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The floorboards lightly squeak beneath delicate feet as the youngest Black daughter makes her way towards the last bedroom in the hallway, a photo album in her hands. Normally, she would cast a spell to avoid the squeaking sounds, since her mother has sensitive ears and doesn't appreciate the noise, but her parents aren't home right now and going out of her own quarters at this exact hour was a deliberate choice.
She's planning on making a lot of louder noises than squeaking, after all.
“Andromeda!” Narcissa Black almost shouts as she not-so-gently knocks on the door of Andromeda Black’s bedroom. “Open the door!”
After a few seconds, the eldest daughter opens her bedroom door, seemingly alarmed as she looks at her youngest sister. “For Merlin's sake, Cissy, I thought you were dying or something judging by the way you were practically slamming at my door!” She then looks at Narcissa's angrily blushing face, “enter at once, will you”, Andromeda says, more quietly.
Once Narcissa enters the room, photo album crushed between her arms and chest, Andromeda locks the door and casts a muffliato. There's no one else in the house, but it's better to be safe than sorry, especially in a magical building filled with house elves. The brunette then notices the way the blonde is tightly carrying herself, as if she's about to burst, and asks “what's the matter with you?”
“A mudblood.” Is Narcissa's response, eyes stern, mouth tight with disapproval.
Andromeda's skin pales almost imperceptibly, but her voice is steady and almost too neutral when she inquires “what in the world are you talking about?”
“Don't act all ingénue with me, Andy”, Narcissa's voice trembles with emotion at the nickname, but her face loosens just slightly as she continues, “I was walking on the edges of the forest, looking for somewhere to sit down and organize my photos, when I see you with that disgusting Hufflepuff boy-”
“For Merlin's sake Narcissa, we're classmates! We were forcefully partnered by the professor, is it a crime to meet each other and do work?” Andromeda answers, arms crossed, looking at her little sister like she's crazy.
“Really? That's the best excuse you can give me?” Narcissa narrows her eyes, “do classmates meet each other away from the eyes of everyone? Why weren't you at the library then, if you're oh so innocent?”
“Because of little pests like you! Who knows what kind of rumours would that bring?”
“Oh, weren't you forcefully partnered by the professor?” the youngest daughter makes quotation marks with her right hand, “can’t another classmate of yours vouch for you in that case? What if I asked Aurora Parkinson about it, I wonder? Would she know what you're talking about, or would she have no idea?”
Andromeda starts to get red in the face, “our partners were picked privately by the professor”.
“That doesn't even make sense!” Narcissa almost shouts again, then deflates, “I don't know why you're even bothering to lie to me, Andromeda, you're not stupid, we both know why I brought the photo album”.
Andromeda’s eyes flash with fear for a moment, then the impassivity comes back, “you must be bluffing, because I did nothing wrong, and I know it”, she says, cold like the pureblood Slytherin girl that she is.
“Let's see the evidence, then”, Narcissa walks to Andromeda's bed, lays her photo album on it, opens it and carefully takes away three animated photos.
The first one was rather simple. A cloaked girl and a light brown haired boy walking side by side, right on the edges of the woods. Their faces are not visible, but the way the boy’s shoulders are shaking suggests that he's laughing at something, or someone.
“This one proves nothing”, Andromeda says when Narcissa hands that one to her.
“Maybe not on its own, but you haven't seen the rest yet”, Narcissa answers as she fiddles with the second.
This one is clearly from deeper in the forest, since the trees are all around them. Their faces are now visible, and it's now very clear that the boy is Edward Tonks, and the girl is Andromeda Black, like Narcissa claims. They're now very close to each other, their hands entwined. The revolting boy is smiling ear to ear, and her sister has the warmest smile Narcissa has ever seen on the other's face.
Sickening.
Andromeda gulps, her mouth a straight line. “How did you even get this far into the forest without us noticing you?” The eldest asks, almost as if she's asking herself. “And how did we not hear your camera clicking?”
