I never lose a fight. I know I can fight anyone, so I don’t have to think too much. But I can lose here. And I don’t want to lose.”
In a way, Draken couldn’t blame him for feeling like that. It would be a lie if he said he never thought about it. Getting in a relationship wasn’t the hard part. It was the fear of breaking their bond in a way they couldn’t fix.
”Look. That’s scary for me too. I mean, I never thought I would have the chance of at least trying, but I can’t say it’s not scary.” He takes a step forward. Trembling. Was it okay to touch Mikey right now? “It’s scary as hell. But it’s also exciting. Like, I feel like I could vomit my heart right now. Physically.”
”But…?”
”But I don’t want to live knowing I faced love and gave up on it just because I was scared. We don’t know about the future, but I can’t see mine without you on it. And honestly? I think we’ll be okay.”
”You do?”
”I do.”
Mikey looked up, and noticed for the first time just how close Draken was. He blinked a few times, trying to make something from the tangled thoughts in his brain.
Don’t wanna live knowing I faced love and gave up on it.
That one phrase felt like a nail to seal his fears. He had never let his fears, whatever they were, guide him. He wouldn’t start now. He was the invincible Mikey, after all, and if there was one thing in the world that he was good at, it was overcoming whatever enemy that would come his way- even when the enemy was his own head.
He was really stupid (but wouldn’t ever admit that out loud.)
”What now?” He takes another step towards Draken, feels the big, cold hand reach for his cheek, his whole body trembling in anticipation as he licks his dry lips.
”Now.” Draken murmurs, leaning his head down until he is face to face with Mikey. They stared into each other’s eyes, a timid smile on his lips. “Honestly? Now I really want to kiss you.”
Mikey held his breath, looked at Draken’s lips and at his eyes again. He had imagined before, countless times, how it would feel to kiss his best friend. If it would taste sweet or spicy, if his lips were soft, if he would actually know what to do.
Draken’s lips weren’t soft. They were a little dry from the cold, and he seemed to be trembling just like him. The taste wasn’t spicy nor sweet. As Mikey closed his eyes and leaned his head down, he was thinking that it wasn’t anything like the ones in his imagination. It was better. It tasted like Ken-chin. It was warm and made his stomach feel funny. And it was full of a feeling they could barely put in words, as desperate as it was careful. He parted his lips, sighing, and Draken deepened the kiss, a tongue dragging slowly against his. Careful. Experimenting. Mikey barely noticed that he was at the tip of his toes, hands grabbing at the front of Draken’s shirt as he had both hands on his face.
When the kiss ended, they didn’t let go of each other. Mikey was the first to open his eyes, taking note of every single detail of Draken’s face. Their eyes met again, close and so full of emotions.
They both burst up laughing— of happiness, at the absurdity of the situation. Laughing at the heavy feeling that seemed to dissipate as they stared at each other.
”If you ever break up with me.” Mikey was interrupted by another quick, sweet kiss on his lips. “I will kill you. And then myself.”
”Isn’t that a little too much?”
Mikey shrugs, and Draken just shakes his head.
”Ne, Ken-chin. Can you sleep here tonight?”
Tiredness seemed to finally be catching up to them, the anxiety that was keeping Draken awake not present anymore. And it was late, cold outside. Draken nods, finally letting go of Mikey to grab the blanket on the ground.
It wasn’t the first time they slept on the same bed, not even the first time they ended cuddled under the blankets- Mikey was really touchy when he was asleep. In a way, he knew their relationship wouldn’t change too much (he had to admit there was some truth when their friends said they acted like a couple already), and Draken was okay with it. He watched as Mikey got comfortable on top of his chest, a smile on his face, quickly falling asleep.
And when Draken noticed that his breathing was even and his breath was calm, he smiled. “Yeah, I really do love you.” He whispered, and for once he didn’t care if he was being heard.