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“Jack, are you and my brother still married?” Lacie called over the chatter of clients as she unceremoniously entered Jack's café.
It was a nice place that he had opened about five years ago, with the money he had gotten from his first divorce with Oswald—because her brother had stubbornly refused to get a prenup. Beginner’s mistake, Jack had later called it during the renewal of his vows. Oswald had laughed it off, the lovestruck glint in his eyes making him look even more pitiable than usual. Lacie said nothing of it, back then: it was fine for him to feel sappy on the day of his remarriage, even if it was a near exact repeat of his first wedding.
Same guests, same suit, same husband. Down to the same divorce attorney, barely six months later, again…!
Then, the cycle kept on repeating—every year or so, a wedding announcement in her mailbox, and without fail, a few months later, a sullen Oswald with suitcases at her doorstep, always struck dumb that Jack could have once more filed for divorce behind his back. And the moment he’d be done venting out his indignation, he’d be rehearsing his proposal, ready to go again the moment Jack would reappear, as if nothing happened.
“Lacie! Hallo!” Jack beamed from behind the counter, jumping between busy tables to join Lacie.
Soon, Jack placed an espresso and scones in front of Lacie, then he sat across from her, his own cup of tea in hand.
“We’re out of tatin… sorry,” he spoke meekly before taking a sip, his face immediately scrunching up into a grimace—
Why was he drinking Oswald’s disgusting blend?!
Lacie shook her head and sighed, biting into a scone without bothering to butter it up. “That’s alright,” she reassured mid-chew. Jack’s baking indeed never disappointed. “Are you my in-law today?”
Jack scoffed, proudly displaying his left hand. The golden band was snug around his ring finger—and it had been, what? Over nine months, at least!
“Still? I’m impressed.”
“Me too,” Jack chuckled sarcastically, “I decided that I want to see through our anniversary, this time. So, I’m behaving… but your brother is making it very hard, dear Lacie.”
Her eyebrows involuntarily arched, a clear sign of disbelief—Oswald was not the troublemaker of this relationship.
Jack huffed in response. “It’s not even my fault—don’t look at me like that—I swear! He’s always on a loop about his thesis, you know how he gets… It’s as if I don’t exist, sometimes. I’m almost starting to think that I have never been the problem—” he gracefully ignored Lacie’s dramatic eyeroll and continued, “maybe Oswald just does not like me at all!”
Lacie laughed. And then, she realised that Jack was, in fact, serious.
“Jack. You’ve divorced him four times and he’s not once failed to come back to you.”
“Five times, actually—but it's just because I am the only person he talks to,” he snapped.
“True,” Lacie sighed in response. “But he likes it that way. He likes you. That has never been the problem—meanwhile I’m still not sure you even like him!”
Jack shook his head. “He’s alright,” he mumbled, a hint of pink rising to his freckled cheeks.
Uh.
That was… new.
Maybe a trick of the light?
After all, Jack was not capable of loving anyone. Of course it had been adorable to find the two making out like teenagers on the first Christmas ball they attended together, and she was content to see Oswald so comfortable with another. If a college fling could bring him such happiness, her opinion on Jack mattered little. However, entertainment quickly morphed into concern upon the realisation that this relationship had been very serious—to Oswald, at least.
Jack was not a person anyone should be settling down with, so Lacie thought her brother may have gotten the wrong idea about him—she had seen first-hand how cunning the blond was when he wanted to toy with something, or rather, someone.
Yet, forlorn laughter had been Oswald’s sole response to her worry and Lacie realised, with horror, that he had known exactly what he was walking into. If he acted that way not because he hoped for Jack to share his feelings, but because he despaired that he would lose him otherwise, that would be Oswald’s own mistake to make. Time and time again…
Her brother was a concerning man.
“Trust me Jack, if there’s one person on this planet that can’t help but put up with you, it is Oswald,” Lacie lamented.
“I know,” Jack said softly, and this time Lacie was sure of it: he was blushing. How peculiar. “That’s why I’m trying not to mess things up, this time—really. He’s just not seeing my efforts…”
“You know he’s in the last months of his PhD, so give him some grace, Jack! You have to keep in mind that this project has lasted longer than any of your marriages. It’s important to him.”
“That’s precisely the issue!” Jack dramatically wailed. “He cares about this paper more than he cares about me.”
“If only,” Lacie sneered. “Anyhow, he’s almost done with it. It’s a matter of what, two months before you finally get all his attention again?”
“Three, Lacie, three!” Jack deplored. “Three whole months… he’s defending in late December.”