“I'm good at stealth spells”, the youngest simply says, her stomach churning as she reveals the last photo.
Finally, Narcissa reveals the third picture. This is the most scandalous one, in her opinion. It shows Andromeda and Edward, kissing against a tree. Her hands are holding his face, and his hands are on her hips. They look completely absorbed in each other.
Repulsive.
“What in the world were you thinking, Andy?” the blonde asks, almost tearing up,“you would've been done if I were anyone else!” She narrows her eyes, “can you imagine if Bella were the one who caught you in the act?”
Andromeda shivers, speechless, staring at the pictures. “Did you show this to our parents?” She asks, voice desperate, eyes darting between the pictures and her sister.
“Of course not, who do you take me for?” Narcissa answers, offended and, honestly, quite hurt. “I'm purposely confronting you when they're not home so you can explain yourself to me first”, the girl’s eyes then turn scared, “you do have an explanation, right?” Narcissa desperately wishes that she has. She doesn't want to lose her sister to some nasty boy, can you blame her?
“Cissy-”, Andromeda begins.
“Don't ‘Cissy’ me!” Narcissa snaps.
“Cissy”, Andromeda says, more firmly, “that was a mistake”, she sighs, “I was just playing with him, alright? I was curious and bored, and you know that fooling around with good, pureblood boys is practically asking to be called a harlot. Plus, anything he claims we did won't be taken seriously by our circle, so in a way it's safe to toy with him!”.
Narcissa crosses her arms and frowns.
It’s bullshit. Andromeda knows it's bullshit. Narcissa knows it's bullshit. Even the boy in the picture knows it's bullshit, and the fucker isn't even here.
“Are you in love with him?” The youngest asks, her voice breaking as if she's about to burst out crying.
“No!” the eldest says, vehemently, “of course not, I would never, ever be in love with someone like him, you know that, it would be simply unseemly”.
Somehow, even with the brunette's ardent replies, Narcissa has a gut feeling that she's lying. She knows her sister. That look the girl was giving that tainted boy was nothing like the contempt she's trying to convey now.
The lying facade might work on everyone else, but Narcissa is simply too perceptive.
“I don't believe you”, the blonde girl simply states. “I want to, but you're not fooling me”.
The brunette almost crumbles, but she ends up going back to keeping her head held high, exactly what you would expect from a good, cold, pureblood girl. “I'm telling the truth”, she says, firmly, not budging, “whether you believe me or not”.
“I don't”, Narcissa repeats.
Andromeda twists her face with anger.
“Well, too bad, because-”
Andromeda is interrupted when the youngest sister suddenly walks towards the eldest, standing on the tip of her toes and wrapping her arms around the other's neck, hugging her sister. The eldest relaxes a little, deflates, then wraps her arms around the youngest’s waist. The two sisters stay like that for a while, trembling with emotion.
“Andy”, Narcissa whispers slowly, “I know you're as stubborn as it gets, but please promise me that you won't do anything stupid”.
“I promise”, Andromeda answers, voice muffled.
“You better mean it”, the blonde says, tightening her grip, “because tearing our family apart for a mudblood would be incredibly selfish of you”.
“I do mean it”, the brunette replies, “you know me, I'm not stupid”.
The fact that she doesn't say anything about the selfish part is not lost on Narcissa, but she can't do anything else at the moment. Going to their parents would be a grand betrayal, and going to Bellatrix will only result in another earful for Andromeda, but this time with no consideration if their parents are home or not. Nevermind their cousins, Sirius is a deviant himself, and Regulus is simply too young and proper, not unlike Bella, so he won't be any help either.
Naturally, anyone from outside their family is off limits.
‘I'll just have to trust Andy's word, I guess’, Narcissa thinks, unhappily, as she watches Andromeda burning the photos in the fireplace.
&&&
Needless to say, trusting Andromeda's word was a mistake.
