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The sound of a fist fight could be heard in several parts of Skyhold one sunny afternoon but no one could seem to identify the source of the disturbance. It was starting to worry some people, namely Commander Cullen, as they thought perhaps there was a rift somewhere in Skyhold and yet no Inquisitor to be found. With a heavy sigh, Cullen decided to go looking for the source of the mysterious invisible battle.
His search did not prove fruitful as when he got to the sight where the sounds were loudest he still couldn’t find anything. He was actually beginning to believe the place was haunted after all.
Meanwhile, high atop the roofs of Skyhold, Inquisitor Deja Lavellan was enjoying a sparring match with her old friend, a dwarf with long red hair and an equally long and red beard, Enour.
“Ha! Getting slow in your old age?” Deja taunted, ducking out of the path of one of Enour’s strikes.
“Keep talking, it’ll make it easier to kick your springy elf ass.” Enour laughed, landing a firm strike to the woman’s side. Deja grunted in discomfort but didn’t back down, the dwarf’s right hook was annoying but she still had a few tricks up her sleeve.
“Or it might just distract you long enough for me to take victory!” The elf jabbed at him three times in quick succession, these sparring sessions on the roof had become a regular thing and gave them a chance to work on their acrobatics as well. Unfortunately, Enour’s usual grace was failing him today as the moment he went to roll out of the way of one of Deja’s strikes he went tumbling off the side of the roof. Deja would have attempted to stop the sudden drop had she not known how sturdy the dwarf was (and had she not been laughing so hard).
Cullen was about to leave when he noticed the mysterious sounds had stopped but he got less than two steps when 100 kilograms of dwarf landed on him, sending him tumbling on his ass and back and knocking the air out of his lungs. When Cullen came back to his senses he saw Enour’s red beard and nothing else but he heard Deja’s laugh way above him, something about this wasn’t right.
When Deja could finally calm her breath and stop laughing she crept over to the side of the roof carefully, pushing her black hair behind her ear, and glanced over the edge only to erupt into another fit of laughter. On the ground below was her friend straddling her lovers chest. The sight was completely priceless!
“Cullen how could you?!” She gasped dramatically and loud enough for half of Skyhold to hear, “I thought you loved me? How could you cheat on me? And with my best friend no less!” Cullen opened his mouth to reply but the dwarf on him got to it first.
“Trust me, my dear Deja, he’s not my type!” Enour yelled up at her, chuckling as he noticed the elf double over in laughter again.
“No, you’re type is seven foot tall and into bondage!” Deja called back with a giggle.
“This is true. But you know how they say size doesn’t matter?” Enour’s grin widened, “It does to me and I don’t think Cullen fits my expectations.” At that comment, Cullen started squirming trying to remove himself from beneath the dwarf but unfortunately Enour was very heavy.
“How could you possibly know that? You’ve never been to bed with him.” Despite her usually prudish nature, it seemed Deja was in a mood to torment her commander.
“I’ve had plenty of experience in my time, dear sweet Deja, and trust me when I say your boyfriend isn’t that impressive!” Now Cullen’s face was turning the colour of a tomato, half of Skyhold was probably hearing this conversation being yelled from the front courtyard up to a roof and it was the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to him.
“He may not be impressive for you but he’s not yours so I’d appreciate it if you didn’t comment on the size of my boyfriends-“
“I am still right here you realize?!” Cullen finally cried out, never wanting Deja to finish that sentence.