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As Lucy finished her day at NCIS and was walking to her car, she felt something wasn’t right. Kate’s day had been huge, the FBI were doing a final sweep of a major money laundering scheme, hoping to catch the top guy. Lucy knew as much of the schedule as Kate was allowed to tell her, and it should have wrapped up by then. She drove home, glancing at her phone.
They had made an agreement when they got back together: If a case would likely make them uncontactable then they would establish this that morning. They hadn’t had this conversation this morning, and Kate felt comfortable and confident in the day’s mission. So either she was going to update Lucy at any moment, or something was very wrong…
As Lucy arrived at their apartment, Kate messaged at last. *Got him. Home in 20, physically ok.* *Physically* ok… Right. Lucy quickly replied, hoping she’d catch Kate before she began driving.
*See you soon love! Everything will be ok when you’re home, I promise. What do you want for dinner?*She didn’t get an answer.
Lucy considered as she waited. She could cook but she really wanted to be available to look after Kate, and she knew her girlfriend would appreciate this. She settled on ordering sushi, selecting a wide variety of their mutual favourites, hoping this would arrive in time.
She checked the fridge, seeing a nearly full bottle of their favourite wine waiting for them. She put another next to it so they would be ready. Anything she could do to take Kate’s edge off… what could have happened?
She did what she could to make the apartment comfortable, opening one of the patio doors to let in the ocean air, turning on low lamps and making sure the living room was organized and settled the way Kate preferred. The door opened and Lucy heard Kate’s keys hit the counter far more aggressively than usual. She turned and saw her beloved walking toward her, face pinched in anguish.
“Hold me. Please.” Kate said before Lucy could greet her.
“Of course. I’ve got you.” Lucy gently wrapped her arms around Kate, but the blonde gripped her so tight she nearly startled.
“Tighter. Please, claim me as yours, claim me back.”
Lucy didn’t follow Kate’s words, but knew exactly what she needed. Tightening her arms as much as humanly possible, she helped Kate kick off her shoes before lifting her off the ground and letting her girlfriend wrap her legs around her.
It shouldn’t work, with their height difference, but Lucy’s natural strength and athleticism allowed her to hold Kate like this with a comfortable ease. It was a bit of a party trick, always getting a laugh from the team. But in these rare vulnerable moments, when Kate needed her girlfriend to take control, Lucy was particularly glad she was able to hold Kate like this.
Lucy carried Kate to the couch. She adjusted to the positions they normally preferred, with Kate in the corner of the couch, its arm gently against her back. Kate shook her head, resisting, and Lucy, confused but following, adjusted so Kate was against her instead. Now she was safe, Lucy could tell Kate’s emotions were coming up.
“… it was… that…” Kate tried to explain but couldn’t form a sentence, words coming out in a frantic emotional energy.
“Shhh, my love. You can tell me in a minute, take a breath, and cry it out first.” With this permission, Kate crumbled and was soon crying into Lucy’s chest. Lucy remained, stable and gentle, offering no objection while Kate released her anguish, her whole body shaking with the tears.
They sat still for a while, Lucy gently running her hand up and down Kate’s back.
“I… I need to tell you. I want to.” Kate said after a long time.
“Tell me as much as you want.” Lucy said. Kate nodded.
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“I found the guy, before anyone else. He overpowered me, got me against the wall…” She fought back tears as she spoke. “…he enjoyed it, rough hand on my body… could feel his… God, it was so violating… And we knew he had history … stuff like that… I… Curtis pulled him off me, it was probably less than a minute.”
“Kate…” Kate nodded, knowing what Lucy would say.
“You don’t have to say anything.” Lucy gently helped Kate into a sitting position, a fierce look in her eye.
“You’re mine.” Lucy said, low and intentional.
Kate nodded, partly to Lucy another part to herself. Lucy kissed her, with such a protective fierceness that Kate forgot about this man for a moment. They parted and caught their breath. Kate squeezed Lucy’s hands in thanks, and her girlfriend let the moment sit for some time. She then pulled back, looking Kate over.
“You’re not hurt?” Kate shook her head. A knock on the door Kate jump a little.
“It’s alright, its dinner.” Lucy explained, then called towards the door, “Thank you, you can leave it there.” There was a muffled acknowledgement, then steps retreating. Lucy stood. “I’ve ordered us the ultimate sushi feast. There’s wine in the fridge, but maybe we shouldn’t drink. There’s also those concentrated juices you like, I could make us up two of those?”
“I can do that.” Kate got up to help but Lucy turned, a playful finger pointed at her.
“You stay there. You’re being looked after tonight.” Kate sat, safe.