At least in future Narcissa's eyes.
&&&
The floorboards squeak beneath quick feet as the youngest Black daughter makes her way to the penultimate bedroom of the hallway, some flowers arranged in a bouquet between her hands. Normally, she would cast a spell to avoid the squeaking sounds, but today is a joyful day, so her mother can excuse the noises for now.
The day asks for loud celebration, after all.
“Bella!” Narcissa Black says with joy, “I'm back with the bouquet”.
“Oh yes, put it on top of the dresser for now, will you”, Bellatrix replies, sort of flippantly, as she analyzes her own face on the dressing table in front of her.
Narcissa acquiesces, delicately placing the bouquet on top of Bellatrix’s black wood dresser. The blonde then walks towards where her older sister is seated, asking “you won't even check the flowers to see if they're the ones you requested?”
“Well, it isn't such a mystery, is it? White roses and white narcissi, obviously” the raven haired girl replies, still not taking her eyes off her own reflex. “If they weren't what I requested, you or our mother would already have made a fuss about it”, she continues, and the blonde nods, agreeing. The youngest is still quite happy her older sister decided to homage her by choosing narcissus as a main flower at her wedding. It just shows how they grew close these past few years.
“Are you excited to walk down the aisle?” Narcissa asks, which makes Bellatrix finally look up to her.
Rodolphus Lestrange isn't that big of a catch in many ways, they both know. He isn't particularly handsome, doesn't have an engaging personality, and Narcissa knows that Bellatrix doesn't care much about him.
However, the Lestranges are wealthy and pureblood, so that reigns over everything else.
“Well, excited is not the word exactly”, Bellatrix begins, pursing her lips and shrugging, “I mean, it's my duty, I'm the eldest daughter now, after all. Wouldn't do good for our family's reputation if I ended up as a spinster”.
“Do you think you would be marrying now if…” Narcissa trails off, but they both know what the youngest means.
If Andromeda didn't betray our family. If she stayed and married a pureblood gentleman instead of the foul mudblood she chose. If she wasn't selfish and realized they needed her, instead of choosing whatever fleeting romance she found over her own sisters. If she understood that her responsibilities as the eldest daughter would fall over Bellatrix's shoulders when she abandoned them, and that Narcissa would have to pick up the pieces she left behind.
Narcissa doesn't even know why she brought this up. Andromeda is now a forbidden topic in the Black household, her name burned from the tapestry as proof.
“Well, I guess we'll never know”, Bellatrix says, voice tinged with resentment, then clears her throat, smiling wickedly, “you know what I'm actually really excited about, though?”
The youngest shakes her head for her to continue, and the older does,“I can't wait to take the Dark Mark after the wedding”.
Narcissa’s heart skips a beat at that. Of course it's an honour to receive the Mark, but the idea of Bellatrix running around at the risk of getting tortured or killed leaves a bad taste in the blonde's mouth.
The youngest expresses these concerns, but Bellatrix waves it off. “Me? Getting killed or tortured? Ha!” The raven haired girl cackles loudly, “the others are the ones who should be afraid of my torture methods, sister”.
The youngest knows Bellatrix was always an outstandingly powerful witch, but those words don't stop Narcissa’s stomach from churning, and just when she's about to say a few more words of concern, the other girl takes her hands into her own, and looks into her eyes. “Actually, I even tried a few hexes on some scum already”, she says, almost glowing in glee.
Bellatrix describes the various spells she inflicted on some muggle village the Death Eaters raided last month. Her eyes look glazed as she recounts how each person squirmed and struggled before she killed them, how she could see their nerves get fractured little by little, how it felt amazing and she could feel the pleasure settle in her bones as she felt their guts getting spilled, saw their eyes rolling in pain, smelled the flesh burning and heard their screams of terror.
