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I was an antique shop owner when I witnessed the last supernatural creatures leave this dimension a few months ago. I never expected to find two monsters in my store and was relieved when Twilight happened because my competitors relied on magical cursed objects and books. My kind of antiques were bronze amulets, dusty bookcases stuffed with old stories typewritten not computer made, and old-fashioned lanterns. I run a clean store and enjoy a clientele that was mainly human and innocent. It decreased the likelihood of my good self-getting eaten by those creatures. Plus, I could finally ignore my business partner’s insistence on buying stock in the demon market. A human only world didn’t change things much for me.
My shop was located in a thriving, working-class Latino neighborhood. It was full of intrigued customers searching for a bargain. The store was designed to be welcoming yet mysterious with merchandise neatly organized into heaps divided into different groups. One pile would be full of kitchen gear. Another would be fancy furniture. Some bookshelves were stacked in items built of fragile ceramic China. Yet another heap was full of tantalizing dolls and vintage toys. Sheer antique cloths and curtains hung on hooks and hangers. The most prized possession I had in my store was a silver mirror. It cost over two thousand, but I secretly would not give it up for a penny. The glass’s edges were fancy and gilded with silver metal. I kept it in good shape but today I would see it be used in a most unusual manner.
So, I was shocked when the nerdy Caucasian couple came inside. They both seemed “off” particularly the male. It was early evening, and I noted how pale the young man was. His hair was all long and floppy, and he wore large Victorian glasses perched upon his nose. His clothes seemed deliberately archaic but with my keen eye I spotted that the Victorian clothes were just an imitation and not the real deal, a recreation.
The girl was attractive but extremely goofy babbling about tacos and pretty furniture. She also wore glasses which matched her untidy hair but the way she carried herself seemed more sincere than the male.
“You’re a vampire,” I said sternly to the man. “Your kind is supposed to be long gone.”
They evaded the question of his supernatural existence or lack thereof. “Oh, he’s a good one or at least morally ambiguous at worse,” babbled the girl. She vigorously hugged the male who had a big grin like the besotted lover he appeared to be. Both glasses nearly slipped off their noses as they kissed passionately much to my growing annoyance.
“Darling Fred,” said the male with his British accent becoming more rough sounding, “best to find curtains for our new digs, pet.”
Fred snuggled against him practically giving him an Eskimo kiss while I almost gagged at the impossible cuteness of this bizarre scene. The couple turned towards me and cocked their heads in the same manner becoming a matching set. My feelings changed from irritation to alarm. “Cat got your tongue, shopkeeper?” he rumbled with a mocking working-class tinge to his British accent. A layer of menace now seemed to grip their appearance, manner, and voices.
Fred’s face grew cold and stern as though she was now some hellish queen while the vampire just smirked. However, strength coiled in his limbs as though he was ready to strike at me at any time. “Instead of curtains we would like to use the fine mirror you have here,” he said.
“The mirror is not for sale,” I said, flustered and wondering if I was about to be robbed. “It is just display only.”
“We must use the door,” said the woman in an icy, imperial tone. “It is our only way out of this doomed dimension.”
I pushed my glasses up on my own middle-aged face and squinted at them. “I don’t understand. This is a mirror not a door.”
“The glass is a dimensional exit,” Fred (was it her?) said turning her chin up at me as though I was a churlish child. “It matches to another mirror in a living dimension full of magic and monsters that fled this Twilight-haunted world. We wish to go through it. You will not stop us, human!”
“Now, you’re being rude in my own store,” I scoffed. “Yes, there used to be spells, demons, and other bad things in our world, but Twilight got rid of that. We are a rational world now full of science and law. There may be a few low-lifes, like your vampire boyfriend here but they are few and far between.” Taking a risk, I bravely turned my back to them and reached for my invoice (and the button to call the police).
“A world of science? A world more likely of entropy and global warming,” said the woman this time full of mourning for what was. Her voice seemed to become syrupy-sweet again. Fred was the child-woman she initially appeared to be merging with the haughty virago she was becoming.
“This has also become a world of politician-kings,” growled the vampire, “hurtling your law into dystopic nightmare, mate.”
I glared back at the menacing couple. “Be that as it may, I will not part with the mirror at any cost.”
“We just need to use it once, shopkeeper,” taunted the British vamp who caressed his lover’s face possessively. She did not blink once when he did that. It was as if something else was embodying the girl’s flesh. This was so very unnerving to me.
I braced myself on the counter before them and said with all my strength of conviction. “You shall not steal it. I will get the police. You also shall not break it. I know your kind.”
“My lady and I have grown since we were first demons,” he purred as he groped his consort’s arm who leaned against him as though she was a tiring monarch instead of a young woman.