Lacie brushed off the childish woes. “We should start to plan a small celebration for it, since you already know the date—it would mean a lot to my brother if you were involved. Just don’t find a way to make it all about yourself, will you?”
“I wouldn’t dare,” Jack shook his head in earnest, dramatically raising his hands up in the air. “Although I wouldn’t count too much on Oswald wanting me around for it.”
“What, do you not think you’ll still be married, by then?” Lacie laughed.
Jack did not. On the contrary, his features hardened. He only stared towards the door, as if Oswald would come in to answer the question for him.
“Who knows,” he said, strangely honest, before he focused back on Lacie and faked a laugh. “But with how cold he’s been acting towards me, despite all my efforts, I’m expecting to be served divorce papers any time…”
Lacie did not pry. Even if Jack had been truly concerned—which she doubted—that wasn’t her problem if Oswald wanted a divorce… not that she believed that splitting once more would prevent them from ending up together again.
It was sort of romantic, in its own miserable way.
Jack was the first to get up once Lacie finished her drink. “I think I’ll go home earlier than usual, tonight.”
“And kick out all of your clients?” Lacie asked, amused. “You already charge them so much, the least you can do is to close on time. If you’re so impatient to see my brother, just ring him and tell him to pass by—you know he’s always waiting on it.”
“No. He’d misinterpret it, I’m sure…” Jack bemoaned, before suddenly losing composure: his eyes caught the silhouette of his husband at the door.
“Oh, hi Lacie, I didn’t know you’d be here,” Oswald greeted his sister as he wiped his feet on the doormat, gently closing the door behind him. “Jack,” he then acknowledged his partner.
“Why are you here…?” Jack prompted, hand on his hips and his chin held high.
The sudden coldness of Jack’s behaviour made Lacie feel as if she had hallucinated his ardent pleas for attention.
Oswald sheepishly scratched the back of his head. “Uh… Thesis… stuff.”
This was such a painfully obvious lie that Lacie couldn’t help but cringe—yet Jack frowned as if he were hurt. He searched for Lacie’s gaze.
See!? Jack mouthed once their eyes crossed.
Lacie could only pinch the bridge of her nose and breeze past the pair as she hurried towards the exit—she did not want to witness any of this, let alone be made to play a role in it.
On her way out, she bumped into her brother so he’d stumble, without any resistance, towards Jack. Catching himself by grabbing the blond's shoulders, it'd be easily mistaken for a hug.
And that was a total accident on Lacie’s part, of course.
In the months that followed, Lacie was attentive to the way Jack’s gaze softened around Oswald, when he thought no one was looking, painting his face in a kind, enamoured expression. It looked almost naive, as if he had recently gotten some sort of crush on the guy—his own husband—and it was… jarring, to say the least. Lacie sometimes felt as if she was seeing someone else entirely, peeking into a secret she doubted even her brother knew about.
But she wouldn’t say a word of it to Oswald—it was for him to notice, or for Jack to confess. As long as no divorce was being planned, this was none of her business, really.
So she didn’t think much of the ‘Closed for renovations’ sign that hung on the door of Jack’s cafe, one morning in early December, nor the way both he and Oswald seemed to have gone AWOL. If Lacie was remembering correctly, her brother should have recently submitted his thesis’ manuscript—maybe Jack had planned for them to elope right after? That was a little rude of him to not warn Lacie about it first, but as long as he made sure Oswald would be having a good time and didn’t give her trouble over it…
Still, two whole weeks without a sign of life from both men, especially as Oswald’s defence was drawing near…! Lacie worried. She wouldn’t put it past Jack to have brought Oswald abroad, lost phones and passports along the way, leaving them stranded until she’d have to fetch them, or something of the sort.
Yet, when she finally rang her brother’s cell, he answered immediately, speaking as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.
“Where have you even been?!” Lacie finally asked. “Your flat is empty, Jack’s café is closed, none of you even texted me—and you mean to tell me you’ve been in town the whole time?”
A long, static silence. “I’m… at a hotel.”
Lacie passed a hand over her face. “Is Jack forcing you to rest before your defence? Are you playing along as his hostage?”
“No,” Oswald sighed, unamused.
“What’s the matter then, brother?”
“We… I mean, I…” Another endless silence. “Divorce—again, I know—”
“What?!” Lacie frowned. She had to have misheard.
“We’re divorcing,” he mumbled. “B-but it’s my choice, this time. I’m okay—just… I needed to make up for my own mistakes. To focus on the right things, for once…”
Lacie’s mouth fell agape.
