Work Text:
ANCHOR 1:
Good evening. This is NYBC News at 6. We begin tonight with a Crime Watch Update. A manhunt is underway after a violent car robbery in Lower Manhattan earlier this evening.
ANCHOR 2:
That’s right, Lana. Police say the incident occurred around 5:40 PM near Broome Street and Lafayette, when a woman forcibly took a vehicle from its owner and fled. The suspect’s identity remains unknown at this hour.
ANCHOR 1:
Authorities tell us the victim, a 32-year-old man, sustained minor injuries and is expected to be okay. Surveillance footage is being reviewed as officers widen their search across the city.
ANCHOR 2:
For the latest, we go live to our field reporter on the scene. Chloe?
[CUT TO FIELD REPORTER ON LOCATION]
Field Reporter:
Clark, Lana. Police remain stationed here at the intersection where the robbery took place. Behind me, you can still see officers canvassing nearby shops and apartment buildings for additional witnesses.
According to investigators, the suspect approached the victim while he was unloading items from the trunk of his red Ferrari. The woman allegedly appeared beside him out of nowhere, punched him in the stomach, kicked him when he fell, then jumped into the vehicle and sped east toward the Manhattan Bridge.
Witnesses describe the suspect only as a woman in dark clothing, a hoodie and cap, approximately five-foot-three. The victim said he only saw her for a second before getting knocked flat, so he doesn’t remember much. Police caution that the description is too vague for a formal alert at this time. Officers are expected to remain on scene for several more hours, as nearby security cameras were reportedly not functioning.
[CUT TO B-ROLL — POLICE TAPE, PATROL CARS, OFFICERS AT STOREFRONTS]
Field Reporter (V.O.):
The victim told officers his car is equipped with an internal GPS system, but officials say the tracker isn’t showing any signal, the suspect may have disabled it. Police have alerted surrounding departments to keep an eye out for the stolen red Ferrari and its plates. Meanwhile, the NYPD is urging anyone with information to contact Crime Stoppers.
[CUT BACK TO LIVE]
Field Reporter:
And in the latest development, a witness has come forward. She’s already provided police a description, and investigators are currently working using her statement to create a suspect sketch. Let’s speak with her now.
The reporter turns to the only witness.
Field Reporter:
Can you walk us through what you saw?
A tall woman in a leather jacket, long wavy brown hair, absolutely no camera shyness, looks straight at the lens and answers,
Witness:
“Sure. I was just out for a walk, enjoying my day. That’s when I saw this woman — incredibly smooth, very efficient — take down a man and steal his car. Very impressive form. I was really close. Saw the whole thing. And then— I mean, I’m just a girl. I got scared and ran home. But when I saw the news, I rushed back to help the police.”
Field Reporter:
“You were really brave. Can you describe the suspect’s appearance for us?”
Witness:
“Oh, absolutely. Stunning jawline. Strong, capable — someone who can fight and also read medical journals just to kill time, you know? Very athletic. Very responsible. Very gentle. Very cute. Very kissable lips. And definitely a hot single wom— wait, no, she’s not single.”
Then she winks directly into the lens.
The reporter stares at her for a full beat, unsure whether the woman’s flirting with the camera or with the suspect.
Witness:
“I’m just saying. She’s got an incredibly aesthetic look. Definitely already taken, I’d bet. Also she seemed stressed. Like she hasn’t eaten a proper meal all week.”
The reporter clears her throat. New York is full of eccentrics; this isn’t even top ten compared to Florida.
Field Reporter:
…Err, right. Did you see whether she was armed, or hear anything she said before taking the vehicle?
Witness:
“She said ‘move.’ Very politely. In her own way.” she pauses, thoughtful, “Oh, and I heard the hot suspect say something to the victim while kicking him. Something like, ‘Aren’t you the big man at home? Try hitting someone who hits back, fight me. Hitting your wife and kid isn’t so impressive now, is it?’”
The witness shrugs innocently,
“I have no idea what she meant. But maybe you guys should check the victim’s background.”
The reporter makes a mental note.
Possible scandal incoming, audiences love those.
Field Reporter:
Did she appear to be acting alone, or was anyone assisting her?
The woman just smiles sweetly,
“Sorry, sweetheart. I gotta run. I have a date with my girlfriend tonight.”
And she walks away.
Field Reporter:
…Well. That’s the latest from here. Back to you in the studio.
[CUT BACK TO STUDIO]
ANCHOR 1:
Thank you, Chloe. Now, polices have just released a sketch of the suspect.
At the same time, the screen displayed the suspect’s sketch.
The sketch is…
Atrocious.
Childlike.
The anchors stayed calm.
They are professionals.
They’ve seen bad sketches before.
It’s part of the job.
But here’s the thing: the witness had described the suspect as a stunning, hot woman.
But this sketch…
Thick caterpillar eyebrows, crossed eyes, big nose, large lips with four visible teeth, and bald.
Even ignoring the sketch’s absolute failure, there was… nothing about this drawing that suggested good looks.
Nothing, at all.
Both anchors freeze for several seconds, stunned.
Either by the sketch itself, or by the witness’s very unusual taste.
ANCHOR 2:
…Stay with us. More news after the break.
“Hey, Shaw. You catch the news?”
Shaw hears Reese’s voice the moment she steps inside.
“What? What news?”
Some people shouldn’t smile.
They look better not smiling, Reese was definitely one of them.
Whenever he does, Shaw knew nothing good was coming.
He presses play on his phone.
Shaw watches the entire segment in silence.
Reese unable to resist, he adds,
“People online are calling you… the Bald Cyclops now.”
“…I’m. Going. To. End. Her. Where is Root?!”
Meanwhile, the witness was cooking steak in her apartment, watching it sizzle in the pan.
Oh, she knew her little girlfriend would be furious when she got home.
But first, dinner.
After that… well, there were other plans waiting.
After all, nothing better than a little angry activity.