Narcissa gradually gets paler as her sister narrates these horrible, violent, terrifying things, and her concerns take another turn. What shocks and scares her the most isn't even the description by itself, but the way Bellatrix sounds genuinely insane as she tells these stories.
When picturing these acts, the youngest can pretend it's one of the scary tales that Bellatrix used to tell Narcissa when they were kids to invoke fear within her and get her to stop pestering the raven haired girl, like older siblings usually do. But the wild look Bellatrix has on her face when recounting those things is unnerving. It looks eerie. It's like looking at an addict so far into the dependency, knowing that trying to get them out of it will only compel them to push you away even more.
Oh, Narcissa thinks, a chill running down her spine, she's genuinely getting addicted to torturing people. The blonde just knows that this will only go downhill from the moment that Bellatrix gets the Dark Mark she wants so much.
And even more alarming, she knows that the natural course of addictions is, of course, the destruction of oneself.
And Narcissa Black can't afford to lose any more sisters.
“Bella”, Narcissa begins, voice almost trembling.
“Yes, Cissy?” Bellatrix answers, tilting her head.
“Can you promise me something?” The blonde asks, and doesn't wait for the reply, “please promise me that you won't let the pleasure of all this wickedness take over you”.
Bellatrix scoffs, “I'm not getting taken over by anything, Cissy. Besides, it's not wickedness”, she raises an eyebrow, “it's only righteous to purge these insects from the Earth.”
“Then promising me won't cost you anything”, the blonde firmly replies, tightening her grip on Bellatrix's hands between hers, ignoring the last sentences. The muggles Bellatrix is torturing are of little importance to Narcissa, yes, but what she's actually worried about is her sister's psyche in itself, and witnessing (nevermind applying) this sort of violence can't be good for the mind.
The raven haired girl rolls her eyes, “ok, ok, I promise to… what did you say again? Not letting the pleasure of… what was the word, wickedness?” Bella laughs, as if what she just said was ridiculous, “...take over me?” Narcissa nods, then Bellatrix continues, “yeah, that”.
I don't believe you, Narcissa thinks, echoing what she said to her eldest sister so long ago, but at this point she knows that she's just a spectator in her sisters’ lives. They will do whatever they want anyway, regardless of how this will affect their youngest sister. It breaks her to think so. She can't save her sisters, she can't save their family. She can't force them to do what's right. She can only watch as they abandon her for others. For a fleeting romance, for the addiction of power, for the vices of life.
In the end, she can only control herself.
…Perhaps not even that.
“Why are you crying?” Bellatrix asks, alarmed.
Narcissa frowns and makes a sound of confusion, then raises her hand and touches her own face, feeling the tear tracks there.
She didn't even notice she was crying.
“It's nothing”, Narcissa replies, “I'm only emotional at the thought of you marrying and leaving me here”.
Bellatrix chuckles, “oh, dear sister, you won't be by yourself for much longer, from what I gather”, she opens a smirk, “isn’t that Malfoy boy courting you at the moment?”
Narcissa blushes, “indeed, but you know how these things go, it'll be a while before our parents decide to formalize our engagement”.
Bellatrix raises her eyebrow, “not too long, I hope”, she cackles, “or you might end up getting knocked up and married in a huge dress to cover it up!”
Narcissa slaps her sister's arm, appalled, yelling “shut the fuck up!”, pureblood properness forgotten, which only makes Bellatrix cackle even louder.
“Girls, the noise!” They hear their mother's magically amplified voice from downstairs, which makes both of them lower their voices immediately.
Narcissa and Bellatrix keep talking about everything and nothing before the ceremony, and while she finally gets to watch Bella dance with her husband looking like a perfect gothic bride, dressed in the prettiest black wedding dress she has ever seen, the topics of torture and promises and tragedies are almost gone from Narcissa's mind.
Almost.
