Work Text:
“Don’t forget me, Elliot. Please.”
Light through onionskin. I can see morning through the bottom of my eyelids. I finally slept. But it’s so light out. The sun is so bright. I’m not sure I can open my eyes without screaming. Without my pupils going to pinpoints, without blood rushing to the surface of my skin.
“Please, Elliot. Just don’t forget me.”
Her voice is growing farther away. Tunnel sound. Loud and bright and bouncing but fading the further you go through it.
No. I don’t want to leave.
But my body betrays me as it so often does. I am awake my eyes are open and he waits there for me. He looks just as tired, if not more so. Me blocking him and him fighting me. So much energy expended from both of us, and for what?
A song plays outside about a rabbit fur coat. Gentle guitar and rhythm. It’s nice.
I’m out of adderall. I built up a tolerance too quickly. He’s here. But sometimes hosts can learn to coexist with their pests. Symbiosis. Heterostasis. All of that. He’s burrowed too deeply to be removed for good.
But mostly I'm a hypocrite
I sing songs about the deficit
We’re both too tired to speak. So I wait. And he does too. The world will crumble and begin anew before we talk again. And in the meantime, I will remember Shayla.
Just like she asked me to.
But when I sell out and leave Omaha, what will I get?
A mansion house and a rabbit fur coat