Work Text:
Sirius Orion Black was meant to be the heir. And he would be. No matter how his mother threatened to strip him of his title, Sirius knew he couldn't allow it.
When his brothers were born, it took one look at them to know he had to throw away any and all hopes of freedom, even if he hadn't thought about those yet.
Hydrus was screaming and crying in their mother's arms, having come out first. He was kicking. And when Sirius wrapped him in a hug, staring with wide blue-grey eyes down at the angry bundle as he finally settled, nuzzling against his chest, something clicked. Then Regulus came next, and he was calm, quiet. Holding with his tiny fingers onto Sirius' still tiny hands. Sirius was still a baby himself, barely able to stand. His mother looked over at her three sons with a disgusted expression on her face, demanding she get as far away from them as possible.
That was one of his earliest memories.
The two twins grew up, and Sirius found himself being more of a parent to them than either of his parents. Orion was cold and stayed away. Regulus reminded Sirius of their father, in that sense. Except when he'd silently cry after a punishment from their mother. That only reminded Sirius that he could not, under any circumstances, force his two little brothers to shoulder the responsibilities this family demanded of them. Sirius would have to be Lord Black. He knew that. He knew, but Merlin did he dread it.
Hydrus, however, was a strange creature indeed. It seemed Regulus felt deeply and Hydrus expressed loudly on his behalf. He would burn their mother's hand when she tried to hit them, simply by glaring at her for daring to hurt his brothers. Sirius was secretly proud, yet still absolutely terrified for him. He found himself taking their punishments more times than he could count, but he didn't want to get praise or anything of the sort for it. He just wanted to keep his brothers out of danger.
"I'll kill her," Hydrus grumbled one evening when he was nine. Sirius blinked over at him, trying to understand the situation as Hydrus kept on kicking the various fancy furniture. Really, it was a worldly achievement, how one small child held so much unbridled rage.
"He's annoyed with Bella," Regulus translated, not even looking up from his book. Despite being fraternal twins, they still had some weird twin bond that Sirius could never understand. Sometimes he felt left out. Other times, he just felt concerned.
"That-- Ugh!" Hydrus turned back around and sat on the floor, pouting and brushing his hands through his hair. He wouldn't allow anyone to cut it, at most only a small trim for its health. Walburga had tried, and was met with a manic grin and black wavy hair so long it ran up and down the stairs.
"Bellatrix made fun of him for keeping his hair long," Regulus explained, and with a sigh closed his book, "Again."
"At least my hair doesn't look like a nest," Hydrus grumbled, then looked down at his hands. Sirius knew that look. No matter how much Hydrus was angry, Sirius knew that it was all an act. His default way of communication his emotions. This, he didn't need Regulus to translate for him. Sirius sat down next to him, and wrapped his arms around him, with Regulus watching the two with an assessing gaze.
"You need to stop angering her if you want her to stop bullying you," Regulus explained, and Hydrus threw him a glare, but both of his brothers caught the tears glistening in his eyes.
"She can bully me, I don't care," Hydrus mumbled, "Mother beats us enough for it not to mean anything anymore. But making fun of my hair is too far."
Sirius nodded, a strange feeling settling in his stomach. Walburga did beat them enough for it to not matter, didn't she? Though arguably, Hydrus beat her back enough times.
Regulus dropped to his twin's side, huddling with his brothers. Sirius smiled over at him, and Regulus rolled his eyes.
"You two are always so dramatic. It's just hair. You grow it back every time mother tries to cut it, anyway."
"Easy for you to say, you heartless, pompous--"
"I'm heartless? You burned mother's hand because she was trying to straighten your clothes the other day."
"My clothes were perfectly fine, thank you very much."
Sirius leaned back, smiling as the twins began their endless banter. Regulus always cared little for what others thought of him, but couldn't handle physical pain. Hydrus, however, was his opposite in every sense. He faced pain as if it was a gentle caress, or a reason for him to finally let out the endless rage bottling up inside of him like an aged champagne bottle, but any slight insult to what he truly mattered and he was broken.
And Sirius couldn't allow himself to feel pain from either of those things. He had to be numb to both hexes and words alike. He had to be, because he would be Lord Black one day. That meant his brothers needed to be safe. Sirius couldn't afford for either of them to even be considered for the title. He had to be strong and show that he was the only possible candidate for the title. He had to protect his brothers. He had to.
When Sirius got sorted into Gryffindor, he felt dread. Or, at least, that's what he told himself. He'd disappointed his brothers, his parents. His brothers were in danger, even. He half wanted to turn to the hat and tell it got it wrong. He couldn't possibly belong in Gryffindor. He needed to be a Slytherin, so he can be Lord Black, so he can protect his brothers. Wasn't that ambitious enough for Slytherin? What had he missed?
He sat down at the Gryffindor table, dazed. He looked over at the boy he'd sat down with on the train-- James Potter. He smiled. Couldn't he see how grave this was? How much he'd just ruined his chances of protecting his family?
But still there was a part of Sirius that whispered something he couldn't allow himself to indulge. That this was his card. That he could take his brothers away, bring them to freedom, and none of them needed to suffer House Black any longer.
Sirius knew those were stupid dreams. Still, when he fell asleep in his new Gryffindor dorm, draped in red and gold on every surface, he dreamt of him and his brothers running around in a field. Free.
That Christmas was the worst he'd experienced so far. Regulus didn't know what to make of him, and Hydrus rolled his eyes in his twin's direction and explained to Sirius that Regulus didn't know what to make of everything he'd found out. They'd already realised how much Sirius had taken for them. They were faced with their mother's breakdown of Sirius getting into Gryffindor first hand, and Regulus has been shaken by it ever since. Walburga had hexed them silly, forbidden them from healing, then burst into tears and forced them to promise her they would be Slytherins, never Gryffindors. That they wouldn't bring shame upon House Black. Whatever her breakdown had stopped her from doing to them next, she did to Sirius.
