Solace

Tony was surprised by how much emotion he felt when Senior died. They’d never been close and while he’d taken care of him for the last few months or so that he was on his deathbed he hadn’t really expected to be affected at all. Jethro stepped up behind him and wrapped his arms around him offering solace as the waves of his unexpected grief crashed over him. Tony leaned back into his arms gratefully.

He was thankful that Jethro knew how to support him even when he didn’t speak out loud especially in times like this. They’d had a few bumps in the road on their relationship, but their unspoken communication was still at it’s best. Jethro led him to the couch and got them situated so that they were both comfortable and then he just let Tony do whatever he needed to do.

Jethro hadn’t lost his dad, yet, so he didn’t completely know what Tony was going through especially as he’d repaired his relationship with his dad a lot more than Tony had, but he’d been expecting Tony to get hit harder by his emotions than Tony expected to. He had seen the cracks in the armor as Tony claimed it was all fine and not a big deal and continued going to work each day while still taking care of his dad when not at work.

Jethro had tried to help out where he’d could, but Tony had wanted to do most of it himself, so he’d let him showing Tony through his actions instead that he would be there for him when Tony needed him and right now Tony needed the solace he offered. He needed comfort and to be able to let down the walls that he kept up around everyone else, so that’s what Jethro was giving him.

Tomorrow when Tony wanted to pretend none of this had happened, Gibbs would give him that as well. He knew Tony would only become more distressed if people treated him like a victim and hoped the other team members and Abby and Ducky would know better than to treat him that way. After all, saying I’m sorry for your loss doesn’t really help the person. It’s more an acknowledgement that they’re going through something.

It never helped him after he lost his wife and kids. He had to help himself. No sorry could ever fix it. That had actually been part of what instituted his never say sorry rule though he had perhaps gone a bit overboard with that rule before Tony came along.

Patting Tony’s head, Gibbs turned on the tv to something mindless knowing that while he enjoyed silence Tony needed some background noise to really feel comfortable letting it out. Jethro would stay here with Tony as long as he needed even if that meant they both slept down here instead of in the comfortable bed upstairs. He did hope that he could eventually talk Tony into going up to bed as they’d both be more comfortable there, but what mattered most was Tony. He hugged Tony to him tighter hoping that all his love for him could be felt through their touching.