She nodded. “I would tear out the entrails of a miscreant such as yourself before I let him bar the way, but I have learned much of your world, now.” Fred gestured to the vampire who left the store for a few minutes. My heart was in my throat for I did not doubt that they could kill me if I got in their way. I gazed out the shop’s window and saw the vamp duck into a darkened DeSoto. He held a heavy leather bag as he scampered back into the store. Was it some sharpened weapon to disembowel me with? No, it was a bag full of antique gold coins he landed on my counter!
“Illyria? Fred?” asked the lovesick vampire towards the woman.
She gently touched my wrist like a butterfly, “Please, sir, let us use the mirror. All we must do is go through it once,” her voice was sweet.
I stared at the two of them dumbfounded. I was not sure if I should fight for my life or treat them as honored customers. Finally, I decided to accept the fortune in return for one-time use of my silver mirror. I walked from behind the counter and gently nudged the demonic, cutesy couple to the glass with my heart thrumming loudly. A scrap of paper fell from the man’s trouser pocket. I stopped to offer to pick it up before they used the mirror, but he shook his head no.
The couple stood in front of the silver mirror. At first, I only saw a reflection of Fred and none of him as expected since he was a vampire. However, the glass suddenly rippled as though it was a pool of clear water, and someone threw stones in it. The silver and clear glass became the hue of molten gold. Both had reflections now, and the images in the mirror had different appearances.
Fred now had blue hair, blue skin, and a strange red carapace covering her body instead of the flowery dress. The imperious glare on her image’s face was very similar to when she spoke coldly. The man ‘s reflection showed a masculine vampire in a long leather duster with a bleach blond hair smoothed back in a very punk-like fashion. He appeared to be very fierce very far from the fop he pretended to be in my store. Fred and the vampire raised their hands at the mirror, and the glass flashed gold again showing the woman in a white lab coat. To my surprise, the punk vampire reflections changed to that of a Victorian gentleman with floppy, gold-brown hair. That fop was what he was as a human, I could tell.
They were not surprised at the mirror’s properties and powers, at all. Quite the contrary, they seemed to know how to control and adjust it as if they were tinkering with an old television from the twentieth century. The vampire and his geeky girlfriend turned to me and spoke in unison, “The glass is showing us what we were. What we could become again if we stay in this Twilight-damaged dimension.”
“Once the Seed of Wonder was taken,” Fred whispered to me, “supernatural creatures had to flee to other dimensions but the ones who stayed like us started to… change, Become more human, more like genetic mutations.”
Her brown eyes flashed blue, her face became colder and majestic, and Illyria said haughtily like she was Queen Elizabeth the II, “And that was unacceptable to me and my… consort Spike.”
The vampire had a crooked smile on his face. “I’m your pet, luv, remember?” He turned to me and grumbled. “The soul and the demon within me are… stirring and becoming one. It’s not just a burning spark making me a real boy but two personalities now. I feel sorry for Angel, Angelus, now. It’s disconcerting. Does that rhyme?”
I was alarmed. I thought Twilight had done right in taking magic away from this Earth. Evil demons, witches, and sorcerers have done so much wrongness to the world and human society. Then, there were the vampires. These parasites had leeched on and killed and corrupted us poor humans long enough. Yet, seeing the changes in the couple and their barely concealed despair and anger touched and confused me. “What are you going to do?” I asked my customers.
“Say goodbye,” said Spike. He made a violent jerking motion towards the silver mirror which glowed gold and then red. It showed a room in an office building.
Fred/Illyria turned to Spike and asked, “Why are you showing us a Hell dimension?” He gestured towards the images in the glass. A blonde vampire in designer dress was holding a tray with two cups on it. She sashayed into one of the cubicles where was a female brunette lawyer wearing a scarf chatting closely with a bespectacled, intense dark-haired man. They seemed quite taken with each other and barely acknowledged the young vampire who delivered coffee to them.
One of Fred’s eyes flashed blueish again, and she turned away from the moving portrait in the mirror. Her face was crumpled in agony. She spoke but two women’s voices came out both Fred’s and Illyria’s. “Why show me Wesley in Hell, William? This upsets and angers me.”
He reached over and gently hugged the half-demon, half -human girl. This Fredillyria. “To show you that our poor Wes is not suffering after his suicide, my love. He is satisfied and happy working in the Wolfram and Hart office in one of the Hell dimensions. The lucky bastard didn’t even notice Harm passing out beverages.”