He was limping on the train back to Hogwarts, but a new feeling settled into his gut. Regulus had cried in his arms the night beforehand, begging and asking Sirius why? Over and over again. James, alongside their dormmates-- Remus and Peter-- were visibly worried about him. They attempted to get him to the infirmary, and Sirius shouted at them for it.
"I can't!" Sirius whimpered at the pain shooting through his back, and it was Remus that then approached him, slowly as if talking to a wild cat.
"Sirius, you're hurt," Remus explained slowly.
"So? I can't heal it. I can't. You don't understand-- None of you will ever understand!" Sirius shouted, and ran off before they could say anything else.
Sirius had failed his brothers already. He knew that. Even if he did get it healed, his brothers would still be faced with pain. But maybe letting the wounds bleed a little longer would help his brothers forgive him for not being there. For not being a Slytherin.
When second year started, Sirius knew that his stupid hopes of running away were exactly that-- stupid.
His twin brothers had been surprisingly quiet all summer. Regulus spoke more than Hydrus, who had a haunted look on his face, his hair cut short for the first time. It didn't suit him. It was like his face had grown around his long hair, and he looked so different it was breaking Sirius' heart.
It was only the night after their Hogwarts letters arrived that the boys finally began to speak.
Regulus let out heart wrenching sobs, apologising to Sirius for making noise, and Sirius held onto his little brother, soothing him and hoping Walburga couldn't hear. He whispered soothing reassurances, that no matter what house he got into, he would still be his brother. Regulus was trembling in his arms when he noticed that Hydrus was staring blankly at them.
"Come here," Sirius whispered to Hydrus. And Hydrus' eyes welled up with tears that did not belong there, and he fell into his arms, his hair growing longer with every tear as if this relief was what he needed. The three brothers sat huddled together, and when Walburga saw Hydrus' hair at breakfast, she merely looked away, despite all three of her children tensing. Some other punishment would surely come. It would be brought up some other time, when Hydrus or Sirius or Regulus do something wrong. They were one and the same to her. Sirius' failing at getting into Slytherin was the same as all of her sons being worthless.
Sirius sat with his brothers on the train. He ignored James' pout, because this could be the last time he saw his brothers in a while. And he wanted to enjoy every damn minute with the twins as he possibly could.
Then all hell broke loose. James opened the door, grinned at Sirius, and asked to be introduced to his brothers as if it was the simplest thing in the world. Sirius glanced at the twins. Hydrus found the whole ordeal amusing, though there was a strangely annoyed glint in his eyes. He was clearly keeping the urge to blow up in check for Sirius' sake. And Regulus... he looked slightly murderous. A rather adorable expression on an eleven-year-old child's face, but murderous nonetheless.
"James, this is Hydrus," Sirius motioned to his long-haired brothers, who's pissed off smile widened, his gaze not moving from James, "And Regulus," Sirius continued, and James seemed positively oblivious to the death glare Regulus was throwing his way.
"It's so cool to meet Sirius' brothers! He always talks about you two, you know. It's like he's your mother or something," James attempted a laugh.
"I am happy to hear that, Mr. Potter. Now, if you'll excuse us, this is meant to be a family discussion," Hydrus managed out, and Regulus leaned back, lifting his chin without taking his eyes off James.
Fortunately, James wasn't that obtuse. He nodded, threw Sirius a promise to see him later, and fled the compartment.
"I've never seen you have that much self control," Sirius mumbled, and Hydrus gave him a smile full of faux-innocence.
"Does he always assume everyone wants to be around him? Rather rude, if you ask me," Regulus mumbled, and Hydrus agreed with a hum.
"He was trying to be friendly, and you two made him run out with his tail between his legs. Do you think that's something to be proud of?" Sirius spat before he could think, and immediately regretted it. He'd had the occasional spat with his brothers before, but this felt different. This felt like a betrayal.
"Oh," Regulus mumbled, looking away. Hydrus scowled, turning to Sirius.
"You indicated to him earlier that he's not welcome at the moment. He didn't talk to you about meeting us prior to his bursting in. I understand you're friends, Siri, but he's... a bit of an idiot, really, if he can't gather that we're trying to spend as much time together before we're kept apart likely for the rest of the year," Hydrus explained, his voice surprisingly level.
Sirius sighed, "I know. I'll talk to him later so he understands, but just... please try to be nice to him, okay? He's helped me feel less like I should die on the spot for being sorted into Gryffindor."
Regulus looked up at that, his eyes wide, "Sirius, you--" He swallowed, "Will you hate us if we're not in Gryffindor?"
"What?" Sirius glanced between the two brothers, his eyes widened, "No, of course not-- You--" Sirius inhaled sharply, then leaned over to take either of their hands in his, "You are my brothers no matter what. Do you understand?"
The twins blinked at him, both looking as if they were ready to burst into tears at any second. So much more innocent than their hostility towards James.
"Do you?" Sirius asked again, and slowly they nodded. And the three brothers hugged, talking in hushed whispers over the rest of the train ride as if everything was right in the world, even if only for a moment.
"SLYTHERIN!" the hat called for the second time, and Hydrus hopped off the stool and rushed to join his twin at the green table. Sirius applauded despite the weird looks he was getting from his friends and the rest of the houses, even going as far as whistling in congratulations. By the time the feast was over, Sirius found himself running to hug his little brothers.
"I'm so proud of you both," Sirius mumbled against the two familiar figures, and felt them hug him in return.
The prefects pulled them away, but Sirius went to sleep that night knowing that no matter what, his brothers were still his brothers. And nothing could change that.