Chapter Text
When they first met, it was at a funeral for his mother during a cold winter day.
Lan Zhan was only a young boy of five years, watching emotionlessly at the cedar wood box that contained her.
To an outside observer, it was unnerving to see a child of his age when crying is the norm. Inside, it was taking everything from reciting 3000 rules of the Cloud Recess and the Lan Principles to keep him from bawling his eyes out. It is improper after all. Everyone is all stone faced during the rites. From the elders and sect seniors to juniors and relatives. His father…by the gods his father.
He had the eyes of a dead man as he blankly stared at the closed coffin that contained his beloved wife.
Lan Zhan could remember how tightly he was holding his and his older brother’s hands. As if he was worried that they would disappear if he would ever let go. Or rather keeping himself tethered so that he wouldn’t force himself to be buried alongside her.
It was another trait that is both a boon and a curse for the Lan Clan.
For generations, each Lan has fallen in love once, and that partner would become their entire world. It wasn’t that bad to an outsider, loyalty and fidelity are one of the key factors to a relationship. However, when it comes to a Lan, they would have to hide their said partner away from the world, just to keep them near. And that is what happened to his own parents. And the result…well, it was a mixed result of both success and failure.
Growing up as he visited her in her own estate wasn’t so bad. Even when indoctrinated by the clan rules, he still desires to see his mother. He even tries to keep a stoic face even when she teases him. It was only once a month but to Lan Zhan, it was enough.
That is until she had fallen ill.
Then the monthly visits were forbidden.
And next thing he knew…they were here.
Listening to rites to lay his mother to rest as the snow fell all around them.
Everything is silent. And still.
Not a sound was heard.
“I wonder if she’s comfy?” A whispered voice piped up out of nowhere. It reached to his ears like small bells chiming in the still air.
Lan Zhan blinked and immediately turned to see what might be a fairy fallen straight from the Heavenly Realm.
It was a young boy that he had never seen before- possibly the same age as him- silver eyes twinkling as he stared at the casket before him. His long hair, though wild, was tied high up with a ribbon that would be akin to blood. He was smiling- SMILING- at the thought of his mother being comfortable in her casket.
“Wha…what?” was the first thing that he said, though in a low volume that wouldn’t catch any attention from the elders.
What was he talking about?
Now that he thought about it…he doesn’t seem to be part of the clan. Unlike the funeral white, he was dressed in all black. Red accents that peppered here and there on his person. Making him pop out both in the snow and among the grieving clan.
Such disrespect. And yet…somehow it fits.
That is when the boy turned to him, and he could feel heat flushed from his cheeks and all the way up to the very tips of his ears. He could see his whole face now…
“I wonder if she’s comfy in there?” He repeated again. “She must be if it’s all quiet.”
Lan Zhan blinked, staring at him as the snow continued to fall around them.
The sight of his red tinted his chubby cheeks which ignited something within Lan Zhan the more he stared at him with those wide silver eyes. For a moment, he clenched his little mouth so hard that he could feel his baby teeth grinding together. It was an improper habit of his. Most of the time when something displeased him, he would showcase it by biting the hand of the offender hard and go about his merry way. But there were some rare times that he also chews on something that he is fond of.
(His mother regaled the time when he was teething, he would chew on her robe sleeves or her ribbon strands, even her hair).
And it was this moment that he knew where he wanted to sink his teeth into.
No, I couldn’t. He thought to himself. It would be improper.
Yet…deep down, he really, really wanted to.