Both girl’s eyes turned blue, and she smiled coldly while making an arrogant gesture towards the mirror. The glass turned multiple colors finally showing a bizarre sight. A short blonde woman whose hair was in a ponytail was holding a stake in one hand and holding the wrist of a tall brunette vampire in the other. I recognized the man as the vampire god Twilight from several newspaper and magazine articles. They were walking together in a white blank space. Before them scampered a winged lion cub with green fire playing about its head and tail. Following the couple were two young adults with brown hair, a boy and a girl. The boy held a jagged knife and kept pointing at the final distant figure of their troop- a beautiful vampire with curling brunette hair in a clinging Victorian dress. Spike let out a suppressed groan, and I gazed at him with concern. His sharp cheekbones were flaccid and his now wet blue eyes were rapt on the images. I could not tell which figure he was gazing intently at, perhaps all of them?
Finally, Spike made a small gesture, and the mirror turned blue. It showed a group of attractive adults at a restaurant on my world. They seemed to be made up of three loving couples- a Tibetan woman and a short ginger-haired man, a bald African American man and a white woman with multi-colored hair in a red leather outfit, and a blonde woman with a hairy man. They were all smiling and quite content.
My vampire customer barked out some laughter. “Good on Gunn and Oz for finding true love.” He frowned as he examined the sight further. “Oh, bloody hell, is that Marv with wolf girl Nina?”
Illyria nodded. “Yes, my consort, notice how all the werewolves are beginning to lose the wolves within becoming totally human. We must leave soon, or that will be our fate.”
“Just wait one minute,” said Spike as he made a motion towards my magical mirror. “The boy…”
Compassion flowed over the woman’s face with the mismatched eyes. “Very well, my consort.”
The image of the restaurant scene blurred. The reflection now showed a young, slightly chubby man in his twenties. He was sitting on a hotel bed despondent. The “boy” as the vampire referred to had dark brown hair and an eyepatch on his face. His palms were open holding three objects. There was a twisted wooden stake, a golden necklace made up of the name “Dawn,” and a broken yellow crayon. One tear poured down his round face from his remaining eye.
Into the hotel room entered a tough-looking brunette and the three other men. One was a tall, skinny blond guy who acted nervous and nerdy. The second male was older, dressed in tweed like I did sometimes, and polished a pair of glasses much like mine. The last man was very muscly and dressed in a military uniform. They all gazed at the man with the eyepatch with concern. Even the biker-like brunette’s face softened, and she touched his shoulder. Everyone in the hotel seemed to be human so I was surprised to see worry etched on the faces of the two supernatural creatures as they gazed upon the glass.
“Surprised Captain Cardboard is there,” mused the vampire.
“At least, he has them helping him after losing the Slayer, the Key, and the witch all because of Twilight,” the woman replied.
The couple then made a motion towards the glass, and it turned an emerald, green hue. The reflection showed a world of Oz-like greenery. The mirror revealed a farmhouse lit by two suns. A family of green-scaled demons were gathered in front of the cottage. Some of them were arguing with each other. A bearded woman was frowning at a demon dressed as a Las Vegas lounge singer. Soon other people joined the quarrelling family. A handsome man with flowing dark hair and strange, demonic eyes was dressed like romance novel hero and was holding a mighty sword. Behind him was a winged horse and a giant green… dragon?! They seemed to be the man’s steeds and were waiting peacefully in the fields next to the farmhouse.
Three creatures and a Japanese woman dressed as red-clad ninja exited the house and joined the crowd. One was an eighteen-year-old girl with feral dark hair and yellow eyes dressed in a punklike fashion with a duster that resembled the coat Spike had worn in his reflection. The second creature was a huge floating fish with flowing purple finlike hair. The thing appeared to be a Betta fish.
The final entity was the world-famous author Maria Harley, a beautiful and voluptuous Hispanic woman nicknamed Spider on the Internet. Her voluminous brown mane blew in the wind of the Oz-like dimension. I also saw why she was called that by her fans when eight hairy spider legs burst out through her designer clothes. Spider gave a big, false smile at the scowling, yellow-eyed girl and the flying fish.
Both of Fred’s eyes turned blue, and Illyria icily said as she pointed to Miss Harley, “What is that thing doing at our refuge?”
Spike smiled and just shrugged. “Probably the same reason we are going there. She didn’t want to lose her powers. I hope bloody Non is not in Pylea, too.”
The vampire groaned in irritation when he saw a blonde, pixie-like demon with bumpy arms and a jean jacket come strolling out of the farmhouse and stood next to Maria. We then saw more humans and supernatural creatures join the group. Spike nodded in satisfaction. “The whole Mosaic gang seems to be there. They are waiting for us.”
