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His ears hurt.
Floyd isn't sure where he is, anything under his hands and feet feel like air, even when he's sure he's pressing on something.
He's on the floor, curled up on the tiles. There's shadows above him, which is silly, usually he'd be the one looming over scrambling fry. What's strange are his clothes right now. His blazer and vest are gone, his shirt was torn that buttons cant solve, and there's nothing to cover his briefs with. His body felt so cold, abnormal.
He couldn't hear well usually, but his ears seemed to be working too well today, since he could hear people laughing above him. They sound mean, mocking and so familiar yet so different. Their faces were blurry when he looked up, but their words were loud and clear.
"I can't believe we actually took him down."
"After tormenting us for so long, its makes sense that he should get what he deserves."
"Can he wear his clothes back? His body is making me uncomfortable.."
"Do you see the gills on his ribs? it's so gross!"
"Though, doesn't he look good like this? Merfolk are so eye catching for a reason."
Floyd felt himself chuckle, bringing his body closer to himself as he gets humiliated. What can he do here? His mouth doesn't feel like it has a tongue. He tried to pick up his discarded trousers, but the fabric felt like acid on his skin.
He's so hopeless. He could only cry.
—---
He wanted to throw up.
Floyd found himself in a different room, a bathroom to be exact. He squeezed himself inbetween the bathtub and the glass shower, a tight fit, but nothing a moray can't squeeze through.
What's weird is the loud banging on the door.
There's yelling coming from the other side, a voice that changes a few times. It mostly sounded like Mama, but it also sounded like Papa, Jade, Azul, some of them he couldn't remember.
His face felt hot and wet, his heart is pumping blood straight to his head. He continued to squeeze himself, making himself smaller, anxiously watching the barricaded door he couldn't keep his eyes off. It's threatening to break down.
Mama is so mad. He didn't understand why, but he must've done something wrong. His clothes are still torn, but the trousers make him look somewhat presentable. Any yelling meant danger, he's in so much danger, it makes it hard for him to breathe. His vision is spiraling.
" Why couldn't you tell me?! I've been with you and raised you since birth, you'd rather trust that stupid squid more than me, ungrateful BITCH!"
He feels so guilty.
—-
Floyd immediately sprung from his bed, heart pounding and sweat clung on the back of his neck. He looks around, he's still in his shared dorm room.
"Jade? Azul?" He called out, not realising how scared he sounded. He gets out of bed, sprinting to Azul's dorm room barefoot, their yelling still rang in his head like a school drill.
When he bursts the door open, both Jade and Azul turned their heads up to a frantic Floyd, whose panic slowly turned to confusion.
" You're up early, surprisingly." Azul said, still buttoning his blazer. " You either wake up last minute or just sleep in."
Jade, who was arranging Azul's personal paperwork on his desk, noticed how his brother's eyes held something shaky, and how he seems to breathe a little faster than normal. Floyd rarely ever gets this agitated. " Is something the matter? "
The silence from Floyd is concerning. His tongue felt heavy from morning breath and dread. " .. Nah, it's nothing. "
Jade and Azul turned to eachother when Floyd left, concerned and evidently worried.
—-
Floyd might've looked fine outside, but there's lots of things that are more unusual than the norm.
He's more particular with his clothes, his fingers fiddled with his blazer more often, his vest is buttoned slightly, and the collar around his neck feels so uncomfortable. Clothes always felt constricting, but it seemed to want to squeeze him whole unless he really rips it off his skin.
He's less annoying, less talkative, his movements looked robotic. He looked over his shoulder quite often, chewing on his nails in class, everyone's eyes felt like cigarette burns on him. His mind is a little different though.
People usually forget about their dreams when they wake up, but this one felt too real. It replayed in his day the whole day, sometimes mistaking noises in his head for the ones surrounding him. It kept him on edge, it kept him so exhausted. He didn't have energy or the confidence to play with small fry.
In his room, he kept himself busy to forget. He played music until his ears bleed, scratched his skin until he felt it sting for hours, his weighted blanket doesn't have enough weight to crush the nightmare haunting him. He's certain, this is what he truly is inside, and he doesn't have the power to control it.
—-
Floyd is in Jade's bed. Jade allowed him to curl up together after she finished her shift at Mostro Lounge and got ready for bed. He liked the extra weight when they entertwined their legs together.
Floyd held her hand with both of his, rubbing on the flesh that's borderline excessive. Jade is warm, heavy, her slender fingers and soft skin. It brings a small comfort.
" You're acting rather different than usual," Jade spoke up. Her voice is so quiet, but Floyd heard it like a gunshot. " Do you want to tell me? "
Floyd shook his head, " I don't remember that much." Liar. But Jade isn't the kind to let things go so easily.
" You're not the type to be scared. " Floyd frowned when he heard her concern, even in this moment, he still couldn't explain what's going on in his head.
The silence stretched for a long time, the sea flowed outside of their room leisurely, but it's not awkward or tense. It's never awkward with Jade.
" ..Bad dream, " He spoke, his tongue covered in molasses. " I had a bad dream. "
Floyd didn't look at Jade in the eye, but he knows she's listening. She always listens, and that makes something in him feel wanted.
" Does Jade think I'm hopeless? "
for not being able to finish his homework on time?
for not being able to control his impulses or mood swings?
for messing up everything and disappointing everyone?
for having so many intrusive thoughts mess with his health?
They both have went to doctors, and they told their parents all sorts of things. Floyd doesn't remember much, getting bored half way, but Jade always does. Jade explained to him that his self worth is a little different long ago, but it still hurts so much than what the paper says.
Jade stayed silent, her hand squeezed his. It calms the spiral a little, like adding cold water to boiling hot tea.
" I don't think you're hopeless at all," Jade answered. " You're better and smarter than me and Azul when you put your mind onto something, you can even rival Riddle-san if you wanted. "
" But I don't always do that. "
" That's what makes you so special compared to others. "
Floyd felt something sting inside. He's special, Jade's special too. But special doesn't always mean better. It just meant you're something else, like a piece of silver inside a pile of gold. People would notice, and cast you aside because this space isn't for you.
Does being special mean they should be treated like dirt under someone's shoes?
Is being special equal to being incompetent pigs that don't have brains?
" This world isn't made for you or I, and there's no solution to make the others mind their business," Jade mused under the quiet sea. She comforted Floyd and herself along, as she's also a victim to brainless babbling fry. " But, that doesn't mean we can't have a place here either. "
Floyd stared at Jade with a blank look that held so many tears, the sting in his chest and pressure building in his head soften a little. He's prone to daydreaming, even things he hates. He always wished the others would be a little easier to him, because he knows he can. He can do things beyond those stupid anemone's dreams.
He's capable of great things, but the world wanted him to be a machine.
Floyd brought Jade closer, squeezing her in his arms. His imaginations can be too real, too hurtful, he muffled his cries on Jade's shoulder. " Jade's so annoying. "
Jade can be such an angel when she wanted to.
" Fufu, apologies." Jade mused, rubbing the back of his moray hoodie. " You just looked so sad, I couldn't help but let loose a little. "