&&&
From: Lord Malfoy
To: Lady Malfoy
Dear Narcissa,
I'm sorry, my love. I tried to persuade your sister to do as I did and deny any willing ties with the Dark Lord, but she's simply too stubborn. She called me a traitor and tried to spit on me when I suggested it. Unfortunately, even money couldn't get the Wizengamot to turn a blind eye. It could've worked if Bellatrix at least kept her mouth shut, but you know how she gets when there's an opportunity to rant about… certain things. I hope you and our baby are safe, I miss you two dearly. Like I said to you before, if everything works as planned, I'll shortly join you both.
Furthermore [...]
The letter continues on as Lucius writes about other important things, but Narcissa has to take a breath after the first paragraph to sob for a bit before continuing to read.
Her shoulders shake with cries as the youngest sister realizes she is the sole legitimate Black daughter still standing.
&&&
The wet muddied dirt beneath refined shoes doesn't have a distinct noise, mainly because the drizzle hitting the umbrella levitating above Lady Malfoy's head muffles it.
Narcissa Black Malfoy doesn't notice any particular sounds other than her own heartbeat, though. Her hands are squeezing the small bouquet of flowers she brought to the cemetery, her throat is closing and her eyes are fixed on the tombstone in front of her.
Bellatrix Black Lestrange
1951-1998
If Narcissa had her way, the words “sister and wife” would be etched on the slate, but she's lucky Bellatrix was allowed to have a grave at all, let alone in the same cemetery as their parents. Her older sister was a war criminal, after all, and a very notable one at that. No amount of sisterly love can erase that.
The blonde woman places the flowers on the top of the grave. White narcissi and white roses, just like Bellatrix's wedding bouquet from so long ago. It's insane how much things have changed. Years ago, they were young girls getting ready for a wedding, and now one of them is dead. And worse, Narcissa isn’t nearly as sad as the blonde thought she would be, and she feels horrible about it. It's hard to admit it, but Narcissa's been grieving Bellatrix since she was taken into Azkaban, not long after the first war ended. Somehow, she knew that the sister she grew up with no longer existed.
It was incredibly weird, grieving someone who was still alive, but somehow this strange feeling has taken over Narcissa more than once.
“Part of me knew you would be here”, a familiar, yet strange voice comes from behind the blonde's back, interrupting her thoughts.
Narcissa turns back and almost crumbles when she sees Andromeda Black Tonks, brown curly hair peppered with silver strands adorning her aged, hardened but somehow still youthful face.
“Long time no see, sister”, Andromeda says when Narcissa doesn't answer anything.
“How did you get through the aurors?” Narcissa asks, eyeing for a second the two men watching them from afar. They are there to escort Narcissa, but have respectfully kept a certain distance when she approached her sister's grave.
“I'm familiar with most of them”, Andromeda says, voice strained. ‘Oh right’, Narcissa thinks, ‘her daughter is an auror’.
The blonde then watches how Andromeda's eyes turn resentful and enraged when she looks at Bellatrix's grave. Narcissa's heart clenches, ‘or rather, she was an auror’.
“I know that I gave up my right to sisterhood when I decided to elope”, Andromeda says, voice tinged with barely concealed rage, “but somehow I never expected to have my own daughter taken away from me by a woman who I once called my sister.”
Here's the thing: motherhood changed a lot of Narcissa's priorities. The blonde didn't understand why Andromeda eloped while pregnant at the time she did it, but when Narcissa first gazed upon her baby's icy grey eyes, she was suddenly graced with the knowledge that she would do worse for her kid than just disgrace her name. Suddenly, all of her values were next to nothing when compared to the safety of her baby. They were the most precious treasure life had ever given her. She would destroy worlds and universes to protect her kid, and every kind of love she had ever experienced until then was second place to what she felt for that human being. It's a love so intense that she risked torture and death just to see her child safe again. She even went against Bellatrix herself several times in the process of protecting her child. Narcissa knows that she would lose herself to madness if her baby died.