Well, if it was her brother’s choice… she knew it was probably for the best for Oswald to stay apart from Jack. And yet…! This sat wrong with her. Maybe because it felt even more pointless than usual, maybe because her brother’s turn to snap came right at the time where he finally might have a chance to get through Jack—
“Why would you do that?!”
She could almost hear her brother wince through the phone.
“I, uh… want to stop chasing after Jack,” he said, like a liar.
“And the real reason, Oswald?”
Silence, again, followed by a shaky exhale. “He… he acted serious about us—I couldn’t believe it, Lacie. I know he’s playing with me, but that was taking it way too far. I won’t allow him to confess… f-feelings he does not have.”
Lacie hoped to have misunderstood…
“Oswald… Did Jack say he loves you?”
“Yes,” her brother inhaled sharply. “But you know as well as I do that it’s not—”
“And you said nothing in response? Just asked for divorce?!”
“Well, l-look,” he muttered, before sighing. “Yes—but if it was true he’d have picked a fight, o-or jumped to propose again, like I’ve always done in the past! Instead he just acted completely detached and went along, and that’s not at all how a man who’s in love ought to act—”
Right, Lacie thought, covering her face with her hands, my brother can’t think out of his box.
Lacie only ended up texting Jack to make sure that he had gone along with their plans for the celebration of Oswald's defence. She was a bit worried for him, of course—it was extremely uncharacteristic for Jack to go for days without contacting her, let alone weeks—but the blond was resilient. He'd bounce back. Maybe he already had, for all Lacie knew! Regardless, Lacie expected him to follow through with the plans they had made.
So she opened her DMs with Jack, racked her brain for a quarter of an hour to find a way to open the conversation—Jack always texted first, after all. Lacie mindlessly typed a small heartfelt paragraph. Reread it. Deleted it all—it felt too much like a mix of concern and noisiness.
heard you got divorced back. lol. you're still covering catering?
Slightly better, Lacie thought. Then, hit send.
Almost immediately, Jack opened her text—there he is!
But, then, for the first time ever, Jack did the most unimaginable thing, one Lacie would never have believed him capable of: he left her on read.
Lacie refreshed the conversation several times throughout the day—nothing. She couldn’t tell whether she should be offended or afraid for Jack's safety. Maybe the “lol” was too much…?
Finally, in the middle of the night, Jack's name popped on her screen.
Catering AND venue ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧
Lacie, who had not stayed awake waiting for Jack's answer, raised her eyebrows.
Her phone pinged again. This time, Jack's message contained two attachements—receipts for, indeed, catering and venue. Was Jack planning something weird?!
There isn’t any divorce happening, though (✿◠ᴗ◠)
Ah, that was it…
If her brother had walked back on his decision already, then it made sense, Lacie supposed, huffing. It was good that things went back to normal so quickly…!
Except they had not.
That much, Lacie could tell by the face Oswald made when, during the tramway ride to his university, she asked why Jack wasn’t accompanying him to his defence—as if she had elbowed him right in the gut. Which she couldn’t be sure that she hadn’t, given how crowded the train was, but…
“Lacie,” Oswald mumbled sternly, “you know why Jack isn't here today.”
“Didn’t you call off the divorce…?’
Oswald frowned. “Of course not. I told you—I want to stop chasing after Jack. A-and he’s not contacted me once, anyway.”
“Oh.”
Lacie's brain cogs turned at an alarming speed. Of course she had already called the venue and the caterer to confirm Jack’s order, just in case, but it had only proved that everything Jack planned was fully legit.
Which was to say that none of this made any damned sense, but Lacie wouldn’t speak a word of it to her brother so as to not trouble him right before his defence.
She tried to focus on it, too, from where she sat, in the back of the small room, watching Oswald present four years of hard work to his director, jury and colleagues. Yet, no matter how proud she felt in that moment, she couldn't chase away the worry that Jack would most probably do something impervisible today and that it would very certainly ruin Oswald’s mood. If she wanted, at least a little, for her brother to consider Jack's feelings before rejecting their existence and making himself miserable, Lacie had to be sure that Jack wouldn't mess everything up.
That would be her mission, she decided—Oswald would not lose the warm smile he'd been wearing since he had been officially named a Doctor under the applause of his peers.
First, she'd take care of Oswald’s phone, grabbing it from his pocket when she hugged him—so that, even if Jack were to try to text him, Oswald wouldn’t see it. Second, she’d catch her brother's noisy thesis director, Levi, to make sure that he hadn't been made complicit with any scheme of Jack's. Third, she'd wait for Oswald to be caught in one of Rufus’ long-winded questions to slip away so as to check that Jack didn't do anything fishy with the venue.