Lucy watched Kate closely as they ate dinner and watched ‘Below Deck,’ their latest trash tv favourite. She took Kate’s hand, gently squeezing when it looked like Kate was close to tears again. The simple, grounding action was enough to get her through tear free throughout dinner. But Lucy could feel how uncomfortable Kate felt in her own skin.
Once they finished nearly everything (Lucy had intentionally overbought,) Kate insisted on packing up what was left by herself. Lucy watched her, and saw she was so careful in her movements, self-conscious and uncomfortable in a way Kate often was when they first got together. It was nothing like the Kate Lucy loved now. As she sat back down wordlessly, wrapping her arms around herself, her face not fully present, her phone rang. It was Curtis.
“Good evening, Sir.” Kate’s formality showed just how fragile she really felt. Lucy could hear snatches of the voice on the other end.
“…make sure you’re home…”
“Yes, I’ve been here for nearly an hour, and I’ve eaten. I’ve eaten very well.” Kate said, making Lucy smile.
“…ood good. Is Special Agent Tara w…” It was Kate’s turn to smile.
“She’s right next to me.”
“…me on speaker.” Kate held the phone out between them.
“Special Agent Tara, I hope you don’t see this as overstepping but I’ve reached out to SAC Tenant, and arranged for the next two days off for both of you. She says she can spare you unless a major case comes in. I know I’m not your superior, but I’d like to give you direct orders to take care of one of my best agents.”
“Yes sir, heard loud and clear.” Curtis chuckled on the other end, then his tone changed. “Whistler I realize it might not be best timing, but we need a written statement about your encounter with the fugitive. Its best to get it out while its fresh.” Lucy watched Kate’s face go pale.
“…I understand, sir. I’ll get that done this evening.”
“I appreciate it. I’ll see you in a few days.” Kate ended the call and stared into space for a long time before speaking.
“Can you help me with that?” Lucy nodded.
She retrieved Kate’s laptop and took the lead, using her victim interview skills to make it as painless as possible. They went through the encounter, moment by moment, and had it all in a word document in 10 minutes. Kate was silently crying by the time they were done. She blinked these back, quickly emailing it to her ASAC Curtis before shutting the laptop with startling finality. She sharply wiped away her tears before turning to Lucy, as if begging for rescue from her own mind.
“Lets take a shower together, baby.” Lucy suggested, softly, “I can wash your whole body, make it like that fucker never touched you.” Kate nodded, and Lucy took her hands, guiding her to the bathroom.
Kate was always astonished at how soft Lucy could be. Given her Texan fire and athletic prowess, she rarely showed this side of her. Kate considered herself lucky to be one of the people who got to experience it.
And tonight, Lucy was the most soft and gentle she’d ever been. Standing with her back to the wall, so Kate didn’t feel trapped, Lucy gently scrubbed Kate’s entire body, neck to feet, looking into her eyes and offering soft words of love and encouragement as she worked. Kate found herself tearing up again, but this time, there was both pain and love in it. It was intense, raw and uncontrollable.
Lucy quickly finished washing Kate’s body, shutting off the water. Kate felt Lucy’s gentle arms wrap around her, holding her in the warmth of the steam as she sobbed. Kate genuinely didn’t understand what she’d done to earn such love from such an incredible woman as she stood, cradled in Lucy’s arms, listening to her soft voice offering further comfort.
As the room cooled, Kate’s tears slowed. She felt Lucy gently step away, and opened her eyes to see her girlfriend holding a towel open in front of her. Stepping into it, Lucy wrapped her tightly, before wrapping herself in another.
“Did that all feel good baby? Did it help?” Kate nodded, feeling more and more secure by the moment. She was home, with the woman she trusted the most in this world, and that man was behind bars, likely for the rest of his life. But it had still been such an ordeal.
“Can we both wear the long sleeve pjs tonight?” Kate asked. Lucy nodded. “I’m sorry, the shower was perfect but I just think I’ve had enough skin contact tonight.”
“I understand that, we’ll do whatever you need, and have an early night.” Lucy assured her. “Are you ready for bed now?” Kate nodded.
Lucy handed Kate a smaller towel for her hair, drying her own before moving into the bedroom, locating the pj sets in question and laying Kate’s out on the bed. She could hear Kate brushing her teeth, and quickly dressed in her own pj set before swapping places with Kate so she could change privately.
It was all so intentional, giving Kate space, while being within reach. When Lucy joined Kate in bed, the blonde immediately settled against her girlfriend’s chest, burying her face against it. She had no tears left but still needed this vulnerability. Lucy wrapped sturdy arms around her, gently rubbing Kate’s back.
“Thank you, my love. Thank you for everything.”
“You’re welcome, Kate. I’ve got you.” And together, they slipped into an easy sleep.