Which is why she just knows that, in Andromeda's place, she would probably have the urge to unbury Bellatrix's corpse just to kill it again. Make sure it was dead, fistfight it, maybe decapitate it in the process. Honestly, Narcissa thinks Andromeda is handling it with a grace she surely wouldn't have if it were her.
“I wouldn't ever forgive her if I were you”, Narcissa simply says.
“Trust me, I won't”, Andromeda replies with a raspy voice.
“I don't know how you didn't go mad with grief.”
“Believe me when I say that I also don't.”
They spend a moment in silence gazing at the tombstone.
“I fucking hate her guts”, Andromeda says, quietly but empathically, “I despise her so much that I want to desecrate her grave and explode her bones, but a stupid part of me that I absolutely loathe still thinks of her as that creepy little kid that pinned moths on her journals and made you cry after lunch”, the brown haired woman lets a few tears out, “it's a bizarre feeling, because I know the monster that killed my daughter wasn't that kid anymore. I know that Bella, as I knew her, didn’t exist anymore. My Bella was mean, and oftentimes even a bit cruel, but she wouldn't ever hurt me this much on purpose. That thing-”, her voice cracks, “wasn't my Bella.”
“She hasn't been our Bella for a long time”, Narcissa says after a beat of silence, “Azkaban broke her, yes, but she had been in an arduous process of corruption long before that”, she lets a shaky breath, “it was hard to see, because her eyes reflected a type of insanity you only see in maniacs, but well… Maniac she came to be. It wasn't enjoyable, being around her and her fanaticism, especially near the end”, the blonde then glances at the brunette beside her, “what I'm trying to say is: don't think about her as our Bella, think about her as the distant Lady Lestrange.”
“Do you think about her as the distant Lady Lestrange?” Andromeda asks.
“I try to”, Narcissa replies, “but I can't say I succeed most of the time.”
The brunette takes a tissue out of her pocket.
“You suck at comforting people, Cissy”, Andromeda says, cleaning her nose with the fabric.
“Well, sentimental words were never my forte”, the blonde replies, “I always favored a more direct approach.”
“That you did.”
The two estranged sisters stay in silence for a while, enjoying the (un)familiar sensation of being in each other's presence once again.
“You have an orphaned grandchild, if I understand correctly?” Narcissa asks a bit warily.
“I do”, Andromeda replies, then visibly holds herself from crying, “I have no idea how I'll raise them.”
“I can help”, the youngest sister replies almost instantly, then quickly continues when the eldest looks at her with surprised eyes, “my kid just turned eighteen, I slightly miss having little feet running through the corridors.”
“Aren't you in house arrest?” Andromeda asks, eyebrow raised.
“Not for long”, Narcissa replies, then chuckles when the brunette looks at her, confused, “I think you forgot the way money dictates our world, sister.”
“Pardon, forgot for a moment there that I was talking with Lady Malfoy over here”, the brunette says, rolling her eyes, then narrowing them, “correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't you who thought that my husband was disgusting and my child and grandchild were tainted?”
“I used to, but I think time has mellowed me”, Narcissa answers after a moment of pondering, “now I can hardly think ill of any child.” That was only partially true, but Andromeda doesn't need to know that.
The brunette shrugs as if saying ‘fair enough’, then looks at the sky. “The weather doesn't seem to be getting any better”, she says, “I think it's time for us to go home.”
Narcissa nods in agreement, “you can visit me if you want”, she smiles, “then I can return the favor when my sentence ends.”
“I would like that”, Andromeda says, sincerely, then smiles as well, “I never thought I would have the chance to meet with you in a friendly way again.”
“Neither did I”, Narcissa replies, then gestures at the cemetery's gate, “shall we?”
“Just a moment”, the eldest sister replies, then turns and spits at the middle one's grave. “Fucking bitch”, she mutters.
“You turned vulgar, Andy”, the youngest jests, earning a dirty look from Andromeda.
“Another word and I'll curse you too, Cissy.”