Only once every step was cleared did Lacie allow herself to enjoy the small event at her brother's side.
And only once she had started to relax did Jack strike, in the form of a little ringbox bought by the waiter, along a Burgundian grand cru—the latter doubtlessly an olive branch extended towards her, which she just might have accepted, had she not seen her brother’s face fall completely when he opened the ringbox, quickly putting it aside.
“Oohoh, gifts from the husband?” Levi inquired, ignoring the way Lacie kicked his shin from under the table.
Oswald grimaced, giving the older man an awkward mix between a nod and a shake of his head.
The hot lab tech, Charlotte, looked up towards Oswald, pouting cutely.
“Weren’t you two—”
“Yes. We are,” Oswald sternly opined, earning curious gazes from several people around the table.
“You’re… getting married again? With Jack?” Another lab tech seemed to worry.
“They’re currently married already, Fang,” Levi interjected. “You should know this! It’s their longest streak yet!”
“Sorry—I fail to keep track…”
“I don’t blame you,” Oswald sighed tiredly. “Anyhow, we… are in the middle of procedures, at the moment… I think it’s final, this time. There’s no point in keeping track.”
Levi loudly shrieked, leaving no chance to change the topic. “These are not the gifts of a man who has surrendered, trust that old geezer!”
Oswald gave a derisive chuckle in response, sliding the ringbox over to the professor.
“He’s just putting on a show to send back his own wedding band. That’s all it is,” Oswald murmured sadly.
It really, really, did not align with anything Lacie witnessed Jack do or say, but in this instant she felt too upset to care to understand the blond’s motives.
“What a scumbag!” Charlotte exclaimed, and everyone nodded in agreement.
Perhaps as a compassionate attempt to bring up Oswald’s mood again, the subject was promptly dropped and avoided—even by Levi—as the celebration went on. Lacie noticed the way Oswald’s eyes kept flicking towards the ringbox. Still, he was managing to nod along in conversations and give half-smiles.
Lacie should have known that Jack wouldn’t back down until he’d gotten the killing blow—but when the waiter arrived to bring pastries, Lacie did not expect the big state-stamped envelope that he carried along.
No one had, actually: the small group had fallen completely silent, save for the hushed commentary of lab technicians.
(“Divorce papers?! Today, of all days?!” )
Lacie boiled over and snatched the documents from the young man’s hands. It was a testament of her poise that she didn’t immediately rip them in half.
“Will there be anything else, or is this the last one of Jack’s surprises?” Lacie smiled with bared teeth.
“I’m also supposed to tell you that Jack is outside the building. He’s asking for Oswald to come see him after he’ll have read the contents of the envelope,” the man shrugged, eager to leave the room.
Oswald exhaled loudly, mumbling something before he thanked the waiter, then abruptly got up.
“You’re not going, are you…?” Lacie gasped.
Oswald shook his head.
“Jack wants to see me, Lacie,” he spoke back, calmly, as if that answered her question.
She sighed in disapproval. “Do you want to see him…? Right now?”
“No. That’s why I asked for divorce,” Oswald said, taking a step towards the exit nonetheless. “Excuse me everyone, I… will be back, shortly,” he hurriedly gibbered before rushing away.
“I’ll go with him!” Levi spoke, ready to follow, but Lacie stopped him before he could get up.
“They’ll be fine without you. Your supervision duties stopped a few hours ago, by the way,” Lacie shook her head.
The older man guffawed. “Ah, you’re mistaken, Lacie… I just would love to witness that misunderstanding with my own two eyes.”
Misunderstanding? Lacie frowned.
“You haven’t read the address of the sender, have you?” Levi smiled widely, pointing at the envelope that Lacie was holding. “That’s not from the court—it’s from an adoption center.”
One quick glance, and Lacie couldn’t deny that Levi was telling the truth, plain and simple.
Lacie didn’t question why, or even less how Jack did that. She owned four identical black cats, four of which Jack and her brother got after a marriage and abandoned after a break up—how the hell did the blond manage to convince a service worker that they could adopt a whole child?!
She bolted away from the table, and ran after her brother.
When she arrived on the scene, Lacie found the pair sitting on a low wall, her brother leaning against the freckled hand that petted his hair, and Jack smiling softly, both a bit teary eyed—which would have been good, really, had an unplanned adoption not been at the core of their reconciliation…!
“Lacie!” Jack waved enthusiastically right as he noticed her. “I missed you Lacie!!! Hiya!”
She stood with folded arms in front of the men, and raised an eyebrow, awaiting for an explanation.
