Chapter Text
My arms, numb from despair and prolonged effort, clung with almost cruel obstinacy to the inert weight of her body. It wasn't just a body: it was an anchor, the only certainty I had left in a world that was falling apart second by second. Every muscle burned, every joint trembled, but the primal instinct to hold her overrode any pain. I felt a harsh, lacerating burning in my throat, as if the metal of a scream, one that never came out, had become embedded there, rusting with my helplessness.
My vision had been reduced to a blurry, shaky field, unable to distinguish whether the veil covering it was the result of the incessant torrent of hot tears or absolute exhaustion. There was nothing left but the act of holding her, as if that gesture could reverse the irreversible.
Outside, the night was torn apart violently. Raw streaks of blue and red light began to seep through the filthy gaps in the warehouse, pulsing like a indifferent heart. The trees in the surrounding forest danced in the darkness, casting elongated, grotesque shadows that crawled across the concrete floor like mocking specters.
I tried to talk to her. Once again. I tried to assure her that help had arrived, even though the absurdity of my words hit me hard. My voice, however, was nothing more than a broken whisper. It sounded broken, dry, with an ashen texture, devoid of all strength. I wondered if the sound had reached her ears or if my mind was betraying me with one last desperate lie.
From the floor below, a dull, distorted echo began to rise: footsteps, voices, a cacophony that heralded the irruption of reality. Shortly after, a figure emerged from the dark stairwell. A paramedic. Perhaps an agent. He approached with professionalism, with that trained delicacy that tries not to break what is already broken. He wanted to pull her body away from me.
I refused.
I clung to her with animal intensity, digging my fingers into her clothes as if I could merge with her. I couldn't let go. Not yet. Not until he arrived. Because his presence would make her real. Tangible. To the only person who mattered now.
And then he appeared.
His silhouette filled the doorway of the staircase. Our eyes met in a moment of mutual recognition, a meeting of devastated souls. He saw me. Then his gaze slowly descended to the body I still refused to release.
And that's when I saw it.
It was the longest split second of my life. The world stopped. The air ran out. And his heart, through his eyes, shattered into a million microscopic fragments. A muffled, desperate cry wanted to escape from my chest, a scream of shared agony, but it remained trapped, dry, like a piece of glass embedded in the dryness of my throat.
I don't know how long I had been screaming for him in the silence of my mind. But in that same fraction of a second, in that shattered gaze, in that absolute loss of his partner, of his love... he pulled himself together. The mask returned. Implacable. Imperturbable. Before me was no longer the man stripped of his love. It was the FBI Special Agent.
He approached me. He was talking to me. I knew this from the rhythmic, urgent movement of his lips. But no matter how hard I tried, logic and language had become extinct. All that existed was a loud, sharp, piercing buzzing sound resonating in my ears. A constant beeping that drowned out the outside world.
His arms wrapped around me. They weren't comforting. They were forceful. A firm, compelling gentleness that slowly, painfully separated me from the body I was still holding.
I struggled in his grip, trying with a last gasp of will to return to her. He prevented me. Through the veil of my tears, I watched as that blonde hair—which I had so often admired in the sun—now fell heavily, soaked with blood, as she was carried away on the stretcher.
My internal sobs intensified. This time, they were loud enough to be heard above the roaring in my ears.
Without warning, without a word, I felt a brief, icy prick in my arm. My head snapped around, registering the paramedic's face. The weight of my eyelids became unbearable, a leaden slab falling on my consciousness.
I tried to refocus on the Agent who was still holding me with unwavering strength. But it was useless. My treacherous body succumbed to the sedative before my mind could register the final defeat.
Darkness welcomed me.