The Victorian vampire offered his arm to Illyria. All her blue eyes became brown again, and the haughty queen was replaced by a female nerd. She grasped his hand. They grinned at each other and then faced the mirror. The silver frame glowed a bright white making it hard for me to see. The crowd of humans and demons in Pylea appeared to stare at us, our world. They began beckoning for Spike and Fredillyria to come to their new world, the technicolored Pylea. The vampire had a cocky grin towards his woman. “I guess I should look forward to occasionally being a violent scaly beast.”
She giggled and squeezed his head. “I’ll make sure to control you, my pet.” Her grin turned bittersweet. “I was trapped there so long. Pylea still lives in my nightmares. Now, it will be our new home.”
Spike growled as he vowed, “I will be your champion and protect you, my Queen.”
The woman just made a Mona Lisa smile. The couple then rushed at the glass, and I saw an amazing sight! The two creatures merged with the glass that bubbled like butter or frothy 7-up. Images blurred like a kaleidoscope showing a plethora of people or monsters. I saw the floppy haired William reading a leather-bound tome, a bleached blond vamp with yellow eyes getting beaten by the woman seen in the Twilight dimension, a nerdy female scientist eating tacos and pushing her glasses up her nose while in a lab, and a multi-tentacled monster queen destroying whole armies of demons while pausing to touch a blade of grass. The mirror blinked its frame like it was an eye, and then they were gone.
Shocked, I touched the glass wondering if it still held magic. I heard faint snippets of conversation though I barely understood the context.
“Welcome, fellow champions and Old One,” said a man.
“Maria, Non, get out of the way. Spike and Illyria are *our* friends not yours.”
A harsh matronly voice cried, “Numfar, do the dance of annoyed welcoming.”
“Oh, Mother, don’t make me sing!” said another man.
Finally, I felt in my brain the telepathic thoughts of one Betta George the flying fish. *Hiya, Spike! Hiya, Fred and Illyria! Say goodbye to Mister Needleham. Enjoy the world without magic, human! * The last thought was directed to me.
I gasped and knocked on the glass. All was silence in my antique shop. The mirror was just an ordinary piece of furniture and would never be a dimensional door or window. I walked back a step, and my foot landed on the scrap of paper Spike had tossed away. I picked it up and read a poem that was hastily scribbled on it:
They walked like panthers in sand
They glowed, glimmered
Revealing new surfaces each time
Like facets of a diamond
Of fangs, blue carapaces, and the swirl of leather
Glasses, meek behavior, modesty in buttons and proper clothes
Disguised them as they saunter upright in polite society.
The monsters gleam though human masks-
A vampire tooth here, a tentacle there.
The civilians don’t know the truth of the war against darkness
The Wolf, Ram, and Hart make sure of that
Twilight seals the deal.
As they battle, they love full of effulgent glow
Looking for a place to call home
A matching set of glasses and snake eyes.
The paper dropped out of my hands next to my bag of gold. Would I ever see them once more?
As the years went by, I pondered on what those magnificent supernatural creatures told me about the nature of a wonderless world, this dimension that Twilight left taking the Seed of magic with it. The Earth grew hotter and more wretched with erratic weather patterns and skyrocketing food. I suffered through the plagues and other turmoil of the Malloy, Trump, and other political Administrations. At times, it was more than what I could bare. A small nuclear bomb set off by a terrorist, or so they said, marred the eastern United States resulting in many mutations. Public media had become AI generated slop making even escapism boring and irritating. The gold in my bag kept me afloat for many decades but I didn’t invest well and so was almost penniless.
The other day I was scrubbing the graffiti off the walls of my little shop while looking at an eviction notice. Suddenly, I heard a rumbling above. I pushed up my retro glasses up on my nose and glanced up excitedly. Perhaps, somehow, Spike and Fredillyria had come back from Pylea riding that dragon I’d seen in that world. Instead, I saw a deluxe flying car (the first of its kind) floating up above me. I had heard news of its potential development on the ‘Net but didn’t believe it would happen in my lifetime. A couple was peering down at me and my rundown shop on the verge of closing. They were slim, well-dressed (half-naked in fact) and had the airs of the very wealthy. They flashed smiles at with their perfect teeth somehow worse than the vampires they replaced. They preceded to dump a bucket of refuse on my bald head.
I cleaned up my trash-splattered, arthritis-stricken arms and my wrinkled face and head in my store bathroom. I then pulled out the old mirror from my hiding place. It was no longer publicly displayed since the glass was shattered from a shoplifter years ago. Still, I polished the silver frames until they gleamed and stared at the remaining shards clinging to the device.
“Please, please, take me with you,” I whispered. Yet, the magic was long gone. That fabulous matching set now lived in the weird world of Pylea somewhere between Narnia and Oz.