“We're staying married~” Jack sang excitedly, clinging onto Oswalds's shoulders.
Lacie cringed. “Because you’re adopting a child, I've heard, yes. Seriously, Jack?”
“Children,” Jack corrected, beaming. “It'll probably take some time before we can take them home, but the lady I've been talking with thought we'd be a great match for a pair of adorable brothers! Have you not read the letter? Everything is explained in it, but I have pics on my phone, if you want. They're sooo cute—right, Oswald?”
“They are,” the raven-haired man nodded solemnly, leaning closer to Jack. “I… love them a lot, already. Gilbert, especially…”
Jack cooed, kissing the top of his head.
And Lacie rolled her eyes extremely hard.
“So, what…? You stay married, adopt kids, and everything is solved? You even get two so that, the next time you divorce, you can each keep one as a souvenir?”
“We're never getting divorced again,” they spoke in unison.
“Realistic,” Lacie's voice dripped in sarcasm.
“It is. By doing this for us, Jack proved that he was… very serious. More than I ever hoped for,” Oswald smiled. “If everything he's said is true, then it will all work out. I... want to believe him.”
They had the decency of leaving it at that instead of kissing here and there, as they clearly would be doing had Lacie not been standing in front of them. She pinched the bridge of her nose.
“He just handed back his wedding ring, in front of an audience, at that.”
“That’s not what happened!” Jack grumbled. “My plan was to propose back with Oswald's own ring, since he hates change, but I couldn’t find it anywhere—not in our flat, not in any pawn shop, nowhere! So I had no choice but to use my own, since it looks the same, and hope that he’d understand the intent, the symbolism, all that… But I should have known he'd take everything to the letter and assume the worst from me, as always…!”
Before Lacie could comment, Jack dramatically gasped, his hands fondling Oswald's.
“You’re not even wearing your ring! You didn’t throw it out, did you?”
“Of course I'm not wearing it. We were divorcing,” Oswald mumbled.
“I don’t believe you. It has to be on you, somewhere…”
Jack's hands dug into Oswald’s pockets, roamed up his torso, and right as Lacie was about to ask Jack to stop groping her brother, the blond triumphantly yelped.
“You’re not one to wear necklaces,” Jack smugly commented, toying with the thin chain that hung around the back of Oswald's neck—one Lacie hadn't even noticed. “Have you kept the ring here all this time? Over your heart?”
“D-don't be ridiculous…”
“So, if I yank that up, you confirm I won’t find your wedding band on it?”
“I can't confirm—”
The blond laughed like church bells. As if he couldn’t help it anymore, Jack pressed his lips against Oswald’s.
“Gross,” Lacie loudly commented, just to remind them that she was still here.
“Sorry,” Jack maliciously giggled. “It's just—I think I really managed to fall in love with your brother, Lacie! Just as you've always wanted! Can you believe it?!”
Not quite, she didn’t say—was it really so unbelievable? Maybe her brother had finally gotten through him. Maybe. Plus, seeing Oswald happy, Lacie didn’t want to doubt it too much...
She half-heartedly shrugged instead. “I still think there are better ways to prove your commitment than a surprise adoption of several kids…?”
Jack hummed, as if he genuinely considered her words. “Would adopting a dog be enough…?”
“I mean… You don’t have to adopt anything, but—sure. I guess a dog would be better than two kids.”
“If you say so, then—”
“But I liked the kids, Jack…” Oswald interjected.
“Ah,” Jack sighed, pouting towards Lacie. “If he likes the kids then we have no choice but to get them, right?”
Lacie blinked in disbelief. “I… am not answering that. Figure yourselves out—I’ll get back inside.”
If Jack could do half of what he did and still get Oswald to want to raise children with him, then why wouldn't she have her chance at asking the hot lab tech for her number…
“Please thank everyone for coming, Lacie,” Oswald asked, when Lacie reached the door of the building.
“You won’t be coming back? It’s your celebration, you know.”
“I’d rather stay with Jack,” he said, snuggling against the blond.
“And I don’t think I'm very welcomed amongst his peers,” Jack added, chuckling.
“I wonder why,” Lacie rolled her eyes.
“Maybe if everyone sees how good Jack is with children, once we'll get Gilbert and Vincent home, they'll change their minds…” her brother earnestly considered.
Upon hearing this, Lacie swore to never feel pity about Oswald’s love life ever again—Jack was certainly something, but her brother managed to be worse, in all the most hopeless ways. They were just about perfect for each other, a true match made in hell.
Thankfully, being an aunt didn’t sound so bad…!