Work Text:
“S-S-Sir, I have your coffee!” Ethan cried out as he stumbled into Vox’s office, only remembering to keep himself from faceplanting onto the floor because he feared getting blood on his boss’s precious tile.
Ethan may have been a little rumpled from getting hit by a car on the way back from Hellbucks, but no one can ever say that he let a little thing like fractured bones keep him from completing tasks! He didn’t even let a single drop of espresso fall out of the cup! Ethan counted this as one of the few small victories in his never-ending punishment of a life!
Well, he supposed one of the biggest victories was getting to see Vox every day, even if he was hardly ever nice to him. But Ethan didn’t admire Vox because he was kind but because the man had vision. The soaring kind of ambition that you couldn’t help but watch with awe.
Honestly, Ethan had a hard time keeping his knees from buckling whenever he made eye contact with Vox. Melissa called him hopeless, but what does she know? As if she doesn’t spend every precious minute she has outside of work mooning over Velvette’s Sinstagram pics!
“Just put it on the edge of the desk,” Vox said coldly, not even looking up from the floating holographic screens he was reviewing. “ . . . and if you mess up anything in this room, you aren’t going to live long enough to have the chance to run out of the building.”
“O-O-Of course, sir!” Ethan stammered, taking large steps as he made his way towards Vox’s desk. Rivulets of blood dripped down Ethan’s neck and torso like sweat but Ethan kept them trailing too far down by using his free hand to wipe away at the crimson stains.
When the bottom of the coffee cup hit the desktop, Ethan felt the closest he ever came to having a hallelujah moment in hell.
“Thank you, now please leave,” Vox said, still not looking at Ethan.
Ethan should’ve honestly picked up his feet and left. He was going to, especially since there are so many other tasks left to be completed before the end of the day, he really should’ve left, but . . . but–
Vox had just said thank you to him. Coldly and curtly, yes, but it was a thank you!
Oh, if Ethan didn’t know any better, he might’ve thought he was ascending to heaven through the sheer power of ebullient happiness!
“The fuck is wrong with you, are you about to pass out?” Vox yelled, electricity crackling through his screen in his fury. He slammed his hands down onto the desk, almost causing Ethan to jump up in the air out of fright. “If so, I might as well cart your body off to Val and you can star in his next kink film! You won’t even have to wake up, depending on what kind of pervert Val is catering to this week! You want that?”
“N-N-No,” Ethan murmured, wondering if he’s pathetic for thinking Vox’s cruel comment meant he actually thought Ethan was attractive enough to be the centerpiece in one of Val’s films.
Sure, he didn’t want to get in front of Valentino’s camera (the most he ever did for Valentino’s production company was sweep up the after-shoot mess or cart off the stars to the hospital in case of emergencies) but if Vox was watching, then . . .
“Scratch that, no one wants to see your twink ass in a porno, even if it was a snuff film!” Vox spat out. “I’ll just feed you to Shok.wav, if that’s what’s gonna scare you into leaving my fucking office–”
“I’m so sorry, sir, I’m going!” Ethan cried out, spinning on his heel to make his way out the door.
Out of the corner of his eye, Ethan caught a glimpse of Shok.wav’s silhouette looming in his dark, luminescent tank. The sight prompted him to lift his hand up and smile at the creature as he sped out the door.
“Hi, Shocky! Bye, Shocky!” he said, not thinking much of it before remembering fuck, Mister Vox is still here, I just called his attack dog “Shocky” right in front of him!
“Wait,” Vox said sharply, causing Ethan to almost trip over his own feet as he got one step past the office threshold. “What did you just call Shok.wav?”
“I’m s-s-s-sorry, sir, I misspoke,” Ethan said, cringing as he turned around to face Vox’s glowering screen. “I shouldn’t have said such a demeaning thing to your . . . p-p-pet?”
“If it was demeaning, I don’t think Shok.wav got the memo,” Vox said, pointing behind him towards Shok.wav’s tank, where the creature was affectionately tapping its nose against the glass. His multi-eyed gaze was locked directly onto Ethan as he kept booping the walls of his tank. “Tell me why the fuck is he responding so kindly to you calling him Shocky?”
“Uhhhhh, I might’ve . . . talked to him sometimes while I cleaned your office?” Ethan said. “When you weren’t there, of course, sir! He doesn’t like being ignored, so I thought it was best to keep him company while we were alone together! He likes listening to me talk about my day . . . and h-h-how wonderful it is to work for you!”
“You haven’t been harassing him, right?” Vox asked.
“W-W-What, no!” Ethan cried out. If he could afford to be verbally sassy at work, Ethan would’ve pointed out that Shok.wav wouldn’t likely be looking at him with fondness if he had been harassing the shark but he kept his mouth shut because he wasn’t a cocky newcomer, thank you very much!
“Hmmmm,” Vox said, hiding his mouth behind his steepled hands. “I’m surprised Shok.wav was capable of being fond of people outside of myself and the other Vees.”
“Maybe if he had more chances of interacting with more people, Shok.wav would be very popular!” Ethan said, waving at the shark once more.
“Are you accusing me of sheltering him?” Vox shouted, electricity emanating from him so strongly that the lights flickered.
“N-N-No, I think every choice you make regarding Shok.wav is perfect, sir!” Ethan said. “I am sorry if it sounded like I implied otherwise!”
“Good,” Vox said, turning his chair around so he could look up at Shok.wav. A long moment passed before he spoke again. “If you liked sharks, you could’ve told me.”
“W-W-What?” Ethan stammered, not sure if he was hearing anything correctly.
“Val and Velvette almost never let me ramble about sharks and even when they indulge me, they never listen,” Vox murmured, low enough that Ethan could surmise that he didn’t want to be heard.
“Awwww,” Ethan said, not realizing the sound escaped his mouth before it was too late.
Another jolt of electricity flashed across the room.
“Forget I said anything,” Vox said in a low, menacing voice. He didn’t dare to turn his chair around and face Ethan. “If you want the privilege of leaving the building at the end of the day, get the fuck away from me and take advantage of your stupid health insurance and fix your stupid, broken body before I break it even more!”
“Yes, sir, right away, sir!” Ethan chirped, ducking his way out into the hallway, ignoring the searing pain in his limbs as he whipped out his phone to message Melissa in their private group chat (which was probably secretly wire-tapped by Velvette but who cares).
eel boy: i know i JUST told you i got hit by a car on my way back from an errand but i think i’m actually having the BEST DAY ever
eel boy: mister vox gave me a thank you when i gave him his noon coffee! AND we talked a little bit about sharks!!!!
best girl friend in hell: oh my god, not this shit again
best girl friend in hell: you literally once walked in on mister vox balls deep into mister val in his office
best girl friend in hell: AND HE STILL FORCED YOU TO TAKE MEETING NOTES FOR HIM WHILE HE FUCKED VAL RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU
eel boy: yeah but like
eel boy: that was the most naked i had ever seen him soooooooo
eel boy: small victories!
best girl friend in hell: you’re disgusting
best girl friend in hell: and hopeless
eel boy: well, you’re just jealous because i’ve been given more affection by mister vox than you ever received from miss velvette and you literally had a drunk hook-up with her two months ago! so who’s the hopeless one now???????
best girl friend in hell: CUNT
eel boy: BITCH
best girl friend in hell: STILL ON FOR CLUBBING AT ZEEZI’S NEXT FRIDAY?
eel boy: FUCK YEAH, IT’S THE ONLY NIGHT OFF WE’VE HAD IN A DOZEN YEARS, SEE YOU THERE!